Rants

0

Angry Insensitive Rant plus updates

August 15th, 2017by velveteennightingale

I know I’m a horrible person for saying this, but someone I know said they were experiencing “depression” from a medicine: “I had no motivation for the last months.” No. depression is: not having the motivation to get up each and every day, no motivation to eat/shower/live, days spent in bed, every night crying yourself to sleep, 50 cuts a leg to feel better, thinking about suicide every single fucking day. But everybody cares about her problems more than mine. I told my dad I sometimes have bad headaches where I have to lie in the dark and not do anything and he’s just like …

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11

First post, with a question

August 14th, 2017by uptheguff

I’ve been a lurker here for quite sometime, I have read so many post, replies and whatnot, that my head is filled with swimming thoughts.

I understand all too well, what has brought you all here…what has brought me here.

Seems, that most of wish to be free from existence, from the pain….we all have reasons why we want to go, some more than others.  We all have a reason that life is not as it seems but a form or “HELL”.

With all that in mind, I have a question.   All I want is death, all I want is peace, to no longer exist.

About 6 months …

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2

i hate the way i look

August 14th, 2017by iamdarling

i am ugly – my eyes are ugly. everything else about me is fine, perfect, even, but my eyes – they are so ugly.

i don’t know what has happened to them – they used to be pretty. the past few years, they have started to change, for some reason. the only way i can ‘fix’ it is by wearing winged eyeliner and eyeliner on my waterline, and sometimes they can look great, but usually, they don’t. i mean, they look decent, as i’m pretty good at makeup, but two minutes after applying the eyeliner on my waterline, it just doesn’t look as good as it …

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5

I’m sorry.

August 13th, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

I’ve been fighting for so long and its time I surrender. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the perfect daughter. I’m sorry I wasn’t born a boy. I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment and I couldn’t be who you wanted me to be. I’m sorry i couldn’t open up about it. I’m sorry I was too weak to ask for help, I thought I would get over it like all my problems, just like you said. I didn’t want to cause more drama since you said I should “get over it and stop being a drama queen”. I’m sorry I wasn’t friends with who you wanted …

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3

Black days

August 13th, 2017by ImSayingGoodBye

Whatsoever I’ve feared has come to life
Whatsoever I’ve fought off became my life
Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile
Sunspots have faded and now I’m doing time
Now I’m doing time
‘Cause I fell on black days

 

With the recent suicide of two great singers. For whatever reason, I’ve looked back into Chris Cornell’s lyrics and started listening to his work deeper than I’ve ever have before. His words touch my inner soul. I’ve never really liked soundgarden or audioslave till now. I always loved the grunge era. And I considered Cornell’s bands on the bottom of the list that time. I have no idea why, …

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0

When nothing makes sense…

August 12th, 2017by PrismaticGreyZone

Thoughts become things. (<— LINK)

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4

It doesn’t get better, just different.

August 10th, 2017by Piratemermaid

I could say some bullshit about all the things that caused me to be depressed, but they won’t actually be what caused me to be like this. A lot of people have gone through my situation and been just fine, in fact my situation is probably really easy. I take full responsibility for being the way I am. I’m just not strong enough, not resilient. Maybe too gullible.

My parents divorced when I was five, it would have been worse if they had stayed together. Dad was an alcoholic and Mom was taking care of him more than she needed to be. There was that small …

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2

My Poems

August 10th, 2017by FrozenSammy

I write poetry for a lot of different reasons. Mostly to let my feeling flow out, here’s a few I’ve written.

PITS
He’s different,
He’s spirit can’t be lifted,
His emotions shifted,
Being told which were right and which were not.
His mind dizzly fights the sadness that threatened to engulf him,
But misery was a hovering companion,
And they are so clueless,
They degrade him,
He fell into the pit that was and is depression,
He fell all the way down till he hit rock bottom,
But the people still didn’t understand,
They continued hurting him,
They made him feel unwanted and unloved,
So much that,
Even though he had hit rock bottom,
His body and mind wanted …

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3

I dunno

August 9th, 2017by Theycallmedramatic

I have so much to say, so much to think about, but I feel like I can’t find a part of humanity that will understand my way of thinking. In this world people care so much about things I find uninteresting. Maybe that is just an example of everyone being different, sure; however, I desperately need an ear like my own to listen to me. I am only eight-teen but my severe life-long depression and anxiety has stayed by my side like a shadow filled with pollution. I wanna die, but that would break a promise. But I wanna die still. That promise is my …

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1

August 9th, 2017by DeadHeart

I have the same feeling sometimes, I feel a little cheered up, I have a laugh but I remind myself that this is temporary, the way I really feel, miserable, depressed, crushed, bogged down, stuck, jealous will return shortly.

My thoughts of suicide use to be just thoughts but lately this has also changed for me, I’m coming to realize that my life isn’t going to change, no one is going to come save, I either I have to begin to enjoy this miserable life or end it.

I know I won’t be able to enjoy this life, its literally to hard. I’m so far behind

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3

Is It Really All It’s Going To Take?

August 9th, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

I do not think I am capable of being loved. I fear that I am never going to be able to find someone who will love me the way I fail to love myself. It has always been my only hope. What if it’s the only way all of this will ever get better? To find the right person who will always be there for me. The thing is I’ve been lied to so many times that I don’t think I can trust anyone anymore. People talk to me when they need something then they just disappear. If I refuse to do what they ask …

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2

Just Ranting

August 8th, 2017by blackopal02

do you ever feel so useless and depressed that you no longer feel?

after feeling angry and sad for so long i’m starting to only feel numbness. i’m starting to accept the fact that I am useless and will never be skinny or pretty or talented.

i’m too lazy and too far gone to try to “improve” myself and work on trying to get my life back together. when I try to think about feeling “normal” again I immediately realize that that is impossible and absurd. I will never and can never be happy again.

Im such a burden to all who are around me and I’ve been …

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2

9am thoughts

August 8th, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

Okay. So I don’t really know how this works. What if someone I know finds this, what then? How am I going to explain all this. When people I know see my cuts they judge and say I do it for attention so what will they think if they ever found this? I just need my space, I want to be able to express my thoughts without being scared but I guess fear is always going to be there.

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2

Off on a journey

August 8th, 2017by Cognac

I’m off tomorrow, away for a bit. Doing something I’ve never done before – wild camping, far out. I’ve spent most of my life indoors, not being allowed to have my own independence, so my experiences are limited. I’m looking forward to it, but at the same time, I’m not.

I’ve been really slacking, not having the motivation to do much in general (which includes writing this post, took quite a bit of energy to) and get packing and sort out my room before I leave, so I’ve left it to the last minute. This is really stressful.

The long hikes I’ll be taking might drain me …

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15

Abusive Relationship

August 7th, 2017by FrozenSammy

I was in a very abusive relationship, I don’t like talking about it but I need to because I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t. His name was Roman. He was very kind to me and that meant a lot to me because I was going through a really dark episode. It started small, degrading me with words. Then he started hitting me, kicking me, eventually things got sexual. He was into a lot of kinky stuff that I won’t get into. I have headspaces called little space, kitten space and slave/sub space. I only go into them occasionally but he took …

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2

First post

August 7th, 2017by Eccedentesiastsoul

“We do not chose to be born but we do have some kind of decision in the way we die”

It’s funny how life works at times. For as long as I can remember it’s been this way. I just don’t know if it is ever going to end. Its really hard, living like everything is fine. I tend to focus on other people’s problems then my own. To be able to survive this I tell myself that maybe there is a reason I’m like this but I’m tired of lying to myself, I’m tired of believing something that isn’t true and nothing but a sham.

I’m …

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6

How

August 7th, 2017by FrozenSammy

How do you survive when the world wants to crush you? I’ve had my fair share of shitty experiences. My mom almost died from an emergency heart open surgery, twice. I was in an extremely physical, mental, emotional and sexual abusive relationship. My parents used to punish me and my sisters by spanking us with metal blind closers. They said it was “the Lord’s rod of discipline” and I finally called them out on there bullshit. Then I came out as transgender, female to male, and gay. They are very Christian and still have not accepted me for who I am, it’s been over a …

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7

Succumbing Under the Pressure

August 6th, 2017by TheRoadSoFar

Tomorrow is my first official day at university, and I can already feel the crushing pressure. I’m feeling really anxious. Maybe some part of it can be due to the obvious “new stage” I’m going through in my life, but I’m really sure most of it is due to the whole “adult responsibilities” thingy I’m also going through. My anxiety is really killing me now.

For example, driving. I. Can’t. Fucking. Drive. A car. I get really really anxious and feel I’m going to fuck up, plus I have a fear of speed.
Also, I did a little research about some of the teachers I’m going …

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11

Im broken. I don’t know how much longer I can do this

August 6th, 2017by eeyore

I honestly don’t know where to start. I don’t know why I’m at this stage of where being dead is more pleasing than being alive. I never thought I’d be in this position. This might be quite long. I just really need to let it all out. Not sure the type of response I need or expect but if you’re reading thank you I hope you’re well and okay.

Ok so I haven’t been diagnosed with depression. I’ve lost all desire to do anything. It’s either a.) I’m asleep alllll day or b.) I don’t sleep for three days straight. I just feel so low. …

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15

Always Jealous

August 5th, 2017by blackopal02

Do you ever look at someone else and wish so badly that you could be them? In fact I’d rather be anyone else other than me.

“Me” is ugly, gross, flawed, useless, unworthy of life and love, unathletic, selfish, jealous, and just an utterly disappointing piece of shit. Funny how I can list tons of negative adjectives about myself but can’t think of a single positive one. Guess it just goes to show that I really am a worthless loser.

When I see my peers, family, and other people on the street I strangely feel like they’re “showing off” even if they aren’t talking about …

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