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What I’m afraid of..

February 21st, 2018by nonexistingsoul

I have a not so good life and if death is infront of me, I’ll take it. But what scares me is that even if my life is bad right now, many years from now, I’m living my dream. Like everything from the past is gone and I’m the new and happy me and I can do all the things that makes me happy but suddenly dying of an accident…

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Panic Attack..

February 21st, 2018by nonexistingsoul

I was just sitting, drying my hair infront of the fan when suddenly my future pops in my head like me living alone, working then lying on my death bed and it scared me. I panicked inside knowing that time is faster than I think and the me who’s still in college right now will soon end

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4

February 21st, 2018by visual eyes

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3

My life has turned upside down and pushed me to the edge

February 21st, 2018by lostsoul21817

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would be writing here about my depression. I honestly never knew the impact of depression before I had it.

It all started when I joined college. During my school days, I was one of the most popular students and held various leadership titles. But now when I look at myself in the mirror, all I can do is regret about myself. I’ve joined college in a foreign country miles away from my family and friends. Plus this is also where my brother studied. I was really excited about everything and did pretty well for a …

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5

Would you

February 21st, 2018by Terminal Agony

Write a bell jar.

Have you thought about starting to write, as an outlet and also for people to appreciate your writing ? Our pain can turn into art. Do you do that or would you want to ?

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0

February 21st, 2018by Letmyheartsing

I never should have revealed my age.

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0 friends

0 money

0 hope

0 answers

0 likes

0

Oh, and don’t answer I would like to just see 0 everyday.

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4

Suicide is meant to hurt

February 21st, 2018by heathclifff

The toll for suicide is pain; the physical pain of dying and the emotional pain others feel in response to someone dying. If suicide was as easy as flicking a switch, people would do it all the time. I think this a good thing, despite being petrified about how painful my own suicide will be. So many people go through suicidal ‘phases‘, but eventually get their shit together and find some sort of happiness.

The pain is essentially a deterrent. I’ve thought so much about how to kill myself painlessly, but now I’m starting to think that if I want to die so badly, I have …

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6

February 21st, 2018by iamdarling

i don’t want to die, but i do worry about how i’m supposed to live, especially as an adult. i’m ugly, i don’t like myself, i have no friends, i don’t go to school so i won’t be able to get a job, and no job > no money > no house and i don’t want to be homeless. i’m going to be depressed for the rest of my life and my life won’t move anywhere, it will just be a waste. i’ve wasted so much of my life already and it looks like i’m just going to waste more. i wont have done anything …

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3

What comes next?

February 21st, 2018by eternaldarkness

I used to bottle up all my emotions, and stuffed it in a “box.” I was like Dr. Spock, all logic no feelings. But at some point I broke. I experienced my first heartache and now I can’t get back to the way I used to be. I am now all emotional and sensitive. Before I could at least deal with life by shutting off all emotions and go through life via logic. But now that the emotions have seeped out, I can’t stuff it back in.

Has anyone gone through this? Did you go through life suppressing all …

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1

I’m so messed up

February 21st, 2018by eternaldarkness

Can I have a normal relationship with people anymore? A large part of me still wants to shut everyone out. But a human cannot live with no companionship. Or at least live sanely with no one to talk to or be with. And I have so much pent up anger for people…

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Serge Gainsbourg – Chatterton

February 21st, 2018by Taf Taf

 

 

Lyrics (English translation):

Chatterton committed suicide
Hannibal committed suicide
Demosthenes committed suicide
Nietzsche
Raving mad
As for me…
As for me
It’s not going much better

Chatterton committed suicide
Cleopatra committed suicide
Isocrates committed suicide
Goya
Raving mad
As for me…
As for me
It’s not going much better

Chatterton committed suicide
Marc Antony committed suicide
Van Gogh committed suicide
Schumann
Raving mad
As for me…
As for me
It’s not going much better

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1

KyoAni

February 21st, 2018by nonexistingsoul

I dreamed of working in Kyoto Animation. Right now I’m watching their newest work which is Violet Evergarden. I’m so in love with how the animation looks like. I hope I can prevent myself from becoming a neet because of myself

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2

bad day

February 21st, 2018by ratlovinggirl

had a completely shitty day being screamed and fainting because i was so stressed. I don’t want to go to sleep sad so is there any way someone could leave something that might help me feel calm or happy before I sleep?

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1

I’m just tired… just tired

February 21st, 2018by lostdamagedsoul

I’m so tired of it all. The emotions. The pain. The tears. But I think i have gotten to the point where I can cry anymore. I have the feeling to cry but I can’t. No tears come out. It was nice for a moment knowing that I can’t cry. No more crying my self to sleep. But by crying it helped relieve some of the feelings and frustration of the world. It’s raining all the tears I can’t cry.
But I just recently found this web page. And for a hot minute it felt kinda nice knowing that there is web pages like this where …

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1

It’s so easy

February 21st, 2018by outinthedark

It’s so easy to doubt yourself when you’ve been ina good place for a while. It’s so easy to have the simplest thing change something and to take it as “you’re doing a shitty job” and just fall back down. My manager switched around my shifts at work and for some reason it’s making regret literally everything I’ve ever said at work and make me think that I’m doing an incredibly shitty job at work and I don’t deserve to work there. Like I just want everything to stay the same. If I initiate change I can handle it. But the smallest change initiated by …

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5

Well I screwed that up royally

February 21st, 2018by eternaldarkness

My parents were actually on their very best behaviour the past few days. They were actually trying to be good to me for once (I refused to see them for the last 8 years or so). But I was sad, depressed and angry at my sister. So I sulked and isolated myself in my room. Wasn’t so much avoiding them as avoiding the whole world.

Anyway, I didn’t come out today (nor yesterday or the day before). I almost came out this morning but was tired so decided not to. They thought I was avoiding them. Well, this morning …

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1

February 21st, 2018by Invisible

My housemates are together and I’m down stairs alone again crying myself to sleep, willing the day to end.

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8

Winding along a straight path

February 20th, 2018by iceberg

It’s odd to hear someone say what they mean. When you hear it, it sticks out from the niceties and the platitudes and the slogans.

Odder still, is to hear someone mean what they say. Promises. Always. Whenevers. No matter whats. Someone had (unsolicited) promised to me that s/he would be there on the night that is coming. No doubt s/he meant it when it was said. And I was instantly angered because I knew it to be a lie. My anger though, was not at my standing in the darkness alone, but for the sake of the hearers here, likewise promised. Some teen cutting in the …

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1

no

February 20th, 2018by spectralgiraffe

I don’t want to do anything. I’m so tired of getting out of bed and pretending that I’m alive. Rinse and repeat. I’m too emotionally weak and tired for this world. Why do I have to suffer another day… I don’t want to be dead but I’m just so tired!!!

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6

Suicidal family member

February 20th, 2018by Urm8451n

This post is what SP means with family effect and suicide related. This isn’t a happy ending nor a crisis, but beware of triggers.

 

When I was a young boy, I remember my mother going up the stairs, half dead, she was barely walking, her new bf helped her.  She was getting treated with chemotherapy and other cancer related drugs.  She was dying, it was an intensive fight.  She was alone, and my father divorced her.  Her family was so abusive and ugly that they didn’t even help.  I was about five and didn’t understand why my mom is falling to the ground.  I saw her …

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