Rants

2

Entry One: Intro/Work

  January 7th, 2011 by inbetweendays

Forgive my abrupt periods, and short sentences. I’ve noticed it helps me to keep my thoughts together on here, since normally I can get very descriptive but then lose track.

I’m a 20 year old girl in college. I was going to a 4 year university. Fucked that up last semester by losing my scholarship. Going to community now and paying my own way. I want to work as a childcare provider. I love kids, I used to think I was a kid at heart, but now not so much.

I work at a terrible local bridal shop. It’s owned by …

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3

hi, i’m 24. jobless. destroyed marriage. total failure.

  January 7th, 2011 by malice

I can’t count the ultimatums I’ve given. He’s cheated. He’s lied. He lied LAST NIGHT. He drinks. He lies about drinking. He cheats. He beats me. And of course he plays it all down like it’s nothing. Now he’s in therapy. Too little too late. I’m dead inside. I don’t want to go back to my suffocatingly conservative and all-around selfish and rude family. they’re 3,000 miles away anyway. I never let friends get too close to me because my friendships usually end up working out as poorly as my marriage did. I can’t remember the last time i was happy…  I wanna say maybe age five through ten. When my little brother was still my little brother.

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22

38+ years without hope. How much longer must I endure this pain?

  January 7th, 2011 by blacknduglycaligirl

38+ years without hope. How much longer must I endure this pain?

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2

See you around

  January 4th, 2011 by goodbikroolwurld

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4

Tonight is It

  January 3rd, 2011 by benji

I’m young (15 years old), but I can’t handle anything anymore.  I’ve been diagnosed with chronic depression and put on medication which doesn’t help much, although I’ve switched medications almost ten times already.  I’m just tired of it.

So I’ve read into the exit bag method.  It looks promising, but I don’t have the helium or carbon monoxide readily available.  I do, however, have canned air.  I researched it, and even though it’s the opposite of helium (heavier than air rather than lighter), it makes you pass out, regardless, which is the point of the helium anyway.

Anyway, I’ve read about people failing because their body reacts, …

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6

Shes toxic bacteria

  January 3rd, 2011 by marlajade

[Natalie] Anything you wish to say at this very special moment?

LIAR. FAILURE. FAT. WHORE. USELESS DROPOUT SHIT. TOXIC PREGNANT CUTSLUT. JERKOUT TRUCK WOMAN WITH A MANUFACTURED EGO. HOPELESS AT LOVE. WORSE AT LIFE. MENTAL WASTEOUT COCKEATER. DETATCHED MUTE GIRL. SEMI AWAKE REJECT. RSA ENCODED GOVERNMENT SECRET. NAUGHTY NAUGHTY FINGER FUCKIN HORNY LITTLE NAUGHTY PANTY CAM GIRL.

[bleach the girl][a bleach bottle on an empty cabinet] [comatose[corrode[Clorox[low

Imgonnatearyouapart[imintearsasireadthis]

peroxide. mechanical surveillance culture. misery butterfly. studio meds.

i think youre conceited[and i dont believe you do care]

next to you [they [sic] love you] in the mirror

in the bar. then outside. i fell into the trap. i am a child in playboy bunny …

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7

Greedy little shit

  January 2nd, 2011 by KlashingKamille

Im tired of all of these no offense, but really, jesus-freaks attacking me with i was ‘Put here for a reason, God loves you, Jesus made you….etc.’ I honestly do not care.

Yeah, i have family. yeah i have friends.
But whats eating me inside hurts me more than anything else could.

Its like heartbreak, jealousy, apathy, pain, impatience…everything that hurts put together into one.

I want to die, and i dont care who i hurt, because my grief inside is so much worse.
‘Its just a phase, every teen goes through it’ they say.
Well if i ever get the courage, ill prove you wrong.

Im a greedy, selfish, ugly, hateful …

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2

Dear Me,

  January 1st, 2011 by hollywood1919

you are fat. really, REALLY fat. You should just take a knife and cut it all off.

your makeup looks like shit, your hair is fucked up.

your boyfriend doesnt deserve you. he wastes his money on you.

the lights are on, but nobody is home. no wonder the only guys that have ever been interested in you were weirdos.

your family doesnt love you. the only person who ever loved you, your grandma, is long gone and dead.

your conception was a mistake, your mom would be better off without you.

you waste the money you earn on stupid shit: junk you wont use, clothes you will outgrow, food that

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4

365 days till i die….

  December 31st, 2010 by Serafino

At 38,i feel like a loser, like somebody who hasn’t accomplish anything in life except savings and an apartment right outside NYC

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8

i just need strength

  December 29th, 2010 by heartbroken18

so yeah here goes, okay I’ve just turned 18 days ago, had the worst Christmas ever. I’m not here for sympothy or anything like that i just need to tell my story. Well i haven’t had a bad life, I’ve a mummy and family who i love but they just don’t understand, well enough off my rambling. 12th of June – the day i met HIM. I was at a concert and it was just by chance that we met, we were strangers, litterally bumped into eachother…we just got talking you know just asked where he was from his age(17) you know just small talk …

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4

Hello.

  December 28th, 2010 by Suffocating

Hello.

I am 20 years old and I have a 2 year old son.

First, I’d like to state that my son is the most beautiful and important person in my life, I love him very much. Even as a teen I have had issues with clinical depression, bipolar disorder and borderline personality. My mother had me admitted for a suicide attempt when I was 14 and there they diagnosed me and had me put on meds. I haven’t been on them since I was 15, I stopped taking them because at the time I believed I was cured and I felt like a happier person. As …

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5

You are not alone.

  December 27th, 2010 by NeverGiveUp4

Im a 13 year girl. I live in Puerto Rico. I go to school. My Family: Mom, Dad, Brother(older)and my grandparents(divorced)ect… My Mission is helping other that have been through the same pain, anger, hatred, and sadness which that cause Depression or Suicide Attempts. The most important thing is to reach them out and say ”Never Give Up” because you are not alone, If you need someone to talk to, to hear you, I’ll be here. Remember ”Never Give Up”

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14

Purpose (die)

  December 27th, 2010 by RogueShadow1281

Well, I am writing again how life is hard for me. I am not a rape survivor or anything very big like some of the other people on here, but that doesn’t mean life is great. I cannot tell my parents anything. i have no self-esteem, never had a girlfriend, failing school, stepmom hates me, dad doesnt listen to me. Yesterday, I felt fatigued, my head hurted, muscles ached, back hurted, and i looked it up and found out for the 50th time. i have a high chance of severe depression. Only problem is, I can’t get the ****in balls to tell my mom about …

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8

Merry ****ing Xmas

  December 24th, 2010 by waterfallofpaint

It’s Christmas again. And what have you done? Another year wasted. A new one still to come.

32 years. I can remember the past dozen. Some were ok. Everything that was fun is just a bitter memory of the past. With an unlikelyhood that things will get better. So I’m hiding in my room again. Like a god-damn teenager, but I can no longer blame it on hormones. Now it’s just *me*.

I’m educated, rich enough and slightly underweight. Not particularly attractive. My family is kind and mildly successful without being conceited.

“I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship”

Noone has contacted me …

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1

Crimson Justice (And The Razorblade Requiem)

  December 22nd, 2010 by BrokenDevil

Fractured memories of all these war-torn years,
stab into my soul, giving strength to wasted tears.
Trust, a luxury I cannot afford.
Condemned by my own accord.
(slice.)
Heated arguements have lead to silence.
Now I’m locked away, suffering quiet violence.
The need to loose control is just so tempting.
The mirror I look into is now empty.
(slice.)
Once I was promised your salvation.
But your hatred lies on me as abomination.
(slice, slice.)
No one to run to, nowhere to go
this loathing breeds in me, I know.
I hate this horror, need to hide
from the disappointment I have inside.
I’ve murdured everyone who’s cared
out of self defense, because I’m scared.
That the beast inside has become me
and I need

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3

I don’t wanna die but tempted

  December 21st, 2010 by cattygirl96

I just turned 14 last week, and although i know im not the person with the most loss or destruction in my family but i’ve still tried. I read this stuff to make me feel better, i sound selfish, but it shows me how im not the worst person in the world. I’ve recently had a friend who bagged on my looks, always calling me ugly and worth nothing. Once she was gone, my parents started to treat me like nothing, and call me a piece of shit. I’ve just gotten into cutting and having thoughts of dying. I don’t cut far enough to make …

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4

Am I selfish?

  December 19th, 2010 by sakura_haruko

I hate this so much. I’m starting to feel paranoid again.

I’m really fucking tired of you following me. And I’m really fucking tired of you saying that you know me.

If I have to chew you out when I see you next time, believe me, I will NOT hesitate to do so.

Disregarding that, I feel really selfish. I don’t know. I feel like I’m getting more and more distant from people in general. It’s not like I’m wanting to, it’s just that I feel secluded even when I’m in a group of people. It’s almost like I just don’t belong there or that if I just …

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4

I don’t know anymore.

  December 16th, 2010 by Narugami

My life.. Why does every shit happen to me? What have I ever done?  Everyday of my life, before I go to sleep, I always think about dying.. I always ask myself why was I even born.. Why do I have to go through everything? School and people around me, they see me as something I’m not.. I smile a lot but every smile burns me on the inside.. Everything hurts.. Why do I only have people who use me? People who doesn’t care about me? I don’t have anyone.. No friends.. My parents are divorced, my mom makes me feel like I’m just an …

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3

the last thread won’t break;

  December 16th, 2010 by bluuelephant

ever since I was 11, i’ve hated myself. I was the last in everything, the ugly duckling. when I got skinnier and prettier and grew up in high-school, I was never happy. I always got the crappy friends who used me or just wanted to make fun of me. I learned about cutting first, it was my drug against suicide at the time. arms, legs, fingers, feet, if I could hide it I cut it. I never liked my body. I thought no-one else did either. then suddenly cutting wasn’t enough. the depression came and left, like an ongoing tidal wave that never stopped it’s …

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4

illness.

  December 15th, 2010 by zdeathchanz

people on here tell me to not commit suicide. hm. what if i told you that i am sick. if i told you i was actually sick and lost 10 pounds in the past few months even though i eat, wud u believe me? would u be amazed if i said i am now 80 pounds and am losing more and more?

no. of course not. but its true. and i really dont want to die due to an illness. its my own choice, my death is. and id rather go off in bang than otherwise.

well…this is one of the reasons at least that ill …

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