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14

nothing works

  October 15th, 2010 by mar0304

I lost my father to suicide in 1997.  He was 84, lonely, and depressed.  It was not a surprise to me.

I lost my son to suicide in 2007.  He was 24, well educated, intellegent, successful, had just been promoted with the police dept he was an officer with.  Had just bought his first house.  And I still can’t believe it happened.

I am 47.  I have felt different.  Lonely, yet want to be alone.  Always stressed, even over little things others don’t let get to them.  I have been in therapy off and on for most of my adult life.  I have been on many medications.  …

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3

Dear Love,

  October 15th, 2010 by brokenlostmisunderstood

I got the call today, from my doctor that is. It turns out my endometreosis has given me a tumor, a tumor that is infact malignant. With my family history and the way my health is currently, things arent exactly looking up. My mom and dad dont know. I could never break my moms heart likethat, i love her too much. As for my dad, well, he can just go to hell. We’re supposed to get married, love, in only two months. But thinking now, i cant. What if, it turns terminal, what if it takes me? Knowing the risk factor in this, i could …

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2

My truth

  October 15th, 2010 by Just a stupid kid

So this is it, the truth as I see it; I cannot help any of you, just as you cannot help me.

Everyone thinks I’m so much better and stable now than I was when I was 14, but even though it is evident that I have improved if you took away the anti-depressants that got me here then I would just crumble again. The pills don’t make me happy, they make me more balanced and stable and unfortunately I rely on that and knowing that makes me feel shit, because it reminds me that I cannot cope on my own. Also I can’t tell my family about how desperate I’ve been …

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3

time to die

  October 15th, 2010 by rustneversleeps

I want it all to end. I just wasn’t built for this world. For twenty years I seem to have fought a relentless daily battle just to keep going…and for what…to hurt more people? Alcohol,drugs,meds, you name it, I have abused it, the decade or so that I drowned myself being the worst. I have caused so much pain. Nothing takes away the desire to die, it knaws at me from the minute I wake until I eventually sleep. I can’t take it anymore. I have tried in recent years to alienate myself from everyone around me and I avoid relationships, I just feel sorry for my parents, …

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2

The realization

  October 15th, 2010 by the mistake

There is a certain age that we reach where we come to the realization about life.
For me the realization was that I’m not special or unique or talented or even needed.There is no prupose in life everything is ramdom.This world is COLD MISERABLE MEAN CRUEL and disappointing.
Everyone exists purely to serve themselves,even the charity givers,they do it because it makes them feel good.
When GOD made the universe it was magnificent,but when he made man
what a mistake that was.I no longer believe in miracles,I longer believe in anything love does not exist and …

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5

Maybe you can help me?

  October 15th, 2010 by ohhhellna

Hello I’ve been trying to find the most peaceful way to commit suicide for the past 5 months.   I have read all the book’s by Derek Humphrys on euthanasia.   Yes the first page of every book tells me not to read any further if I am depressed.   Well who cares I am.  Recap:  3 months ago I was sitting in my apartment sitting drinking a beer playing a video game(not a alchol abuser)  and I was astonished by 3 local police officers at my apt telling me that I am under the states temp control and I have to go to a

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1

someones GOD

  October 15th, 2010 by LittleLisaMassacre

all i ever do is try and make people love me i get into the most absord relationships every guy i ever date cheats on me or leaves me for a stupid reason the first guy i fell inlove with left me beacuse i kept calling him freaked out because i was raped absord i know and im the idiot the newest love of my life ive been with for almost 3yrs now hes cheated on me more than 9 times with internet dating lines i hate it i feel worthless we have a beautiful daughter who will soon turn a year old and what …

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5

I wish I was a hero/cool kid

  October 15th, 2010 by RogueShadow1281

I wish I could be a hero for once. Take a stand instead of saying I’m a do it real soon. Sometimes I wish I could be a cool kid, getting hugs by random girls, and have fun doing cool stuff. I wish I could have my first kiss. Have my first girlfriend. Get the girl of my dreams(Nycolle). But life can never be a fairytale and because of that I will never be remembered as someone great. Why can’t I get drafted at 15 years old instead of 18 years old so I can die for something greater. I don’t want to be that …

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1

i’ll come down from this trip one day

  October 14th, 2010 by marc

i enjoy reading these posts ..they really seem to help me feel better…but its obvious that we’re all on the same page..with our illnesses..so we’re not alone..just keep telling yourself that..i want to be a friend to anyone in need..or if you just want to talk about shit..hit me up at marc.gambino@yahoo.com

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3

The easiest way to die

  October 14th, 2010 by deadgirl2010

Hello people..

whats the most lest painful way to die i can get medication pills like Advil (ETC..) and i can get a gun and alckohl but im just ready to leave this place ive done my goodbyes and my good deads

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2

I really wish I could talk to someone.

  October 14th, 2010 by mahmudy

when suddenly there’s a thick brick wall between you and the one you usually could talk to. when suddenly you could not enter your sacred sanctuary anymore. hold on,buck up, i tried and i’m tired. looking back, what you said back then seems to be nothing now. maybe it’s my mistake i fall for you. and it’s certainly a mistake telling you that. i know. you’re very special to me. i wish when i told you i just want to let it all out,want you to know, i wish that was the truth. i try to believe that, that is the truth. but i’m …

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0

  October 14th, 2010 by suicide season

i’m not going to say any bullshit like i’ve had a hard life because i’m sure there are people out there who are far worse off, this is more of a way to relieve some anger or feelings because i don’t want to talk to any friends about this. i’m 17 now and some people would consider me pretty popular. i started having suicidal thoughts when i was only 13 which is fucking scary. my dad left when i was 2 years old and i still talk to him and see him every week but theres no real relationship because i feel he will judge …

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3

Obligated to continue

  October 14th, 2010 by Firepith

I feel trapped here by the people who care about me. I dislike causing pain to others, even if they will die and forget all about it. Perhaps that is irrational?

So I go through the motions of life. I can’t see how this is preferable to me being dead, except for that everyone isn’t crying about it, and my household has an income. (Though were I dead, I wouldn’t have the capacity to give a crap anymore)

I see my future as hopeless. I have a son in kindergarten and another on the way in the spring. What am I to tell them? “Sons, life doesn’t …

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3

Untitled…

  October 14th, 2010 by Malfeitor

something I wrote recently to reflect upon myself, this will most likely have little or no meaning to you.
Also, pay attention to the start of each line (lines start after periods).

Luminescence ov the Universe, swallowed whole by gaping jaws ov the Abyss.
Into the void I walk through it’s perpetual seamless gazing eyes ov torture.
Flames ov black fire, enraged with berserked fury.
Engulfs all life into smoldering cinder.

I inhale the ash of 6.6 Billion, earth choked out by its charred remnants.
Sulfur is the potent poison in my veins, corroding like acidic pools ov Tartarus, consuming me.

Visages of mortals projected in Astral Chaos.
Oblivion claims this worthless soul.
Impaled by …

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3

im weak

  October 14th, 2010 by hattie

im weak. people see this.. they feed off this… people are not good. deep down no one really understands anyone else’s problems… or cares. deep down everyone judges and condemns. deep down everyones a vulture.. feeding off the weak, and not so deep down, life’s a *****.

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2

You’re not alone.

  October 14th, 2010 by hoping4better

I’ve read through some of these posts at various times in my struggles. I’ve turned here when I was done and ready to plan a way out. I’ve turned here when I really needed to see raw emotion, to help me understand my own. I’ve turned here to see that I wasn’t alone in my thoughts. I wasn’t the only one going through something that I felt like there was no end to…

I know if you’re at this site and reading these, you’re either looking for tips on what method or you’re looking for someone to say “I’ve been there, it gets better.”

Let me be …

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1

interconnected thoughts

  October 14th, 2010 by marc

painfully obvious that my eyes and my thoughts and my pain aren’t my own. i’ve been tasting colors with my dilated pupils and i’ve transcended my anchored skull. i can’t even look you in the eyes anymore. i’m a fucking animal. i’m a rabid dog. euthanasia is my resolution to this empty and dried skull face. keep my mouth watered with the lord and hide my demons from my angel mother. lets see how far this waste will last. until it paints my bedroom walls blood red. schizophrenia taking me further down than hell and i can feel the earth rotating with my temples. triangular …

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1

Life is wearing me down.

  October 13th, 2010 by Farmkat

It’s not as if I’m not trying, or that it’s all in my head.

Everything is whittling me away and I feel as if I will break. Fail a test, not the end of the world, I can re-take it. Just try harder, study more and it should be all right…

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0

love gone poem.

  October 13th, 2010 by amethyst97

He loves me…
He loves me not…
He loves me…
He loves me not…
I loved you once…
You loved me not…
I loved you twice…
But I forgot…
‘I love you… But you’ll never love me…’
You never loved me…
You never will…
But even so…
I love you still…
Forget the times he walked by,
Forget the times he made you cry,
Forget the times he spoke your name,
Remember your feelings arn’t the same…
‘You leave me here, with my broken heart to bleed.’
Forget the times her hand held yours,
Forget the sweet things if you can,
Forget those times and don’t pretend,
Remember now he’s just a friend…
And you think:
‘Will I ever get over him, or is my heart going too …

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0

  October 13th, 2010 by souhila

i think that the suicide solution is only in something that we hate

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