Tomorrow is my birthday, another year older, another year I have failed myself. I look around me and find emptiness, the walls closing in, the pounding of my heart defing. I can’t see this light that everyone speaks of, all I have in my world is darkness. I walk the path of life, ruts, pot holes, and all. I stubble everyday and grow tired as the darkness invites me to become it’s friend. I fall into the arms of darkness almost like home. I try to speak, but all that comes out is gasping breath, dizzy, tired and worn down. I find comfort in the […]
I can’t get these fucking voices out of my head!
Life is bitter life is cruel
Happiness you can’t rule
Full of broken hearts and broken dreams
Even kindness is not what it seems
Don’t expect to much cause expectations is for fools
Acceptance and strength is your biggest tool.
no more depression starting today. At least, no more acknowledging it. I know why it’s there now, I know it. I’ve got the spotlight on my darkness. I’m no more better off but at least I’ve come to terms with this putrid existence. I’ve drowned in misanthropy, hatred for my fellow man. I’ve closed myself off to the world for the most part, spend every day miserable and unsatisfied.
I know now, nothing will please me, and that’s just fine. I feel that much more at peace with death and will fear it that much less when it comes, whenever it comes.
I’ve been doing the […]
I knew it wouldn’t last. All that happiness has vanished from yesterday.
I had a terrible day today. At lunch I sat alone. All my classes were spent ignoring everyone. And when I come home, my dad just starts yelling at me because he’s not appreciated.
Well guess what, neither am I. I just took 5000 mg of advil and I plan on taking more later. Maybe then they’ll realize they should’ve appreciated me.
again, I am in this deep hole. I am feeling very lonely here 🙁 All those people who are around me over the day, no one to talk to and if I try to start a talk with someone they just leave me alone 🙁 I have holidays next week and they will be like hell again. A whole week where no one in my age talks to me. I am just so tired of searching for friends, unfortunately I am also so tired of being alone. I hate everything at the moment. I hate how I fail at everything I do. I hate myself […]
That’s what it has felt like for a while. Like I’m just lingering in this fucking limbo where I know I’m tired of living, I know I only hurt people and disappoint them and make their lives more difficult. I am really just 21 years of promise culminating into failure. My own boyfriend is kind of sick of me, even. I can tell. I don’t talk about this stuff with him because he doesn’t deserve the burden. Though I guess it’s hard to hide it when you get depressed (I am not diagnosed, my twin brother is; I have too much shame to see a […]
I want to share my story, of who I am and how I got here, but I can’t share it with those I know so this seemed like the next best thing. I don’t know who is out there reading this, or if anyone even will, but there is a comfort in sharing how I feel without fear of judgment or persecution.
I will start with the easiest parts. I am a 29 year old mother of 3, married to a great man, and working at my dream job. I volunteer at my church and also lead a girl scout troop. So […]
I hear all this stuff about “suicide must be stopped” “find out the risk factors of suicide to prevent it” “Prison inmates suicide can be stopped” WHY I don’t get why they want to stop suicide. This world isn’t worth living for. And seriously prevent inmate suicide why? they are in hell on earth why would you prevent their suicide? It always amazes me how people try to prevent sombody elses suicide by getting they locked up or drugged. For anybody who says “suicide is the cowards way out” or “suicide is for weak losers” I hope that they get severe depression, get physically […]
I guess I’m not quite sure what to do at this point, so I need ur input. I’m 18 years old and ever since 5th grade I’ve wanted to die…or at least I didn’t care to live. In the past few years I’ve been but into a hospital four times due to breakdowns, see I’m stuck in this cycle between life and death and I don’t think itll ever end till th day I die. I’m terrified of existing, and I have several mental Heath problems that have caused me to lose all my friends…I push them away without realizing it, but it’s only […]
I am fully aware that I need help but there is nothing that helps. I have tried hospitialization, every type of therapy, had around 15 therapists, been on 20 different meds, tried meditation, talking. I’ve tried it all and nothing helped. I am not able to feel joy or love, I am always deeply depressed for 7 years. I cannot function around people and haven’t had contact with anybody except my family for 6 months. I get paranoid at night and can’t sleep. I have an unknown chronically painful stomach problem that even though I have had every medical test known to man twice, […]
I don’t think I’m scared of suicide anymore. The though of doing it isn’t scary, I think I would actually go through with it. Will I be missed?? Yea. But they’ll get over it eventually. Won’t they??
i just took a bunch a sleeping pills, wasnt paying attention to how much,doesnt matter anyways, you know that pain, that deep horrible pain that you cant bear anymore?i had to do somthin, i had to take stuff to help me sleep, i want to escape for a little bit,something kept telling me to take more, not a voice but this feeling, like my conciounce keept screaming out(just take one more,)so i did,hope it dont kill me, i have a plan , its to lay on the rail road tracks,well the pills are starting to kick in, i still feel the pain,i feel a little […]
I used to cry at the thought of suicide, but now when I think of it.. Honestly, I don’t know what I feel.
I might move the date up to August, or maybe July. Thoughts?
Nothing, no one, nowhere, why me?
I have been through so much in my life. I feel like I’m not needed/ wanted her on the earth. I feel like I should be better than I am. Idk why I am here. I’m sorry, but idk what I should do. I don’t even know why I’m putting this out her, but I feel like I can’t talk to my friends about this. I’m really stressed out. I feel fat and ugly…. In need some help:/
I never used to be so sad, i remember only two years ago i was so happy laughed every day and meant it but now the very thoguht of smiling, makes me feel pain in my heart actual physical pain. its not that i want to exactly die no, i know i canhave a great life i know, but you stop me
my mother you stop me, you don’t let me leave this prison of a house you want me here all the same, you very own prisoenr that you can control that you can manipulate to do everything you say
and now i finally […]
I have major depressive disorder and social anxiety/borderline avoidant personality disorder.
I was going to go to group therapy. I never did.
I was seeing a counselor. I stopped going.
I take an anti-depressant. It helps a lot but not enough I guess. Less anxiety and less pain but that isnt enough.
I live a solitary life. I am like a hermit. I barely speak to people. I avoid women. Don’t make eye contact, speak as little as possible. If they seem to like me, become vaguely hostile…put up those old barriers. Whatever it takes. Because it hurts and they can hurt me more. But all I really want […]
“Stan collymore tweeted the other day , depressed people don’t want to die , they they want to live but with a different life”
Not sure if I believe this is true what do you guys think?
Jules x
So I don’t want a wake or funeral. Â I want absolutely zero fuss made about my death. Â But I feel bad killing myself and taking all these healthy organs with me… so I think, I know, I will donate them. Â So I had this idea to do it in winter on a snowy day, so my body would stay fresh until I was found…. But it turns out that hospitals/universities/chop shops won’t take suicides… Also, Â if you donate your body to one of these chop shop organ/body donation companies, they dole the pieces out to the highest bidder, making at least $200,000 per body. Â The […]