Rants

10

America, a place where anything is possible, or a place where anything is possible if your rich or have a 4 year degree.

  April 8th, 2011 by maddoghalo

Well, I am 19 years old. Let me start off just about how every other story starts out. Im depressed, stressed, lost my friends, lost some family, very unhappy life, treated like shit, and being denied by the government because they are too fucking lazy to sign a waiver with proof I can handle it because it takes one extra step.

I grew up a pretty happy child, family was close, I was too young to know what was going on, basically living a normal childhood. Then a time came when the wars between mother and father started because they were divorced. Each one fighting over …

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0

just dont

  April 8th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

Today I asked myself who I am today?

Today I do not know who I am today…

Things are just no t working out in my world today…

I am definetly not myself today…. wishin’ I had some novacaine…..

My right side of my face is numb…. now a headache arises and causes more pain..

Let it all end and let me movve on in a sweet way that i may rest peacedefully but not in sleep but in death……

That I may actually enjoy…… Yes I admit I am Scared…….Of what you may ask…..

Honestly I cannot explain it but I am scared, and scarred as well……

Take the pain away and …

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0

Just kinda getting this off my chest

  April 8th, 2011 by LoveKills

Everbody needs a good rant time to time… and live journal doesn’t really help its nice when people can actually read what you have wrote and understand it instead of make fun of you

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5

who am i today???? can i survive??? :/

  April 6th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

I cant explain why I feel the way I feel. I want to cry all the time. I make excuses when I’m up past midnight. I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. I hide behind a pained smile. It fools everyone around me but they can’t truly see what I feel on the inside. I’m a good student but it doesn’t make a difference. I have no idea how to deal with the emotional turmoil that I encounter. I’ll cry a hundred times over but still nothing ever seems to change. a brand new pack of cigarettes two gone after each …

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3

Sanity is slowly slipping fom my hands now.

  April 5th, 2011 by Diamondonalandmine

I don’t know what the hell to do anymore.

Its been awhile since I’ve been on this site and actually write something down concerning my feelings that I lock away.

To start off I’m failing all my classes (apparently) and may have to do summer school, which I never havedone before.

Second off I can’t seem to get anything right anymore. Does anyone ever blank out but its very consistant? I feel like I’m slowly turning into a veggie.

I’ve been feeling under the weather lately so I am missing school, 14 days in English and Math. Math is my worse subject I literally can’t do it and this …

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7

When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep

  April 5th, 2011 by molliecellon

Hi. I stumbled across this site last night while not being able to sleep. I don’t know why I’m here, but I wanted to sign up regardless.
I’m a 19 y/o female living in a house with my mum and my brother, who is 16, in Australia. I have things that so many other people in the world do not. We have our own house, have food in the cupboards and a bedroom each. We love and support each other in our own dysfunctional ways. I see my dad regularly and have a good relationship with him.
I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was ten, …

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3

I Won’t Quit

  April 3rd, 2011 by tryingtohangon

I used to think that I should just give up and quit. To be honest, that was all of five minutes ago. I was ready to break down and die, leaving everything and everyone I tried to support alone. I mean, I was supporting my family, my boyfriend, myself, just a lot of people. I felt like the only person who even bothered to support me was God. I was ready to give up everything I had worked for and just lay down and die. Instead, I mustered up my courage and called a crisis hotline. I didn’t want them to call an ambulance (I …

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3

I’m So Tired…

  April 3rd, 2011 by tryingtohangon

I’m so tired of it all… the foolishness

Wearing a mask

Smiling on the outside

but ready to break inside

How can I hang on any longer?

I’m in so much pain

And I’m shattering

Every day

I reach out

Help me

I need help

Save me

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2

An intro to a wasted life

  April 3rd, 2011 by Curiepoint

Rant about life, the people in it who screwed me blind, and the seething hatred of all things earthly.

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1

I’m back???

  April 2nd, 2011 by RogueShadow1281

I don’t know if I feel better or not. School, I’m failing most, if not all, of my classes, but I’m happy that I finally have a girlfriend. Except I am preoccupied by the fact she’s kinda chubby. But I still love her. Lizzie, she’s still cute, but sometimes I want someone hotter, but I’m human, I think? So, my depression is almost gone, comes very rarely, but all I want to do is go with my cousin jasmine, because she has a bf now, Im worried because the idiot thinks losing your virginity with someone means you love them. He’s a guy, I’m a …

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4

Suicidal identity

  April 2nd, 2011 by GypsyGene

After reading some of the posts and comments here, I realize that this is probably the darkest, most depressing online community I’ve ever encountered. For the most part, the same small group of people post and comment pretty much every day, even several times. It got me thinking – this suicide thing becomes an identity after a while.

It’s like any other habit you identify yourself with. “Yeah, she’s that girl who only wears blue or green”. “You know, that guy? The one who always quotes Star Wars?” Excuse the gender stereotypes, but I can’t think of better examples. After several nights of thinking about giving …

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2

depression sucks…. so does inspiration

  April 1st, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

I was reading a book and then all of a sudden i get the sudden urge to cut, scream, get stupid, and do more drugs. i want to get high and live life….. i think…. i want to die…… i want to get drunk ….. i want to do all of these things just because of a fucking book. i dont know what to do!!! i wanna cut, drink, smoke, snort, smoke weed. i want to pop more pills and keep going until i can’t anymore. i want to do it all and then just DIE!!!! its like a rush that i can’t help that …

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6

i feel ready….except

  March 30th, 2011 by atmywitsend

I have been having thoughts of killing myself on/off for several years now. I have even lost my 20+ years of sobriety. I just “want to go home”. I am sick of the struggles, of the things in my past that affect me each day to the core of my being. I have spent thousands seeing several therapists, all to no avail. I am a walking robot cut off from the world about me. I am successfully employed and financially stable with loving friends and family. But nobody can understand the depths of my hell. The horror called life. I am so done. I am …

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3

One more day scratched from the calendar.

  March 30th, 2011 by Latika

He didn’t text me like he said he would. He was the one who wanted to try and remain friends, but why is it do i still feel like i am the only one fighting for this? i accepted his decision, but when i went to enforce my side of the deal, he faltered. Four years burned away by one simple crush. Four years of constant wishes for each others embrace. Yet that means nothing, nothing at all to him. “It doesn’t matter.” How can it not matter when you are the one who wont let me go? You said you didn’t want …

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5

an answer???? or just bs.

  March 29th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

SOS pads. thats where the cuts on my arm came from….. wow those work wonders??? i can clean my skin and cut too!!! yay…… im so depressed…… even with my meds in my system im still depressed. but i looked it up and it says a side effect would be suicidal thoughts. so i guess thats why. my meds are suppose to help. bu thtey dont to my parents things have gotten better but if they really knew they would know things are slowly plummiting. but for now let them think hte cat scratched me. I hate my mood swings and i hate feeling so …

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6

Want, but can’t…

  March 29th, 2011 by GypsyGene

It’s one of those mornings. I haven’t slept at all, and I should be at school. I can’t even be bothered to take a shower, despite the odor in my bedroom. I only leave my room to eat, piss, shit, or to grab a smoke. The last couple of months, I’ve been tying and untying a noose every other night. Some nights, I get as far as standing on a chair, with the damn thing around my neck, ready to jump. Then, panic and the instinct of self-preservation kicks in.

The thing is; I’m not sad. I don’t feel depressed. I don’t want to cry. I’m …

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3

dealing with the loss of my father and brother

  March 29th, 2011 by jjalkaline

the thoughts never subside, and he still haunts me.

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2

To those who think they are alone in pain.

  March 29th, 2011 by Latika

To all of you who have experienced heart ache, disappointment, abuse in multiple forms, and raised in drug centered families. I know you. Not personally, but emotionally. I was suicidal since I was  a toddler, but at that point my actions weren’t consider to be that of a depressed child. Doctors said I was just a frustrated child with pent up energy because i wanted to hurt everyone, including myself. I was too young to realize what it is i felt and why.

Growing up my dad wasn’t there, mom said he was a work-aholic, while he says she was a drug addict. Both were true. …

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1

i’m nothing

  March 28th, 2011 by seespoombah

I have been depressed since the 9th grade, and I’m 21 now. It really blows. I think about killing myself often. I honestly don’t know how I am still alive

I got in a pretty bad car accident in January, but I didn’t die. I didn’t even get hurt. I felt bad then, because the night before I had been thinking about killing myself…I didn’t do it on purpose

I’m an awful person. My therapist tells me otherwise and logically, I know it’s not true, but I can’t help believing it.

I don’t have many friends. I used to have some friends, but now I’m living at home …

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4

can i do or do i have to continue to live in this world?

  March 28th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

Can I die? Do I have to keep living in this darkened hell we call earth? Everywhere there is suffering? They suffer unwillingly. I willingly want to suffer. I want to die. I want to be in pain. It’d be another reason to take the pills I long to take bu to no avail. this pisses me offf. I don’t understand why I have to sit here and put up with everyones bullshit, I pretend to be someone I sure the hell am not. I’m not a happy fun person. I’m an antisocial lette. (If you don’t know what that is…look it up) I hate everyday …

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