Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

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love of a lifetime loss

  June 20th, 2008 by MJ

For the past 18 years I have been depressed off and on. I am now 31. Never been married and I don’t have any children. I am actually pretty successful compared to my friends and relatives. 8 years ago, the love of my life passed away suddenly from a motorcycle accident. The pain– the pain– the pain. I hurt everyday. I don’t think that I can have a “normal” romantic relationship with anyone because I still love him. He was the love of my life. I never told him how I really felt. Nor have …

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Bah

  June 16th, 2008 by yutz

I’m in my mid-thirties, I’ve got a decent career, money in the bank, girlfriend, no major responsibilities other than getting my current projects in on time, no major health problems yet, yet I think of suicide almost daily.

Nothing feels good. I’ve got the trappings of a good life, but I get no reward from it, which magnifies the day-to-day obstacles and makes them a thousand times worse. Most people’s status quo is to be generally happy. It feels like my status quo is to be in a state of despair, or panic. Socialization doesn’t feel good. Work doesn’t feel good. I’ve started taking antidepressants, …

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Fight for life…

  June 13th, 2008 by faerie

It’s never easy to think of suicide as just to end your life. It’s more than just slitting your wrist, popping pills, poisoning by gas fumes or running over a cliff.

my entire life, i’ve been nothing but a huge scar. You see a sweet girl one day, then you start to see what sort of pain is really hiding inside of my heart.

I am very anemic and my heart is very weak. I couldn’t breathe sometimes due to post-traumatic stress. I had 3 blood transfusions in the past and one day may need heart surgery. But I lived with this torn heart.

I …

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I’m Sorry

  June 12th, 2008 by pauldugan13

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY

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Living on …..

  June 7th, 2008 by shumph

I now look back and realize that I have been suffering from different degree’s of anxiety and depression over a number of years, from a number of triggers.

My story, I hope, will give people hope and let them live through my experience. I am a normal person and if anyone of my close friends or work colleagues were asked to describe me, I would certainly know they would say that I have a super positive attitude, have a great sense of humour, always happy and always willing to do anything for anybody.
A very normal happy person……..of which many look at me as a role …

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People

  June 6th, 2008 by Xgothikal-emo-bbeX

It was verry hard goin to high school,meeting new people for the first time but I knew I wouldn’t fit in with these people.My mum was a lesbian.People soon found out and I was tormented by it.I felt I couldn’t deal with all the trouble as well as my school work. It was causing my grades to fall dramaticaly and I wouldn’t tell no one.I was afraid , thinking people would class me the same.People found it funny to be bullying me and it was causing me to self harm.I hid the cuts by using make-up.I thought it would be better to end my life …

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I’m Sorry I am NOW Happy

  June 3rd, 2008 by pauldugan13

I’m Sorry..

EAT DOG SHIT FOREVER !!!!!!

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Its my fault

  June 1st, 2008 by blonde

I once thought i was coping well till i hit rock bottom It started when i was about 14 when i got beat up and we moved away from the area i grow up in i was never close to my mum so all i had was my dad but then he got cancer i becambe his carer he was only 44 he was young i never thought i’d lose him but in 2001 he died i was there when he died and from that moment on i was on my own no one held me and gave me support i felt like i had …

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I don’t know who is going to read this

  May 27th, 2008 by terynbaugh

Hi I just have been feeling the need to share my story with someone and this seems the place to do. I am 25 years old I have two children and a year ago I tried to kill myself. It is something that has become an everyday question as to was it really that bad that I needed to end my own life. Well at the time it was but now I realize that it would have stop my pain but only increased the pain of my family. I understand that everyone is different, but from first hand experience I am …

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Seeking help takes courage.

  May 18th, 2008 by thankful

I don’t know who will read this.

In part I’d like to thank the people\persons responsible for this site. I found you when I needed you the most. Glad you took the time to be here for me.

October 30, 2006 almost became the last day of my life. I was at a fork in the road of life. On one side was death by my own hand, on the other, the unknown. Would seeking help cost me my job, my career, my house, everything I’d worked so hard to achieve? Although not much …

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I guess I’m a Suicide Survivor

  May 15th, 2008 by Brooke

OK so I’m “Brooke” and I am 16 years old, 17 in September. I come from a very wealthy and affluent family and I seem to have it all. Yet deep down inside I am absolutely insane and dark. I’m not afraid to show people this side of me but I know If I were to show people this side of me I would be completely misunderstood and I would rather not have people try to understand me. It’s a natural human characteristic to over analyze situations and ask the question “why.” Sometimes there just isn’t a “why” for things. I would just rather have …

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I guess I’m a Suicide Survivor

  May 15th, 2008 by Brooke

OK so I’m “Brooke” and I am 16 years old, 17 in September. I come from a very wealthy and affluent family and I seem to have it all. Yet deep down inside I am absolutely insane and dark. I’m not afraid to show people this side of me but I know If I were to show people this side of me I would be completely misunderstood and I would rather not have people try to understand me. It’s a natural human characteristic to over analyze situations and ask the question “why.” Sometimes there just isn’t a “why” for things. I would just rather have …

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witness

  May 14th, 2008 by Survivor

Today happens to be my 34th birthday. I have been a survivor of debilitating depression since I was 19. I have forgotten the person I was. After 14 years of severe depression and all of the questions all of the odd looks all of the hopelessness and pain. All of those wasted years and potential. I am starting to feel better. Dr.s seemed to always give me a drug of limited effect in an insufficient dose and left me out to pasture. Higher doses of prescription drugs are what is helping me.
How the heck do I know how normal I should feel now after …

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My story

  May 1st, 2008 by Mary

I write because I am hoping that by simply writing, this intention will fade. Thirteen years ago, my father committed suicide. Soon afterwards, I made my first suicidal attempt. Two other suicidal gestures followed the attempt. At that time, I was seeing a psychologist twice a week. Now, years later, I not only do not have the financial means to seek psychological help, I feel less inclined to want to seek it. I have recently relocated to a new area. I am near sixty years old. My motivation for moving was to be closer to my …

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My story

  May 1st, 2008 by Mary

I write because I am hoping that by simply writing, this intention will fade. Thirteen years ago, my father mmitted suicide. Soon afterwards, I made my first suicidal attempt. Two other suicidal gestures followed the attempt. At that time, I was seeing a psychologist twice a week. Now, years later, I not only do not have the financial means to seek psychological help, I feel less inclined to want to seek it. I have recently relocated to a new area. I am near sixty years old. My motivation for moving was to be closer to my …

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Stop the Bullies

  April 29th, 2008 by StoptheBullies

I wouldn’t be the first or the last to commit suicide because of bullies. I’m intelligent. Talented. Get along well everywhere but in the office. My boss, a freak who was fired from a job 20 years ago for molesting dead bodies in a funeral home likes to send me out to accident scenes (I’m a journalist) to take body photos. He’s sick. It’s bad enough I have to go to fatalities, fires, murders, shootings and brains on the street but when I come back all they do is laugh and joke about it. None of them have to go. They sit around and joke …

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Balls.

  April 19th, 2008 by Ox

I’m not a social person. I don’t like being around people. Most of the time I think they’re judging me, thinking I’m weird or going to talk about me behind my back. I know they won’t but I think it anyway. So I avoid any kind of social situation. I just sit in my room all day…

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I am a disgrace and I am going to kill myself soon.

  March 6th, 2008 by mail704

I’m a student. all through high school and university and when I go around I am frequently approached by fairly attractive females. I send them all away because I am so frightened of them. The female teachers hit on me too as well as male homosexuals. I’ve never had a girlfriend and am still a virgin. I’ve spent a lot of time practising playing the guitar. Now I am pretty good. However I never go play for anyone because I’m so frightened. I played some songs for groups of people at school, college, in clubs etc. and was good. However I am just so frightened …

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third attempt

  December 13th, 2007 by coverinthebases

The cut was small.
And then it became deeper
and deeper
and deeper
The shiny white tendon in my arm began to burn as the blade took one nick after another.
The vien, like a hose, shot steady streams of blood onto the ground of my balcany like a pool.
Putting out one cigarette after another into the mirror of crimson liquid.

My cat walked by in the yard below, and all I could think was “Who is going to feed you if I die?”

Do any of you know what it feels like to have to clean up your own blood from a bathroom floor?
Do any of you know what it feels …

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It Came Back.

  November 4th, 2007 by Grey.

It came back. That cloud. The heavy, dark, consuming cloud of hopelessness. I have tried to kill myself on two occassions. Both using medication used to treat depression. Both times would have been successful had I not been found terribly drugged up. The second time I had a seizure as a result and lost a bit of my memory. How I wish I had lost more. I was in the hospital for months, “getting better.”. Then I got out, got another job, started upgrading some courses, even started having dreams again. That was a big sign for me that I had made it. I had …

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