Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

26

Help for a plan to kill myself?

  June 26th, 2009 by youngblood

I’ve tried to kill myself so hard! In many times. I just wanna die, but I don’t know how. I mean, I need a plan to execute. Make a plan, I don’t know.. Some times life is a fuck contest of status, or beauty.. I can’t see my life better than.. that. My whole life was a fuck lie, and I have never seen one reason to live. I have never a relationship goodness, I don’t have friends, I mean.. I do, but its not the point. Isn’t my life, I don’t have plan for the future, I aways think in die, or something like that. I …

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3

I Plan but I don’t Execute

  June 25th, 2009 by bigred1221

I’ve thought about committing suicide for the past year of my life.  I’ve thought about cutting my wrists but have decided that would be too bloody and painful.  I’ve thought about jumping in front of a Semi, but then I couldn’t do it because of the compassion I felt for the poor sorry bastard driving the truck.  I’ve thought about shooting myself, but the only guns in the house belong to my dad, and I sure as hell am not dying by embedding one of his bullets in my brain; he got me here in the first place, and I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he has succeeded in killing me …

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1

Cant believe it..

  June 14th, 2009 by hatethisworld

I found out tuesday that my uncle commited suicide…he hung himself from a tree.  God he was brave and the best person in the world. I dont understand why he wanted to die.  I understand why I want to die…I have nothing going for me.  I have thought about killing myself since I was 13… I will be 19 in less then a month.  And I havent thought about killing myself in about 4 months…but since my uncle did it I feel like I want to again. Like I feel like I gave up on the only thing I have wanted to do for such …

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3

They said it would go away with time…

  June 13th, 2009 by luke5119

I guess I’ll start off with a quick synopsis of who I am before I start explaining what is that’s making me feel suicidal.  To start my name is Luke, I’m 19 and I live in St. Louis Missouri, have my whole life.  I graduated highschool a little over a year ago and I’m currently going to ITT Tech.  I’m overall a middle of the road kinda guy on almost everything.  B average student, somewhat attractive, funny at times, etc.  Just normal.

Anyway as of late I’ve been feeling pretty bad.  Actually I haven’t felt this bad in a long time.  For some reason I’ve been …

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3

  June 3rd, 2009 by pammy

I really have no excuse; I have a good job, one I worked hard to get, I have money in the bank and few debts. I am reasonably healthy, although a little overweight! I have two children, boys, one employed one in college. I even own my own home.

So let me tell you a tale of woe, and you can judge me for yourselves.

Fourteen years ago I lost my husband to a sudden, unexpected heart attack. My parents did not bother to offer support until made to by my siblings, who were great at that time.My boys were only six and two.

Then I found out …

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0

My friend that is my suicide

  June 2nd, 2009 by Suicidal

” I’ve often thought of suicide as my anwser. But now i regret it. I Slit my wrist way to deep all the blood rushes from my gentle body as i lay crimped up on the floor i wonder if anyone even cares. My funeral was horrible no one even bother to release a tear. not one. No one came to claim me as there’s. No boys seem to take a look when i walk by they just go on&on about the measly lives of the tiredness of the others with in the room. No counselor seems to listen when i scream at the top of …

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4

Keeping him with me…

  May 19th, 2009 by foreverinhisdebt

People used to tell me not to cry for someone, for they are not worth your tears. The one who was worth your tears would have never made you cry. I didn’t believe in that sh*t. I met this person, and fell madly in love with him because of how kind and caring he was. I was certain we would always be together, because we always talked about getting married and having kids. Mind you, I’m 16, and he’s 18. So yes, we were young. But I loved him. While we were together, I was constantly getting bombed by my all too perfect stepmother about

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1

My Fathers Suicide in 2008

  May 18th, 2009 by kmk784

MY STORY

By Kelli Pedrick-Karlton

Written in 2009, a little over a year after my Dads suicide…

Late one January morning in 2008, I fell asleep on the sofa, something I rarely did and haven’t done since.  The kids were all over me and the house as I slept, but I managed to get a good nap in.  I was awaken to my house phone ringing, then my cell phone ringing, again the house, again the cell.  I thought it was

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0

Silver Tongues Speak Only Lies

  May 17th, 2009 by FallenAngel

Ive always lied. Everyone does. At first its just the small things. But then it gets bigger.

Im flunking the 8th grade, but my dad thinks im fine.

Ask me if im ok? ill say sure. ill think, bc im ending this soon anyway

my parents are devorsed and just reasently my dad got into another devorce, but i woulnt use that as a reason. A couple years ago I think I cried so much(EVERY FRICKING DAY!!!!UGH!!!) that i cant do that when im sad anymore… I just always have this door in the back of my mind thats shut with all this negative stuff locked up inside. It …

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16

Goodbye Cruel World

  May 13th, 2009 by Eddie1331

So is it so bad to be a gay male.. Yes it is, from how I’m treated.  You’d think I was a fucking childmolesting murderer for how the people at school treat me.  But no, just gay.  It’s my senior year of high school too and you think it’d be the best but it has undeniably been the worst.  I never knew that coming out would have such negative consequences. WTF was I thinking!  I live in Montana in a small town FULL of homophobes.  And everyone knows that I am gay so that past five months since I did come out have been hell. Everyday I go through the same ritual …

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1

Breaking Down @ Every Corner

  May 11th, 2009 by joshuadpeterson

I imagine myself as the boy stumbling out of the bar at 3AM alone and walking home. I don’t know what “home” is anymore, but I’m going to walk there, drunk and abandoned. And at some point, I’ll start singing a few songs that remind me of him.

I wish I could say I’m so sorry. I wish I could say I love him to him. I wish he felt the slightest bit of remorse for every time he said I meant less than nothing to him. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and find his car parked outside my house, knocking on the door, …

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3

7,7,7,0

  May 10th, 2009 by AbsentFeeling

I forgot about everything. Just a total blank out and then I fell apart. Tears were pouring down my face. When my mom finally came back from work we decided to go for a car drive. She said, as she often does, that something wasn’t quite right about me. Then she asked if I was at all suicidal. I quickly told her no, hoping to hear what would happen if I had said yes. She did a small cough/laugh and said that if I said yes I would go straight to the Mental Hospital. I know for sure that I couldn’t talk to her about …

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5

Untitled

  May 10th, 2009 by painterofmusic

No one is going to read this. I don’t know why I came back here to this website. I figured I never would after I found it the first time, but here I go again… This is exactly like when I found out I was pregnant, to a T; I was going to end my life, but then, an opportunity presented itself. I saw what might be a reason to live. Judging by before, assuming that the past paints a pretty good portrait of the future, I’ll be worse off than before. If I had gone through with everything before, I wouldn’t be hurting this way …

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3

Career Loss

  May 7th, 2009 by softexcel

Many people have lost everything through this recession…  I lost my job and career ‘two recessions ago’ and cannot obtain work to save my life.  Am well educated, an engineer.  But my family is poor, so no trust fund :)   The pain of being ostracized from society and having a career ripped from my hands is so painful that I want to die.  Age discrimination, racism, sexual harrassment, chauvinism, many nasty things go on in the field of engineering.  One must have a skin made of titanium to survive the games, especially if one is a woman.  The women in engineering do not always support

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1

What has happened to me?

  April 23rd, 2009 by howmuchcanibear

I am a 39 year old female, who has worked hard my whole life and up till a few years ago could not have been prouder of where I was, and how far I had came. I have never been in trouble with the law, and have been with my husband for over 20 years, and could never think of life any other way. Till 3 years ago. I had a siezure. I had not had any health problems at all before that, but after that first one, I had 3 more within 2 months. After many, many different doctors, we never found out why. …

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3

From someone who has loved…lost…heartbroken….and is slowly picking up the pieces…

  April 21st, 2009 by kay

In September my mum took her own life, she brought me up as a single teenage mum and made my life as amazing as she possibly could. She went back to school, achieved a business degree and got a great job helping small nurseries improve their business and the standard of child care. She was a beautiful, intelligent, creative, funny, loving and much loved woman…my heroine and inspiration. She also suffered varying degrees of depression throughout her life and tragically last summer had a nervous breakdown – sadly due to the stress of her job and bullying in it. She

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5

It’s Hard to Believe That it Came to This…

  April 21st, 2009 by drearyvampire

Oh god. I hate myself. I hate myself and everyone and everything around me. Where do I start?

My issues started when my mum and identical twin died in my old American habitat. I was 5. Then my dad made us move to England, where I started school. I never fitted in. I was always an outcast. They bully me mercilessly, still to this day. Then in 2008, I met my future boyfriend. His name was Stefan and he was Italian. We were together for 4 months, when I said I loved him. Do you know how painful it is to tell someone you love them and …

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3

Gone

  April 17th, 2009 by mickey-12-2015

I am only 12. at age 12 my brothers freind at age 18 tryed to rape me. His name is Bidy and right know i am scared to even have a boyfreind. many times i have held a razor blade to my wrist. two cuts and it would all be over. Their is a s on my leg that will be there for forever. The S stands for my best freind first letter in her name Sammy. oh god i love that girl she is like my sister. I have started middle school, and am in track. i cut and cut and cut but it …

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1

inpending doom

  April 7th, 2009 by hopeless72

Last week my husband came to see me so that we could talk. Well he came back the next day and then stayed the nite on friday nite. He had told me we were sole mates and would be together for the rest of our lives. I had to work on saturday so he went to help his mother with yard work. He sent me a text message staing he would be to my house after i got off work at 6. He then sent another text message about two hours later that asked me if i would be upset if he didnt come over

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4

Lost Love

  April 5th, 2009 by Scarlet

I am a 14 year old boy, and I had fallen in love with a 16 year old girl, and she had fallen in love with me. We dated for months, and I think most would call our relationship unhealthily obsessive. We spent literally most of every day together, and we could barely bear to be away from eachother. We both thought about the other frequently, and we’d claimed that we always wondered if we were thinking about eachother at the same time. I always forgave her for everything and felt horrible when she gave up something for my sake, such as canceling something to …

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