December 3rd, 2018 by Clayton Michaels

You are screaming and I can’t hear you.

I am screaming and you can’t hear me;

One person in a sea of 8 billion.

Live alone and love your T.V.

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Trapped again

  December 1st, 2018 by Clayton Michaels

I’m surrounded by horrible people and I’m becoming a horrible person.  I’m tired of being abused and losing. I’m tired of trying only to fail.  I’m afraid of the future in my current state, afraid of death, hospitalization, and jail.

I don’t even remember what it’s like to be loved.  People hate me without ever getting to know me and they judge me based on the way I react when I fall into their traps.  I’m tired of being lied to and abused, called names and deliberately bullied.

It’s okay for everybody to mistreat and disrespect me, but when I get pushed over the edge they can …

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the autumn of my life

  November 30th, 2018 by ebullientballoon

As a rule, I am sentimental to the point of neurosis.  Given as I am to swaying wildly from one emotional extreme to the other, when it comes to making permanent changes, (or changes I view as permanent) I stop in my tracks.  I freeze.  I let dilapidation surround me.  I orgiastically wreathe myself in ambivalence.  This has had the benefit of keeping me alive when I would’ve rather died, but it also has the deleterious effect of keeping me in a state in which a full, worthwhile life is impossible.  And so I begrudgingly trundle myself from one moment to the next, one impulse …

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Mom and Dad

  November 28th, 2018 by Clayton Michaels

Mom and Dad, you were both so screwed up and all that disfunction overflowed from your cup.  Abandoning me at the age of four, I watched my father walk out that door.  Left with a woman so selfish and cold that I don’t even remember her being in my life until I was 8 years old when she married an abusive psychopath that chased us down and in his wrath threatened to kidnap my baby sister.

Fairy tale step parents was what I had, it would been better if I had never had a dad, because I expected him to be there for me, but all …

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Completely Lost…

  November 25th, 2018 by Distressed Ostrich

I’m 21 years old and I’ve been suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts for almost 10 years now (I think so at least, I don’t remember much but I’m pretty sure I first tried to run away from my home when I was 11 or so).

I don’t think it’s my dad who used to come home drunk and beat my mom.
I don’t think it’s my suicidal mom, whom I have caught quite a few time trying to kill herself when I was a kid.
I don’t think it’s the lack of friends, or the introversion.
I don’t think it’s the constant lack of money and the fear …

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I have a good life.

  November 24th, 2018 by DW

I have a pretty good life, especially compared to most people. My dad’s rich. My mum’s poor. so i guess i’m somewhere in the inbetween. i get okay grades, and i have friends. my biggest complaints are well-deserved depression, shitty anxiety, and a semi-physical, but mostly verbally abusive stepmom. They think I’m a goody two shoes. I kinda am? but honestly, i wish someone would fucking notice when i just walk outside at night in the middle of a conversation and stay walking for long periods of time, or set fires in sewers, or do drugs cause hey free drugs are free. it just. nobody …

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  November 23rd, 2018 by Mac-10toSchool


I’m the voice in your head as you read this. That’s how reading works. Everyone does it. Is it a female voice, a male voice? Maybe it’s a voice that’s altogether different! Perhaps you’ve even given me an accent or a lisp to make me sound funny. Whatever the case may be, your mind created it. What else do you think your mind’s been creating lately? Is it really your mind, or is it you?

Anyway, if you decide to have a Snack today then enjoy it! It’s the small things that make you smile.


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Alone and lost

  November 22nd, 2018 by Black Holez

Does anyone here spend most of the time indoors and only going out when necessary? It’s been weeks since I’ve gotten out of the house and I’m losing my mind already. I haven’t had social contact aside from my girlfriend and sad thing is we only see each other hours at best because she has classes to attend to. My routine consists of moping in bed, waking up, doing nothing and then seeing my girlfriend every time her classes are up which is in the wee hours of the afternoon. My life is trash and honestly, it wouldn’t make a difference if I died today. …

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To be or not to be

  November 22nd, 2018 by randomdude101

I am torn between getting help and killing myself.

I don’t hate myself nor do I think that I don’t deserve to live. And I love my friends, with whom I shared many beautiful moments. When I think about leaving them behind I feel infinitely sorry, because I know they wont be better off without me. They will be hurt and left with so many questions that I cannot answer in one last letter.

But my problem is that I cannot help but wonder why I should stay alive in this world for another 60 years. Having to work for 40 years for someone else’s profit, having …

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Internet, Reflections, and Trial and Error

  November 22nd, 2018 by LiquidHuman

I think the internet is causing a lot of problems for me. I have a habit of looking up answers to impossible questions, such as what’s wrong with me, why was I born, what’s the point of going on another day? And I always get the same answers. Life if a gift. Don’t waste it. But I have to wonder if it really is. Maybe it is for some people, but not for me. It’s like when you get something for Christmas from your grandma that you really didn’t want. And you’d feel really guilty about throwing it away because they obviously took the time …

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The Commonality of Suicide

  November 18th, 2018 by whatatool

Thinking about dying has become surprisingly commonplace. I know it is a rather common subject of jokes nowadays as well. Sometimes it’s confusing. It’s hard to tell whether or not someone really wants to die or not; they might just be poking fun. Talking about disappearing and such is a quirk rather than a concern. I dunno. Maybe everyone’s jokes are ‘for real’ and everyone 30 and under does want to die; it would be rather concerning.

I recall when I was in a major depression that I acted the happiest. I was, to strangers, a pleasant person to be around. It was odd and somewhat …

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Bad memories

  November 17th, 2018 by SuicidalThoughtsButRefuseToKillMyself

I have bad memories of someone who says, “if I had it my way I would put him in a looney bin” fuck if I had it my way if I was strong enough I would kill myself not just bored with my life not certain about this life and wish I had the strength to end it all bipolar sucks my life is worthless to me at such times but I know if I ever do kill myself if I ever do that it would destroy everything that loves me but it would good for all those who hate and or don’t like me …

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These days

  November 14th, 2018 by Chanty

These days I don’t feel anything. Things that I used to care about seem uninteresting.
I feel like I have been on a road to self destruction. I see myself doing things that I know will only hurt me, but I can’t bring myself to care. I can’t bring myself to care about anything anymore and that scares me.
My grades are slipping, my relationship with my parents is straining.
I know that I should try to fix everything while I still can, but I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do anything anymore.
The thought of dying have been on my …

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Rusted metal sodomy

  November 11th, 2018 by SleeplessMind

I live in a shithole. There is mold growing in the walls, window frames, and carpets. The roof has not been repaired since last spring’s ice storm, the landlord fell through my ceiling while checking into the leak and repaired the missing piece of ceiling from that particular area, but my kids are sick from mold, I can’t afford to live elsewhere (rent 6 buildings down the street is double for the same sized apartment). My kids are asthmatic and have gone through inhalers as an alarming rate.
My eldest has severe behavioural issues (stabbed his baby brother today) and he (eldest) has been removed …

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I think my heart is giving me mixed signals

  November 3rd, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

I feel so lost right now: one of my few close friends- a girl- made me feel…………..special. We had just gone to see a marvel movie, and we were in the car, just chatting. I had previously mentioned to her passingly in the last week or so that I thought that I was going to being moving away soon, and she had reacted in a semi-sad, but mostly just bummed out way. But I brought the subject up again in the car, because I wanted to get her opinion on the whole thing. She started tearing up and sad that she’d really miss me. I …

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nobody’s there

  November 1st, 2018 by hollowchest

Feeling like I’m going insane.
Everyone’s delusional.
And I gotta play this game.
Alone and nobody gives a damn.
She said she’s my best friend but what?
Nobody hits up my phone up.
Everybody say they have depression and they’re all alone but it’s all just a facade. Like it’s trendy now to wear it as a badge of honor. When in fact you’re charged guilty pleading your honor.
Fk why I gotta bottle
Everything up inside
Gambling with my life like a lotto.
It’s past midnight.
Gotta sleep.
Dreams of waking up to a better life, resting in peace.

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Bad times

  October 30th, 2018 by Still_A_Human

I have a what from an outsider’s perspective a nice life. I have a loving family, nice grades, I don’t have any mental conditions, and I have nice things. But coming into my real life you see how horrible it is. I went to a nice school and I had bunch of friends, but I changed schools and everyone, EVERYONE hates me. I’m not exaggerating either, even my teachers hate me. I’ve never gotten a detention in my life, and now I’ve gotten 2 suspensions in three weeks. Think about it, it’s not me, it’s them. I am constantly bullied in school and beaten up. …

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make out with

  October 18th, 2018 by Yikrens

dislocated self-awareness. declination of the past. dispersion from freedom. unpleasant emersive thoughts. respective immersive social relational trust fond. disability of detachment.

this just keeps me awake what I read. who makes funerals, I would be death inside but I want to express it privately and have trust in coping skills, and issues.

I wished it in a bad prediction for the future to die, and I relapsed from hate to love which is something strong to me. I am unable to remember this, but the development of the relapse took my commiseration which used to consume me out in view of my desire and which had me …

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Until your dead

  October 16th, 2018 by thelonergirl123

Why is it when you suddenly die, everyone is like oh “she was so loved” or “I’m going to miss her”.   Am I the only one thinking you’ll miss throwing stuff at her and posting on the hate page you created about her. I guess once you die people just love to hear “I’m so sorry for your loss” and get attention off of your death at least that’s what they’re doing with hers.

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Let us see…

  October 13th, 2018 by rivets

I’m still alive. I dunno how, but I am. I exist. I am not a figment of my own imagination, as that would not make much sense.

If I said I talked to a girl today, would that seem weird? I don’t think it would. I do it all the time. There are several I know whom I really like. Never as anything more than acquaintances or friends, but that feeling may not always be mutually shared. It’s hard to tell. I’m like a cat in this arena. Give me too much attention and I’ll want nothing to do with you. It’s just how I’m wired. …

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