Hey all. Up until 5 days ago, I cut myself every night. I decided I need to stop. It was not helping anymore, and it was becomming a huge problem. or should I say it is a big problem. yeah.. yeah it is. Today I couldnt help myself. I cant cope with reality. I feel like we have no purpose. We are born, we die. There is nothing to live for. Im lost in the universe. Im just afraid of what is and what there could be. And all the shit going on in my life. Moving, parents divorce, alcoholic dad, annoying sisters. no one […]
Rants
Hello all. I’ve finally found a place where I won’t be judged, ridiculed, harassed, or viewed as a freak. I’m 17 years old, my name is Zach. I come from an affluent family, I live in a nice house in suburbia. Any other details are unimportant, so I’ll leave them out. All of my life, I’ve gotten everything that I’ve ever wanted. Toys, games, gadgets, you name it I could have it. I’m sure that some of you resent me already, but you know that were all here for the same reason. I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore, the only […]
I texted one my of my “friends” this morning, even though I was mad at him because he can’t seem to ever find time for me. Â He doesn’t respond to texts, never calls me even when he says he will, and those rare times he does manage to call me he can never seem to stay on the phone long, always something like “oh my friend is here” or “my ride is here.” Â I was hoping that maybe he could somehow find time to call me today. Â After I text him he tries to call me but since I’m in class I can’t answer it, […]
right im 22, i live in england and this is my story.
i met the girl of my dreams and we fell in love and after 8 years she is leaving me
i just dont know what todo anymore i feel like my whole life has just been flushed away and im losing everything. iv gave so much up for her and now im having to start all over again. originally i lived in newcastle then i had to move to london with my parents and i had to start over again and there i made friends and stuff then a few years later i met this girl […]
Hello everyone,
My name is Chris and I am 21 years old. You most likely won’t read this. Like most of you, I’ve been entertaining thoughts of death to myself very highly lately. I’ll post my story in which most of you will probably call me ungrateful, selfish or something and I’ll take it. Honestly, I’ve had a pretty good life even as a kid but I knew there was always something wrong in my head or something. I remember at the age of 7, my window guard falling out and looking out that window and just thinking to myself as a little kid,” I should […]
So I’ve ended up isolating myself socially, to some extent. I stopped going to work, and I stopped being honest with the people who actively try to make me feel better. I just say that I’m okay, although I don’t really know how I feel. I try not to think, because when I start doing just that, I remember how much of a failure I am, and that I really should just end it. And that’s the only form of solace I’ve got. “Well, it might be bad, but I could always kill myself, so it’s okay I guess”.
I don’t really want to tell anyone […]
i want to disappear, forever. it’s been a year, the most agonizing and painfully slow year of my life. i should be better, but i’m not.
recently, i was admitted into a psychiatric unit as an inpatient. i was on suicide watch. they locked me in a room and had a police guard sitting outside my door. then i was diagnosed with depression and borderline personality disorder. i had to call my mom. she cried. it hurt.
i cut. i hate myself. i hate my elephant body. i count calories meticulously, but i also go on terrible binges. i purge. my sad bouts get progressively worse. i […]
No idea what to put as the title, so oh well.
I’m not 100% sure why I’m posting stuff up here, but sometimes, when you know you can’t go into it with anyone else, it just becomes a “What the heck, why not?” moment.
Now, just for a summary of things, I’m 23. I’m not prone to depression as a relative mental issue, nor am I prone to actual suicidal considerations or tendencies. The last time I even had a properly suicidal thought was in my mid teens, during a period in my life when everything was going completely in the dumper, after a half decade of […]
I know I haven’t posted in a while and that’s because I didn’t have anything to say. Now I have something to say. And it’s about the loveliest of creatures – a mother. I just got done talking to mine a bit ago, no, I wasn’t talking, she was. And that’s part of the problem. She talks and I don’t. She wants me to talk though. This sounds like it would be easily solved, but I feel like it’s not that easy. You see, my mom is not that interesting to me. That’s a horrible thing to say, but it’s pretty true. We’re just so […]
Crying, I sat on the edge of my bed. 4 guys texting me, but all they wanted was sex. Â Surely I’d be used to it by now. I’m not a human to them, I’m a toy, easily replaced.
Hi, I’m a 16 year old girl. In a way, I feel average. I think every teenager goes through this depression of feeling unloved, unwanted, and ultimately rejected. I feel like I can’t handle it. Walking through school, i can hear kids whispering, “gross” “i hear she smokes pot” “You remember the time she farted in 4th period? so gross” “slut” “smells like poor”….. i could go on. […]
I am so frustrated and heartbroken right now. My poor little dog is 14 and I took him to a new groomer today. He was absolutely fine before he left, but when I picked him up he was crying and limping. I thought ok give it an hour because he might be stressed out and his arthritis might be acting up. Well when we got home I noticed how swollen he was. Shortly there after his back leg went completely lame and he cant walk at all. I called the vet and they couldn’t get him in, she suggested the emergency vet or to take him in […]
I thought I knew my husband, but it’s clear I don’t have a freaking clue who he is. We’ve been together 10 years, married 9 and I don’t know this man. He’s been keeping secrets, and I think probably has from the beginning.
A bit of background, mainly for me…I’m trying to makes sense of nonsense. He’s from Nigeria, a doctor, I’m white from the US and a nurse. We got set up on a blind date. Married 5 months later. Me stupidly thinking he loved me. Almost immediately he takes a trip to Nigeria, for over a month, over the next 4 years he probably […]
it has been months since i last cut. I just Did it again , this time i was in the tub . I loved watching the blood flow off of my wrist, then pour into the milky water. It is as i am cutting to make a point to my self . I want me to know that being depressed is not a good thing and the pain is the punishment . I like the punishment , i like the pain . I like to see the scars on my wrist . It reminds us that the past is real and that is something i care for. […]
The more I know the less I know. I truly know nothing. Life is about living outside one’s self, the world is greater than your perception of it, I know this, believe it, feel it, yet I still feel numb. I feel guilty for what I have and resentful for what I don’t. I’m in constant contradiction. I just cannot fill the void that’s inside me. I know deep down I’m blessed, seeing others, knowing and feeling what others go through only makes me feel lesser than what I am. I’m stuck in thought and just fail to progress. This to shall pass, but is […]
I don’t know who I am, really. I don’t understand myself at times. Sometimes I think about diagnosis too much. Try to fit myself into a label. But the truth is, I’m a human being. I shouldn’t care about ‘what’ I am, I should care more about who I am. So what I lack some things most people have? For most part, I’m just as human as you are. I might be a little more logical than most of you, I tend to only use intellect and not emotions. I might be into some stuff most of you find weird (true crime, for example). But […]
I guess I’ll open up my story, for whoever wants to read i guess. For the past years, i have been in such a long term depression. (on & off.) I’ve never ever been truly happy, for no less than 2 weeks or to where I didn’t even know what sad was anymore. It’s actually the other way around, i feel like i can’t even tell what happiness is. Ever since i was born, my dad was a big alcoholic. Always came home with a brown bag of liquor after work, and always stayed in his room. Telling my siblings and I, that he was […]
I have been alive for a little over 15 years  now.  I’ve laughed countless times, smiled the majority of my life, and cried when it seemed appropriate.  Yet I’ve rarely done any of these with emotion.  I’ve been alive for over a decade and a half but I can’t think of a single time when I was truly living.
I started to realize that I was empty, and that emptiness was suffocating.  It was a tangible force, crushing me to the ground like gravity.  I wanted to feel something…  maybe love or at even agony, just anything but this hollowness inside of me.  I want to be able to […]
Last night I crashed.
Isn’t it funny.
The higher you are.
The harder you fall.
No one was home.
No one saw.
When the water burned.
Leaving trails of red.
I used to tell him.
Now he doesn’t care.
I think it scared him.
I can’t ask.
He’s gone.
Well I have tried killing myself. I’ve slit my wrists, arms, legs, stomach, fingertips. I don’t want an identity. I have burned off my fingerprints but they grew back, no matter how many times I burned them off.
I don’t consider myself human.
I’m an alien.
I’m a redhead that lives in a small town full of Mexicans. I don’t hate them, I love my friends. But I’m an alien. I’m from mars and other people like me (gingers) are the reason why mars is red. I had to learn to make fun of myself at a very young age in order to live in this hellhole-of-a-town.
I’ve held a […]
well, its been a year today since i have started feeling suicidal and depressed, i wanted to end it so bad teh other day but for some reason i want to keep holding on, i dont know y people r posting valentines day greeting on this cite, there is nothing ot love about the world or the people in the wirld, we are a hopeless and pathetic race andi cant wait for the world to end on december 21st. i have a valentine but only because i didnt want to say no and hurt him. i am sad and depressed as ever… but something is […]