Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

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It Came Back.

November 4th, 2007by Grey.

It came back. That cloud. The heavy, dark, consuming cloud of hopelessness. I have tried to kill myself on two occassions. Both using medication used to treat depression. Both times would have been successful had I not been found terribly drugged up. The second time I had a seizure as a result and lost a bit of my memory. How I wish I had lost more. I was in the hospital for months, “getting better.”. Then I got out, got another job, started upgrading some courses, even started having dreams again. That was a big sign for me that I had made it. I had …

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is this what we live for?

May 30th, 2007by themiserymachine

I sit here in this place of quiet and great knowledge. I sit here and I listen to the voices of those around me. Yet, I feel silence. The voices are distant. Far away from me, just like myself. Of course, I hear their words, but they mean nothing, as they have for so long. Until you feel the empty, you don’t know the meaning of alone. You don’t know the meaning of fear. They talk, and they live, and they love. They do not know these feelings that I feel. They do not experience …

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I just wish it was over

April 11th, 2007by kakky1950

I don’t think I would ever have the guts to do myself in, but I’m so very tired, I have much to be thankful for, but have suffered such loss. My mother died of cancer when I was 17, my father was murdered when I was 32, I am a cancer survivor and a single mother. My daughter is 26 and back home after a failed marriage. Mercifully, there are no children from her marriage, but mountains of debt. I have been at the same job in the county where I live for 32 1/2 years. I have the time …

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October 17th, 2006by Rachel

I live everyday felling sorry for myself, well i know that people must have it worse off but i just need this nightmare to be over, it’s like a vulture feeding off my flesh and any left happiness is being sucked out of me like a wirlpool of terror. The feeling gets stronger each day, and theres no-one i can talk to about it.
Thinking back to when i was younger, well it’s not hard, it only started a few years ago, it was so easy. But trying to imagine back to when my body was full of live, when i could walk around the …

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Alone

July 12th, 2006by jabmanc1987

i find it hard to write this, i feel silly as i have not had a hard life, my family is not extremely wealthy but we do ok, i had a good education and im now at univeristy. i suffered badly from depression wen i was younger and used to cut myself and attempted suicide a few times, although never seriosuly i think. however i thought id sorted myself out. yet since i have come home from uni 4 the summer i can feel myself slipping back into m old ways. i have started cutting again, which is so hard 4 me coz i cant …

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ridiculous

June 23rd, 2006by iamsickofthisalready

So it is all sort of really pointless if you really want to give someone a wake up call and you know better because people don’t change. Don’t put your head in a clothes bag in the closet and then bang on the wall when you start to lose air. He isn’t coming. He already heard you [sic- me] hitting your [my] head against the headboard about a 1000 times trying to knock yourself [myself] out (by the way he is in the loft next door and there are thin walls) and ignored you [me] then. He knew I probably wouldn’t have the courage and …

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i wish it was all over

September 11th, 2005by lostandhopeless

i rememeber the first mornin wen i woke up from getting of that plane, i was crying, shaking, dissrrientated. i had just flown from my home to another country, leavin my friends my familys, my life, to start over agaun. i didnt wana go i wanted to stay but i couldnt. wen i came i started using drugs, but that fuked up my mum, she got depression and ended up into hospital numerous time, so did my friend, she had an eating disorder and tried suicide numerous times. i found this so hard to deal and i wanted to die to, but i couldnt, …

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Everything is different behind a smile….

April 4th, 2005by Jraffles07

People think happiness is just found behind a smile, but behind a smile is alot more than happiness. For the past 15 and a half years I have hidden behind my smile. I have hidden my tears, my thoughts, and my fear of death. The habit of hidding my feelings began at a young age. As a young kid, I never really thought there was a need to express an opinion. Suicide was just a joke to me and thought nothing of it. When I was just five years old my mother filed for a divorce. By the time I …

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Tired of Living and ready to Die

March 5th, 2005by Essb

I dont know why I am writing here, it feels like waste of time. Pretty much how my life is anyway, a big waste of time. I ussually keep things inside because I believe people dont really care about much anyway other than to feel superior when someone else has problems. I never trusted people much anyway, lets face it people have instincts as much as animals, they will cut your throat to save there hide in most cases. Anyway I will share a little bit for what its worth. I hope you all believe in curses because its obvious to me that …

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So much pain

February 24th, 2005by kerria

Today i said goodbye formally to my therapist, he knows as well as i do that i’m not ever getting better. We lived divided too long. my life is a terrible mess. i can’t live with my family anymore- they’re too frustrated by my parts , all the forgetting , the crazy sobbing of kids inside.

My dog died this week. i never knew how important that dog was to my little ones inside. All there is is a deafening crying and “Where’s Chelsea.”? All day.
No one in my family understands how hard it is being a multiple- they think that i have demons and if …

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suicidal, again

October 12th, 2004by maryx

After four great years on Seraquel I pooped out on it five months ago. Since then my doc has tried three medicines and none have worked. I had almost forgotten what this was like (almost!). Four years of peace after a lifetime of hell. Now, back in hell again. Sixteen suicide attemps in five months. Today, I’m out of the hospital again, at least for a few days. It always takes a few days until I’m ready for the next one. I feel so hopeless again; there’s such terrible mental pain; I’m crying. I’m here alone again, and I want to die.

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About Suicidal Survivors

August 7th, 2004by SP Administrator

Use this category when you post your story if it’s related to your survival of a suicidal attempt (or someone you know’s survival).

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