..it hurts to know that my parents to this day, control my actions like I’m 10. They refuse to understand anything about me. I’ve worked hard for my money, and yet my mother stays in my business about it. She is upset with me because I bought my girlfriend an inexpensive tablet for her birthday, that I even made my girlfriend refund me $40 of the $95 back because I knew my mom would question my purchase and why I gave it to my girlfriend. She told me I’m irresponsible, greedy, and selfish because I’m saving my money to pay for my next semester of […]
Rants
I was raised to be an honor student.. for all of elementary i was a ummm bookworm.. i was happy wit who i was and i was a bright kid.. i loved my family and all my frends.. but my life jst crashed completely wen i started 6th grade.. i was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and a bipolar disorder.. then 1 day i mouthed off to my mom afterr all da stress i got from da disorders.. nd she screamed out dat i wasnt her daughter.. turns out shez my step mom.. my mom died of cancer wen i was 3 yrs old nd […]
I really don’t know how to start this, never done a post site. Kinda weirded out, but i know i need to share my story with people other than my friends and family.
I am 20 years old and ever since i was a little kid i have always told myself i will die young, to this day i still do. Never seen myself in the future passed age 25. Whenever my family and people ask me, ” where do you see yourself in 30 years, or 40 years? ” i just sit there and think should i tell them ” i see myself dead, never […]
I had an argument with my father today, so I went to a park very close to me to ‘cool’ down. It’s a very small park (if you can even call it a park) with a large pond. The pond was frozen, there were a lot of small children ice-skating and stuff. I just stood there in the middle of the pond looking apathic. Nobody noticed me, they were all too busy having fun to notice a freak standing in the middle of the pond not moving at all. I secretly fantasized about undressing, laying down on the ice and freezing to death. Or making […]
i am a young mother. i lost my mom when i was 17. i had my son when i was 19. i love him and his father so much . we all live together. but life has been sooo…. messed up and it hurts me so much. i constantly battle with myself over everything. yes i have depression. and it doesnt help me being told i need to be fucking medicated, all the time. my dad disowned me. banished me from his life and my little brothers. i dont do anything. i recently moved to a city where i have no one. i cant talk […]
Hn. An unprecedented complication arose and my attempt, which I was supposed to carry out last Tuesday (the 31st) has been postponed a couple of days. Argh. If the people from the halfway house I went to knew about this, they’d be all up on my arse about how ‘god made it so’ and that ‘this was the work of divine intervention’ blah blah blah. Laughable. Anyway.
I’m trying to clear this little problem as fast as I can. I absolutely CANNOT be still alive after the 20th. That’d just be cutting it close. Once I go beyond that, it’d be very hard to keep everyone […]
Oh well, everyone seems to post their life-story on here, so why not.
School
My first memories are from when I was about 2 or maybe 3 (this is extraordinary, I know). At daycare they thought I was weird, other children wouldn’t play with me. They hated me. First year at elementary school was about the same, as was the second year. I had to redo the second year, but that school couldn’t handle me. I went to another school, which could handle me, at least, it could for a few years. I had a very nice teacher. Then the next year I got another teacher, […]
Hey. So I’m 14, and I think something’s up with me. What’s the definition for the term crazy? And not the version for kids. Lyk, I’m super obsessive. I know that’s just OCD.. No biggie.. . I’m different from everyone. I have pink hair n snakebites and wear contacts a lot because my eyes are brown n I hate the color brown. That’s another reason why mie hair is pink.
Iv also NEVER had a bf, let along any guy friends. I don’t know why. 🙁 I don’t consider myself day and neither do any of my friends. Pimples don’t cover my face. Iv never […]
This is my first posting on here.. Oh wow, I don’t even know where or how to start. Just gonna wing it..
I am 26 years old and living a miserable life inside my miserable home in miserable Phoenix, AZ. Actually I have been very fortunate.. I have a great family and they may be, in part, why I am still here. My parents have given me all the tools I could ever want to succeed in life, but I do nothing except throw them out the window it seems. Anyway, amidst some legal trouble, relationship trouble, unemployment trouble, and really just troubles in life, […]
Well hmm. First off I mainly want people to give their opinions about this. If you don’t want to read a rant move on.
Certainly I can do without living for me it’s fairly easy, sure at times I get depresses but over all I am un effected by my doings because I see life as a game to be played rather than something for people to worry about because the main thing is life to me is “destiny” but this word is far from a good definition to me. I will cruelly say that the people who write on this are fun to laugh at […]
School is almost the day after tomorrow. I haven’t finished my homework and I am stressing.
Yesterday I fell into a random little depressed state where I couldn’t sleep or speak to anyone. This morning my sister went to the family counselor about her cycling coach who ended up being a perverted pedophile. She’s now pressing charges. While they were gone I was lying in bed thinking. I was thinking about what would happen if I overdosed while they were out or if I cut my wrists and didn’t stop bleeding until I was dead. The urge was the greatest it had been in a while.
I […]
I want to share my story, it will take a while but the details are important. It’s a long one. I left some things out, like my utterly deranged sexuality. I hope that someone out there will read this and know that they really don’t have it so bad.
I live in the shadow of my past.
I was not abused, none of my family or friends have died, I am privileged and well off financially. My mom left my dad when I was 3, he was an abusive alcoholic.
I am attractive, intelligent, clever, creative, witty, inventive, all that good stuff. Despite all these things, I am […]
This is going to be more of a rant really. Knowing me, a long(-ish?) post. My apologies (If anyone even goes on to read this) for probably many clichés and awful English. Apparently I’m a fairly good writer. Pah, I wonder who’d still think that after reading my journals? No, I think that people on here and around me are just kinder than I deserve. My friends deserve so much more than me (I’m sorry…).
But yeah, ‘what a surprise’. Choose to die. Fail. Find more reliable ways to die. Fail. Set a date: 101252. Ooh, what a shocker – fail. What’s my freaking problem this time? […]
I cannot blame her.for what she did. Any normal person would have done so. And I did not get locked up for it so it was not too bad. But she was rather sneaky with it. She invited me to dinner supposedly with someone she wanted to ‘fix me up with”. Course I told her my interest in that waned years ago. Still she insisted that at least give the woman a chance because supposedly she was into a lot of the things I was.
Went to dinner earlier this week and it went okay, Her ‘friend’ asked a lot of questions. I should have seen […]
Hey I am 22 (just turned) male from UK. Basically I am stuck in life. I never leave  the house because I have nowhere to go, I have no friends and nobody to talk to every single day, including weekends. I am currently looking for work and have never had a job yet (been looking 2 & 1/2 years). I am done with education as its neve rgot me anywhere and I can not receive funding to do what I even want to do.
I am stuck in life, I have no future and no friends, no girlfriend, no place of my own, no transport, no money. I have nothing, […]
For over a year now I have been writing a short suicide note that has turned into 11 pages long. I will not bore you with the whole thing but I will post the things that have bothered me for the last year. See if any of this seems familiar.
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This is really getting ridiculous; I have been working on this suicide note for over a year.
The final day I intend to act on this, I will contact the bank and cancel all future payments to all my creditors. Done as of Dec 21, 2011
I assign my sister Janice as executor of my estate and may […]
I try not to put myself down so much or so badly. But it doesn’t work. I am just so frustrated.
I am my worst enemy and need to get rid of myself, for my own sake.
Kind of wish I could catch aids or have cancer that way when I end me then I don’t have to try and explain why, it would be more like, “oh, she had aids. That’s why she killed herself”
why do I let you hurt me? It dosent make any sense you’ve told me you don’t want to be together and that killed me on the inside, but as soon as you text or call I’m willing to take you back. Why do I let you hurt me? All you do is leave again you don’t care to stay I even doubt that you really love me. But this time no no matter what I will not let you hurt me again I can’t handle it any more I’m done for good.
The internet is a most practical thing for me and I am sure others if any are similar.
Not really social anxiety but more so just preference for solitude has been with me my whole life.  Not a problem to mesh with others, just felt like I was in the wrong place.Â
The noise, the physical contact/attention/affection desired by some of them, the seeming need for some of them to always have something to say every moment, the preference some had to always have to be around you for their own security.Â
May just have been the wrong people but from family to everyone else in my life that […]
Had a dream about another random girl generated in my head that may have been someone I saw at school. All that i can say about her is that she was really cute all around and she liked me and she seemed about 1-3 years younger than me.Â
I was sitting, waiting for my 4th period class and I wasn’t doing anything when the dream began. Someone pointed out to me that some girl wanted to talk to me. I saw a girl sitting with her friend and her friends boyfriend. She had straight brown hair, a tie-dye white shirt and blue skinny jeans. I asked […]