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For J—

  August 3rd, 2018 by equi

I write
for promises broken,
for lives destroyed,
for memories of a future
that will never come to pass.
For things unforgivable,
For begging forgiveness.
Scatter now
the pieces to the world,
of broken trust,
of broken hearts,
of lost souls.
The air is stagnant
and my life has gone stale.
Hope is just a word
Meaningless as I.
For without you I am nothing and never have I been
I beg you – this time, let me go
I miss you

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Understanding Criminals

  August 3rd, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91



I’ve been waiting to put this up for a long time, but wasn’t sure when I should…


Um… I might ramble a bit here, but please bear with me. ^^;


Um, a quick thing about my family, from some earlier posts…


I don’t know how frequent or severe incidents in my family are, especially compared to other people, but my family would definitely be considered one of those dysfunctional ones at times, and when things go wrong, it can get pretty ugly. I’m not sure if I can think of a specific example, but pretty much everyone has issues with anger, and a lot of yelling and sometimes …

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  August 3rd, 2018 by spectralgiraffe

I’m gonna stop playing nearly all video games for a month. No point to this really. In my case it won’t improve my life but it will give me extra time.

I wish I could be a mouse…
I’d eat cheese.
But not all mice like cheese.
I don’t know when the mice will accept me.
I am not interesting enough, or agile enough, or smart enough.
If another animal can accept me and holds these traits, why can’t mice?
When will mice take over the world? Sometime in the future.
To think that mice are all nice and cute wouldn’t be right. Every animal kingdom has its bullies, terrible, nasty, creepy, judgmental…. …

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– – –

  August 3rd, 2018 by whiskered-fish

I’m thinking about attempting today. I know it probably seems spontaneous, but it really isn’t. Not really, anyway.

I’m a little worried though. The only means I have is a rope and my doorknob. I don’t know if I’ll do it properly, and I really don’t want brain damage. I guess that’s a risk I’ll just have to take.

Then again, I kind of want to go to church one more time before I go. Maybe I should wait till Monday. I don’t know. I don’t know.

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  August 3rd, 2018 by thehusk

I want not to feel this anymore. To not be this anymore. I want a new body, a new mind, a new past. Erase it all and replace it all with something semi-functional. Of course then it wouldn’t be ‘me’ in any real sense. The way that I experience the world, perceive things & react to them would have to be removed entirely. The genetic and social predispositions to anxiety would have to go. It would essentially be a completely different person. But despite recognizing that, the irrational longing to be free of myself persists.

God, to be someone else, somewhere else. Perhaps one of the …

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  August 3rd, 2018 by Jalpits

IrrationalLion, please answer if you are still alive. I still have a hope that you aren’t dead, that you have just lost/broken your phone or sth.. cos you didn’t make it look like you are actually going to end it that soon. Your “entrance” in my life kinda made me obliged to continue living, even gave me a motivation for life just by having someone there who feels the same way, who understands me and who I understand as well.

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  August 3rd, 2018 by 5ara

i think im used to be depressed

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  August 3rd, 2018 by 5ara

new update :
im not better
i woke up today feeling better
but in the evening , i started feeling like im being suffocated
and all the suicidal thoughts came back again
i think i had high hopes
and im disappointed now …..

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Living dead

  August 3rd, 2018 by Agonizing

My nightmare is now reaching its 6th month, everyone said i would get better, unfortunately for me ive proved them wrong, my brain has reached the bottom of the psychiatric barrel because of the systems disgusting forced medication practices. The government did the most vicious barbaric crime against me, they violated my human rights beyond belief and forced a poisonous cocktail of drugs into my veins, i wouldnt do this to my worst enemy. Im left with no option but suicide, ive cried more times and more intensely than i bargained for over the span of my life. Only those hit with antipsychotics

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Sleep is Good

  August 3rd, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

I feel a lot better now… or at least a bit…


I think it’s all because of sleeping… or dreaming… and having only two days of work left…


… I… I don’t know how to solve my problems or habe healthy outlets, no one really teaches me how to do anything…


I think letting out steam and crying a bit helped… or made it worse, idk…


No, no, can’t focus on that right now…


I… kind of wish I cluld sleep forever and forget the world even exists…


I want to dream forever…


I want to… live in imagination…


Imaginary characters sometimes seem a lot nicer and more understanding than real people… I …

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  August 3rd, 2018 by 5ara

this is my 13 day of taking antidepressants
i think finally im feeling better
even though it doesnt make sense that im feeling better even though everything around me stays the same and the same bad things
i dont know
i think i should celebrate that i am not suicidal anymore
wish me luck

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My life

  August 3rd, 2018 by nozmoking


vb (tr)

1. to afflict with great pain, suffering, or anguish; torture
2. to tease or pester in an annoying way: stop tormenting the dog.

3. physical or mental pain
4. a source of pain, worry, annoyance, etc
5. archaic an instrument of torture
6. archaic the infliction of torture
[C13: from Old French, from Latin tormentum, from torqu?re]
tor?mented adj
tor?mentedly adv
tor?menting adj, n
tor?mentingly adv
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Sleepless Nights

  August 3rd, 2018 by Watcher

My depression keeps me up all night, just like tonight,  and the only time I fall sleep is when I’ve been sleep deprived for a long time. Wish I could sleep like a normal person but when I do  I’ll have nightmares. The last time I slept I dreamt that someone broke into my room and stabbed me. Don’t even know what to do anymore.

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I just wanna cry

  August 3rd, 2018 by annon111

I hate how I can’t stop feeling like this. It wears me down. It builds up.


I just wish I could cry and let it out, but I can’t.

Other methods aren’t very good either.

Feeling trapped.

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iam having a hard time

  August 2nd, 2018 by beaxer

I am either not enough or to much and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.  I hate being me,  but I also know I like the person iam because iam good.  Alot of other people don’t see that…  They don’t understand. I don’t want to fight myself anymore. I want to be out in the ocean,  stranded,  contemplating my life because these days it just seems like to much. I feel like iam drowning but my lungs just won’t collapse under the weight of the water. I’m left stuck gasping for air, and my head is already above water.  I don’t …

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  August 2nd, 2018 by 7777777

I don’t know what to tell you. In my experience the pain does not stop. I wish someone would come up to me and crack the side of my head open with a lead pipe and kill me. I think I have only survived to this point bc I feel a sense of responsibility to avoid giving the people who care about me the pain of dealing with someone else’s suicide. It is unfair to me that I have to extend my life so that others will not feel the burden that they could have done more to stop me. Nothing has ever been worth …

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  August 2nd, 2018 by ArwenOfAstora

I am hungry but the thought of food brings about a feeling of disgust. I am lonely but the idea of company elicits irritation and resentment. I am bored but the thought of taking part in inconsequential activities creates a sense of guilt. Inside there is a hunger for comfort and pleasures but at the same time there is a force that rejects the notion, a force that shames and punishes me for indulgence. I’m sure if I were to express this to a therapist they would attribute it to poor self esteem and paint it as an act of self destruction, but that could …

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I wish everyone would love me…

  August 2nd, 2018 by WanderingDreamer91

I wish everyone would love me so I wouldn’t havw to be hurt anymore…


Their wouldn’t be any misunderstandings, or disagreements, or avoidance, or hatred and so on…


People would understsnd me and forever…


I… what was it agsin that some people said in my last post about a girlfriend?


I should wsit for the girl to come How? Why? This isn’t Welcome to the NHK, there is no Misaki, I’m trying to be realistic.


How am I going to find people atrracted just by natural persona? Or shoukd I some friendship into something more eith a girl I find?


Well how do you find and make friends…?


I …

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Not moving at all

  August 2nd, 2018 by tired123

Have any of you just laid down and just decided not to move and hardly even breath? Just willing yourself to die right there?

If only it could have worked. If only it were possible. No stigma for your family to be stuck with that you killed yourself. No guilt for your loved ones to feel thinking if I only could have done something…… I laid there for about 30 min lifeless willing myself to leave my body. It was quiet almost peaceful. But eventually I had to realize it wouldn’t work lol

Crap i wish it was that easy.
What now

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I’m sorry mom

  August 2nd, 2018 by holdingonbyathread

Dear mom,

I wish I could tell you what you want to hear. I wish I could recover from this, but I think we both know that might be a bit unrealistic. The thing is, if this was just simple depression caused by a slight imbalance in brain chemicals, we would be able to fix it.

But it isn’t. Since I was eight years old, I’ve been scared to death of this god that you love so much. Its crazy how religion can make one person feel completed and completely tear another apart. Mom, I’m so scared. You say ,”It’s not a religion, it’s a relationship.” But …

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