So I recently gathered together all of the things from that time in my life–everything that holds negative connotations that came into my life over the past three years, from scissors and razors to the belt from my last attempt and poems and bloody tissues and whatever else–and I put all of this in a shoebox until I’d collected everything. Then I went out with my boyfriend into the back field, and we were looking for a tree to bury it by, when I saw the tree where one of my goats had died (she got her hoof stuck in between two branches and broke […]
If you’re born into a poor family, an abusive family, a rich family, a strict family, a dumb family, a broken up family, a close-together family, a famous family…you just have to suffer (or for some, enjoy the privleges). It sucks, you come into this world with everything planned for you, and you’re forced to accept it. Try to run away…you’ll be on your way back home. Try to call CPS…they’ll tell you to stay home because your living conditions aren’t “bad enough”. It’s all ridiculous; absolutely ridiculous. What more will it take for people to realize that we’re all nothing but slaves?
How do you talk to someone you push away? A person that has been through so much and had done everything they can to help you. But, you avoid them,ignore them, and hurt them. How do I talk to them again? Is it too late? Did I loose the people I care because I was being a selfish *****? Because I wanted to be alone but, now I need them more than ever. What do I do?
K, so my friend just made me make a Tumblr, so the URL is http://ifyoubothertoremember.tumblr.com/ for anyone who cares. She made the URL, title, and description, and she probably shouldn’t know me that well.
I’ve had it all … Zyprexa, Lamictal, Zanex, Lexapro, Oxycodone, Percoset, Ambien, and dozens more plus Pot, Alcohol, LSD, and more.
And months of nothing – which is the worst because you are then stuck with your thoughts
What is your favorite? What are you on and does it help?
[please read]do i have the ‘right’ to ‘change’ the ‘strange’ person many people ‘knew’ me as?
goiin’ to try to make this concise: i want to change, can anyone tell me ofany reallifestories that involving a transformation of a changed person, its really hard to explain , ecspecially when im tryng to be concise. HOW can i convince myself that i have the right to become a totally changed [for the better ] person? [not so extremly strange, freakis, but total realization of who i want to be, and able to express myself for the first real time [all through school i didnt talk..cntinued,.see cmments…
A few weeks ago I went to therapy and my therapist was giving me substitues for self harming. But i find her substitutes un-useful to me. She told me to snap a rubber band on my arm,write out why I’m upset,or talk to someone. The reason these methods don’t work is because if I use a rubber band I do it until I break skin and see blood which is pretty much the same as cutting or burning. I’m tired of writing out what I feel because I honestly don’t know what I’m upset about most of the time. I also really don’t have anyone […]
I just joined this website and i made my first post a few hours ago, but it just seems that depression gets worse by the minute.
Being gay and catholic is not easy.
Being gay and really following any set religion is not easy.
I am losing my boyfriend and my closest friends because of my depression due solely to religion.
They worry about me all the time and tonight my boyfriend told me that he feels lonely.
When he said this, he cried and it broke me.
He is an amazing guy and he loves me so damn much.
I never knew love was like this.
He buys me things all the […]
The first time i tried to kill myself i was not thinking about the answer to these questions: Who will be the last person i talk to be? What will my last words be? What is the last thing i will eat? Who will come to my funeral? ect… ect… I really wish that first time had worked because right now those questions really bug me. : (
Physical pain isn’t that bad what really messes a person up is emotional or mental pain. I started cutting again and I’m going to burn my wrists again to night i’m scared of myself and i don’t know what to do i want to overdose or poison myself. i just need help. from some one or any one. i’m desperate to stop myself from doing the unthinkable. Well unthinkable to regular boring people. well that’s all i have to say at the moment if you want to help just reading comments calms me down and makes me think less of death and pain.
The day i felt it seems to turn to endless torture , that cant stop, they said to me no twice and i cant breath afterwords, i fucked up my life i was given second choice but i lost it , pain the only one i have now . while my dream is trying to get recovering from stroke . Mu dream is floating far way she is trying say that she will never come back, but i am running to catch her to bring her to life no it s too late , pills simple doesnt help no more i am afraid of […]
I replay our last day together over and over at least six billion times a day.
We had been back together for four days after three weeks of not speaking. You just got out of football and i was in the band room, practicing my trombone. You texted me and asked where i was and you waited for me outside. Then you saw me, jumped up, and followed me to our place. I like to call it our place because it was the only place we’d ever go together. The only place no one would see us. That shouldve been warning #1. I ignored my gut […]
I feel my feet leave the ground
As the lies make me weightless
This false freedom all around
Sweeps true reality down
And I struggle to see the truth
Because I’ve been here before
Countless times I’ve risen
To these cloudy illusions
Only to fall farther
When the delusion disintegrates
I try with everything
To resist the beautiful sins
Beckoning to me with forked tongues
And to warped perfections I involuntarily cling
But I float nonetheless
On the wings of doomed bliss
Knowing its damnation
Hating myself for this weakness
And I struggle to see the truth
Because I’ve been here before
Countless times I’ve risen
To these cloudy […]
and things have not gotten better. they’ve gotten worse. a lot worse. i was going to take my life. but decided not to for right now. there has been just too much death around the people i love. and i don’t want to hurt the one person i love the most, my best friend. i feel like i let her down so much, i feel like she should hate me. i don’t deserve to be loved by anyone.
also, my life isn’t going anywhere. i have gotten arrested too many times, and now i have to take a drug test for 3 months. if i don’t […]
I’ve never posted on this site, but this is relatively long. I’m just venting I guess.
If you care to read it all, thanks.
I’m quite tired of life.
I have been looking for a purpose to it, but have found nothing.
We live in a very fucked up world where everyone judges each other.
My best friend who was very very close to me took her life when she was just 14.
She was lesbian and no one understood what she was going through.
I am an 18 year old man and I too am gay.
I can’t stand being alive anymore.
I have a very accepting […]
Knowing my dogs won’t be able to comprehend that I’m never going to walk through the door again is really the only thing that I cannot be okay with. Â My girlfriend (ex at this point I suppose) will be there to take care of them and hopefully never let them go (I know she loves them as much as I do) otherwise I wouldn’t dare leave them. Â I’ve known this would be the outcome of my time here for so many years that I have come to terms with the inescapable pain that will befall my family and friends… that is not to say it […]
I have decided on the date already. There are 2 and a half weeks to my 19th birthday, I will do it anytime during that time, or maybe on the day of my birthday.
There was never anything too wrong with my life, I just never cared or saw the meaning of working 8 hours a day just to get by in this world full of liars and cheaters. I hope that the people that actually gave a damn can forgive me. I hate when some of them tell me that I’m being selfish or cowardly, I know this is the easy way out but frankly […]
the balls (sorry guys, only words:) to step up and admit our shit, guarantee it everybody has shit, but they wont step up n say, so WE are better than them!!!!!! 😀
there’s nothing wrong with us…theres something wrong with everyone else………
Can’t stand this life anymore, i’ve had enough. People are jerks, they don’t care. My family are twats who want me to kill myself. I don’t want/need help. i don’t. I hate all of this anxiety and nerves… Things i haven’t told people just get worse. I’m not normal, i don’t belong here. Everyone keeps leaving..pretty soon i am going to be all alone…People email me, i love talking to you guys… you make me feel less alone. Don’t leave me. My days are pretty much routines, depression and MW3… i was told that i need a boyfriend, i don’t. that would just make it […]