Just no. I dont even know what to say now. My girlfriend left me. My parents didn’t get me anything fir my bday. No one called. Not one person. So just as I’m about to kill myself, my mom calls me. She bitches at me for 15 mins about failing a class this quarter. I pull the trigger, nothing happens. My dad demilled the gun. There’s no firing pin. So now I’m left sitting here with my wrist gushing blood from my self injury. I don’t even want to try anymore. I want to cut my neck open and die.
Rants
I’m so sick of the bullying, harassing, teasing, laughing,
the discrimination, the name calling, the sexual comments, the torture.
Why is everyone around me is sick, suffering, in pain, and dying?
Everyone thinks they know how I feel, what I’m going through, why.
They judge my my expressions, my tone, my mood, my thoughts.
I wouldn’t mind being killed, or killing myself at any moment.
It’s like a never ending story, it’s like a living Hell.
A todos de las personas aquà en este sito. Si es importante a ti, pueden traducir este. Si no le importas, no vas a entender eso asà adiós. Uds. Son las personas mas buenas del mundo. Están mas fuerte de alguien. Se pueden vivir una vida buena y llena de feliz. Pero eso no es para mi. Mi poema de mi cumpleaños no es solo un poema. Es una nota suicida. Traté de hacer mis palabras ultimas bella pero no puedo hacerlo. Asà estoy escribiendo esto. No puedo esperar para la muerta natural. No puedo vivir mas en este mundo. No me mejoraré. Nunca va […]
Today, march 21st, is my birthday.
Today’s the day I was born on the coast
Today’s the day I loathe this life the most
Today’s the day I’ll look like everyone else, but
Today’s the day I’ll be going to hell.
Today’s the day I get sung to and cheered
Today’s the day I remember their jeers
Today’s the day when I show them their wrongs
Today’s the day when they’ll sing no more songs
Today’s the day that I take my gun out
Today’s the day I’ll turn the lights out
Today’s the day where I say goodbye
Today’s the day that I will […]
I love her with all my heart. But I hate her for doing this to me. I love her for being honest about her feelings. But I hate her for not having those feelings. I hate myself for hating her. I hate myself for loving her.
Sometimes I think I’d be better off if I’d never looked at her a second time. It’s funny how that single act of going up to her and starting a conversation, has led me to where I am now. Sometimes I think I’d be better off if we’d never met, but then I wouldn’t have enjoyed the WONDERFUL time we […]
Here I am. In bed. Listening to music. Hoping I get some thought I can keep going on with that hopefully doesn’t involve incest, joining the Army, or anything else that may cause an argument. I just don’t need to argue, I’m ignorant. I just don’t feel that it’s worth it.
I feel bad that my cousin is using me as a role model and I’m in love with her, yet she allows me to remind her constantly and she seems willing to do as I please. I understand I shouldn’t take advantage. I’m merely dwelling on it, no need to talk about that.
I […]
At one point I’ll put up a pic of myself so you all can see me. But basically I’m a half n half puertorican African American suicidally depressed self injuring 6″ tall 150 lb Afro-headed atheistic16 y.o. guy. There isn’t a thing about me people accept. Black people get stereotyped in my community, and the only Hispanics any of my neighbors know are the ones who cut their lawns. Next there’s the depression. People treat it like it’s a contagious disease. Like I’m some sort of freak for being suicidal or depressed. Then there’s the SI. Cutting n burning already are mass-comedicized. I get […]
Why bother attempting something when all it will lead to is embarrassment and worsening of the situation? When somethings fucked, you can never fix it back to 100%, so why do you try? It will never be as good as you could possibly make it.
The social problems started in middle school. Being a quiet nerd has downfalls. What’s worse was trying to break out and improve myself, only to lose the one thing I had going, which was intelligence. Giving up good marks to have a couple friends and still be bullied.
The bullying ended in 9th grade. I suppose everyone was just too weirded out by me to even […]
There are people on here that are well on into their life. There are also people here that, like me, haven’t even been here two decades. I’ve seen people die, shit I’ve almost died. Age is a lie. Just because someones 16 doesn’t mean they haven’t been through the wringer. I’m tiered of people telling me I’m “too young”. I’ve been through more in my 16 years than most do in their lives. My parents say, “you’re too young to smoke. Your too young to have problems. Your too young to have all this shit wrong with you” well fuck you guys. I may […]
My new contact information is above. This is the information you should give to law enforcement and your lawyer.
Terror was the word I used to describe my feeling of believing that you would soon be moving on from me. Terror was the word you used to describe your fear of me after I lost control of myself and tried to kill myself after sending you text message after message apologizing or stating why I thought I should die or why I thought you didn’t want to be with me(the reasons you gave were just so very untrue about myself and I thought there was no […]
So I actually woke up today not immediately thinking of suicide. Thats a first! I wanted to try focussing on studying.
Then I got a reminder. Dont forget: everybody hates you. Thanks Facebook. I should understand why though, since I despise myself.. But I actually dont. I know I´m a horrible person, but I always try to be nice to people, Im always willing to help people, I really always try to do my best.
The problem is me though. It has always been me. I never really had friends. Girls only wanted to hang out with me I guess so they looked good compared to the […]
I’m trying so hard for them. I’m trying so hard to make it through this, but there’s no reason to stay and every reason to go. The realization that no one gives a damn has struck hard this week, but then again how the hell can I expect someone else to love and care for me when I am such a horrible person. I deserve to be alone. I deserve to suffer.
Three more weeks, that’s it. Then it’ll all be over. Three more weeks of happy faces, and subtle goodbyes, then, I’m done. I didn’t realize that one could fuck so much shit up in […]
I hate sick people.  The one’s who are physically ill.
Why? Â Because people show a different kind of concern for them than for people who are ‘mentally ill’ or ‘have problems’.
The physically ill people get love, and warmth, and encouragement to get better. Â They get positivity. Â They get love.
The ‘mentally ill’ people get disgust, misunderstanding, hate, anger, and scorn. Â They are rebutted by society and only get negative feedback. Â They don’t get love. Â Instead they get shoved into a corner and hidden away, where nobody will have to see them, where nobody has to feel ashamed, because that one person isn’t ‘normal’.
Instead we get sent to see […]
i have a ghost “living” in my house. No it’s not just the wind or siblings r animals etc etc I have documented proof (videos evps etc). I’m not sure if he/she is malicious or not, but he/she likes to move my shit. Last night, I threw my razor away in the garbage after slitting my wrists. Today, I awake to find it on my dresser. N no one was home today. My parents r both out of town. And there was blood in the bottom of the waste basket where the razor hit. So it’s not just me who wants to kill myself or […]
Hi I have been here a few times and always come back to see how people are doing and add a rant from time to time. It reminds me I am not the only one and I feel for every one here.
I constantly study how I can off my self and what holds me back. To date it has been an ever shrinking group of friends that I felt I needed or was needed by.
So the truth shall set you free. The truth will also drive your friends and family away from you. The exodus of my friends is now complete.
The truth is I am […]
I am married currently but my wife is one of the main reasons im so depressed. I am extremely unhappy with her i just dont want to hurt her im not good at hurting people but i need out of the relationship its the best thing for me. Please help me idk what to do or what to say to her
Once again my head is spinning with thousands thoughts, but when i sit to write them down my mind goes blank.
I dont know how to write how i feel caus i dont really feel anything. Either nothing or pain.
I dont want to live anymore. i have known this my entire life. i want death. And if theres nothing after life thats even beter. i know i want to do this, then why is it so fucking hard to go through with it.
Two Japanese movies concerning life and death.
Suicide Club just covers a general ideas and people and Noriko’s Dinner Table gets deeper into the ideas and mainly covers a family. At first it seemed like a totally new approach but within a short time I figured out it was just a new expression of old ideas.
It was rather interesting to me for purely entertainment value as well because I own quite a few Japanese/Korean/Chinese horror/suspense movies and am used to the flow of it. May wierd some people out but if you are in the mood for something different and you have never viewed this genre, try […]
Hey, I’m Zoe. Im 15 years old. When you look at me you would think I’m happy. I have friends. A boyfriend. It’s an okay life as of now I suppose. But due to my past, I’m going through severe clinical depression. I have an addiction to cutting. I have for about 4 years. It stuck with me even when times were getting better. They put me on zoloft.
The first time I attempted suicide, I was 11. Why? I was sick of being bullied because I was overweight. So it started out with eating disorders. Bulimia. Then I started reading poetry. And writing. […]
Mainly again to the youth because their stories are just so harsh. And they usually can do nothing but be victimized because they are not old enough to legally leave, not able to sustain themselves, or the authority personnel will not or cannot help them.
Which means their lives consist of what others do to them. And they have no recourse except to just sit there and take it. Even through their efforts of trying to escape or get the situation handled better.
The reason I am aiming at the kids is that many of us adults have caused our own problems. That does not exempt us […]