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  October 31st, 2010 by marine105

everything seems trivial. My job, my life, my relationships, I feel like it’s all meaningless and trivial. I’m an excellent faker, at enjoying myself and being happy. What I really want to do is go and slit my wrists open again, hurt myself, end this empty life that I know isn’t going anywhere joyful. A philosopher once said “happiness is a small desk with a very large waste basket.” who the hell wants to live like that? Not me. I don’t care if most religions say my ass will burn in hell for eternity, I just want the fuck out of this place.
Which brings …

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All those with thoughts of suicide

  October 30th, 2010 by LMA

Please take a look on the forum ” Surviving Suicide”
Reach out to someone and you’ll find out just how much people care about u. Often people aren’t aware of the dark place u are in. To lose someone to suicide is the most shattering, thing I have ever had to go through. The grief that we feel is beyond belief. Don’t let another family go through what we’re going through.

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This masochistic heart…

  October 30th, 2010 by lACi

Okay… so not only am i new at this but i’ve never told anyone either. I dont really know how to say everything i feel i need to say so if it comes out weird please dont judge me. This probably isnt even what any of you want to hear but if i dont get it out soon im going to have a meltdown. I already feel it coming on and it scares me.

So… to start…. it’s easier if you actually know the whole story, right?  When i was in highschool there was this guy that… well i fell in love with… let’s just call him …

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  October 30th, 2010 by sh08

I hate who I am. I have no friends. The only people that care about me is my family. The “friends” I have will say hi to me sometimes and what not, but im always by myself. Nobody wants to hang out with me. I’ll admit I am shy sometimes. I just hate who I am. I have felt this way ever since my family moved from the house I grew up in. We didn’t move far, but I just hated the fact that we moved and everything has seem to have been shit since then. Since we have moved, I have lost my grandma who used …

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  October 29th, 2010 by njames111

Im getting bullied home and at school it very hard. I get hurt every time I go somewhere I do not fill safe. I am a kid and I will kill myself how I do not know but I will find away because I can not take it no more it’s really hurting me I am failing school because of the bullying I can’t take all of this pressure I’m just going to kill myself.

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as i breathe oxygen

  October 29th, 2010 by meyoh

as i breathe oxygen i choke and my inner feelings gasp for a different brand of poison, one that would set me asleep for as long as i long for. don’t show me the way out. there isn’t any. don’t waste your time. just cut me deeply. think of me as someone forgotten. after all, i’m no one worth remembering. tell me mindless jokes. fill this night with a bore. for it shall be the last. don’t call my number. a voicemail is all that’d reach you. and no, in case you’re wondering, i am not here to tell you exactly how i got in …

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Dont know what to do anymore

  October 29th, 2010 by smilingshigagi

I suppose depression starting taking over my life very early. I was always being made fun of as a kid so of course I naturally felt withdrawn from everyone else. I have been very unsucessful in having one close  friend or someone I can talk to. Nowadays I mostly lose them because I’m depressed and  complain alot, or I lose them becasue I’m too afraid to get close . I can’t stand  to get hurt anymore than I already have.  When I was 18 I was  taken to a mental health facility by a school counselor. I honestly thought  I could get some help by being there but after a week or so my mom was

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Peter and the Wolf

  October 28th, 2010 by pitbully

This story is much funnier, if you pretend Tchaikovsky is playing in the background.

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i want to give up so badly

  October 28th, 2010 by GigiGoesRawrr

i’ve had suicidal thoughts since i was in middle school. i thought they’d get better over time but they’ve only gotten worse… i’ve tried killing myself more than once but i backed out at the last minute because i got scared. i think about it all the time though… the thought of dying makes me feel calm. i had it all planned out too… i’d ask my friend to let me borrow his gun and then i’d go to the mountains. just me and that gun. i have a boyfriend and friends and i love them all so much, probably more than they realize. but …

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Nothing Left

  October 28th, 2010 by Afortiori29

I grew up an orphan. My father has long been buried and, last I heard, my mother is crazy to a degree I wish never to emulate. After returning from my first deployment overseas, I learned I was never “intended” in the first place. I am caught up in a divorce where my wife has gone above and beyond the call of duty to makemy life a little slice of hell. I cannot find employment and the contract work I was doing is now over. I am broke, busted and disgusted with life in general. Even if I do get passed this-how …

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Dancing with BellaDonna

  October 28th, 2010 by Caleb87

And the hour is almost near, soon to be taking part in a rare death that few have done. Will the end be Enveloping light or consuming dark? Maybe reancarnation.

I have a few questions if there are any botanists on here or people who know about nightshade that would be very helpful to me.

See you on the other side.

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  October 28th, 2010 by john.doe

i wish the yelling in my head would stop. i’m tired and i want to sleep.

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Won’t be posting here anymore

  October 27th, 2010 by sakura_haruko

Fuck you.

You know who you fucking are.

All I ask is for a place to be my sanctuary without anybody I know barging in, but no, I can’t even have that.

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here it is

  October 27th, 2010 by unfixable

I was hoping someone on this site could give me an idea where to go on the web or anywhere that couldn’t show me a way out. I’ve tried doctors, electroshock therapy, counseling, etc. Been horrible depressed for 30 years and now anxiety is daily to where it’s unbearable. Doing counseling, excercise, all the typical “cures” My doctor has me on 8 mgs of zanax a day and basically does nothing. Somebody please, 30 years of hell is enough. Contact me if you have any ideas

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Break the cycle

  October 27th, 2010 by marine105

Kill me.
Kill me now, cut deep into my veins and bleed me until there’s nothing left
Nothing of me in this world
This wretched, hard, horrid place
Moving from mishap to mishap
never stopping
never breaking the cycle
I must get free of this cycle
The cycle bound by the chains of mortality
The only way to get out
to break free of my mortality
but the reason to get out?
to make life better.
what is this?
this world? full of paradox and irony
the universe seems to cackle at every one of the informed
bringing them down further and further
there is no happiness, there is no love
there is pain. sorrow. misery. regret. …

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Picture Interpretation!

  October 27th, 2010 by marine105

The title explains it all, think about what you think this picture means or represents.

a man in chains

and I am no artist lol so if the picture quality’s bad I do apologize

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Calling all atheists and believers

  October 27th, 2010 by marine105

I was just wondering how many people on this site do and don’t believe in God, and use him as a support or for extra strength. Anyway, the question is do you believe in god? If so why or why not? And most importantly how does your belief help you through your hardships?

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If you could sacrifice yourself what would it be for?

  October 27th, 2010 by Caleb87

You can also choose not to sacrifice yourself.

If you do choose to sacrifice yourself it can be for absolutley anything as long as it’s a truthful answer. I’m not going to name or hint at anything because i want to see what you all decide first.

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  October 27th, 2010 by marine105

I’m planning on making this a weekly thing. I’m just drawing how I’m feeling and seeing what comes out! Anyway, if you want to comment or just look, here’s my first one

The message on the knife is ‘worth’ and the message on the wall beside the girl is ‘vereor’

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This feeling, the numbness

  October 26th, 2010 by marine105

Almost everyone on this site is experiencing, has experienced or eventually will experience this.

Our feelings are not as black and white anymore, they’re not strong or weak to the external stimuli imbued upon our senses; really it’s just a numbness, extirpating mental perturbation but concomitantly attenuating sensibility and emotions. It all produces either a state of equanimity or mental chaos, depending on your level of introspection…

Basically, our feelings aren’t as simple as they used to be. There used to be a rational support behind our behaviors and emotions; now there isn’t. It’s all a mess, and we feel numb to the outside world. …

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