Rants

2

An intro to a wasted life

  April 3rd, 2011 by Curiepoint

Rant about life, the people in it who screwed me blind, and the seething hatred of all things earthly.

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1

I’m back???

  April 2nd, 2011 by RogueShadow1281

I don’t know if I feel better or not. School, I’m failing most, if not all, of my classes, but I’m happy that I finally have a girlfriend. Except I am preoccupied by the fact she’s kinda chubby. But I still love her. Lizzie, she’s still cute, but sometimes I want someone hotter, but I’m human, I think? So, my depression is almost gone, comes very rarely, but all I want to do is go with my cousin jasmine, because she has a bf now, Im worried because the idiot thinks losing your virginity with someone means you love them. He’s a guy, I’m a …

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4

Suicidal identity

  April 2nd, 2011 by GypsyGene

After reading some of the posts and comments here, I realize that this is probably the darkest, most depressing online community I’ve ever encountered. For the most part, the same small group of people post and comment pretty much every day, even several times. It got me thinking – this suicide thing becomes an identity after a while.

It’s like any other habit you identify yourself with. “Yeah, she’s that girl who only wears blue or green”. “You know, that guy? The one who always quotes Star Wars?” Excuse the gender stereotypes, but I can’t think of better examples. After several nights of thinking about giving …

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2

depression sucks…. so does inspiration

  April 1st, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

I was reading a book and then all of a sudden i get the sudden urge to cut, scream, get stupid, and do more drugs. i want to get high and live life….. i think…. i want to die…… i want to get drunk ….. i want to do all of these things just because of a fucking book. i dont know what to do!!! i wanna cut, drink, smoke, snort, smoke weed. i want to pop more pills and keep going until i can’t anymore. i want to do it all and then just DIE!!!! its like a rush that i can’t help that …

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6

i feel ready….except

  March 30th, 2011 by atmywitsend

I have been having thoughts of killing myself on/off for several years now. I have even lost my 20+ years of sobriety. I just “want to go home”. I am sick of the struggles, of the things in my past that affect me each day to the core of my being. I have spent thousands seeing several therapists, all to no avail. I am a walking robot cut off from the world about me. I am successfully employed and financially stable with loving friends and family. But nobody can understand the depths of my hell. The horror called life. I am so done. I am …

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3

One more day scratched from the calendar.

  March 30th, 2011 by Latika

He didn’t text me like he said he would. He was the one who wanted to try and remain friends, but why is it do i still feel like i am the only one fighting for this? i accepted his decision, but when i went to enforce my side of the deal, he faltered. Four years burned away by one simple crush. Four years of constant wishes for each others embrace. Yet that means nothing, nothing at all to him. “It doesn’t matter.” How can it not matter when you are the one who wont let me go? You said you didn’t want …

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5

an answer???? or just bs.

  March 29th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

SOS pads. thats where the cuts on my arm came from….. wow those work wonders??? i can clean my skin and cut too!!! yay…… im so depressed…… even with my meds in my system im still depressed. but i looked it up and it says a side effect would be suicidal thoughts. so i guess thats why. my meds are suppose to help. bu thtey dont to my parents things have gotten better but if they really knew they would know things are slowly plummiting. but for now let them think hte cat scratched me. I hate my mood swings and i hate feeling so …

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6

Want, but can’t…

  March 29th, 2011 by GypsyGene

It’s one of those mornings. I haven’t slept at all, and I should be at school. I can’t even be bothered to take a shower, despite the odor in my bedroom. I only leave my room to eat, piss, shit, or to grab a smoke. The last couple of months, I’ve been tying and untying a noose every other night. Some nights, I get as far as standing on a chair, with the damn thing around my neck, ready to jump. Then, panic and the instinct of self-preservation kicks in.

The thing is; I’m not sad. I don’t feel depressed. I don’t want to cry. I’m …

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3

dealing with the loss of my father and brother

  March 29th, 2011 by jjalkaline

the thoughts never subside, and he still haunts me.

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2

To those who think they are alone in pain.

  March 29th, 2011 by Latika

To all of you who have experienced heart ache, disappointment, abuse in multiple forms, and raised in drug centered families. I know you. Not personally, but emotionally. I was suicidal since I was  a toddler, but at that point my actions weren’t consider to be that of a depressed child. Doctors said I was just a frustrated child with pent up energy because i wanted to hurt everyone, including myself. I was too young to realize what it is i felt and why.

Growing up my dad wasn’t there, mom said he was a work-aholic, while he says she was a drug addict. Both were true. …

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1

i’m nothing

  March 28th, 2011 by seespoombah

I have been depressed since the 9th grade, and I’m 21 now. It really blows. I think about killing myself often. I honestly don’t know how I am still alive

I got in a pretty bad car accident in January, but I didn’t die. I didn’t even get hurt. I felt bad then, because the night before I had been thinking about killing myself…I didn’t do it on purpose

I’m an awful person. My therapist tells me otherwise and logically, I know it’s not true, but I can’t help believing it.

I don’t have many friends. I used to have some friends, but now I’m living at home …

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4

can i do or do i have to continue to live in this world?

  March 28th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

Can I die? Do I have to keep living in this darkened hell we call earth? Everywhere there is suffering? They suffer unwillingly. I willingly want to suffer. I want to die. I want to be in pain. It’d be another reason to take the pills I long to take bu to no avail. this pisses me offf. I don’t understand why I have to sit here and put up with everyones bullshit, I pretend to be someone I sure the hell am not. I’m not a happy fun person. I’m an antisocial lette. (If you don’t know what that is…look it up) I hate everyday …

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2

a new day…. but the same shit

  March 28th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

So i thought things would be so much better after all that crap from last week but its gotten a bit worse. this morning i woke up with scratches on my arms and i have no idea where they came from. and everything is all just going to hell for me. Everything is just the same as it was last week. i really dont kow anymore.

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2

Rants from the end of my rope

  March 28th, 2011 by WhyamIsober

What does one do

When they hate who they are

With every second that passes

I loath myself more and more

It’s frustrating as fuck

I’m dead inside

Mindlessly going through the motions

The feeling inside of me has turned into actual pain

I’m going mad

I thought I could handle it

At first I ignored it

Now I just ache

What kind of sick fucking cycle have I stumbled into

I have a noose in my closet

But when I look at it all I can think of is the people I would hurt

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4

Welcome to nowhere fast.

  March 28th, 2011 by Melancholia

Nothing here ever lasts.

I keep forgetting why I write on this website. I do it and automatically regret it. I do it because sometimes I need to rant in a public place that is still private. I want others to read what I write. That won’t happen in my journal. At least, I hope not.

Things with him have been going bad and good. I can’t imagine leaving him. Not one bit. I will be so unhappy. So so so so so so so so so so unhappy. My step-dad continuously talks about hooking me up with other people once we move up to Iowa with him. He doesn’t seem …

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1

Dehumanization

  March 24th, 2011 by War and Peace

In early January I decided it was about time I get myself into post-secondary but I had to start with upgrading. This was discussed with my employer and I registered for school but due to a miss-communication I was left without a sustainable amount of hours. In light of the events and having $5000 cash on hand I decided I would move out of my town and into the city so I could be closer to school and have better opportunities for work.

My first month in the city an uninsured driver cut me off and totaled my car, leaving me without transportation in -40*C, I …

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5

…..:(

  March 24th, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

stupid ***** from school wsa talking about me in front of me to her friends in my english class. i wasnt doing anything but minding my own business. i was so pissed and my mom came into my school today to talk to my administrator. i feel like crying im so pissed off and im shaking i mean ya i took my meds but im still pissed off. Yesterday when i was waitng fo rmy bus she started cussing at me because her brother was served with papers. Im so fed up i feel ike crying and im ready to go home. i feel like …

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3

…im fed up with everyone’s bull s**t!!!!!

  March 23rd, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

so now that title says alot well heres some more. i cant take it anymore. i was so pissed off last night that i didnt even eat dinner, im starting to skip meals and all kinds of stuff ya my parents are worried about me big deal. i wish i had a way out. im ready to give up.

anyone know what to do??? ugh:(

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5

My story

  March 22nd, 2011 by straywolf

Well I obviously hate my life… I go back and forth between the thought of committing suicide and the thought of running away. I’d rather run away but I have nowhere to go and nothing to follow… so I guess the only option I have is to kill myself.

It’s nothing spontaneous, I’ve felt suicidal for the past 5-6 years of my life… since the time my brother got sick and died. He was 14 years older than me and was in the military. At that time he was around 20 yrs old, I was very little. One day he just fainted at work and after …

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6

i need him…..i think… damn the agony

  March 22nd, 2011 by pshychotic_lette

he was the one guy i could talk to, the one guy i felt safe with. I can’t stand the t hought of him being with someone else. Things just seem to spin out of control when his name shows up on my caller i.d. or a text message. He held me when i was upset and now i have no one. i don’t feel safe not even in my own home let alone in my own mind. i have bruises everywhere andscars on my wrists. he doesn’t know about them  atleast i dont think he does. if he does he hasnt said so. i cant …

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