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1

Please, flush it all away….

May 7th, 2018by atlasbleeding1

“Mother in Arms”

The world, in its glorious wonder

     Will burn down its wretched inhabitants;

Or they shall scorch themselves to ashes,

     With their infinite knowledge.

Regression to the former, renewal’s blessing.

     The naivety of our progress,

While She slowly suffers from our strife and sloth.

 

” Mass Extinction”

Life is passing you by,

But these people are not worth salvage.

Thus, acclimation is only by necessity,

For human contact.

Walden seems like Olympus.

Nothingness seems like Everything.

 

“To Starve”

I

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2

You Made My Heart Stop Beating

May 6th, 2018by BlueDiamond

Your words, bits by bits committed to memory
twirling and destroying, making me nauseous
turning the photos black, your anger slipping out
like muddy water from a foundation

Your silence makes me drown in a sea of blood
heat flashes inside my head, slowly breathing until I halt
goosebumps and hair standing on ends as you watch
with hawk eyes,

Your unappreciated touching makes me hold my breath
sliding your hand down my back, brushing between my legs
my muscles twitching but frozen in their tracks
now my mind has to leave, dreaming of something better
Man, I wish you disappear.

Your lack of care makes me wonder if there’s something inside
damaged frontal lobes? Was time cruel to …

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9

2

May 6th, 2018by J Doe

There is 3 in 2. I’m apathetic to all. I think I need to leave. I’m just no good. I get that. I’m just not all that into it. I get that. Not at all happy. I miss those nights where it is warm and you hear the bugs in the trees. I miss those days where I wake up and don’t think too hard about any of it. I miss having an idea of where I was going. What is the point of this place again? Why do I come and write here …

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2

help

May 6th, 2018by Unsheard

I’ve been drinking, i’ve been getting high. and all this time i wonder if i did the right thing. sure shes happier and has moved on but i havent. but it doesnt really matter what i want because she is more important even though i hate myself for loving her. who cares anyway ill just tie my noose and jump off my roof. life is messed up and it isnt worth it. im so done with all this shit.

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3

May 6th, 2018by Hulk

I live near the Black Sea and im thinking of taking my pills Depakine, Anxiar and Seroquel and drowning myself in the sea.

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3

So is there more to life than work?

May 6th, 2018by sdasdfdasds

I swear the weekends I just sit there doing almost nothing. Like I was hibernating or something. And during mondays I then feel like I didn’t have time to do anything and I feel so tired.

 

There really is nothing to this place is there? “One must imagine sisyphus happy.” My ass.

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4

Lack of Will

May 6th, 2018by thehusk

I can’t really explain why, but my response to learning more about how the world & society operates was deciding I didn’t want to take part. Maybe it’s that I was too idealistic as a child, and too engaged in stories and fantasy. Maybe it was that I had a false sense of pride. Perhaps I had it too easy when I was young. But on encountering my own low status and the way I was perceived by others, my response was not to struggle to better myself. It was to opt out. And I’ve continued on with that all my life.

I don’t know if …

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19

Is anyone here really pro-suicide

May 6th, 2018by AXYZ

Before you answer, note that “pro-suicide” applies to everyone, not just yourself. You can’t condone your own suicide while telling others “don’t do it” or “it gets better” or “hang in there”. All three of those sentiments imply life is better and suicide is a mistake.

A second caveat before you answer. If your opinion is that people should have extensive mental health options, whether by therapy or drugs, to reduce the number of suicides, then that’s not “pro-suicide” either, even if you think suicide should be an option as well. That’s more like a “pro-choice” stance, which probably describes most people here. Also if you …

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0

May 6th, 2018by Hulk

I feel like Im out of this world yet somehow i arrived here to understand, to see some things. Do you ever feel like this? Why?
People dont care about the stuff around them.
I DO AND IT SUCKS.

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2

A Letter To God

May 6th, 2018by Mordred

Dear God,

I wish you’d let me go. It’s been so long since I’ve wanted to live — I’m stuck here, due to obligations. Obligation after obligation after obligation. Obligations to dead people. Obligations to living people. To family, to would-be-family, even to pets. And of course, my obligation to you. That’s probably the biggest obligation of them all.

If you’re a thought in my mind, and nothing more, then I wish I could see you as more lenient. I wish it was easy. I wish you told me what to do, so that my decisions would not be mine, and mine alone — so that I …

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5

May 6th, 2018by Hulk

They call it a fuckin family for no reason, they are just a bunch of shitheads.

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0

A love letter;

May 6th, 2018by stilte

I miss the words that I deleted. They felt more real.
There is this really heavy hole somewhere in my body and it’s growing. I remember when it first came. I was 12. I thought it was just a wound, you know? I thought it would heal and it would go away like any other time I’ve been hurt.
I thought that if I stopped paying attention to it, it would go away. That’s what I was always taught, I mean.
But it didn’t. The hole just kept getting bigger and heavier and darker and it’s lost. No, I’m lost. I’m lost in this hole and I can’t …

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4

Ready to die

May 5th, 2018by Specter

TL;DR Sudden strange health problems developed at 31 years old. Feels strange to have an actual substantial reason that I could not continue living this life now. I’ve endured social isolation and all sorts of other stuff, but this feels different. I’m just living in denial and a little bit of hope that maybe I’ll wake up some day and notice some improvement, but for now medications have done nothing and doctors act like they don’t know what to do. ——

Over the past 5 years or so I’ve endured the problems I already had. Depression, anxiety, friends and relationships literally dropping to zero, no job, …

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21

I dont want to suffer

May 5th, 2018by definitelyworried

I’m scared to live on as I see a painful life, but Im also scared of killing myself. I’ stuck in between, anyone here feel the same way?

I’m a 32 year old male and I feel like a loser.

Can anyone here relate?

 

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5

Fear

May 5th, 2018by 5201jm

I think… im scared..of life…. i just got off the phone with my dad and he told me “well see you Friday”… which made me realize just how close graduation is. It’s THIS Friday… 6 days away. I no longer will have the excuse to not be doing anything because im a college student. After this week is nothing but the real world… all i keep thinking is if i ran away afterwards and just kill myself i wouldn’t have to worry about it. Finding a job for a theatre design degree, paying bills and student loans, looking for love, maybe starting a family, finding …

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8

May 5th, 2018by spookichick

i have 1 person in my life that whose presence is keeping me from ending my life. one by one i have alienated my friends, my family, basically everyone. if i can rationalize why that 1 person would be better off without me, then i can suicide on my terms. does anyone wish to share “reasons why/ reasons why not.

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4

I’m back.

May 5th, 2018by Charlottevics

Used to post here a lot in 2015-16. Who is still around from that time?

I’m still depressed/suicidal, even though my life is technically better than back then.

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9

May 5th, 2018by Hulk

They talk for hours everyday and I’m like forced to listen. Where should I go to find some quiet place?

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9

Does anyone have the answers I need

May 5th, 2018by Cause of Death: Suicide

I have these dreams. I do not know what they mean. I never paid attention to them before. I let them come and go, more meaningless bullsh*t.

I remember these dreams. These things I do not understand. Can someone please help me understand what this could mean.

1st dream I remember – a male and a female are trying to take drugs from me. I am trying to get the drugs up my arsehole so they cannot take them.

2nd dream: I am driving home from a gas station after drinking at a friends house. On the road, cops are following me from every angle.

3rd dream: I am …

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2

Tomorrow is the day…

May 5th, 2018by Stray_Kat

for my 3rd attempt. i lost all hope that life will get any better. i can’t seem to find a job that i am good at or want to keep. i’ve had about 6 jobs this past April – none of them i wanted to keep for even a week. i just hope that i’ll be successful this time. my 2nd attempt landed me in the hospital for 2 months last year. i don’t think the suicidal ideation ever left me, despite the number of medications I’ve been given for bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety, and depression. it’s …

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