Rants

9

Maybe not today or tomorrow but someday

  December 11th, 2010 by Left2Chance

I’m 24. I’m a nurse. I’m a mother. I have friends who love me. I have a job that I’m well respected at. I have good clothes on my back, and food at my table. I have a boyfriend that’s watched me try to die at least 5 times now in agony.

I remember feeling this way since I was 15 when I tried it the first time. There will be periods I can tolerate myself. Then there are those periods where I cannot. Those are the times when I think my heart is folding onto itself. …

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11

Horrible Pointless Life

  December 10th, 2010 by BornDepressed87

Hello,

Im a 23 year old male from the UK.

My life is pointless and I have never been happy.

I have sufferd from depression and other mental health issues for years. Ive been on so many different types of medication for my mental health problems. I am currently taking Venlafaxine.

I have a very poor education and I have no job.

I was very violent in my early teens, I was permanently excluded from school at the age of 13, then I was sent to a pupil referral unit along with other misbehaved kids.

I was addicted to amphetamine when I was 13 up untill I was 16, I also smoked cannabis heavily at that age. Then I stopped using them and …

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0

I have it all but it’s not enough in Sunny California

  December 9th, 2010 by thexwolf

I’m  33/Hispanic/male in Southern California. I’ve always done good and people say I got it better than most. I worked for the same company from 21-30 years old and made good money, then I got my DREAM job. Although things are slow because of the economy, I know pretty soon things are going to get better. I work in the international cargo trade industry. And although I have good friends and family, buy nice things and go out pretty often, I’ve never felt whole. I feel so sad, so often, as is i’ve missed something good by mere moments. I wish all people were good and …

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5

Loneliness is my killer.

  December 6th, 2010 by DanielJackson

There is still this feeling of loneliness I cannot escape.  A deep social isolation which has been embedded into my soul, instilled from childhood.  Early in life, I felt the sting of rejection after rejection after I gained weight and lost all my friends.  I became a total social outcast for no good reason other than I was different.  I struggled during lunch time to find tables to sit at as no one wanted to speak with me.  There were many times where I’d spend my lunch time in the bathroom, not wanting to feel publicly awkward.  The downward spiral of social rejection continued past …

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10

So I’m losing control I thinking about killing myself again

  December 6th, 2010 by akgirl

I’m the friend who they go to when the need to be cheered up or when they need someone to listen… when will they realize that I need somebody I can talk to?

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5

Friends? As if.

  December 4th, 2010 by loreildarksky

I want out. I want to die… I have nothing left to fight for. I have nothing… no one. Not even my friends, anymore.
I’m thought… I have friends… but how can I trust that? How can I believe it? When I need for someone to notice that something is wrong, when I need a hug or for someone to say that they’ll be there for me… no one ever does. Only when they thought they lost me did they actually say anything. And within a few minutes they forgot about it.
Like I’m taken for granted and always have been. I’ve sat and listened through …

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13

I don’t know what to do anymore.

  December 1st, 2010 by Shes_Gone_Inside

 I’ve checked this website out for a few months now, just browsing after stumbling upon it by accident.

At least, if anyone ever asks why it’s in my history, that’s what I’ll say..

Well, the just browsing part is true, but the coming here as an accident, is not. Honestly? I’ve been depressed for a really long time. And I’m still young… I had a really rough childhood and had to basically raise myself. I’m too scared to talk specifically about my life here…but it’s just been so,so hard and I don’t know what to do anymore. I used to say to myself that I could make …

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5

My secret confessions

  November 29th, 2010 by SweetRevenge

I was browsing around a nd i found this site. maybe itll help me. i have hopefully kept myself as anonymous as possible to tell my story. I cant talk to my friends or family cuz they either think im crazy or just looking for attention. sometimes i agree with them.

It started when i was 5. my great grandfather molested me for about a year before it stopped. he has been dead now for 2 years. It didnt come out to my family until late last year. When i was 8 an important someone in my life molested me until i was 9 when he …

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1

i saw this and had to post it on here cuz it feels kinda perfect now…

  November 28th, 2010 by oktobresnoe

So I just want to say that this poem is written by Hayley Williams, the lead singer of my favorite band, Paramore. She wrote it on my birthday (June 18) in 2005. I DO NOT OWN THIS AND ALL CREDIT GOES TO HAYLEY.

insomniac theatre: a waste of sleepless nights

have i lost you?

surely that wasn’t the last night i’ll fall asleep with you on the phone.

you know i look forward to that, right?

allllll day just waiting to go to sleep with you whispering in my ear.

i know you love me but are we okay?

is there something i did wrong?

i want you to be fine with me

and …

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0

useless

  November 28th, 2010 by oktobresnoe

hey guys. its me again oktobresnoe. umm thanks to everybody who eamiled me. that means a lot. but i still feel so useless and i can’t do this anymore. i don’t wanna kill myself because of the friends i will hurt. they are the only people who will cry at my funeral probably. so after i posted that the other night i tried to kill myself but somehow im still here. im not really sure how to be honest, but i am and i guess while im here i have to be really nice to the people who actually care so that they wont think …

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8

Lost in my own Mind

  November 27th, 2010 by loreildarksky

I just can’t get this feeling that I need to tell someone everything… For me, this is as close as I’ll ever get… I’m sorry if it takes a little while to explain everything, but this is also me trying to sort everything out as well as tell.

I’m trapped in my own head… I have three different “me”s inside my mind, all yelling and screaming and fighting to get out. Every day I have to face it–how can I not, when it’s myself that’s turned against me? And every day I’m drifting farther and farther from sanity, safety, and all my loved ones, because I …

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5

There has to be something to be thankful for.

  November 25th, 2010 by xstoryofmylifex3

Well, today is thanksgiving…And I just feel….miserable.

My parents have told me so many times that I should be thankful for having such a “great family” like them, but the words will never come out of my mouth. Thanksgiving is a holiday where people show they are thankful for people, things, lives, etc. In my opinion, some people take things for granted. Think about someone in your life who has everything they want, for me, it would be my cousin. She has a wonderful life; the perfect parents, all the food she can eat, and so much more. But she just turns to her parents and asks …

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7

Why?

  November 21st, 2010 by xstoryofmylifex3

Why am I still here? All this shit has gotten to me so many times in the past, I just cant handle it. Everytime I am in front of people, I fake a smile so they wont worry. Suicide would be so simple for me, for anyone. I wish I could just get away from them; the cause of my pain. I wish I could be someone else so I didnt have to deal with any of this… Ive fucked up enough, and I just want to be done… Every night I just cry myself to sleep, thinking how worthless I am to everyone. I …

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11

If you want to talk, I’m here.

  November 20th, 2010 by avriel

am here to talk

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1

Okay, so I lied.

  November 14th, 2010 by sakura_haruko

I said in my last post that I wouldn’t be posting here anymore, but I need to. I need this place. I need it to vent.

And to you, you know who you are, if you’re watching me then fuck you. I will find you and seriously beat your ass down and both April and I will not show you any mercy like Rachel continues to do. I’m not as kind as I used to be anymore, thankfully, you made me like this now.

So, to you guys who have commented and responded honestly and wholeheartedly to my posts, thank you. (: I don’t know if any …

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3

someone to truely care :(

  November 12th, 2010 by jareth1slipknot7

i’m new to this ive never really told many about my problems but i really have noone to talk to about it so why not to other people who may can help or care. well im 20 year old male who i think im gay ….well now it started i believe in middle school i was never a happy person growing up although i didnt have a bad childhood i was tubby sorta but i knew many people i somehow got so scared of people i developed social anxiety disorder which i struggle with still today i remember staying out of claases going to take …

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5

Can’t even get out of bed.

  November 6th, 2010 by Ms-Brandee

I’m 18.. Been through things that at certain ages, I shouldn’t have had to worry over. Been on the streets, been starving with no food, my dad has never been in my life. child protective services in my life my entire 18 years. Lost the only person I lived for which was my mom at the age of 13.  I’ve basically been to hell and back more the a couple of times.It doesn’t get easier to live without her. I’m tired of being angry at the world for her not being here.. I’m so exhausted from being so mad all the time. I just can’t …

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5

  November 1st, 2010 by meena314

Hello I’m new to this site.. haven’t even read other post but I really need to say something to anyone.

Today is a down day… I awoke 7 hours after I was suppose to and only because family member prodded me. Most days are like this. Suicidal thought. Crying fits, daydreams about anything other than my current life. It’s exhausting and I’m tired.

I sought help at the beginning of the month for my anxiety/depression and wonder if I should have told my doctor I have tried to kill myself before but quietly decided not to….until the next time…and the next.

Well now I’m at the end of …

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1

Dont know what to do anymore

  October 29th, 2010 by smilingshigagi

I suppose depression starting taking over my life very early. I was always being made fun of as a kid so of course I naturally felt withdrawn from everyone else. I have been very unsucessful in having one close  friend or someone I can talk to. Nowadays I mostly lose them because I’m depressed and  complain alot, or I lose them becasue I’m too afraid to get close . I can’t stand  to get hurt anymore than I already have.  When I was 18 I was  taken to a mental health facility by a school counselor. I honestly thought  I could get some help by being there but after a week or so my mom was

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1

I Can’t Escape

  October 25th, 2010 by schatten84

this is gonna take awhile… I can’t escape my past, and yet I’m terrified of my future. I suffered through 16 years of a severely abusive childhood, ending in my father committing suicide in 2000; it left me with a paralyzing fear of abandonment, making it next to impossible for me to connect with anyone. I met the girl that I would marry in march of 2000, just 2 weeks before my father died; we just had our first child in February of this year – and here’s where the future comes into play. I’ve been subconsciously pushing away from my wife for the last …

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