Rants

3

I hate you too *****!

January 18th, 2010by whiteylover

Don’t bother with this it’s just an all out rant.

 

There was no need, absolutely no need for you to go and tell the whole world mother! Especially my grandfather. He’s the most self centered person I know other than my sister and he was the one who told me I needed to let it go and move on. He didn’t know anything. He didn’t know what was really going on in that school and he didn’t know half of the hell I was put through! He put me through so much trama, all because you believed the words he said just because he is a …

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0

I continuously get called Satan.

January 17th, 2010by silent

So earlier, i got a blood nose out of nowhere. I haven’t had one for at least 6 years now. To be covered in my own blood when i hadn’t even been cutting felt rather strange because i never bleed. I liked it, the taste of it in my mouth.. I know, this would sound rather strange at the moment, it also sounds strange to me. But having no control over what my body is going to do, felt good. Really good. I don’t even know why i’m writing this, i just feel odd at the moment. Kind of like i’m not here, that i’m …

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3

FML

January 14th, 2010by drawingfool

I wish I were dead. There I wrote it. I’m too much of a coward to actually go about killing myself so I’m stuck with just wishing I were dead. I’m 32 years old, I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life, have a shitty customer service job that barely pays the bills and I’m stuck under a mountain of debt with the very real possibility of losing my house. I would think it would be impossible for someone to be this pathetic, this much of a loser, but its like life has conspired to make sure my life is a joke. I remember in …

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8

Done. D-O-N-E

January 13th, 2010by whiteylover

fml. I am finished, finished trying to stop myself, finished letting people stop me. I need to cut, I need that release. You can’t stop me. I am consumed with hurt, pain, and a desire to die. That desire is overwhelming me and I just want to die. I can’t do it anymore, I won’t do it anymore. I pray that I will die and that’s not working. I don’t think I have the strength to pull the trigger but eventually I know I will. I want to die on a wednesday, before church. The people that have hurt me most are at church and …

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6

a poem

January 5th, 2010by whiteylover

I’ve done the best i possibly can,
To try and make you understand.
But no one seems to really see,
That a certain something, is destroying me.

It’s something that engulfs your life,
Makes you want to pick up a knife.
Its something that takes away your faith,
And makes you feel so unsafe.

I’m not sure how much more i can take,
Before i crumble, and before i break.
I managed to fight it by myself,
With a smile i pretended to be somebody else.
But its at the stage im losing hope,
I’m giving up, i cant seem to cope.

This thing is painfully ruining me,
Controlling my life happily.
Im not living – Im surviving,
And inside im slowly

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7

Suicide Is Selfish

December 30th, 2009by Selfish

Why does suicide have to be such a selfish act? Why can’t it just be that a person can kill themselves when they fell they’ve sufficiently fucked up this life enough to no repair and no one has to suffer. But it’s never that easy.

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2

poems and promises

December 30th, 2009by Annie

ive written on here once you may rebember me from the post “if you care please read!!”

ive decided on something. ive read through comments and posts and decided on something, if i ended my life, i would end up hurting everyone who has ever cared. about a week ago i made a promise to my self that i wont end my life until i am sure, i will go on with the old plans of my life with a couple of new additions.

first i will find out if the person i love loves me back.

second i will start a few extra curiccular activities to help …

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0

Sad… again

December 25th, 2009by nogooddeed

This is my first blog, and as the title says I feel sad. What happens when somebody stops loving you? I mean how can you stop loving someone, and NO I do not mean a boyfriend, I mean a father (I have been wondering about this for 12 years and many attempts to kill myself later have not found the answer). I’m living barely but here and I still don’t know how to handle the situation but got plenty of problems. Back to this one, I have the same DNA as this person, if he needs a organ I’m one of his best shot at …

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3

Magic Pills.

December 19th, 2009by Fml

I stopped seeing my psychiatrist and psychologist because I thought I was better. I went cold turkey and suddenly stopped taking 225mg Venlafaxine a day and the 10mg Zyprexa (Anti Depression and Anti Psychotic Medications). It worked. Its been 2 years since taking them, and I think I just realised that nothing has changed. I never got better. Just deluded thoughts kept me going.

If it is any use to anyone – If a doctor trys to give you Zyprexa…. dont take it. do yourself a favour. I hit the point I would take any help I could get. Anti psychotic? Sure, throw me it, it …

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6

She’s looking for a way through the looking

December 15th, 2009by Sierra

Don’t people always preach to welcome Death, to embrace it, to not live in fear of it? So why does it seem when someone kills themselves people get so mad? I mean we’re embracing it aren’t we? Maybe in a diluted, dark way but we are. So than why are we so willing to put people to Death? Somebody will miss that person, be hurt, so does that really make us any better than suicide-rs, the people we’re sending off to Death? Your killing them to feel better, we all know it, its for closure. Like suicide. Its not fair putting people off to Death, i …

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5

My Hard Choice…

December 10th, 2009by Shelly

I wrote my first blog here earlier last year: A Wasted Life… and hopefully my last is going to be posted sometime next year. This one was quite unplanned and most unexpected but after thinking about it for a little while, I just had to go ahead and write it… okay, so here goes. I live with two people who I greatly care for but one of them’s like seriously terminally ill and he isn’t really capable of taking care of himself anymore, he’s also extremely isolated now since he’s pretty well housebound most of the time. I’ve been living with him for years, trust me …

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9

i hate this world

December 2nd, 2009by kbell

oaky…here it is…the unabridged truth…
i hate this world. i hate everything about it. i hate that it hurt me in ways i cannot even begin to describe. i hate that the damage the world’s screwed up people have had on me have left scars that don’t show…they don’t make me look crazy…but i am…those scars make me impossible to live with, and impossible to love. i didn’t cause this…i survived that…yet i bear the damage and it’s impossible to change enough to ever live in a happy life like so many other people do. i want off this planet. …

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5

November 30th, 2009by CJ

I’m going to ask you all to bear with me for the forthcoming bullshit. It’s nothing more, or less, honestly.

I sincerely, truly, unfathomably, hate myself. As I sit here trying to think of words that appropriately describe my self-hatred, my mind is completely blank. The word ‘hate’ doesn’t even seem fitting anymore. I’m beyond that at this point. What I think about myself is documented on my forearms and my stomach, red slashes that I create robotically these days. The sight of my body in pain doesn’t give me satisfaction anymore. Nothing does. What could make someone loathe themselves so much? Besides my obvious hideous appearance …

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0

Wrong.

November 28th, 2009by someoneoutthere

I’m really not quite sure what’s wrong with me. I just want something. I’m just lonely and angry and tired. I’m sick of everyone and anything. I’d love to hang myself. I’d love to. I just can’t, though. I can’t find it in me to look for a simple rope. Or something to tie myself to. I can tie a slipknot. I’ve practiced. But that’s it…I just don’t have it in me to try a little harder.

That’s my problem. I just don’t have it in me. I want this so much. I want this so much it’s unbelievable. I’ve gotten myself high on cough medicine, …

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4

How could you treat me this way?

November 27th, 2009by pk23

My friend told me she cuts herself and I told her I did so too but she only does it cause she’s bored, for me I do it because I believe my world is coming to an end and she hits me and treats me like crap now that she knows I do it not because I’m bored and she’s cchecking me and I hate this, telling her made it worse and now I want to die even more than before.

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1

If Life Were Only a Story

November 27th, 2009by Thexter

Hello.

I in the past wrote a post on this website entitled “Endless Future.” I am happy to tell you all, that I am still here, in this world existing as I always have, and always will. I came back, though, not to tell you I am living a wonderful life full of blessings and happiness. My life is as it always has been: darkened by the clouds of misery and misfortune.  I enrolled in a fiction class at my local college. I have been excelling, but I came to the realization that no matter how much I enjoyed writings stories about people who don’t exist, …

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9

I just want this feeling to go away..

November 24th, 2009by TiedTogetherWithASmile05

I don’t think i’m supposed to feel this way. I’m only a fourteen year old girl, and i already hate life. So much has happened to me in the last two, maybe three years. And i don’t mean physically, i mean emotionally.

I guess it all started in seventh grade. I fell in love. I really did, and still am. I fell in love with this guy before i even knew his name! But of course, he never noticed me. In eighth grade, one of his close friends found out i liked him. So she decided to tell him. He thought it was cool i liked him, …

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6

Teenagers

November 17th, 2009by Duasrep

I think its safe to say that I’m not a normal teenager. I don’t know if normal teenagers are hypersensitive like I am. I don’t think normal teenagers wish for some freak accident to come along and kill them. I’m pretty sure normal teenagers enjoy their youth and want to live. But we have established that I am not a normal teenager.

When you look at my life you can say I have it pretty well. I have a caring family. My grades are average. I have friends. These things would make anyone else happy.

But I am not happy. 🙁

I am on an anti-depressant and …

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5

Depressed and suicidal

November 9th, 2009by jeremyalb4

I feel so depressed i can’t concentrate I get so agitated just being here all I’ve been having is thoughts about killing myself there’s nothing worth living for, even in my dreams I dream about killing myself you know how bad that is when you dream about it all I want to do is to end it all. when I do not feel right I rather be In a dark room and just seclude my self away from the world and drink my life away.

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0

Surrounded by Misery

October 30th, 2009by kja611

I am drowning in my feelings. Little insults feel like punches to my chest. I obsess over everything until I end up having a panic attack. I am being dragged down by my negative feelings. How do I just let this go? How do I have a carefree attitude about some things? Why do I over analysis everything? Plus, when I start to analysis things again and again, I start to blame myself even when it was never my fault.

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