Rants

9

Suicide

February 25th, 2011by Kizzy

When I don’t take my Meds I lose track of my myself. I sink in to a depression. The darkness takes over. All I can think of is my demons. All the mistakes I’ve made, the people I’ve hurt, those who I’ve lost are stuck in my head. The memories replaying again and again until I want to die.

I hate all those how rant about how suicide is a sin. I think they just fear death and that makes them feel weak. They hide their weakness behind walls of hate.

Suicide is not a sin. It is not a weakness. It takes strength to do. So many times I have …

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2

I’m so lost.[rant]

February 24th, 2011by LessWorse

I feel hopeless. I’ve known about this site for awhile and I tend to use it to help myself out of my bind. Mostly, I read some posts and if I get the nerve I’ll … rant. It seems theraputic, and after almost a dozen ‘strangers’ emailed me when I choked on a bottle of sleeping pills… Well, only a select few would bother emailing. And I mean a select few were honestly being supportive and so I reciprocated. Its overwhelming, but it was awesome. Unfortunately, this is a scar in my spirit, so it will literally never go away. Memory is like that. And …

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13

Alone

February 22nd, 2011by Deep abyss

I wake up each morning alone in my bed, unable to breathe when I think about the depressing things in my life.

I go to school alone, sit in class near people who are fakes. I talk to those around me, but can’t get close to anyone. I grow envious of those who laugh and smile with close friends near by, wondering why I can’t have someone like that.

I go home alone, heading straight to my room, where I’m caged in for years now.

I do homework and study alone, sitting on my room, unable to breathe thinking of how many people I trusted have lied to …

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4

It hurts so bad

February 21st, 2011by lalalala

I’ve been hurting since December 2009 when this guy I met online (J) stopped responding to emails. I was really hurting before that because my dad’s a piece of shit who had six strokes and is really mentally ill. But it only started hurting so bad when J stopped talking to me. It ripped my guts out. I couldn’t breathe without him. I loved him so bad and it killed me that he didn’t want me anymore.

I met this amazing guy online (S) and I know he really exists, he made this whole organization and website for teens in crisis and I talk to him …

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7

is there any point?

February 21st, 2011by whydoineedaname

i really don’t know where to start

i’ve self harmed for a year and a half, it’s only getting worse, i have very low self esteem, my family is a complete mess, including abuse, attempted suicide and murder, affairs. that’s the least of my worries, i hate myself with a passion, what’s so wrong with me that makes everyone in my life want to leave me? i saw a psychiatrist for roughly a year, which really didn’t help me, neither did anti-depressants, i think about suicide everyday, how much easier it would be to feel nothing, i don’t think i could do it though, i’d feel …

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18

Broken and wants to die

February 21st, 2011by Deep abyss

I feel so empty inside. I have no one. Everyone who I ever cared about and loved don’t care about me at all.

The story of my life summed up: Only had girlfriends online. (lame, I know). Too shy to ask a girl out. Every friend that I got close to, end up not caring about me or moving far away and not ever talk to me again. Every new friends I try to make, are always distant from me. My family aren’t close and we don’t do anything together, not even eat in the same room. I’m always stuck inside my room when I don’t …

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5

Random ranting about random topics (amazing title right? Fuck you if no jk)

February 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

Oh my god. Humans are considered many things. Mostly evil, often disguised as nice. Anyways this is just my ranting about random crap while listening to the flobots (whoo!!! Jk I don’t say that) anyways I think there is many things I think about when I’m bored… And lemme tell you, my home is extremely boring at my dads place, but my moms place is better. Anyways, what’s the point in living with such evil creatures [humans]? I am still depressed, but I think I kind of accepted my depression and felt happy? Idk if that’s what caused me to feel better but as a …

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7

:'(

February 20th, 2011by girliemo20

i cant deal with it realy…its to hard….i spend most of my time alone all my firends r to fair away frm me now..i thought i could deal with it and i was for a wile then i got with my ex…2 fucken yrs i gave him and he was helping me pick up the peices and stop being so bad….then he just goes..and i broke again…i put on a brave face for everyone wen i just wana slice my wrists and sleep and never wake up its even hard not to cut anymore :'(  i dont wana slip backwards anymore i noe its gettin …

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2

why am I still here?

February 17th, 2011by flip92

Wow…the last time i logged on here was September.  I never knew I could suppress suicidal thoughts like this for so long, and I don’t know how I managed to do so. 

Things have gotten a little better, and I have gotten a little happier.  But in my case, the good times seem to come and go, and now everything is just plain wrong again.  I don’t know what to say or do or think anymore, but all I know is that everything about me and my life just seems so pathetic now.  My family and TRUE friends are all far away, and I don’t know when I will get …

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2

How I would do it and Why….

February 15th, 2011by Ghostwater

If I were to do this – I would go about it this way.

Trains – Trains wiegh thousands of pounds. It would not have to hurt either. You may not even have to feel fear,  if you just go lay on the track and fall asleep  close to the time the next train will come. The driver would not be at fault either – it would take him at least a mile before he could stop the train and that might be too late.

I am thinking of using a train.

Why?

These reasons may seem silly but I hate this constant pain. Like most suicide people the amount …

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3

Forever since I’ve been here…

February 12th, 2011by oktobresnoe

Hey guys. God, I’ve missed yall. The last time I was on here was before Christmas I think. So much stuff has been going on lately that I don’t even know where to start. Well, I guess what I came on to say, is that right now, I’m supposed to be having an awesome time hanging with my “friends.” I’m having a party right now, but I’m the only one awake. Even before they fell asleep, I wasn’t here. I was just invisible. Not sure why I’m telling you all this, especially considering how unimportant it is compared to all the crap that’s been going …

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4

i;ve had enough

February 10th, 2011by lost419

i am a 40yr old woman and i have had P.T.S.D for 5yrs.4yrs ago i jumped off a cliff to kill myself but landed on a ledge 100 foot down and survived.ever since then i have regretted not dying that night.i have been in and out of psychiatric hospital and have a whole load of mental health professionals,housing support,alcohol support and work support and of course friends and family supporting me on a daily basis yet i still cant manage to feel any better.i gave up drinking 162 days ago and i assumed i would feel better but i dont.i am on the brink of …

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1

The end seems so close…

February 9th, 2011by HellBoundToBleed

Life is becoming a dead end,in the literal sense of that phrase…maybe its for a reason…

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10

even more scared

February 9th, 2011by aureyslasthope

I just attempted what I had planned before. I filled a bag with helium, exhaled then tied it tight around my neck. It started ok, after maybe 20-30 seconds I couldn’t breathe in anything, I tried to distract myself from it by crawling around, but panic took over and I ripped the bag off.

I’m guessing either I couldn’t get enough in the bag to make me pass out first. It was risen above my head even when I took the bag off, but I couldn’t inhale anything. I’m going to say I botched this attempt…sad, it was the first one in years. I feel …

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2

a glimpse of hope

February 9th, 2011by apfriedm

I have just recently found this website. I navigated around on it a little and decided to make an account. For now I don’t want to share my full story but maybe one that will help bring at least a little hope to some people out there.

Ever since I was younger I had depression issues. I remember the times where the worst when I was probably in 8th or 9th grade. It got to the point where I would play games with myself, I convinced myself that no one cared about me and therefor my existence was pointless. I would go to school and actually …

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4

The Girl you would Never Suspect…

February 7th, 2011by youllneverknow

Im the girl you would never suspect.. the one who keeps you laughing, smiling and feeling good about yourself. I show you how to have a good time and how to forget all the bad things in your life. but you would never suspect that i do all these things to hide my own faults and insecurities. . you say im a good friend because im a good listener but i only listen because i dont want you to suspect my own problems.But now its out of control. I feel as if everything is crashing down around me and i cant stop it. I am suffocating in the remains of …

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8

So it seems that my dream is impossible

February 3rd, 2011by Nobody Today

So i go to this school where everyone’s white cept me.

They all come from doctors and lawyers.

Listen to music like Justin Bieber and Britney Spears.

I like soul and Chrisofer Drew.

So today the teacher asked me what we wanted to be.

White boy in the front: I want to be a doctor

White girl in the front: I want to be a therapist.

White boy in the middle: I want to be a pro basketball player.

Finally it’s me.

Me: I want to be a tattoo artist.

Snickers and stares.

Teacher calls my mom. Mom shouts at me.

“Do you think a girl like you could ever do something as dirty as that?”

Silence.

“What’s so …

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19

I can’t take it…

February 3rd, 2011by Diamondonalandmine

 

I’ve been having a relatively good time, up until now.

To start off I would like to say I’m emo, both in the cutting way and I dress that way as of now.

I like this one guy (not my ex) and well lets just say he’s popular. I’ve like him since he first talked to me and well when he’s at school and with his friends he acts all weird but when its just the two of us he helps me with something I’m struggling on or we just talk.

So I don’t know what’s going on.

Another reason is I get called numerous things nowadays. The biggest …

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6

Epiphany

January 27th, 2011by Diamondonalandmine

 

 I am an odd child, I will admit.

I like things most people my age would never take an interest in.

I’m sorry I’m different.

Different…

A word which means abnormal, feared or even on good terms unique.

What’s the worst that I could say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

A brillant song from a brillant band, I relate most of my life from songs like this.

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, well how come no one can see the real me, buried beneath these layers of flesh? The real me that vanished.

I see you lying next to me
With words I …

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6

Look at that fucking failure

January 26th, 2011by MyChoice

Hello all,
I’m 18, male. I’ve been seriously considering suicide for well over a year now, I’m what you’d call a slacker I guess but I have reasons that I know my family will not understand… work seems like a waste of life, I have social anxiety also which is a major contributing factor, and because of that I isolate myself in my room most of the time. I’ve gotten into a habit of staying up all night and sleeping most of the day. I usually think about life and existence on this ridiculous planet to try and push myself towards actually ending it but …

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