Rants

1

Dehumanization

March 24th, 2011by War and Peace

In early January I decided it was about time I get myself into post-secondary but I had to start with upgrading. This was discussed with my employer and I registered for school but due to a miss-communication I was left without a sustainable amount of hours. In light of the events and having $5000 cash on hand I decided I would move out of my town and into the city so I could be closer to school and have better opportunities for work.

My first month in the city an uninsured driver cut me off and totaled my car, leaving me without transportation in -40*C, I …

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5

…..:(

March 24th, 2011by pshychotic_lette

stupid ***** from school wsa talking about me in front of me to her friends in my english class. i wasnt doing anything but minding my own business. i was so pissed and my mom came into my school today to talk to my administrator. i feel like crying im so pissed off and im shaking i mean ya i took my meds but im still pissed off. Yesterday when i was waitng fo rmy bus she started cussing at me because her brother was served with papers. Im so fed up i feel ike crying and im ready to go home. i feel like …

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3

…im fed up with everyone’s bull s**t!!!!!

March 23rd, 2011by pshychotic_lette

so now that title says alot well heres some more. i cant take it anymore. i was so pissed off last night that i didnt even eat dinner, im starting to skip meals and all kinds of stuff ya my parents are worried about me big deal. i wish i had a way out. im ready to give up.

anyone know what to do??? ugh:(

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5

My story

March 22nd, 2011by straywolf

Well I obviously hate my life… I go back and forth between the thought of committing suicide and the thought of running away. I’d rather run away but I have nowhere to go and nothing to follow… so I guess the only option I have is to kill myself.

It’s nothing spontaneous, I’ve felt suicidal for the past 5-6 years of my life… since the time my brother got sick and died. He was 14 years older than me and was in the military. At that time he was around 20 yrs old, I was very little. One day he just fainted at work and after …

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6

i need him…..i think… damn the agony

March 22nd, 2011by pshychotic_lette

he was the one guy i could talk to, the one guy i felt safe with. I can’t stand the t hought of him being with someone else. Things just seem to spin out of control when his name shows up on my caller i.d. or a text message. He held me when i was upset and now i have no one. i don’t feel safe not even in my own home let alone in my own mind. i have bruises everywhere andscars on my wrists. he doesn’t know about them  atleast i dont think he does. if he does he hasnt said so. i cant …

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2

fed the fuck up

March 22nd, 2011by pshychotic_lette

so last night i busted up my hand with a hammer, by accident. i was trying to open a can of paint, because i couldnt find a screw driver.then i fell and twisted my damn ankle, and even more so im ready to put my uncle in the hospital, i have so many bruises from fighting wiht him, and last night he smacked my arm with a level, he said he didnt smack me that hard well ya he did, i have a welt. yes i am extremely pissed off. and to top it all off, i barely got any sleep last night and i …

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1

Suicide is out of reach

March 22nd, 2011by KevinThorn

Hey, I feel bad about posting on here, mostly because im not a druggy or have a particularly bad life. Im a 19 year old college student with a loving family. That being said i do hate myself and have tried to kill myself numerous times. I cut myself every other week or so, always in hidden areas like shoulders or thighs and always disinfected with rubbing alcohol at least 2 times a  day until they heal over. Ive taken every type of anti depressant possible, seen over 20 psychiatrists/councilors and I never seem to feel better. It feels like ive been given so much, but i can do …

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7

I Need You..

March 22nd, 2011by Skrattt315

Hey Guys..

It’s me again. I forgot to tell you my name last night. It’s Ashlie. I’m from California. And right now I really need some help. My mother and I got in a huge fight today at dinner, because I’ve been being harassed at school. Some kid threw a syringe at me in 1st period and told me that I was nothing better than a junkie. And over the past two weeks, the same kid and many more of his friends have been touching me and just being complete ass holes. I guess I’m writing to anyone who’s willing to listen because I’m really feeling like

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2

realization

March 21st, 2011by pshychotic_lette

I finally realized I’m not the only who feels like their life is a living hell. And i also realized that i’m not the only one who wants to just disapear off the face of the earth. Sometimes i feel like taking some alcoholic beverage from my parents room and just drinking until i pass out. This sounds like so much fun to me. but so does taking 3 motrin 800mg and then passing out until two days later. Now i feel like breaking down, i wish i had a shoulder to cry or a guy to hold me tightly in his arms while my …

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0

Fucking asshole

March 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

Dad
Do you actually believe you can change someone by changing a variable? They may act different at times, but they’re the same person. Jasmine was raised by a drunken, drugged idiot and a bitchy mom. She hates her parents, because they don’t listen, because they treated her badly, and now you’re trying to control the situation, control her, because you think you will make a difference? She doesn’t like you, because you are an ignorant piece of shit. You don’t listen and youre an idiot. You only hear what you want to hear. And try to confuse others. You ask the stupidest questions and expect …

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3

Chokers, cutters and… Nutters???

March 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

What the fuck is a nutter, first of all? Also, I am not a cutter, but wish I was one, but I’m also a *****. I choke myself instead and write depressing shit. Choking, not as in choking a chicken, or masturbation, but as in my own neck. I asphyxiated myself with my hands on my neck. Only problem is I can’t find anyone that’s the same. I feel even worse, jk, but I am pretty pissed off I can’t find people who do the same thing as I do. I check google, but only found celebrites doing auto-erotic shit and suicide methods. I want …

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0

A quote for when I am sad. Helps me not cry in public… T_T 

March 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

Ryan Smithson, Ghosts of War, quoted.

” I comptemplate crying, but that seems useless. What does crying ever really do for us? It doesn’t solve our problems. It doesn’t solve problems. It doesn’t make us run faster or shoot better. If anything, crying only delays our solutions to the problem.” 

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1

A dream of the love of my life who broke my heart by saying no…

March 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

(I use the notes section of my iPhone like a journal… I love this dream, wish I could sleep and re-dream it…)

Today, I had another dream about Nycolle. I don’t feel angry, or annoyed, but slightly happier. 
  It started out random, I was walking through a mall and ended up naked, then wore my blanket I was sleeping in an hour ago. I ended up at a game store, buying a random game, my mom came through the door took the game and disappeared. I walked with another naked dude and we talked, don’t remember, but I ended up having clothes on and went to his …

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0

God??? Or chance?

March 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

Who or what is God, because apparently people keep praying to this unknown deity. People wish/pray for something and give thanks for the positive side of things, but my question is… Do people mistake God for chance. They ask/pray to God to win a soccer game, but its mainly by chance that they win. If God influenced games, what would happen if 2 people on opposite sides pray to God. Who’ll win? Now, I don’t want to call you stupid, even though it doesn’t matter to me anymore. It stupid that people pray to God, especially when it’s a selfish request, like I want $1 …

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0

My note to my cousin if I ever suicide or she goes back to Chicago… (it’s incomplete I haven’t updated…

March 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

Jasmine, you are an amazing girl and I wish I could stay on this planet, and be with you, but like everything I wish for. It is just a dream, a wish. I wish we could be together and I hope this place really is Hell because it’s the worst place ever. Theonly thing I wonder is why someone like yourself that’s so divine would be in a shithole like Earth. You are a beautiful and brilliant diamond in this shit. Why do you have an abusive, drugged, alcoholic dad and such a shitty life. I wish I could be with you at all times …

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0

Suicidal Army

March 21st, 2011by RogueShadow1281

we should ban together, instead of killing ourselves. Fight as mercenaries and since we’re suicidal then we won’t fear death and hopefully all die in a battle. Grab weapons (even though most of us want to end it right there when we get the guns) and kill. Fight in Iraq as a team of soldiers. Or become martyrs for some cause. Go to the extreme to show our support and be remembered for something other than the outcast who couldn’t fit in the puzzle called life.

I, as a leader, will fight alongside you to eradicate whoever stands in our way. I would be able …

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4

Just Another Statistic..

March 21st, 2011by Skrattt315

I’ve been through it all. I’m not kidding. Sit down and read this. I’m not a fake. I’m 15 years old and surprised as hell that I made it past 13. Since I was 12, I’ve been through rapes, murders, suicides, jails, hospitals, addictions, heartbreak,prostitution, eating disorders, honestly, everything. (If I left something out that you’re struggling with, let me know.) I’m currently still cutting. And I just got out of Juvenile Hall about 3 weeks ago, for the fifth time. The last time I cut was yesterday. I’ve thought about suicide everyday for the last 4 years. I wake up and think of ways to die. I

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4

I give up

March 20th, 2011by doesntmatteranymore

Since I was 13 I have had alot of trouble with depression, ten years later it hasn’t gotten much better. At age 15 I attempted to kill myself by shooting myself in the chest with a .22 handgun – the bullet missed my heart and went through my ribs. I spent some time in the hospital while I healed and a few days in a mental hospital, but I was able to convince them that I was ok. Months of emotional agony later I was able to pretend for a long time that everything was ok. Sure, I had my bad times, everyone does. But …

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1

Hopeless

March 18th, 2011by journey8

I feel like no one cares about me. My friends are always available when THEY need help, but somehow when the shoe’s on the other foot, so to speak, they magically disappear. My family doesn’t give a shit; they don’t get why I’m so unhappy, when they provide everything for me. At school I put on a farce and act the class clown they know me as, and I act happy because I am happy, happy to be distracted from the hopelessness that has encompassed my life. I feel like I have nothing. I’m useless. My friends use me because they know I will listen …

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3

a new way for pain

March 18th, 2011by pshychotic_lette

yesterday i figured out another way inflict pain on myself. i forgot how strong i am when i’m really pissed. so i smacked my arm a couple times and my forearm was red. my younger brother completely pissed me off yesterday. i dont understand why he has to be such a brat. and my sister thinks everything is a frickin game. why is it that every little thing pisses me off. i really need therapy. Burning doesnt help much, but hitting my hands and arms against stuff helps a bit i feel much better. i actually almost broke my wrist by hitting it as hard …

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