I pushed someone I loved away from me. Someone beautiful who loved me back, loved me without hesitation. I acted terribly and I still don’t know why. It’s months and months later and I still haven’t gotten over it. I’ve run my friends ragged with this and I’m about out of options. I don’t WANT to kill myself but the pain of knowing it’s all my fault simply won’t leave. I see no other way out. I guess it’s what I deserve.
i just don’t see a point to (my) life.
i have no goals.
i have no dreams.
i have no ambitions.
i can do almost anything that i want to and all i want to do is lie in bed all day every day.
i hate shopping and materialism.
i hate smalltalk.
i hate socializing.
i hate people especially judgmental people.
i hate sports.
i hate drinking/bars.
i hated every school i went to.
i’ve hated every job i’ve had. my job serves no purpose.
i hate paying bills. i have the money i just hate the process.
why am i so full of hate? i get bored […]
hey guys! if you have a twitter, tweet a few of your rays of sunshine under the hashtag, #MyRaysOfSunshine! i just want to see how many we can get tweeted! who knows, we may just start a trend! @sillybabypanda
Thanks so much for the positive feedback! It really means the world to me. I’m so happy that I’m actually getting through  to even just one of you. If I could help inspire just one person in the slightest bit, then all these posts are absolutely worth every second of my time. Each and everyone of you are worth it.
You guys are my sunshine. So beautiful and so vital. I hope you guys realize that you’re all so special.
I don’t know what caused you to give up on yourselves, but no matter what the reason is, there is hope and things […]
Soo..today is mine & my boyfriend’s one month anniversary..I know it doesn’t seem like much, but we’ve actually been together since October 5th..That’s about 5 & a half months<3
I may not be IN love with him (yet), but I definitely love him..he means the world to me. I'm just saying, I think there's someone special out there for everyone that can help you get through whatever it is you're going through just like he's helping me..(:
-Shannon;*
It hurts so much I can’t move, I can’t think, I can barely breathe.
I just wish I had a friend, someone who I could really talk to. Â But there just isn’t anyone, not anymore.
when i said more to come, i meant it!
apples, of course 😉
playing in the rain
splashing around in puddles
crazily dancing where no one can see me in my room
singing in the shower
camping
being the hero in younger girls’ eyes
barelypolitical’s youtube channel
and mattmitch1, too
all the love from y’all
music (is in my soul)
chinese food
knowing i made a difference, no matter how small
being a techie
taking beautiful photos
books, books, and more books
movies. especially in theatre.
our crazy lunches at school
taking fashion risks
getting compliments
giving compliments
ice cream
ghirardelli sublime white vanilla dream white chocolate squares (hint hint)
seeing all the comments posted on my posts when i check in
stargazing
sleeping under the stars
swimming in a lake
sloths
baby pandas, […]
I cant seem to stop cutting i dont want to cut but i just feel like i need it. Its the only thing that calms me down and keeps me from doing something much worse but i dont wanna do it anymore i just dont know how.
I am just so sick of it all. I am in so much debt from college that I do not even know what to do. Unless I can pull a miracle I will have debt collectors hounding me. I really see no light at the end of the tunnel.
I am completely unable to concentrate on my work because I am completely unable to stop thinking about the blade in my purse and the things i want to break and the cuts i want to make and the blood i want to spill and the pills i want to find and take and and and and and i feel like i am going completely insane and i don’t care about anything at all except for hurting myself. Â i can’t even concentrate on DBT skills which I promised to practice. Â i can’t concentrate on anything. Â i just want to hurt myself–with pills with knives with […]
I’m already dead… there is no life left in me…. my boyfriend hasn’t talking to me in a week. and i need him the most right now… I’ve been getting lots of head aches so i take advil… but i always take one more pill then needed… i know this probably isn’t a good thing… but i just want all this pain to go away.
i went to see my counsellor today.. we talked about how i have been feeling. i finally was able to tell her how I’m in so much emotional pain and i just want it to go away!
my mom and sister fought […]
1. i have CAPD (central auditory processing dissorder)
2. im bipolar
3. im bulimic
4. i cut myself everyday
5. im highly suicidal
6. the principal is like my best friend
7. i have no friends
8. i hide who i really am
9. im totally weird! haha!
10. i have a bf..
11. im not a virgin (of course ive been hurt a lot)
12. ive been raped 8 times
13. my family hates me
14. i was almost bullied to death
15. i almost commit suicide at school but the principal saved me
16. i wish i was beautiful
17. i wish i […]
the truth about me is that i try my hardest to be someone im not. if i were to go in school right now wearing what im wearing now (leggings, skirt, sweater) people would beat me up and make fun of me. instead i go in there wearing hollister and fancy rich people clothes. i feel kinda stupid when i walk down the hall, and this girl comes up to me and says this (one example) “you know youd look WAY better with a bag over your head right!?” me: “i dont know..” Girl: “well its true!!!” *walks away laughing with her 5 best friends* […]
i’m missing only one thing in my life, its to find love and all that mushy crap i could hone4stlty say then that iu a m happ;yu. i could honesry say i really amn hwsappy//// butt i never will be, andf never will i gert a girlk.
I was talking a few people on here the other night, and it set me thinking that maybe I could make a massive difference when my time is up…
At the moment suicide has a negative stigma attached to it, with the stereotype of the highly emotional, desperate victim making a final call for help. This may also be why it affects so many friends and relatives as they feel guilty they missed this cry for help before it was too late. Lets look at the other other side, the rational unemotional decision that you should be able to control at least one thing in your […]
Okay, so, I’ve been diagnosed with depression for just over four years now, and frankly I’m getting a bit tired of it all. My friends simply do not have the capacity to understand. I, an eighteen year old girl, cannot stand my own reflection. I have created this smiling persona, which serves its purpose of falsely leading the people around me to believe that I am ‘okay’, who is able to get all A’s at A Levels, but actually, I couldn’t give a shit. But maybe that’s the fluoxetine speaking? A few grades can’t make me want to live any more than the monotonous personalities […]
have a doctors appointment regarding my mental health. usually feel worse after them, from crying in front of the doctor, and feeling ashamed. I wanna not care what they think?
I suppose I suffer from what a psychiatrist would call a classic case of depression.
I’m not stupid. I know that life can suck at times for everyone, but THIS is getting out of control.
I have a TON of things ‘going’ for me; at least in the sense of having what MOST Â people consider ‘successful’…
A great, well-paying job, money in the bank, etc…but it doesn’t mean DICK to me…
I wake up every morning wanting to just simply be DEAD. This life thing is a cruel joke & I just want it OVER.
I’m already on Xanax b/c of my anxiety attacks -which are bad enough- but I just […]
I’m not too sure what to do anymore. Nights are the worst for this constant depression, days aren’t too bad because if i’m at work I don’t have time to think about them. I have to wear long sleeves at work though, weather it be hot or cold out just because  my scars and cuts make me a little insecure. But that’s not bad. Just lately, it’s been getting worse. I do NOT want to kill myself. I mean, I think it would just make all the pain go away but i want to see what live has to show me. I’ve been thinking lately […]