All the people who treated me like shit and accused me for bulling in the past wont stop picking on me. I have no job my parents are disabled no one ever seems to help me here in Cornwall. They all talk about how well theyy have it made and how acceped they all are and scream told you so to me. Im probably take my own life at the end of this month because no one knows i even exist yet alone help me.!!!!
I feel as though im stuck in a long tunnel and i see the light but everytime i try to run to it i trip over something and it taakes me along time to get back up idddk though this is just a thought/ simile to my life
i drag myself from my bed, from the warmth of my room, from the safty of my house. and go to what i call my living hell. i pull up. park my car take a deep breath and put a fake smile on my face. all i think is i dont belong in the day light. i walk through the halls full of liers and perverts, bullies and bitches and think to myself. i cant wait for college.
walking down the hall. my music blasting.. i look up.. and see your eyes.. the eyes that i used to love. and now every time i look into […]
I started to get Sexually abuse at the age of 3-10.  Well I’m 13 right now. Well I remember snap Shots of when I was 3 ! I don’t remmeber everything. I would go over my auntie house because she would baby sit me while my mom was at work. I just remember my cousin taking my dolls and me crying and he would say “You would half to do this in order to Get your doll back”. Which my cousin was 12 or 13 at the time and I was 3 . He molested  me lots of times as I can remember.He would tell […]
You guys I know most of you really want to leave the earth but I think you should go to bestgore.com to see what it will really look like after you kill yourself. I’m sure the images will deter you. If your having doubts or not really sure I’m sure that site will help you make up your mind or choose a different method I know personally it changed my mind :/
I’ve decided not to kill myself mainly because it’s what everyone expects me to do. I have this thing where I just can’t be a statistic or a cliche so I have to be the opposite of what people think of me….. I don’t think that makes any sense but anyways my future is way more important than the past and present so I’ll grit my teeth for two more years until I get out of here and hell who knows maybe I’ll find love again I don’t know what’s in my future but I sure would like to see it good or bad […]
For those who seen my pic yesterday am i ugly because that what everyone call me and ive been feeling that im ugly since i knew what that word mean
I can’t do any of this anymore. I tried so hard to do something new, to make myself happy. And guess what? It blew up in my f*cking face. Excuse the language. So, now I can’t see my best friend without wanting to cry my heart out. Long story short, I broke up with my boyfriend because I wasn’t happy, in general (not unhappy with him) and wanted space. Then, I find out my best friend is in love with me. A couple weeks later he has me wrapped around his little f*cking finger. Guess what I find out two days ago? He doesn’t want […]
You feel pain inside, and you see a fellow human hurting.
Do you give love or hate?
Do you talk to your fellow brethren in loving way?
or
Do you talk to your fellow brethren with hurtful words?
I really shiuld start taking my own advice i mean i give other people resons why they deserve to live but i tell myself all the reasons to die
It’s senior year for me, this is supposed to be the best year in school right? So far all that has happened is bad more than ever. Not even the school wants to help. I have been bullied this year more than ever. Rumors flying around and it got so bad that I had to go to counseling. I hate this place, I wonder if there is a God sometimes because if there is one then why does he allow this to happen to me. One girl vandalized my car, one spread horrible lies about me and the other stalked me. I feel like I’m […]
I’ve wanted to kill myself at various times throughout the past 5 years. Â About two months ago I started to become serious about it and began to plan my death. Â This was after I had gotten out of the psychiatric hospital (my 7th hospitalization since 17 years old). Â I was in the hospital for almost 4 weeks and received 6 electro-convulsive therapy treatments. Â I also got put on some new medications which didn’t do anything to no surprise. Â I was however started on adderall which was the only thing that got me out of bed and able two at least go through the motions of […]
I was at drivers ed tonight at my high school and there was a basketball game going on and i looked in and i saw all the girls with their friends and families and all i cant think is why cant i have that? why cant i have friends who will support me? why cant i have friends in general or people who like me? no guys are ever interested in me and the only guys that are, are the kinds that just want a ding dong ditch because i let every guy in that i can because they are the only ones that ever […]
Im barely holding on. All I feel like doing is cutting and crying one day. And then the next I’m invincible. I cut when I’m happy.when I’m mad.but I don’t cry or cut when I’m sad. I feel like there’s something wrong w me that I haven’t gotten to the bottom of yet. Does anyone have the same issues as me?
I surely don’t. That is I don’t care about myself. I care so much about the people around me. The people I love. But why can’t I love me?? It just doesn’t happen for me. I try to think “of everything will be alright and I’m gonna love myself and how I look”. No. That’s not happening. I’d rather not love myself and suffer than lose the people I love the most. It takes me a lot of time to open up to anyone. It took me like over a year to open up to my best friend. But I did it. And now I […]
I don’t know if we are allowed to do this but does anyone use skype or oovoo? If anyone wants to video chat I’m totally cool with it. I’m nice so don’t got to worry about me picking on you 🙂
My mood lately has been up and down. But I came to a breakthrough. I don’t want to kill myself anymore (unless I’m feeling real down then the thoughts come back) but overall I don’t. I realize I’m going to die one day anyways so I’ll deal with all the crap til I do. Cause 80 years really isn’t that long (if i’m that lucky).
I still feel like shit, try not to think about what a failure I am but it’s very apparent in my life so not thinking about it or being aware is hard to do.
Momz is irritating once again trying to intervene […]
Okay so my second doctor that i had told me that i had psycosis. Because i told here that i wasnt depressed but just fed up with the bullshit.am i really crazy