Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

2

getting closer to suicide

March 30th, 2009by homeoffice

I’ve read a couple of posts and I think its great that people have a chance to express themselves and get others to help. I’ve tried to fill myself 4 or 5 times now and I havent been able to do it. I know that most people have issues and that they find it difficult to talk to someone or maybe feel that there is no way out.

I never believed in suicide and I always thought that anyone that tired to kill themselves was selfish and that they didn’t think of the people around them that could help. At the very worst I thought you …

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12

A DECONSTRUCTED LIFE

March 28th, 2009by deliriousgirl

Yesterday was my brother’s birthday.

My brother, who would have been 47 years old, committed suicide by hanging himself from his attic trapdoor in the hallway of his house on December 15th, 2008.  He left no note, no explanation, no message of any kind.  Since his death I’ve had the near-obsession of recreating his life from the scraps that were left.  An email here and there (I was able to hack into his computers), a receipt from Home Depot (for rope, plastic zip ties, and a metal pole) that was dated four weeks prior, bills and business files, phone calls and messages on his cellphone, the …

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1

love hurts

March 23rd, 2009by mattman375

I was going ou with Sarah for 3years 4 months. we had our ups and downs just like any normal people. Her life was not a good one but i was there to make it better for her. She wanted to be a veterinary nurses i tryed to help her get to her dream job but couldn’t. so in the ned she did give up on it.

It got to the ponit there I wanted to be with her for the rest of my left but i wanted to be a good husband and get it so that i could look after her and have a …

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2

I’m Not Quite Sure.

March 22nd, 2009by forrealzkaitlyn

 I think it all happened in seventh grade. I met this wonderful girl, her name was Patricia. I first met her in drama class, she had brought this razor to class and was cutting up her notebook. All I could think of was the razor I played with last night cutting into my wrists again and again. I slowly fell for her, she didn’t even help me up. I was so near to telling her how I had felt, but she told me about this guy, they were going out and she was inlove with him. . . She tore my heart out, squised it …

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2

so confused

March 21st, 2009by soconfused

I dont know what im going to do without her. She was my bestfriend at least i thought. I wasted 3 years of my life in some friendship. You might say friendships come and go.. but ill tell you why this one was diffrent. We were more then friends at one point. She started it and i went along with it just so happy that someone loved me. One night when she stayed the night she put her arm around me and that was it. Its as much as my fault as it is hers i didnt stop anything. Nothing serious ever happened just cuddling

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3

numb

March 18th, 2009by greatwar

as a child beaten and unloved, told to leave and never to return.

alone and desperate for love, let in love, well what i thought was love, to be let down and left with two wonderfull children, but still wanted to be loved and wanted to be wanted, let love in again, to be beaten and abused, no one to help, let down by everyone,  12 years long years, trying to hide it form my (now three) children, lost in the divorce, hunted out of my home, relocated, in poverty, no fridge, cooker, carpets, and baillifs around tomorow to take what i have left.

iam numb, i …

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3

My story-ish

February 17th, 2009by Stonecolddeadinside

I know that people always say, “Oh it’ll be okay” and “Oh I’m so sorry”. They say all these things that just don’t help. But when you need it the most, there’s always one person, who’ll actually say something that helps.

I’ve lost a lot of things, Family, friends, the love of my life, and even the will to live. It hurts when someone you love lies to you, or your family disowns you.

A few months ago, I got in trouble with the law for my brother’s Marijuana in my car. I made the illogical decision to let him smoke in my car before …

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4

Spiralling downward. I think I’m loosing all I have left.

February 10th, 2009by Kuddles

“Is a hug and three short words, really too much? Or am I loosing him, all I have left? After loosing my mother, my father, and being separated from my sister am I loosing him too? I just don’t think I can take it.”

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1

is this it?

February 5th, 2009by meggzieMasqueraded

is this it??
is this all we have,, all we live for??
sometimes,, it doesnt seem quite enoughh..
also,, if it is,, then whyy do we suffer like this??

im now going to bore youu withh myy storyy althoughh i hope some people realise theyy are not the onlyy ones out there& if anyone ever needs anyyone to talkk to,, im here..

it started when i was about eight.. i was myy birthdayy& i went swimming withh some of myy friends.. it was great fun,, until myy mum got called out… i will never forget the tears& the lookk on here face when she came backk.. a lookk of pure

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2

My life has come to this?

February 4th, 2009by Terrified

A year ago, I was happy. Good grades, tons of friends, just started middle school. It was good.

Now, at 12, almost 13, I’m cutting myself, and having suicidal thoughts almost every day.

I don’t know how it got here, though.

My grandmother and brother died in the course of one month, but thats not it. Or at least I don’t think it is.

I guess it started as just a spur-of-the-moment thing. I started seventh grade with RSD, RA, Pain syndrome, and fucked-up nerves in my right arm. I’m in pain 24/7. And it’s not just small pain, …

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4

can someone help me

February 3rd, 2009by eric3034

i dont know what to do my step dad is yelling at me when i did not do any thing i am 17 lets see well it starts when i was litel my dad left my mom sexually abused me and my bother was in juvey for drugs and all my friends are neglectful i am picked on and i don’t think i can make it this time and my mom doesn’t care for me i have attempted to kill my self 3 times and faled cus some one walked in i cant see my rist all that i …

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5

Suicide.

February 2nd, 2009by Dave.

I feel out of options. I am a 16 year old guy and I am actually thinking of suicide. It’s ridiculous, and I know this, but I am in a lot of pain.

On April 27, 2007, (during my freshman year of high school) I began dating a girl. She was a senior at the time, and is beautiful. I didn’t know at the time, but I would eventually fall deeply in love with this girl. She was my first everything. Real girlfriend, kiss, and she even took my virginity. This girl was my world.

Flash forward to January 3rd, 2009. Out of seemingly nowhere, she breaks …

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2

i wonder if she made it

January 21st, 2009by estoy_triste

this is in memory of my bestfriend Angel R.I.P i miss u mama

we grew up together. from the time i was born untill i was 14, she was two years older than me but we were bestfriends. i loved her like a sister an she loved me more than words could explain.. her mom did drugs (crack) an angel never wanted to go home.. we would sit outside untill it got dark.. then i had to go home.. as we got older we grew closer.. she was the first person i got high with. she was the first person i ran away with ha …

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0

My Hamster Wheel

January 17th, 2009by btru2utoo

Family – Grad School – Career – Children – Friends – Volunteering – Pets – Chores – Homework

It is like being in a hamster wheel – exhausting – constant – never ending

But, I am all smiles, say the right things, act the right way, look the right way – 4.0 , suck up at work, good to my one living parent, devoted wife, adoring mommy…

Everyone always wants another piece of me. How much can I give? During these times, I turn off my switch. I am in my twenties now and I have learned how to go numb.

Some thoughts you cannot …

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2

Same Story Different Verse

January 9th, 2009by lyra

Does suicide haunt some families? Like a theif in the night, stealing the sanity of it’s victims. In 1975 my grandfather died by suicide. No warning, no goodbyes. That very day I told him I was going to give him his first great grandchild. He told me he wanted a 9 lb baby with the family dimple in the chin and he wanted a boy. He hung himself that night with his own belt in the downstairs shower. We were all devastated. I had that 9 lb baby, a boy, with the family dimple. I named him after my grandpa that I loved dearly. …

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0

i will never understand why?

December 11th, 2008by letticy

i just wanted to write to try and help someone who might be thinking of taking thier own life …. i was 23 when my dad decided that he didn want to be here anymore . I was due to get married 3 months later and my dad had been in the pub the night before (not drunk or so the postmortem said) and was telling everyone how he was looking forward to me getting married . He didnt leave a note , there was no obvious reason why , one day he was here the next day he was gone …..x

Then my life changed …

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0

hopeless

December 8th, 2008by givhana

i am feeling like everything that i do is wrong and my parents are having marrige problems and i watched my momdye and i am still in love with my x girlfriend ai dated for 4 years and my dad and mom think that i can just stop feeling deppressed and my girl now is some help in dealing with my thoughts and i feel like it is my fault that my mom died when i was 16 and then my aunt terri died and my grandparents on both sides of my family died and then my unborn child and one of my x s …

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0

please

December 5th, 2008by ------

people love you
people care about you
people dont want to see you hurting

my dad didnt know that …he was ill, clinically depressed, i couldnt save him

i was only 10 but i feel the hurt every single day and im now 17
i have depression myself …but i refuse to let it beat me …i will not hurt people the way he hurt me … even though i love him i still hate him for what he did ..
i must sound like such a horrible person but i do hate him ='[[ it hurts me so much but i do …i cant help it …

i have an amzing …

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0

The Unforgiven Father

December 5th, 2008by stephanie

Hi my name is Stephanie. My father is someone you cant forgive right away. He’s always on my back, “Stephanie do this, Stephanie dont do that, Stephanie your stupid, Stephanie your an idiot, Stephanie jus go in a corner an die.” he never say;s anymore, “Good job Stephanie, I love you, your gorgeous, or Stephanie your a great sister.” Now it’s, “what’s wrong with you?, why are you so damn dumb?, why cant you jus be yourself anymore?” All I can think about is what is life like on the other side? I’ve tried many times to commit suicide. I havent actually followed threw with …

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0

Prepare for the Dark Side

September 28th, 2008by Christa

The majority of my life was spent in and out of a state of depression (I had my own zip code) and often, I was quite manic. I regularly experienced suicidal thoughts. I spent years thinking life sucked with a big fat capital “S“. In my mind life was a jail and often I thought about breaking free. I generally lived under a big ugly dark black cloud of my own making.

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