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1

Good Start To The Day

  October 2nd, 2018 by AshCoveredAngel

First thought of the day was this song in my head

?Sell your love to the modern day
Hold your Bible
Hold your hand
We’re suicidal
C’mon raise your Bible?

Way to kick it off. Yesterday is was “Teen Idle” by Marina and the Diamonds.

?Yeah, I wish I’d been, I wish I’d been, a teen, teen idle
Wish I’d been a prom queen, fighting for the title
Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible
Feeling super, super, super suicidal
The wasted years, the wasted youth
The pretty lies, the ugly truth
And the day has come where I have died
Only to find, I’ve come alive?

Ironically, I hadn’t listen to either of these songs …

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3

This is why I have trust issues

  October 2nd, 2018 by GerbzBaby

When I finally think I found the person(s) in my life to help me through hardships and show me that I can trust others again, I’m let down. Again. And again. And again. It’s to the point we’re I’m completely numb to it. I tell myself “You know it’s coming, it’s only a matter of time.” Then, eventually it happens. I tried to tell him that what he thought wasn’t true. That I just want him to understand. That I did appreciate him, but I need time for myself. He keeps thinking I’m making excuses not to talk to him. “You just don’t want to …

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20

Real Life

  October 2nd, 2018 by AnxiousAngel

Do you ever wonder if you know any of the people on this site personally? I mean the chances are very slim, but I’m sure there are other people who live around me who are also struggling and like to express their thoughts on here. I think it’d be interesting to choose 1 person and communicate with them outside of this website and actually get to know them. Find a friend to go to on bad nights so you can be there for each other and convince each other to stay for at least one more day. Maybe I’m crazy, but it feels good to …

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3

Been A Few Years

  October 2nd, 2018 by AshCoveredAngel

So I only stopped writing on here because I thought I was blocked.

Wrong user name.

It’s been about 2 years since I posted last.

I don’t have any hope for yall. I still wanna die.

Lately, “I just wanna die” just keeps repeating in my head. I know that’s usually just the beginning. That’s the calm before the storm.

I had a 3 tiered method set up not even a year ago. I’m still here and trying to be positive but it’s not working.

I left the relationship I was in but not before I was raped, had a gun pulled on me, and pushed through …

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1

My own rant about my brother owing me money

  October 2nd, 2018 by SuicidalThoughtsButRefuseToKillMyself

This isn’t about suicide but this is more or less a rant about my older brother owing me money that he’ll never be able to pay me back which I am tired of having an older brother who can’t be responsible for his own actions and keeps asking me for money I am tired having to see things from his perspective about the choices which led to his mistakes which has its own consequences one thing we humans don’t always realize is that yes we choose our own mistakes due to our own poor reasonsing or judgement or whatever the point is that it is …

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2

Hey sorry for the late update

  October 1st, 2018 by EnslavedByShadows

Hey its enslavedbyshadows again .. I said I’d update you guys but I’m super busy lately .. The past few weekends turned out to be OK! Looks like I’m staying at this point..won’t know for sure until tomorrow night but I will update you. Life seems to be improving but that may be an illusion and I’m worried it may all be ripped away.. I’m ready to kill myself if I have to but looks like I won’t. I hope you all improve and find your way … I love you guys and all the support you have given.. If I kill myself you won’t …

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3

I ruined my life

  October 1st, 2018 by AnotherEdgyTeen

I don’t really know if I belong here. This is my first post and I kinda feel like I’m intruding on a community but I need to vent this somehow and it really feels like there is nothing to do and I should just give up.

I went to college and got a degree. The whole time I dated this guy who was good in some senses but was kind of controlling and I just took it. I got a job in a different state than him and said I just wanted to do it for a year and then I’d move in with him and …

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16

Waiting Game

  October 1st, 2018 by Mordred

Because I have no plans. No goals. No pleasure. I spend time. I read, I write if I can, I work. I work out, train, etc.. I take care of my cats. I  bought a video game recently…Valkyrie Chronicles 4. Its nice I guess, but I mainly bought it to pass the time, whatever time I have left in the day, that is.

I know it seems odd–with all these chores to occupy my time, how come I still have time left over? I don’t know…there’s just this vast expanse of time now, and try as I might I can’t seem to make it go faster. …

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1

I’m So Sick Of This

  October 1st, 2018 by can't be helped

I hate myself. Why can’t I just be happy? And STAY happy!?

I hate when I have good days. They only delay the inevitable – my bad ones. They aren’t even full days, really; more like fleeting periods of imitation normalcy before something happens (or doesn’t happen) to ruin it all and send me right back into my usual pit of anxiety/depression. I hate having that taste, that teaser of what could be, what should be.

The universe must have me as number one on its hit list or something.

And it’s not like school helps, either. As a sophomore, I know I probably don’t even have the right …

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3

I don’t care for “free speech.”

  October 1st, 2018 by JustSomeGuy4455

For decades now, people have asserted that I have the right to be abused, misrepresented, and et cetera.

This pisses me off so much.

I have been demonized for who I am since elementary school for my autism. I’ve been demonized since middle school for questioning my sexuality. I’ve been demonized since high school for not believing in God.

Now, that I’m in college and have to deal with the “alt-right” calling me a “millennial special snowflake triggered cancer SJW” for just being who I am, I’m going to say loud and proud that I HATE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

Here come the mobs calling me a Nazi.

I say thanks …

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16

fuckin A xanax

  October 1st, 2018 by Stable as Uranium

Anyone here know what a Xanax blackout is? Anyone here ever ruin the shattered remains of their life while using it?

Seriously, I’m fucked.

I don’t know why I did this to myself. Help me.

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9

Another kick in the balls

  October 1st, 2018 by nuclearbackpack

A neighbor’s dog bit my cat and it died.

My cat was one of the only things in my life that gave me any pleasure. And now even that is taken away from me.

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4

update

  October 1st, 2018 by miszion

It’s been a while.

I typed out a long update, and deleted it. Then I did it a second time. And now I’m writing this, as my leg bounces up and down beneath my work station, still completely unsure of what I want to say.

I finally started dating again. I’ll be visiting Denver for the first time next week, a lengthy and much needed vacation with my closest friend. I’ve been reading an incredible amount. My new job and school has been going very well. I began exercising more and have stuck with it. Yet I still feel unfulfilled. Most nights I sit at work after having …

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1

Im garbage and that is all

  October 1st, 2018 by maddie_kay

I was helping some newish people at work last night. This girl was doing extra work for no reason, i told them nicely that they didnt need to do that (didnt explain that we didnt have time to clean that spot for ao long, we were pretty busy).The chick stared at me, mumbled and continued to take her sweet ass time. Im tired of being disrespected. Im a senior worker. I thought that would mean something to someone, but it never does. It just makes me over think my life. Ive stayed up all night. I coulsnt sleep so now i had to go have …

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0

Catching The Bus.

  October 1st, 2018 by Cc16

I just read this book, and im supper in love and now i think i know what i need to do.. I think? Making this decison on my own is hard but then again ive been alone my whole life so its the same, still im worried about my mom and my sister with the miss me, what would it do to them?

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1

a public service announcement

  October 1st, 2018 by Stable as Uranium

  • fer all newcomers, ye still can’t say fuck except in yer own posts, laddies. Aye, enjoy the song, lads.
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4

Why do I still sometimes feel jealous of my husband’s ex?

  October 1st, 2018 by Beneathetide

I always thought she was a lot prettier than me, but I don’t see why that should bother me the way it does because it shouldn’t matter at all, especially since she’s a crappy person with a bad personality and a crappy life, and my husbands loves me and not her and I have a good heart so why should I feel jealous if I’d hate to actually be her? I never feel jealous of celebrities for being pretty and most of the time I feel confident and pretty myself, but whenever I’m reminded of her I feel ugly in comparison and I put myself …

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2

My weaknesses

  October 1st, 2018 by Yikrens

I have my own Mistakes that I do not advice.

  • Binge Eating
  • Drug Abuse (Tobacco)
  • Inner Aggression
  • Public Transport Trip’s
  • No-Decision making
  • Unfutile research documentation
  • Suddenly stopping global development
  • Uses to leave possible takeworthy desires unfollowed properly
  • Legal Affairs

I feel to break at some point. To make Gang and Group, Politic and Industry, Law and Order beside everything else I do.

I don’t like to sell Medicine, I give them for free. I don’t split my Drugs. I don’t destroy things.

I can’t waste money because I can’t stop thinking for any product I buy.

No Invitations for a Dinner or Booze as I see the drown downward.

People …

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1

Daddy

  October 1st, 2018 by angeldiamond

He loved my husband

I acted like I loved everything he did

But really I wanted the attention

I protected his every decision as a child

I was there for him when no one else was

But why did he love my husband

My husband houdinied him

 

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4

Hisself

  October 1st, 2018 by angeldiamond

He was the drug addict

He was the alcoholic

He was the cheater

He never returned my phone call

Now I’m the alcoholic

Now I’m the cheater

And I won’t return his phone call

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