Rants

3

Thoughts

  October 25th, 2010 by Anna

On occasion, my state of mind is regarded- commented upon- by persons that I know, and too my choices of literature and music find their way into the analysis of someone who is neither a doctor nor a psychologist, but merely somebody that I have known. I am told at these times that what I choose to read, watch, listen to ‘probably doesn’t help’ to lift my spirits or prevent me from contemplating what purpose I am serving by merely existing, or as to whether ending my life would grant me any more respite than the closeness of the dark does at the end of …

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8 years ago • General, Rants

0

You get better at dealing with pain.

  October 21st, 2010 by quitemad

I hate telling you how much easier it gets after some time.
I hate it because of how meaningless and trite it sounds compared to the gravity behind the emotions. Cutting allowed me to remind myself that I was calm, capable, and in control sometimes. The scars are still there. Most of you are tough as nails but won’t ever admit it. Maybe you already have and that’s why you’re still here. It doesn’t really matter why you’re still here. Just stay for a while. Get some sleep. Grab something to eat and drink all your water. Survive. Shut out the pain. You’re going to have …

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8 years ago • General, Rants

3

Daydreams/comtemplations

  October 18th, 2010 by RogueShadow1281

So, I’m tired of life. All I do is daydream because life is so dull. I feel like I fucked up my life and my brain. I have depression, my stepmom/stepbitch (as i like to call her) is a *****, my dads a moron, my brother’s annoying and my friends are more like enemies. I fell in love with this perfect girl since 3rd grade and would think about her all the time. she rejected me on myspace. it devastated me. i tried marijuana and theres a chance it fucked my brain up, maybe im just paranoid. now i sit and dream as i stare …

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8 years ago • General, Rants, Stories of Loss

2

WE ARE ALL COMMITING SUICIDE

  October 16th, 2010 by LittleLisaMassacre

NO MATTER WHAT YOUR DOING IN LIFE WETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT WE ARE ALL DYING OF SUICIDE WE ALL DO THINGS THAT CAUSES US TO DIE WETHER ITS IN A LONG PERIOD OF TIME OR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME SOME OF US JUST WANNA GO QUIKER THAN OTHERS

WHILE IM ON HERE TYPING I DONT UNDERSTAND ALL OF YOU WITH YOUR I WANNA DIE WITH NO PAIN NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY AND KILL YOURSELF ITLL HURT CAUSE YOU AND YOUR BRAIN WILL TELL YOUR BODY ITLL HURT SO YOU CANT GO THE WONG WAY WITH ANY SUICIDE ITLL ALL TURN OUT LIKE …

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8 years ago • Rants

6

It’s all the doctor’s fault

  October 9th, 2010 by ImTired

When I was younger I thought that physicians were like God.  They seemed to know everything and there was nothing they could not fix or cure.

Then I grew up.  Doctors are nothing but very well pain morons who know nothing; they are anything but like God.  They give people false hope that all will be okay, all the while thinking about their big pay check while I am in pain and severe distress.

Time to go to sleep and forget these useless beings called Doctors.

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8 years ago • General, Rants

1

Rant 01

  October 8th, 2010 by FuckTheWorld .

It basically started with Him . A wayward mother & her three year old bastard of a daughter . Leaving everything behind, just throwing it all away . & making the biggest mistake a mother ( or at least mine ) could ever make .

How could she marry Him ? I was three years old & I cried at their wedding . I didn’t want it to happen . I didn’t want another douche bag of a father . & exactly that he was . The abuse , Manipulation, lies , drugs , You coward . How could you do that

…

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8 years ago • Rants

1

As Usual.

  October 8th, 2010 by Fm.Luv.2.Hate

i hate u. i hate myself. in fact, i hate the entire f’ing world. so wat? why should u care? u shouldnt..but u shouldnt pity me either. i dont need a worthless emotion that makes me crawl back into my shell..i dont need ur look of hurt when i say a lie or tell u tat i dont need ur help or that im fine. wat  i need is blood…not that im creeper for blood but i need the calmness tat i get after i feel that pain and ripping of my skin into tiny nonexistent pieces.  i need this feeling to

…

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8 years ago • Rants

4

Worth a shot

  October 7th, 2010 by K.luker1655

Seems strange at my age to be at a site like this, at 13 I was told it would pass, simply grow out of it. Instead hear I sit as I always have late in the night, pondering the “yes or no” question of tomorrow. I’ve toured around this site and seen alot of young writers out there scratching at this same itch and it has pained me. I wouldn’t doubt that most here would agree its a state of mind one would not wish on their worst enemy.

So in my hopes to help at least a single person out there with my experience I …

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8 years ago • General, Rants, Suicidal Survivors

1

Too Tired.

  October 4th, 2010 by Kiyi

Just when I thought I was coming back up, back up from that deep dark hole, I realize that, no, I’m not. Now I’m even further down, and you know what? I don’t think I want back up anymore. Why bother. I’ll just be pushed back down, eventually. It’s so much easier down here. No pain, no sadness, no disappointment.

I’m not an idiot. I know how to end it as painlessly as possible, I’m just surprised I haven’t done it yet. Well, dehydration is my main route at the moment. Pretty sure if I really put some effort in, I’d be done in a week. …

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8 years ago • Rants

4

It’s nice to know…

  October 4th, 2010 by Darby

that there are other people like me out there. I wake up and try and get through the day as best I can, but I feel as though it’s all aiming towards nothing. My outlook on life is bleak – it sounds like generic “I’m depressed” shit.. but hey, I guess I’m another generically depressed person. Death is on my mind constantly, I feel like being alive is the most selfless thing I can possibly do, because I know I’m not alive because I want to be. I’m alive because I can’t bear the thought of hurting everyone, or someone I love having to find …

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8 years ago • General, Rants

4

Just need to let it out.

  October 4th, 2010 by cls

Wow. I don’t even know where to begin. This will be the first time that I’ve let out everything that’s been going on with me for the past few years. I hope what I say makes sense; I’ll do my best to make it as comprehendible as possible, but please bear with me because it’s a lot to let out, and I’ve never done anything like this.

To begin, I’m a Junior in Highschool. Female. Towards the second half of 8th grade, I became bulimic. I’m not sure how that happened. I was never overweight. I was thin, but not stick thin. I didn’t suffer from …

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8 years ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

9

Someone help me

  October 3rd, 2010 by loreildarksky

This might take a while, but it’s a lot I have to deal with (though I know it’s not as much as some people).

I’m a sophomore in high school, wondering if I should kill myself. I’ve tried before, but every time I failed, sometimes because I couldn’t do it fast enough before someone came in and stopped me.

I know I have so much going for me, but all of it is also the reason I want to die sometimes. I’m on the swim team, one of three things that I truly love. But sometimes everything else makes it too hard for me to even function …

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8 years ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

0

Here’s my problem

  October 3rd, 2010 by nodefinition

Everyday is different for me, one day I’m okay, the next I can’t imagine living another day. I’ve thought about this for quite some time, years now actually and found that what I lack is hope. I crave some sort of love and intimacy in my life, at times I have it and sometimes, like recently, I get my heart stepped on.

I didn’t understand how worthless I must be to deserve it, or be subjected to this ‘situation’  by her I guess. I didn’t see a way to recover from the pain, or even a another prospective girl to take her place. Without hope, my …

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8 years ago • General, I Will Survive, Rants

3

life is great, i jst dnt think its for me

  September 28th, 2010 by Ren

i wish i could be somewhere els , i really want to be happy iv tryed for so long ,im only young but i’v been through so much and its stupid coss i dont want to be that depressed girl anymore i love haveing fun but at the end of the day , happyness fades and reality kick’s in .
i have no friends , only 2 members of my familey actually talk to me . iv been raped beaten by guys , heart broken bullied for what i look like . every day is the same . i dont want to die i just want …

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8 years ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, I Will Survive, Poetry & Art, Rants, Stories of Loss

14

No Easy Answers…

  September 20th, 2010 by Shelly

Okay so everyone always wants to know what my problem is, why I feel this way or why I seem totally unable to make things better. But for fucks sake they don’t know me, or my history, so they’re in no position to judge! The fact is if they did, they’d probably understand why I want to die as badly as I do. And trust me it’s such a long, sordid and sad story that half the time I wouldn’t even know where to start or how to explain. Sometimes I look at the way my life has turned out and it makes me fume with …

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8 years ago • Rants

3

mine to decide

  September 16th, 2010 by tish

I am facing the fact That death by suicide is possibly going to be the way I leave this world. It’s not a snap  decision and doesn’t even feel like a choice. Just from an exhaustion in every level of my being. Was it the build up of traumas physical and emotional over the last few years in particular? Or was the 13 year old me all those years ago wise when she thought she would only make it to her 30’s before getting tired. Is this a phase or is this the end ?My physical pain from fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and hellish depression and …

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8 years ago • General, Rants

2

Crescent shaped Cuts on the palms of my hands

  September 16th, 2010 by Acid_hagar

Something in her eyes, the way she likes to cry

must be the smoke in my lungs

tear up and watch me burn

I feel like its okay I feel so good today

dizzy me,your so easy to entertain

I smiled at the way you laughed like this was a joke

I’m a failure when I fall

the worlds no pleasure I feel so small

fetal fusion on the wall

I tried to please her

she watched me fall, romance me burned

smoked out smoked away I feel so much better

something in you strikes a chord

I feel like you watch me

watch me burn, warn me soon

the fires cold, so cold im burned

If I made you cry …

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8 years ago • Family & Friends Effects, Poetry & Art, Rants

7

I dont want to be here

  September 15th, 2010 by Acid_hagar

i am 15.  i dont know where to begin. i just cant take anymore. i dont feel like it is worth it to try so hard for nothing. My mom, it just seems like no matter how hard i try for her or how much i work to make things right im always wrong. im always fucking up over and over again. and just when i feel like things might get better they fall down. i feel alone. even the people i though were close to me dont want to listen to me. thats all i want. is for someone to listen to me. for …

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8 years ago • Rants

1

This is just a True story

  September 15th, 2010 by 18th floor balcony

So I lived in a foster home for all of my life…I remember the day when I was sent there with my brothers and sister…I was scared…I thought my mother gave me away…

Things were never good after that…There were children in the homes with me…Some times they would make me do things with them…I to be honest cant tell if it was rape or not…because they were not much older then me…maybe they we nine and I was like six or seven…But Kids shouldnt know about that stuff…

Anyways…

My mother was a horrible one…she didn’t call for over a year…Maybe it was to hard for her…I …

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8 years ago • Rants, Stories of Loss

2

I don’t know how to cope.

  September 13th, 2010 by sakura_haruko

I’ve been hurt too much in my past. Especially by people I’ve loved, and people I’ve cared about.

I’ve been abused in all sorts of ways both physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I was abandoned by my parents, for not being smart enough, for not being popular enough, for not being like them; just because I’m the black sheep of the family. My so called best friends aren’t even always there for me, especially when they know that I depend on them like family. Especially R, she never seems to care when it’s important. And B doesn’t even care about me enough to want me in her life …

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8 years ago • General, Rants

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