Rants

3

Fake

July 2nd, 2009by Jeane

It’s so messed up. I don’t even know why I’m doing this. I guess the reason I want to die is because metaphorically I’m dying inside already, and I want life to end before I’m dead in there.
I’m an angry teenager too young to be classified as a teenager. The pain hurts. I want to cut myself like I did before when I had no reason to, and now I have reasons to and somehow I can’t bring myself to do it.
My relatives hate me because I’m silent, “unfilipino”, different. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen them ignore me. Ironically, I’ve

Processing your request, Please wait....
8

Helpless.

July 1st, 2009by Jess66

I don’t know what to do anymore. Last night I sat there in my room in my closet with the scissors to my wrist cutting.. not very deep. and i just kept imagining me going a little bit deeper and slowly dying. I don’t WANT to do. I want to escape what I’m feeling and I can’t find a way to do that, my only outlet is death. I try so hard to be stable it’s like I’m either SUPER happy, SUPER sad, or SUPER something and all I do is get yelled at for it by my mother. I’m trying so hard I don’t …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

even at the Top im at the bottom

July 1st, 2009by darkgermandeath

When i feel im doing something good with my life something happens that shoots me into the ground.Being the youngest of five most would think i would be the babyed one the spoiled little bastard that gets what ever i ask for.And where i have received the things i had wanted im told its just because im the baby one,not that i had done something good enough for a reward.Always being told that beauty is the only way you’ll make in the world is depressing when you find your self disgusting at times i will act as if im happy so i dont bring …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

fuck it

June 29th, 2009by forgetkaitlin

you cant just fucking sit around for one god dam day and just feeling sorry for your self for a little bit

no not with out someone bitching at you saying its your own fault your life is shity

and that one person who says it is some stupid ***** who could give a fuck less about me but is sapposidly

sapossed to love me idk…… honestly im so angry at the world that i dont give a fuck about anything or any

one any more. Its like i cant show emotions

so i hide them become angry but have no one to take it out on…..

I just really dont …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Guilt

June 26th, 2009by dreyaFR

I think it started when I was a lot younger than I am now. I now realize that in the past I fed off of guilt. Somehow, I liked the feeling of making people feel guilty, making them feel regret. And I was that way because I was sick and tired of myself being a magnet for those emotions. Maybe then, I wanted people to feel what I felt. Every little event that happened to me always started to build up through the days into something big, and I would always just look at the things I had done, and just say ‘Man, my life …

Processing your request, Please wait....
26

Help for a plan to kill myself?

June 26th, 2009by youngblood

I’ve tried to kill myself so hard! In many times. I just wanna die, but I don’t know how. I mean, I need a plan to execute. Make a plan, I don’t know.. Some times life is a fuck contest of status, or beauty.. I can’t see my life better than.. that. My whole life was a fuck lie, and I have never seen one reason to live. I have never a relationship goodness, I don’t have friends, I mean.. I do, but its not the point. Isn’t my life, I don’t have plan for the future, I aways think in die, or something like that. I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

I Plan but I don’t Execute

June 25th, 2009by bigred1221

I’ve thought about committing suicide for the past year of my life.  I’ve thought about cutting my wrists but have decided that would be too bloody and painful.  I’ve thought about jumping in front of a Semi, but then I couldn’t do it because of the compassion I felt for the poor sorry bastard driving the truck.  I’ve thought about shooting myself, but the only guns in the house belong to my dad, and I sure as hell am not dying by embedding one of his bullets in my brain; he got me here in the first place, and I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he has succeeded in killing me …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

How Do I [Title] Depression?

June 22nd, 2009by semicharmdlife8

I’m new here. But I’m not new to the concept. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of cutting. I’m tired of pulling my hair out in frustration. I’m tired of being hated. I’m tired of walking into a room and wanting to run out for fear of people thinking I’m crazy or annoying.

I hate me.

I’m a 19 year old girl in college persuing an astrophysics and math double major. Yeah, I know. Same reaction I get from everyone. “Do you have some sort of death wish!?” If they only knew the truth in that question.

I’m not going to list the reasons that I feel sorry …

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

Done.

June 20th, 2009by Jess66

Hello there. My name’s Jessica. My age, ill say is under an adult, by far. Any ways, im here to tell you. if there is any listeners. i suppose not. but i will go on. im at quite a young age, and im very depressed. i was led to fall in love with this amazing girl. yes, girl. and she played to love me bakc for a while, and i had to sit there and watch her get like 3 different boy friends and after each one crushed her i was there to lean on for a bit. and that was that. i got so …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

*Sigh*

June 18th, 2009by CJ

I just ate something that I really don’t feel like throwing up. I’m just sitting here, not knowing what to do. And its not just for the moment. It’s not knowing what to do with my life. Who says I can’t play God with my own life? Nobody. I already have a huge bag full of aspirin in my room. I have a bottle of soda too. I know it probably won’t work like the two other times I tried it, and I will just silently throw up my guts in the bathroom while everyone is sleeping.

I read the one comment I got on my other …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Im Tired.

June 14th, 2009by Forever_Young

I used to do well in school, getting A’s all the time. Making my parents happy.

I then fell in love, and being in love with someone who doesent return the favor, is tiring.

Im emotionally and physically tired, and i just want to sleep.

I want to sleep forever. Which sounds weird, because i know death isnt like sleeping, i wont be dreaming, i will just be dead.

But that sounds the closest i can get to the feeling i want.

Im trying so hard to be what everyone wants me to be.

But I know i just let everyone down.

Im tired. And i think.

Its time to rest.

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

Endless loops of emptyness…

June 12th, 2009by Swiz

I guess ill start by stating the facts… Im currently 17, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when i was 4, fell into a deep depression in the 6th grade, and am still feeling depressed. although i manage to have an outward appearance of being fine, im not. I was also recently diagnosed with severe POTS… some shitty thing where my blood pools in my legs, so i have a high heart rate but low blood pressure. If i compare my life to others, i know its damn fine. I have a loving mother and three loving sisters. My dad loves me in his …

Processing your request, Please wait....
8

So Alone

June 10th, 2009by Mechanical

I’m not even sure what to write here, but I guess I’ll start with why I feel like killing myself. I have a sister and parents and you’d think we were a normal family. Instead, I hate my parents so much. I love my sister but she doesn’t love me. I love her so much and above all that makes me want to die, knowing she doesn’t love me. When she was 12 our father sexually molested her. I don’t know what happened; I don’t really know anything. This went on until she was 15 and a family friend found out, and put a stop …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

only one holding up

June 4th, 2009by tess

i was bored today, so i started looking around the site again. i haven’t poked around for a while now. as i was reading people’s stories, i found myself envious of them. i think i know why. some of the people here- correction, MANY of the people here have already attempted suicide. and i am jealous. it’s not just in this online world, it’s in my reality too. it seems ok for everyone else to break down, but not me. a kid i had known for years hung himself in the week before his bar mitzvah. we saw my neighbor get carted out of her …

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

My friend that is my suicide

June 2nd, 2009by Suicidal

” I’ve often thought of suicide as my anwser. But now i regret it. I Slit my wrist way to deep all the blood rushes from my gentle body as i lay crimped up on the floor i wonder if anyone even cares. My funeral was horrible no one even bother to release a tear. not one. No one came to claim me as there’s. No boys seem to take a look when i walk by they just go on&on about the measly lives of the tiredness of the others with in the room. No counselor seems to listen when i scream at the top of …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Impossible to go to sleep and wake up to another day

June 1st, 2009by Freija

I don’t want to live anymore, it’s that simple…

I am a dreamer, and throughout difficult times in my life, I always had this light pulling me toward better days.

I am now 35, depression has always been a part of my life, and I am feeling exhausted.

I lost everything, I am left with nothing.  Building my life again would take me an incredible amount of strength that I do not have at this point.

I know what is the core of my endless suffering: I simply need love.  But that cannot be done consciously, and when I have truly loved, I have always lost.  I cannot keep …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

looking for a way out

June 1st, 2009by everwaiting

I am a 17 year old girl and I found this website while seeking least painful methods of suicide on Google.

If I had half an ounce of courage in my veins, I would damn painlessness and go out messily: off the edge of a building of with a bullet to the temple. I am, however, extraordinarily cowardly when it comes to agony. I would be inclined towards an overdose, but I hear that’s a horrible way to go – vomitting. I would inject some air into a vein, but where would I get the syringe? And I’m no fan of needles… In short, the recurrent …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

a Title is irrelevant

May 28th, 2009by Hotsauce

I realized I could kill myself at a young age. When I grew older, I realized that being suicidal brought attention. Even more older, I realized being suicidal would eventually alienate people. Eventually I realized, My feelings of suicide, were real, and instead of providing help, people would rather compare and challenge my problems with theirs, just to justify they were a bit more troubled than I was. I suppose that’s how my friends justified ignoring me.

I found that when my “symptoms” didn’t fit textbook examples of typical suicidal people, that psychiatrists started shortening my visits, yet still wrote out prescriptions. I found that only …

Processing your request, Please wait....
9

im a nothing

May 26th, 2009by anothing

i sit at school in the computer lab and all i can think to do i look up things on suicide.  I always find pictures and stories and more and more ideas just go through my brain.  Im so sick of my life and i want to be dead. I cant do anything right, i have no friends, my parents hate me , and i have no future.  I think tonights the night.  i just want to get it over with. i can’t wait to get home and finish it once and for all!

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

Help

May 25th, 2009by painterofmusic

          Everything hurts. The secrets I can’t tell anyone, and no one cares at all. Who do I turn to? How do I say the words to someone, someone I trust, that is going to make them understand? Who would I tell? Who can I trust? How do I get even one minute with them only three days before school is out? I’m going to die this summer. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t stand my life anymore, my mind… I have secrets that are killing me, literally. I’m going to die because I can’t take knowing the things I know. And even …

Processing your request, Please wait....