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13

Im lost

  August 8th, 2018 by bluerain88

so Any one read this post thank you..

Since I was 8 yrs old my uncle used to rape me,It happened two time but the other actions from him it was abusing and physical harassment until I become 16 I was able to stopped him.My father used to beat me like hell ,he was so cruel and aggressive and still.He was abusing me only I mean he never hit my sisters or brother he only beats me .I always left alone outside because he throw me outside the house when he was angry.I felt like tradh whole my life.My mom so weak to even speak still …

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2

  August 8th, 2018 by 5ara

i hate my life
i hate my life
i hate my life
i hate my family , every single one of them
i hate myself
im so weak
im just tired

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2

Momentary Psychosis

  August 8th, 2018 by rivets

Went a little nuts the last few days. Hallucinated a little the last few mornings. Ran around screaming a little. Then I had some tea. It was quite good – black tea with some mint added for flavor. Night shift is nice – you can go completely out of your gourd and nobody notices because everyone is too damned tired to think much of it. This is a little different from past experiences in a similar vein. I had some aphasia  in speech, which probably confused people a bit, but I blame the fact that I don’t watch TV or read newspapers. Of course I’m …

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8

My Story

  August 8th, 2018 by clichenamehere

So I discovered this place while looking up the best way to kill myself.  I’m a 41 year old police officer and retired military veteran.  I’ve been in a terrible marriage for the majority of the last 23 years of my life.  I’m finally at the point where I can’t take the utter sadness and lack of any joy in my life.  I’ve suffered from differing forms of mental illness for the majority of my life: severe depression, borderline personality disorder, ptsd, etc.  I’ve been on medications and gone to therapy and they seemed to help when I’m actually happy.  I haven’t been happy for …

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2

Afraid (Hi again, the suicide project)

  August 8th, 2018 by viola

Hey guys, I’m back.

I’m not sure if the people I knew are still here, but I really hope they are. You are all wonderful persons.

2016 was a rough year for me. 2017 didn’t improve much.

I’ve attempted suicide around 8 times, most of my attempts this year. Several injuries, failed tests, some crappy teachers, social media, and my dad. All of these have contributed to my shitty health.

I’ve gotten injured 4 times within 12 months. The fractures were the worst. I went to the beach and I would cry myself to sleep every night from that point until my mom found out I …

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5

really scared…

  August 8th, 2018 by spectralgiraffe

Well, me and mum were thinking about leaving sometime soon in the future… her partner is mostly abusive. And she will probably have a few thousand k soon.
I’m really really worried though. I’m wondering if we should go to a shelter, or if we should get a hotel/motel for a short time, or if we should get something off Gumtree.
I worry that renting will be really difficult. I mean at least here they need pay slips, references, stuff like that. She doesn’t have a job, nor do I. Will anyone even rent to us? Don’t have references either, this current place is being rented …

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1

Leonard Cohen – Dress Rehearsal Rag

  August 8th, 2018 by Taf Taf

Lyrics:

Four o’clock in the afternoon and I didn’t feel like very much

I said to myself, ”Where are you golden boy? Where is your famous golden touch?”

I thought you knew where all of the elephants lie down

I thought you were the crown prince of all the wheels in Ivory town

Just take a look at your body now, there’s nothing much to save

And a bitter voice in the mirror cries, ”Hey, prince, you need a shave”

Now if you can manage to get your trembling fingers to behave

Why don’t you try unwrapping a stainless steel razor blade?

That’s right, it’s come to this… Yes, it’s come to this…

And wasn’t …

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2

I’m so fucking tired.

  August 8th, 2018 by avoidthatthinks

Not sure what to call this, to be honest.

I know I’m gonna kill myself this year, or at least that’s what I keep telling myself. And honestly, I feel almost a sense of relief when I think about it. I know that might sound fucked up, part of me still thinks it is.

I’m just so scared to do anything because it feels like everything I do is wrong. Whenever I do talk about my feelings, people just put me in a hospital or something- which, isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I spent a week in a behavioral hospital and I can honestly say it was one …

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0

secrets

  August 7th, 2018 by seemokay

i have many secrets which I’ll be taking with me I’ll keep quiet till the day I die . Which I promise it will be soon .

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5

Why Am I Doing This To Myself?

  August 7th, 2018 by thehusk

When I think about ending my life, I always end up thinking of my parents finding out. Getting the call, having to identify the body etc. I don’t want to do that to them. They’ve done so much for me. The thought of leaving them in that situation, having to bury one of their children, and dealing with all that grief. I don’t see how I could do that to them. Maybe I’m wrong, and they’d do ok with it. But I can’t imagine that, knowing how much they care. I think it would utterly devastate them.

Perhaps I’m just not desperate enough yet, and there …

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4

  August 7th, 2018 by lost.in.space

i’m done. i’m done trying to find a friend. i can’t do this anymore. what is wrong with me when people always live me in the end. it hurts so much. they just use me and then live. i just need someone to be there for me. is it that hard? of course. there is always someone better than me. always will be…

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3

Coping strategies

  August 7th, 2018 by ClairDeLune

I hate moments where all of them fail and you’re desperately trying to come up with new ones, but just can’t think of anything. I freaking need a hug.

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4

It’s crazy

  August 7th, 2018 by rivets

It’s just nuts. If you fight a lion, you have a chance to win against it. Might be small, but you know what you can and can’t do, and it’s easy to understand the lion’s motivations – what it wants. But if you find yourself being ground in the gears of civilization, if you protest or fight against it, you’re considered crazy. I’ll take the lion any day. Give me a ravenous bear, or a wolverine, or an emaciated wolf. Human beings are the worst.

I guess I’m crazy. So here’s something crazy to destroy the world.

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1

  August 7th, 2018 by 5ara

if i have asked you for an advice
what would it be

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13

  August 7th, 2018 by freeroma

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1

Morris

  August 7th, 2018 by at yar saervice

I just wanted to say you’ve been a good friend. You were sort of like a breathe of fresh air amidst the darkness of human folly. I thought it right that you should know you at least inspired someone before it gets to a point where I can’t show appreciation at all. Slowly, I’ve been losing my emotions and in case I do actually end up turning into a narcissistic basket case like my mom, I figured I should show my thanks to anyone who deserves it. What kind of liquor do you prefer?…

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52

Insecurity

  August 7th, 2018 by machila27

Hi, whoever is reading this,

Someone commented on my last post and it made me feel less alone. A lot better. I guess it’s the fact that I’m not the only one feeling the way I do.

So, I’m writing again, to hopefully feel better in this little situation of mine.

This one is a little bit more personal, but it’s an anonymous site so whatever.

Here’s a little bit of a background story:

My aunt (let’s call her Katherine) couldn’t have children. A few months later, she and her husband made the decision of adopting. Right around the same time, her brother’s wife (let’s call her Ann) was pregnant with …

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2

C

  August 7th, 2018 by EmptyPluto

In a house painted with dead hair
On a canvas that showed normality
The place where my body was stolen
Created only to satisfy

I won’t go back
But it will remain
No, I’ll never go back
But it will stay

Gift it to the pretty eyes
That don’t so easily see the truth
Blinded by the smoke you breathe out
Never trusting color beyond black and white

I won’t go back
But it will remain
No, I’ll never go back
But you’ll realize it will stay

Years of decay and neglect
Malnourished beauty fell off the wall
Only to be picked up by the seeker
Where it was finally paid in full

I won’t go back
But it will remain
No, I’ll never go back
But you …

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3

I so want to give up…

  August 7th, 2018 by spectralgiraffe

Even if I worked on my life, it will still be sucky. And I can’t really handle that. I did start by studying today. Maybe I should learn more stuff too. Expand my knowledge.
I know my life is always going to be bad. I can’t imagine spending 30+ years of my life being with someone, but having most of that time being taken up by a job, which leaves little time to spend with them. Just another wage slave. Thats if I could hold down a job anyway.

I do think about my ex’s life. How can he possibly enjoy that? Ok he’s 32 and lives …

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0

Miguel De Unamuno – Poems

  August 7th, 2018 by Taf Taf

Muerte (Death)

 

To die to sleep… to sleep… perchance to dream.

(Hamlet, act iii, scene iv)

 

You are the dream of a God; when you awake

will you return to the womb where you were born?

Will you then be what you were before?

Will your death be a new birth?

Is this dream absent during wakefulness?

Luckily here the mystery assists us;

as a remedy of our sad life

our fate remains an inviolable secret.

Let your future remain hidden under the fog

and walk calmly

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