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1

What to do?

February 18th, 2010by cilla12

Every day i wake up n want to know why im still here, my life is not that amazing others who are dying n have more to offer 2 this world are dying everyday due to medical reasons, I could save lives by giving up mine. I have been a door- mat my whole life n live n a house where no emotions are showed, can u imagine growing up n not being hugged by your parents? I am truely a Bill to my “real” father n my mom never lets me forget that but she never complains when that check comes. As i …

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3

Change

February 18th, 2010by heartbroken92

I was in love with someone for over 2 years. 6 months ago they left me for someone else..and it seems each day is a struggle to face it. I’ve tried commiting suicide over 6 times..each one different.. I’m just ready to find happiness and for the tears to stop falling…will I ever be good enough for someone to love me and not take advantage of me? Will it ever be enough to just throw it all away..some days I just sit and wonder..Crying softly to myself cause no one understands or is even there to help. I’m just lost and confused.

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1

Ugh.

February 18th, 2010by xMandyMoneyx

FUCK.THIS.

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7

February 18th, 2010by 77evergone77

im done. i fuking give up. I don’t care anymore, im tired of all of this. Just do me a favor and tell me the best way to kill myself before my parents or anyone can find me.

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0

February 18th, 2010by 77evergone77

“My hand floats along crystal waters,

and i cant help but wonder,

How long could i last under the surface?

Am i the next person

to stay long enough?

Im unsure.

im wondering whether or not it’s real.

and the only way to find out,

is to jump

just like jumping off the tops of buildings,

or drawing a hrd

cold line on my skin with the razor

My hand floats along crystal waters,

i cant help but think

how long could i last under the calm surface?

long enough?

when you know a seven nation army coulnt hold these feelings back

its time to let go.”

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1

Self Harm.

February 18th, 2010by Suicidexholiday

Carefully laid out on my lap is my black hand towel, and my tin, right in the middle. I open the lid of the tin, and stare at its contents. What is it about a razor blade, pill bottle, or any other sharp object.. That is so aesthetically pleasing? What is it about a razorblade that is so intricate? I could just sit and stare at these objects for hours on end. Analyzing every fine detail of its shape, and the capability it has to do anything as long as my hands guide it. What about a pill bottle? Knowing that you are holding what …

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1

A little About ME. Or who I am NOT.

February 18th, 2010by Suicidexholiday

My name is Chase Jaden. I am 17 years old, and I’ve had more than my fair share of problems.
Medications: 7
Different Diagnoses: 6
Mental Hospital Stays: 5
Attempts at suicide: 4.
I do believe that I am truly meant to die by my own hands. I really believe that a person should be able to choose between life and death and not have anyone stop them.
I love suicide. I think the idea of dying is beautiful. Suicide is art to those who see it as I do. There is beauty in anything. Even things like self harm and eating disorders. Only to those who see …

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2

suicidal hate

February 17th, 2010by hateness

hallo. Suicidal hate. Thats how I call my tire of felling. He was the one. Actually I just was thinking that. The guy. Lets call him Meth. So, yah, I first time met him in 2006, summer. He was 18, I was 12. 6 years differences between us two. How do we met? It was because of my friend. She was always asking of who do I like from this town, so I just said the first boy who passed us then. Why? Because I was thinking, whats gonna happen, he is irish, noone knows him. It was mistake. He wasnt irish, he was perfectly …

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2

the dripping tap causing excruciating pain in my head.

February 17th, 2010by jfinris

Post traumatic stress disorder that cannot end because you have to relive the events over and over kills you. Not literally but your emotions, feelings and the will to get out of bed. Lying under the duvet, sleep is evasive, not like crowding thoughts, Every avenue you explore is interupted by memories and physical fear. Its not about causing pain for the people who love/need you its this desperate need to escape from your mind. the relief from sleep, constant, is such an indulgent and yet obvious way out. Will I, I dont know, I buy time taking the sweeties prescribed by my gp. They …

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3

where’s the best place to kill yourself?

February 17th, 2010by godless

i’m a man(22yrs old) that only live to help my family to get through their life successfully after my father left us with nothing…and now i think my job is almost done and i need all of you guys out there to give me suggestions…urm…those people who want to say”don’t do it” please don’t mind bout this ok…i’m not in a bad mood or sober or depressed,in fact i have a wonderful time with my family….it’s just i think my time’s almost up and i need somewhere to enjoy my death….Thank you …..

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6

Stupid Life

February 17th, 2010by Omerta

I can’t see a way out of this. I’m torn between two, and there’s no right choice.

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1

BPD

February 17th, 2010by z

So I have borderline personality disorder. Everything is black and white to me. It’s a script I cannot put down. I always see people as either fantastic or hurtful and lame. I am afraid to tell my family because my shithead brother will just rub it in my face. But I need to go to them. I have no health insurance. I have no way to mitigate the damage. I need help. I have been stuck with this for some time. And while my diagnosis illuminates much, it also casts something else.

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2

Faking Life

February 16th, 2010by demonsinthenite

I work in boots, a chemist. Everyday I smile. Customers comment on my friendliness, collegues like me, but no one knows me really. I am 26, male, alright looking. Got a nice enough family, so why do I sometimes lie awake at night and think of ways to do it.
My job is ok, but I hate it. My family care for me, but I hate them. My situation right now is tough. Living at home since moving back from university, having not many friends… I fear closeness with people because I guess i’m sensitive and get hurt. I hate lies and games, I played them for …

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2

How do you deal with the guilt?

February 16th, 2010by Smitty

I’m so tired from life and all the challenges that I’ve faced throughout my life. Mostly the past two years. So sucks. I could have let myself die when I was diagnosed with Level 4 Melanoma Cancer and an Annurism in my brain. But, no. I couldn’t. Only because of my little boy. I just want to go to sleep and not worry about waking up. I’ve played with the idea of suicide since I can remember. Am I chicken? I am, but only the physical pain that it would cause me. Life’s so unbearable. I have an Ex husband I had to go back …

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1

To sleep perchance to dream…or smoke my lungs out because I probably wont’ die in my sleep

February 16th, 2010by janedoesez

So much anxiety and stress and lack of control over my feelings…to live in this mind is torturous…I can’t get myself to kill myself though. I don’t want to use a gun, or jump off a bridge, or jump in front of a train or bus.  Too violent.  I don’t want to slit my wrists, take pills or drown myself.  I am afraid I will simply end up maimed or an invalid, which would make life even harder.  I just want to die in my sleep.

I used to have a high paying job, but had to quit because I couldn’t stand the stress, partly because …

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0

Birth Was the Death of Me

February 16th, 2010by 77evergone77

“blood gathers around the slits,
wells at my wrists,
ancles, and stomach,
and glide down my barely satisfied skin.
dripping down.
down to a dark pool.
made by me.
and the help of others
dripping
past any care,
and right to where hope should be.”

 

 

“You strive for the top

because you crave the danger

but can you handle

the ever persuing fall?

every mountain has it’s precipice

which leads to a steep

fatal

fall

the sof wind of fake comforting words

accompany your decent

as the ensuind crash

puts you on the edge of death

and drives you mad”

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1

Not so bad..

February 16th, 2010by Caty

Hello. I’m only 14 years old and i know many of you whom may read this probably already had the thought, “why would she think about suicide? She couldn’t have possibly gone through anything in just 14 years.” You are right. Although i am 14 i haven’t gone through much. For the past few years i have been horribly over wieght. I’d get the usual pick on routine and names at school. “Fat ass. Lard ass. Ms. Pumpkin. Etc…” And as any normal human being i felt hurt and broken and completely cheated. Why would God give them everything? and leave me with all of the shit?.. …

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4

Bye.

February 16th, 2010by rampside-girl

Yeah I cant be arsed with this shit anymore.

life too complicated, so Im off, goodbye and good luck to everyone on here, I hope you dont end up like me.

Fuck life, sharpen the blade, run the bath, and pray that it works.

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1

Went to the shrink today…

February 16th, 2010by z

Well, more like two sessions, answered a thousand questions. The verdict? I have severe depression, general anxiety disorder, and border personality disorder. Cute. I had a therapist, prior, through the county to which I live that did not wish to give me the test because he doesn’t like boxing anyone into anything. Sound advice. For now I am straight-up more depressed than I was before. What hasn’t changed is my time-bomb mentality. Life is just one extraordinary shitty event away from me to losing control and taking my own life. I am getting older in age …

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1

What makes life great?

February 16th, 2010by anna778

Hi, I’ve never posted anything like this before, but the way I can relate to some posts is so uncanny that I thought I’d share a bit of my story.  Maybe someone has advice?  Suicide is becoming more plausible to me than ever, which scares and saddens the rational part of myself because my death would hurt my family.  Still, I have been emotionally isolating myself from them for some time now, I hardly understand why they would still love me other than the fact that we’ve shared a history together, and this makes me think that they could get over my death.  I don’t …

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