Rants

4

// why am i here.

May 22nd, 2017by whitewater

“Nobody will love you, until you love yourself”

         That is such, such a scary thought.

If I can’t love myself, if I physically, literally can’t, then what’s my point? Companionship is at the base of a human’s needs, so what happens when we don’t have it? I know for me, it kills you the same way a lack of food will. It will be the same thoughts running through your head; you know the position you are in, but you can’t do anything. You won’t do anything. You know what will happen if you don’t, yet there

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2

brain junk

May 22nd, 2017by vee

words won’t come out.
talking and expressing anything seems like too much work, or like something too complicated that i can’t figure out.
and when i do try to reach out and open up to others, it always goes wrong. i try telling someone about the panic attack i had, and they assume i’m lying and then proceed to tell me i’m not trying hard enough, and that only makes everything harder for everyone. they tell me to try harder.
i thought i was trying my best. and i was. but it seems like, once again, my best wasn’t enough.
i tried to open up, and …

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3

Finals

May 22nd, 2017by lxmyrick

For all of use in college, high school, or even middle school,  this is probably the hardest time of the years.

 

I am SO stressed out right now.  Iget about 4 hours of sleep with no caffeine, boring classes with everything being crammed inside my head.  And most of the things we learn in high school is never used unless for a job.  I am so stressed like I said.  I have no idea on how to calm down about this stress.  For any of those who a good in school or know how to mange stress, can you give me some tips.

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40

Cemetery On The Hill

May 22nd, 2017by _Angel_x

Walked out of class because I couldn’t stop crying the moment I arrived. What’s wrong with me ?

I went to the cemetery on the hill my favourite place to go. And I just lay on top of an above the ground grave. And I cried.

I cried until I was numb.
I cried until I was screaming.

Then I just lay there. In silence. The wind blowing on my skin and the sun beating down on me.

I couldn’t really feel it but I didnt care. Because this was the first time I had felt at peace in weeks.

I lay there limp and emotionless. Anyone walking past would’ve …

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9

my worth is in the comments

May 22nd, 2017by Milestiba

I am so stupid. All my life, I have measured my worth on the comments. Now, with social media, it is exemplified.

And I am a blood sucking parasite. I suck the life out of those who show me any attention. I can’t help myself. It is an addictive compulsion.

They tell me it is explained as Borderline Personality Disorder, but I call it torture. Both for me and the other person. The world would be better off without me.

Where can I find the resolve to finally commit suicide? The pain is all-consuming… overpowering… causing constant despair.

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2

39 days left

May 21st, 2017by ShiSui

I feel like jumping out of my skin today because it’s getting harder and harder to cope with my unaware narcissistic fake ***** “oh but I’m your mother I gave birth to you” mother. It takes more than giving birth to be a mother, she really was just a stupid snotty girl in an adult body raising me. Hereditary wise she’s the reason I am the way I am. That’s not why I hate her, I hate her because of the acting like an do it all angel in front of others and a fucking mentally abusive demon behind closed doors. I heard boys with …

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3

Trapped and tortured but “only temporarily”

May 20th, 2017by Velveteen Human

I seriously wonder how I can make it another two and a half months here. Today it feels like a new ulcer ripped open in my stomach. She went to a friend’s wedding (must be nice), leaving me here with the puppy all day, and it’s driving me fucking insane. I can’t color or draw because it keeps jumping on me and would mess it up, can’t read because it keeps whining and being so distracting I can’t focus… so basically any distracting and soothing activities are impossible. Let alone trying to be productive, like starting to go through my stuff to prepare for …

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2

Miserable ruminations on a wasted life, with some social commentary.

May 20th, 2017by 99hazel

I feel a little better today. Yesterday I did not feel good at all. Yesterday was like a lot of other days that I wait out. A day when I am empty and tired, when I have nothing to look forward to but death.
Imagine, if you will, that you are a woman in her early 50’s. Never married, but with a daughter from one of a few inadequate relationships with men who couldn’t commit, or couldn’t pull their own weight, or were just plain a horror show. That daughter is the one good thing in this woman’s life. The one relationship that is healthy, where …

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13

All of this struggle is for nothing..

May 20th, 2017by fally

and it’s hilarious when you think about it. all we do is to impress others. We work hard to gather money, build a decent life, keep our selves educated, sound intelligent and win every god damn conversation or stay in shape, look good, make great art, etc only impress, whether it is the opposite gender, to mate or your boss or co-worker which in the end leads to the same thing.  we do that for so long until time takes all away and leaves you alone with your flabby skin and your memories of your struggle. and time does it quick. even if you manage …

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3

relate? No. Not really.

May 19th, 2017by _lost._.one_

?

 

Why do we fear death, why do we fear the thing that will come for us all one day? Love and hate are intertwined with death, and when it grips you all emotion is lost as you flow into the interstellar’s of death. Soul and mind are empty and all thoughts are heavy. Death is powerful, wooing you into an insatiable thirst for life; for knowledge.

 

I wish that it was easier to love and to hate, I wish saying goodbye didn’t always mean forever; especially not in death. To be rid of all woo and worry, to be …

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4

“Nobody dies because they don’t have access to healthcare.”

May 18th, 2017by impossible_girl

An absolute tit of a GOP govenor said that recently, after the oh-so-wonderful United States Congress voted in a “healthcare” bill that essentially guts Medicaid (Medical Assistance).

He’s right. Nobody does. Just poor people. Mentally ill people. Disabled people. All the people who are nobody in American society. Can’t pay for your healthcare? Sorry, you don’t deserve it. Suicidal? Please, off yourself and spare us. We’ll make sure to seem appropriately sad at your funeral. Need that medication to function enough to work and earn that money? Aw, thems the breaks. See previous sentiment about being suicidal.

So you are 100% correct, you GOP stain on humanity, …

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2

exhausted

May 18th, 2017by nonserviam

i’m afraid of everything lately

i feel scared all the time

scared of falling apart, of breaking down in front of people that don’t know me like that

but i feel the need to fall apart too,

it drags me down, wears my bones and i get tired, tired, tired

i’m just so exhausted and whenever i say this,

no one seems to understand that i meant being tired of life

of everything.

i am so tired.

i feel so weak too, like i can collapse any given moment

and i feel it all the time

everyone keeps yelling at me

screaming about my grades, about my attitude, about my friends, about my habits

and whenever my lungs …

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3

january 27 – 11:47PM

I always give too much To a friend or to a lover and i cant seem to understand why my giving is never equal to what i receive and i have never felt the kind of happiness i see in their eyes on mine when i am being returned the favor They seem happier than me and […]

4

wednesday – 9:10PM

May 17th, 2017by suicidalkitty

sometimes i wish

i stayed inside my mother,

never to come out.

 

I should go now, quietly
For my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep
Where all my layers can become reeds
All my limbs can become trees
All my children can become me
Oh, what a mess I leave

1

for the sake of others

May 17th, 2017by nonserviam

i can’t think

i can’t fucking get my brains to work like how i want them to work

i can’t think and it’s affecting the rest of my body

i am crumbling, shaking, breaking

my chest hurts because my heart tries its best to keep beating when i don’t want it to

my eyes feel heavy because i deny myself the sleep i really need

i’m tired

my limbs feel weary with every step i take

i try to drag myself towards a future people say i deserve,

but do i need that?

i don’t want a future at all

i just wish to go

and still i keep myself breathing

i keep myself alive and well

what do

1

I don’t know

May 17th, 2017by lilyv943

Seriously, why do I even try?

 

All she cares about is him. As long as he’s in her life, she doesn’t care about me even though I’ve been here for her this entire time. But, I guess it’s hard to care for something you can’t see..

 

She’s all I’ve ever known. The love of a mother or a father was always scarce to me, so of course I began to grow closer to her since she basically gave me that feeling I’ve been missing out on. But, I have to face it that I was only her income. Only ever everyone’s income. She doesn’t care and I have …

0

so tired

May 17th, 2017by skullcat

To be quite honest I don’t know why I’m so tired. Exam week is over and I should be feeling relieved but I just feel as if I’m drained completely of energy. I can still function properly and all that in public but its getting harder and harder and I don’t know why. There’s this weight just hanging on me and I can’t concentrate on any of my school work at home or school.

My parents and friends haven’t noticed anything different about me so beginning to think that maybe its just all in my head and there’s nothing wrong with me.  I don’t feel comfortable …

1

What’s a soul mate?

May 17th, 2017by peachmuffin143

Can anyone tell me what a soul mate really is? I’ve been praying for signs that could point out if he’s the one that God had sent. But I can’t figure out if those signs were God’s. I’m an overthinker. So…there might be some kind of coincidences…my imagination or some sort of other factor that mixed along with the signs. How would I know if he’s the one?

13

Sweet Sleep

My life is such that the only thing I look forward to is sleep. In my dreams I am free of everything including gravity. Sweet dreams where I am hero. I awake sometimes in tears because of the simple fact that I woke up. I long for an eternal sleep. Hero forever

1

Stayed behind

May 13th, 2017by TheRoadSoFar

So, yeah, today’s my high school prom and shit, and I didn’t go. I thought it probably was the best decision I could’ve made since nobody really cares if I’m there or not. However I’m being slowly taken by a feeling of regret, which is ironic since not going was my decision and mine alone. My parents don’t even know there is a prom right now. I don’t even know anymore.

In junior high school my parents forced me into going to the prom. I absolutely hated it, and decided I wouldn’t go to another party like that. And now that I’m rotting at home I’m …