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There was a time years ago when I was so depressed, I cried myself to sleep every night but everyday, I smiled. I was a clown who couldn’t wash off her make-up. I didnt really know myself, a girl I was “in love” with broke my heart, lied to me and led me on. And yes, it sent me further into depression. I did some drugs, pills. I drank some, vodka. But really, what depressed me the most is everyone thought I was fine and looking back now, I know thats what really bothered me. My family thought I was fine, hell, everyone thought I was fine. […]
For those who’ve kept up with my post. I almost cut last night but chose to make this video about self harm. The pictures are of my self harm they are graphic so if your easily triggered please dont watch.
Leave your comments on the video do you like it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH0xxe3Kra0&feature=youtu.be
needs all of you.
For as long as I remember, the darkness has been a comfort and a haven to me, my only one really, when I was little I never crawled in my Mums bed. I never had a nightmare when I slept in the dark. It’s tranquil and still, I knows some people are afraid of the dark and I know there are reasons for that.
I think the dark holds no terror for me because I always carry a little of the shadow with me, granted sometimes it’s a real ***** to manage and sometimes I break down but the dark is always there in the […]
I wish life wasn’t getting harder for anyone. I wish I could make strength from pain for everyone to endure. I wish there was someone who decided to take these problems into huge consideration. As life continues more and more people who need this site haven’t heard of it and problems get worse. I want a cure for these painful endurances. Not medication.not suicide. Not just speaking or in this case typing but something different. If we can show the world how bad it sucks to be in our shoes will things change? I want me wish to be a dream… then it will […]
I have always seen life as a quest. It works like a game plan. Every level gets tougher and the monsters and hurdles get more and more dangerous and difficult to cross. I don’t regret having my life but all I wish is to have someone who I can share it with. I did fall in love and then ended up with a crushed heart when the relationship ended. Occupying yourself definitely helps but the loneliness remains. I have plenty of friends but I miss the existence of the special one. Work can substitute thoughts but not feelings. I don’t know what I feel about […]
I tell myself that if I cut its not worthit. Â All it causes is questions I don’t want to answer. Yet I still get the razor and cut just enough to feel the pain of what’s eating me inside. See the blood fall on my bare skin showing that I’m still in this cruel world called : Hell
The SP House
Chapter 1: Paradise Lost
Looking out into the horizon, the sun slowly disappeared, it’s warm embrace being replaced by the cool, quiet moon. The sky, once blue and vast, changed to orange, red and purple and then to black, then allowing the stars to shine through. Looking down, she saw the foggy depths of the abyss, but the familiar sound of waves crashing could be heard. Down there, one could fall and die after splattering among jagged rocks, or even survive and end up in the water, just to wash up on shore and try to get back home tired and groggy. And disappointed…
Those […]
The truth I hold, took years to unfold, locked up and never told. Now I speak, for I am done being weak. A story I will tell, awakening the pits of my hell.
 Pinned against the wall, being six a little small. Tongue against my chest, you can imagine the rest. Touching, feeling, my eyes rolling to the ceiling. I push away, forced down, screaming, but i was never found.
 Day and night, always full of fright kissing, sucking, nonstop fucking. Crying, weeping and always pleading.
Was I that bad of a […]
I’m the broken one who fixed it. 3 years of restraint. 12 years of battleing depression. 16 years of living. Physically and mentally I struggle but refuse to stay down. Life is ment to end yes but what will you make of it. Will you be another suicide story in the news? Or will you be the success story that is the broken one able to fix it? That’s a story id like to read. So tell me. Will you fight or fail? Fail like the others that slipped from my finger tips? Or will you fight to be better then what monster […]
When I’m feeling the most down, I try not to look sad.
I absoultly hate when people pity your life.  It has to be the worse thing.
Which is why you smile.
“Are you alright Elisabeth?”
“Oh yeah absoultly.”
Just smile, and hope that one day everything will actually be aliright(:
I said hope, I don’t know if that’ll actually happen.
When i made this cut i was scared. I had just traded an ounce of weed for a brand new box cutter, a kid bought me from home depot. Stupid i know i could have got it myself but with your dad watching you every moment of the day it was kinda hard. I said it was for protection.. protection from my thoughts.. but he gave it to me. No other questions ask even knowing my history.
I went home a couple days past and then me and my parents got in a huge fight. With […]
Theres a girl … she doesnt know how to handle things… everythings spirling out of control… sometimes she can convince herself that shes not really alive… maybe shes in a nightmare.. and she just cant wake up..?
You’d never guess her secret if you knew here.. she hides it so well… she seems so happy… do you want to know her secret..? She cuts herself. She doesnt know why… and she doesnt understand why she resolved to it.. but one thing she knows is SHE CANT STOP.. but […]
last night i overdosed but i didn’t succeed. i ended up and the er with all kinds of people trying to talk to me. all i wanted was to just sleep, and drift away peacefully. i got to come home about 12:00 p.m. i slept all afternoon, i never made it back up it mhmr, so now they will be at my house at 9 in the morning. i am trying to decide if in the morning when they come if i should check myself into a facility to get help for these feelings or what i should do. my caseworker with cps already […]
( this all happened to me. but I’m going to put it in story form. sorry if its not perfect. I am only 12. Sorry if there is inappropriate things in here that you.think a 12 yearold should.not be saying)It’s so cold outside. It’s about 30 degrees outside. I’m walking down the non crowded highway. I pass Gary’s the gas station and then the bank. I walk down anothera road and then stop. I just can’t move. I fall to.the ground. I black out. I wake up.about an hour later in a car. I’m being drove out.to the country. wth is going on. the car […]
Today, well it was a better day then yesterday.
I stayed home from school ‘cuz I woke up depressed. But, spending the day doing nothing didnt make me feel any better.
Im just as lonely and sad as I was yesterday. Since i didnt do anything I thought alot. And I realized my friends really dont like me. I mean in high school you dont really make that many new friends, you just drop a few old ones, and keep a few old ones..
And I realized I need a new friend.. So, anybody reading this (if anyone is still actually reading my boring post)
.. Have i ever thought i’d get to this point no.. im only 14 why am i here. What did i do to deserve this. I guess this is the time i’d share my story right? Exsplain it all get it out, wipe my slate clean. But im sure none of you care to hear my story. So if you dont stop reading, its not gonna be a happy one.
I was 3 when my mom kidnapped me, she abused me every day tried to kill me once out of jealousy, cause after i was born no one gave her attention anymore. Great mom right? after […]
Everyday I’m not with you,
I die a little inside.
I will not die without you,
but it sure feels that way sometimes.
Your abscence is quite obvious somedays,
other days it’s just the little things.
Wanna know what gets me always?
Those little things.
Eyes like the sky,
clear blue with a tint of gold from the sun.
Lips that always ask why.
The times that we would just run.
Everyday I’m not with you,
I feel a little stronger.
I won’t die without you,
but I will live much longer.
Your overbearing ways,
keeping me from my friends.
Those Friday night that I had to stay;
Stay home and wait for you and your demands.
Demands that were only “requests”
Things of your “Preference”.
Requests […]
I will not be sending it to him. Igot ALOT of responses not to and they all gave really really good reaaons why I should not. So thank you to chose that helped!
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