Rants

11

Hi there…

January 24th, 2018by Du_Dum_Ayzhin

   

 

Lets see…

                                                                …where to start

                                               . . .

     I just found this site while looking up “how

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17

On The Verge Of Giving Up

January 24th, 2018by someonewhoneedsajaket

Hello. This will be my first entry, and honestly… I am scared. I badly needed help from a professional, but my mom just nags at me, saying that she doesn’t want a daughter who is going to have records with some psychiatrist. My father, who was with me when we went to the hospital, knew and heard what my doctor said. That I needed psychiatric consultation. But he just shrugged it off as if what I’m going through is just easy as putting first aid on a wounded knee.

I’ve been suffering for years now because of my father. Words, words just can’t describe how horrible …

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1

Still here.

January 24th, 2018by miralee18765

About two years ago I wrote a post talking about how I wish I could just disappear. Two years have passed since then, and I still feel that way, and I think I’ll stay that way until the day I die. I’ve tried to engage with friends more, but just when they’re about to know something about me I withdraw and go back to the  ” I’m fine” phrase that blocks all attempts at cracking me open and have me show more emotions.

I was told by someone recently that he couldn’t understand me. He said, ” You’re always smiling, and that’s why our friends think …

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5

Fuck my life

January 22nd, 2018by SocialMasker

I can’t live anymore, not without her. My life has been absolute shit from the beginning, my real mom did drugs and hated me, i was abused a small bit, then when i got my current parents i was harshly punished for the smallest offenses. My friends all left me around 8th grade and i thought things were looking up for me my junior year, because a girl actually liked me. We ended up together but after two months she left me because she had mental issues. She was and still is perfect to me. I have tried my hardest to show i care, to …

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5

January 22nd, 2018by Letmyheartsing

It’s a shame that I have to starve because my mom doesn’t like me, I didn’t ask to be here. I didn’t ask for a fuck ***** to take care of me. I have big dreams and they’re are all shrinking mostly because of her. I wish I had a nice normal mom like my brother. She told me she wish she never had me multiple times. Please no one go “some kids don’t have a mom” or “your a crybaby” or even “there’s kids in 3 world countries suffering”. A fucking problem is a godamn problem Idc how bad or good it is. What …

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5

January 22nd, 2018by Letmyheartsing

When I really need to let go or get something off my chest I think of writing but it’s too hard to vent. I’ve lost it to the point where I can’t focused on something if I’m worried about hanging myself. I thought of writing poems but there’s no way.

It’s so much fucking torture, I really want to kill myself but I’m too scared of hell and failing.

I hate this fucking life I don’t belong here I feel it because it just doesn’t feel right to be here. Even when I’m not depressed I still have suicidal thoughts wondering my mind. I never actually attempted …

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9

Pork Soda

January 20th, 2018by thetrashmen

So I got out of the adolescent unit of a behavioral health facility

and

I’m lost.

I went purposely, y’know

seeking help.

And I got some?

I felt so optimistic

so productive

whilst I was there

but I got picked up last night

and now I just

don’t know what to do or how to apply anything?

There’s so much to fix

so much to get past

and it seemed so simple there but now it’s just

not?

I had it mapped, planned in the abstract

and no way to truly accomplish anything.

I’m trying so hard to get it together and I’m so pissed that I can’t fix myself in a day

but Rome fucking burned in one.

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4

So many questions… All confusion…

January 19th, 2018by Wanting out of here

About 10 years ago I converted to Christianity and accepted Jesus Christ as my Messiah and God. From as long as I remember, I’ve been spiritual-seeking. Very inquisitive and curious about God and His mechanisms in this world around us/me.
10 years ago, and prior to that, I’d had taken great-great PRIDE in saying that I’m such a ‘strong’ Believer in God and that my Faith is UNshakable.
So much of all that proved so UNtrue.
Whether connected with my converting to Christianity or not, I don’t know; but my eyes were opened wide, after that, to how horrible, cruel and cold this world is– around us.
Yes, Ok… …

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7

I want to kill myself

January 17th, 2018by eeyore

i don’t wanna deal with anything once again my father is relying on me to do his responsibilities I’m out here figuring out insurance shit I don’t even know what provider is supposed to be or what deductible is

he always gets mad at me for not knowing stuff no one ever taught me. As if a freaking dove is gonna whisper all the things I need to know in my ear.

my mom on the other hand is making me take religious classes and I don’t know she’s so harsh on me about it. I actually have cried everyday for the past two-ish weeks.

I always get …

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13

i’m just…lonely?

January 15th, 2018by thetrashmen

I’m not particularly striking, I suppose.

Not lightskinned, my nose is big

Just generally unappealing

I’ve worn an afro for about 4 years now

turns people off, or the ones I’m trying to attract at least.

I oversexualize myself in a way that seems to push people away even more.

I’ve this ridiculous tendency to be both loud and overtly inappropriate

I’m aware of it but,,, it’s just the way I am, I suppose.

I’m so good at repulsing everyone and I’m just

at this developmental stage in life where everyone else is changing and I’m just…not?

Dying hair, getting piercings, finding interests

I suppose I’ve gone through that phase already

but I’m just. stagnant at this …

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1

Drunk af

January 15th, 2018by luckystar

Does anyone else get suicidal while drunk? I think it’s the only way I’ll have the guts to do it. Don’t have anyone to talk to cause I feel guilty enough for ruining other people’s evenings already. I dunno, it sucks. I just want to get drunk without fucking things up for everybody else, feel guilty, then want to off myself to appease the guilt. Why can’t I have fun like everybody else?

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6

expelled from school

January 14th, 2018by evelina

hi. i got expelled from school like a week ago (10th grade). my parents don’t give a shit, but they tell me to get a job. can’t seek for one outside the house ’cause i’m super socially anxious. i tried to kill myself for god knows how many times and the only conclusion is a sick head.  i don’t know what to do anymore, really. it feels like the universe is toying me.

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3

I Don’t Belong Here

January 13th, 2018by crying1997

Straight to the point: I don’t feel like I belong here. On this earth, in this life, in this universe. Whatever that means. What does “belonging here” look like exactly? I’m not entirely sure. It’s not something that I have completely pinned down. If I had to say, I think what it means to “belong here” is to feel some sense of purpose, some drive towards a certain goal. This may be a bit too unrealistic; I may have this idea based off of the many works of fiction that I consume.

And the problem is, I don’t feel that. Like, at all. No motivation towards …

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3

Fear and Sickness

January 13th, 2018by Talos'Wife

I’m so tired just got done crying again… Look like an absolute mess with this mascara that ran down my face… it’s becoming some habit… One I really don’t want!  and today I dont have the energy to clean my face I’m sure many of u have had those days… I wish no one had to suffer or hurt…. People around me say I have control over my happiness or ask me why I can’t just be happy … I don’t have answers for them lord knows If I could I would be,  I just want to be ok I’m not even asking to be …

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4

a tired soul…

January 13th, 2018by muffnguy

life is good. caring family, good friends.

my family keeps expanding with more cute niece and nephew, my sister gonna marry this year and a very good atmosphere when there were family gatherings.

good old friends still in contact although within the whatsapp group and made new friends at college.

yeah,life is good… but im tired……

i dont even remember when the first time i felt this way, maybe since kindergarten? the thoughts about when my life gonna end always come whenever my age rose. i did think of suicidal things but my thought got held back because i didnt want my good family to receive the backlash of …

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6

Hopeless

January 11th, 2018by CaptchaIsSlavery

I was born into a family history of abuse.  My female progenitor, “Louise”, (who I stopped calling mother years ago) was raped by siblings and step-parents and ignored by her female progenitor who favored the boys according to Louise.  She got pregnant with me seemingly to “catch” her boyfriend, who didn’t take the bait and left.  I suspect they were both damaged, shitty, selfish, childish people who couldn’t love.  Louise then neglected me from birth and abused me mentally/emotionally for several years as a single mother on welfare.

As an example, when I was a boy of maybe 8-10 years old, I wrote Louise a poetic …

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0

I don’t see my self finishing it. I feel like shit.

January 11th, 2018by Urm8451n

I lost so much at the last years.

I know I would never be the same person, I already saw myself changing with the years.

I became a mad-man ;
Lacking sympathy, don’t feel love or any kind of true social bond.

I became more and more sociopath, but with the understanding of human beings. I can identify most of the people’s weaknesses and I usually take advantages of it for my own good, only to survive.

Look… It is just that I’m pissed of on my reality.

But I guess it doesn’t matter. AS LONG AS I KEEP PUSHING THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

anyway good day you all, with …

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5

I lied… Why admit it?

January 10th, 2018by Urm8451n

I lied to you guys about quitting this site…
I just can’t, you strangers are the only one to talk to.
I’m getting really lonely, and afraid of losing control.
I’m at my second semester, February is going to be the finals (University tests). Last semester I scored 88.5 average which is pretty high. But I promised my mom to score around 95 this semester.

I’m focused on the target…..but at the end of the day, when it gets silent, and I feel like talking, I’ve none to talk to.

I’m a friendly fine looking man, it is not that I don’t …

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12

Don’t think I’ll make it

January 9th, 2018by eeyore

Theres this pain in my chest that reminds me that I probably never make it

I’ll never be able to “show my true colors” I’m not sure who I am. I don’t know what my favorite things r I never care and I don’t think anyone ever will either. Will I ever find out what my goals for life are and would I even be able to achieve them

I feel like I don’t want myself. It’s kinda like I have no faith or hope in myself

Ive been feeling really empty lately I can’t even cry I’m just empty I don’t sleep I don’t eat I don’t …

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5

I feel..

I feel..

January 9th, 2018by RiloMor

I know it’s kind of dumb thinking this way. Like, it’s not my fault my dad was not the brightest bulb in the box and I know this. But I hate him for doing this to me.

Maybe it’s me over-thinking things but, from my knowledge and knowing serverl people with disorders physical and mental as well as having researched it extensively.. I just can’t help but think that my father, and his stupied genes gave me all these worries. Hell, my half sister and half brother are even worse than I am after he got married to a lady whose bulb seems to be on …

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