If I may have your attention, if you will. Why’s the current suicide rate of the people on this site? Do you have anything on that perhaps in the form of a death to month average. I would really like to figure that out as I can’t think to myself and I’m stuck on that. I make imaginary speeches in a virtual world on OSP. I address the situation that so far we are not represented as the suicidal people of America… No of the world and we are more than a statistic from dying once or twice per month and we must have some […]
Rants
I am trying to make it past Christmas, maybe New Years, so my grown kids aren’t left with that kind of memory during the holidays. I may not make it much farther than that though. I was gone most of yesterday, until after dark, didn’t tell anyone where I was going, yet I never got so much as a text message or call from anyone. That is not my normal routine, and my family and a couple of not so close friends know how much I am hurting, so that was just one more thing that tells me I really have no one in […]
Guinevere by Eli Young Band I don’t know why, but I feel like this reminds me of me, anyone else???
This is really so lame, but I’m 22 and I still think I’m that same little girl that my mom used as a physical and emotionally punching bag. I still remember her telling me to go and kill myself when I was about 11,12 after her ranting and raving. I remember her laughing when I cried and telling me that god didn’t love me. I remember the isolation and always being afraid.I know they are lies now, but for years I believe that bit**. I’m so angry I have to work hard too achieved things that everyone takes for granted. She stole my chance to […]
K so, think about this.
Life may suck. Yes I understand how you think. But killing yourself really wouldn’t end the suckiness. Well, I guess it would. But Then it would put a lot more people then you know in grief & pain & misery & silence & sorrow & all of that good stuff.
It’s a chain reaction you see.
And shit WILL NOT get better if you just sit around, cut yourself, pop some pills, or tie that noose, or load that gun, or take that step, or grasp that blade, or anything else.
I know, I may sound like a total ***** right now. Yes, I […]
Ill never live a normal life. Not with my past. I just want a time machine. I knwo I should just look forward and learn from my past… but its not as simple as people make it seem when they say it. Im just scared of whats gunna happen after wards. After I end it all. will I be forever in blackness or will i really go to a heaven ? I know nieave… but it gives u peace knowing that something is better. Even if there ws though God would probably wouldn’t let me in, cause suicide is a sin and all. When i […]
Lets say 7 people died.
Just a random 7 people.
A druggie, a homosexual, a suicidal, a thug, an abuser, the abused, perfect life.
Each and every life is different, yes?
But each and every member of their friends or family care.
People DO care.
And they WILL be crying at your funeral.
You might think no one cares,
But that doesn’t mean its true.
Hello all,
It has been over 7 months since I found a work mate dead. The effect has been huge on me & my family, I have felt almost compelled at times to follow. Anyone that feels like following PLEASE stop…..It will just go on and on. You are better than that no matter what you feel now! Please don’t let anyone find you.PLEASE PLEASE it will cause more pain to someone you may not even know than you know now.
Please !!! stop and think have a cold drink of water then a hot drink of coffee or Tea. Go for a brisk walk […]
I am so tired of being the “problem child”. My mother just told me she thinks she “f***ed up” raising me and that she’s sorry. She thinks I don’t care but the truth is I don’t feel anymore because feeling hurts too much. Too many people have cut me down too often for me to willingly court the possibility again. So, no, I don’t like you, mother, insofar as I actually consider you. But your nagging is driving me to extremes and if it continues much longer, this will be the final semester of my life. Why is it so hard for people to understand […]
Two more days, and then Thanksgiving. My husband and I declined an invitation to visit his dysfunctional family. It is an hour drive, all to stuff food and negative conversations into our stomachs and minds. With one economic and personal crisis after another closing in, our lives are in shambles. Even the gas prices to hit the road for an obligatory visit, are too much. Bringing something to drink, contributing food…it all adds up and we can’t afford the cost, emotionally or financially.  Also, this crowd eats as though every meal is their last. I savor each bite. They are clobbering the dessert before I […]
I mean, really. Â I’ve been through quite a bit, and have been down the suicide route. If someone offs themselves, why is that selfish? It’s selfish of the person claiming it’s selfish to not understand what drives someone to suicide. I think there’s a certain amount of independence and nobility in suicide that isn’t ever really talked about. Now I’m not saying go kill yourself. But at a certain point, even thinking about suicide as much as some have is very tiring, I’m sure.
Maybe all of the negative stigma about suicide has been even just enough to push someone over the edge?
I know I’m going to die some day
We all are
All that matters is how long till that day
I know I’m not gonna make a difference
None of us do
When we die the world still goes round
The clocks still tick
The sun still shines
I know I’m going to be remember
Few of us are
They have no reason to keep me in their hearts
They have no reason to miss me
They have no reason to remember me
I know I will be gone soon
Most of us will
I want to die
I want it to be over
I am pointless here
Why do I want do die?
My life sucks
Why does my life suck?
I’m a horrible person
Why […]
Each cut is like a battle scar, like a fading glory. I dare myself to go deeper and deeper each time, feeling the rush of life, but then it’s gone. I don’t know what to do anymore.
I hate therapists, I hate people who pity me, and I just hate everything. Nothing good comes out of when they just say things, because they aren’t helping.
The date is set, but it won’t be for another 3 years, until I’m a senior, until I become that perfect person that my parents, friends, family, and teachers want. I’ll be just like Terrence, no one will know what hit them.
I’m not […]
It’s the loneliest feeling in the world – to find yourself just sitting there and not knowing anything or who you are anymore. To have everybody ask how you are, and not really know what to say. Walking down an empty street, listening to the sound of your own footsteps. Shutters closed, blinds drawn, everything closed. And you aren’t sure whether you’re walking toward something, or if you’re just walking away. I hate what I’ve become to escape what I couldn’t handle being.. and I don’t know whether I was actually getting better, or I was just getting used to the pain.
I realized long ago […]
Why do we suffer? I feel like somehow all this is making me grow. I find it very hard to believe that we suffer this much and nothing comes out of it, maybe that’s why I’m searching for hope all the time and waiting. To suffer like this, there’s bound to be something that’ll be worth it all. I don’t know if it’s worth it, but I can say from what I’ve heard and managed to feel before, maybe it is worth it; to function, to be happy, to be alive. We can “treat†all these mental disorders sometimes, such as depression, anxiety, OCD, or […]
It’s not fair, I was actually beginning to feel something and now it’s gone. I was really trying, and then it just began to crumble down just like everything else in my life. I don’t know how anyone is supposed to live with this and “move on” and keep on trudging through life.. What’s the point in that if I’ve felt bad for majority of my life. I’m holding on to my last few threads of hope and I’m holding really tight.. It’s my last stand.. but that’s the thing I always have a last stand.. Whenever I see the smallest glimpse of hope, I […]
I’ve been thinking about sucide for awhile. See the point is I hate my life. I’m so alone, ugly and fat. I’m a pathetic loser. No guy would ever love me and I really don’t have friends. I started college a few month ago and that getting to me too. I honestly don’t what to do. If I kill myself I know nobody would miss me, so why don’t i do it?
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Every time I cut, I feel so much better, like I’m getting high. Whenever my parents see my scars, they look at me with disgust, and it confuses me. They wanted me to be happy, they told me that I had to be happy or else I had to go. This is me being happy, letting my emotions go. They used to say my happiness was important, but that’s all they sayed to me until I just gave up. Ever since January, I’ve been on lock down, all my family trying to save my damned soul, but I don’t want them to. I want to […]
It’s been awhile since I’ve been on this site.
Man, just when you think life gets better, it doesn’t.
From what I’m told I’m moving and ironically it’s in the same place my ex lives -.- don’t remember if I’ve mentioned that already in one of my older posts but w.e
I’m 16 and I remember when I was in grade 6 I remember promising myself that I would never drink until I was 18, never smoke, do drugs or even have sex until marriage, all I have to say is Ha!
I’m currently trying to buy a pack of cigs, tried weed and used a bong, never had […]
Suicide plagues my mind every day and I feel like i’m going insane.