Today sucks, I completely freaked out today and I was very angry. Angry on myself, on the world, on my sister, on my parents, on the stupid weather, on everything. But mostly on myself. Directly after or actually during my angerexplosion I went to my room, jumped into my bed and started to hit myself. On my wrists, my chest and my shin. After that I still were angry, so I decided I needed more pain. Grabbed my knife and started cutting. After a while I had stopped and my mother walked into my room. She asked some things and I had to cry… After […]
Stories of Hope
I haven’t been online here for a very long time, you guys. And I am having trouble getting online at all lately, because of the oncoming exams. I’m sorry, but I probably can’t come here often anymore. I will take a small hiatus from this site and other sites in general.
You can always email me, though, and I’ll try to help you. 🙂 When I’m online, that is…
Other than that though; I’m doing fine at the moment. I’m a bit stressed about the exams, but I’m doing fine. And since I’m on this site, I feel the need to add that I will not kill […]
i’m the type of person who hesitates to kill myself because i still have faith that maybe something good can happen. so i make a little agreement with myself; if nothing happens, if i’m not ever happy, within 2-3 months, i will die. every time i’ve done this i’ve met a wonderful person who seemed to be capable of being a good enough friend to make me decide to live an extra 3 or so months.
now that i’m with my girlfriend, this something good will nearly always be present which means i’m “safe” for a bit (or forever if she stays with me that long). but […]
Hey Everyone juts wanting to ask if you have Facebook can you please like this page. It means alot to me.
https://www.facebook.com/SppStopSuicidePrevention?ref=hl
Thanks The Crew of SSPP Stop Suicide, Prevention Project
This is a song i wrote in high school, years ago.
I was 15 years old…
It is short but makes a point
“Fallen Angel”
Feeling so alone in
this dark dispair
can’t figure out why he’s still there
He tries to make sense of it all
and wonders why he had to fall
he tries to keep his tears inside
when he felt that love was just a lie
he knows that one day he will find a love that’s real
And I will wait for you
it doesnt matter what you do
I love you more than anyone could know
because you’re my life my love, […]
YOU are perfectly imperfect
YOU matter the most
YOU are the most beautiful,
the most wonderful
YOU are the only one who will truly know this
Deep down, you do
I LOVE YOU
-YOUR heart
So far I’ve posted story’s of love and death. Here’s just one more about love.
So for the longest time I was in love with this boy, if you’ve seen my other stories this is before Zach, but his name was Noah.
I know for sure, he won’t be reading this, or at least know who I am so it’s safe to use his name. But anyway on topic, Noah was what every girl wanted he was cute, taller than me, a good kisser, popular, athletic, captain of the football team, a slight accent, and a total gentlemen. He was just amazing. I fell for him, hard.
And […]
I’m 13 years old, turning 14 in March 13. I’m here again. Alone. I’ve been sexually abused by two family members and physically abused by almost every single person in my family. I’ve been beaten with objects. I can still taste the blood inside my mouth when it got busted and bruised. I’m insecure. I have cuts all over my legs and arms. And I have P.E too, we’re forced to wear shorts, I have to run everyday in the lockers and change as fast as possible making sure no one is able to see. I keep my razor inside my phone case, just in […]
There is only one person who’s been successful at making me truly happy. He’s my best friend, and possibly the guy I’d like to end up with in the future. It sounds stupid, and I’ve never been one to support love… especially in high school, but I believe this may be as close as it gets. I’m not saying that I’m in love with him exactly… but I love him in the sense that I appreciate him greatly and would likely die for him if it came down to it. We do everything together, as much as possible. Somehow with him, I’m happier. Keep in […]
This morning I looked outside and all I saw was snow. You may think: “Is that special?? O.o” Well, I can tell you: yes, it is. Because in The Netherlands we don’t really have severe winters or often snow. So when there is snow, it’s special. Especially when it’s like 6 inches, like today. I had to go to my part-time therapy (from 9 am till 3 pm every monday till friday) and luckily my father brought me. There was like more than 1000 kilometers of traffic jam, a new record! (on a normal tuesday in the morning it’s around 300 kilometers) and we also […]
Let me just begin by saying that i have contemplated suicide many times in my life time, mostly during my adolescence, but just recently also. I have been observing this page for a few days, and have been reading all of your posts.
I happened to stumble upon this article while searching near death experiences, and was amazed and humbled by the words so much that i began to cry. (not from sadness, but from the pure warmth of peace) I hope this brings you peace, and if not peace, a better understanding on why you are here now, and why we all MUST suffer sometimes… […]
‘m in cage, locked inside hell,
 I was so sure, I was completed,
I went so far, but then I fell.
     As I lost it, I was defeated.
 But I try to get back up every day,
 And that’s something I won’t give away.
I’m getting back up on my feet,
 I could understand to you it’s madness,
 For me to stand, and to accept my defeat.
But this helps me, It breaks down my sadness.
 Life hurts, but you’ll be alright,
 Keep going, Keep yourself going,
Just get back […]
My Name is Markus Jolley, also I go by MJ. I have tried at least 12 attempts of suicide, all failing, and now all I have is myself. I have no family, and I live in a group home for troubled or stranded youth. When I did have a family, I developed differently than any other kid my age. The Tests for mental instability or disorders started when I was 5. I went through medical tests over and over, until an MRI was ordered on my brain. It turned out that I had Frontal Lobe Gliosis which looks like this. http://www.ajnr.org/content/24/2/218/F3.large.jpg
This Problem explained my functioning […]
By:EmoCookie
Boom
Bam
Slam
No one heard the pain that I believe I desever
Slice
Dice
That is th price that I pay for myself
Spray
Snif
The way I can take myself from this world to be happy for just a second
Slap
Crack
Punch
Have nothing left
Get something someone can’t take from me
Safty pins
No longer come safe for me
Blade box cutters
No longer are for boxes
For my arm is now the box
And the blade […]
By:EmoCookie
Someone please jump into me
Feel my pain
Feel me
I’m dying inside
Help Me!
Help me get some air
Becasue you don’t see me
Dying on the inside
I’m almost gone
Gone from this world
Someone
Jump into me
Walk a day in my shoes
Feel my pain
And you may gain
Gain something in your mind
By:EmoCookie
We look each other  in the eyes
you tell me you love me and that you
know me from the back of your
hands, but now that you are looking
in my eyes look more in and see
the real me. you may be scared at
first but keep looking at my eyes. My
pain may eat into your soul, but
KEEP looking into my eyes! You say
you love me, you say you know me
from the back of your hands. Well to tell
 you the truth you don’t […]
Well, i thought it was time to introduce myself. I’m a girl, sixteen years and I’m from The Netherlands (Please don’t mind my spelling and grammar) . My nickname (Engeltje) is Dutch and it means (Little) Angel. I live in the area of Amsterdam (I guess most of you know Amsterdam :P) . I live with my parents and an older sister. So that’s the general part and now a part that goes about my life. Okay, I’ll try to keep it short, so I will only tell the most important things.
I don’t know how it goes in the USA, but in The Netherlands […]
Dear word,
I know you don’t know me. And the words that I’m about to say may mean nothing to you and you just may not care. I am a female that goes by EmoCookie its an old nickname and I am 18 years old. I have depression. I see people to get help, but that doesn’t seem to be working but I will give it more time. I am an on and off cutter. I cry. I try to smile when I can. I’m failing school and I dont know what to do about that. I’m lost be on repair. My dad is […]
Feeling lonely. I hate it. Sick of feeling isolated from everything.