Then i’m gone. Then i’m gone. Then i’m gone.
That’s how i feel 99 percent of the time. I feel so alone. I hate bein alone. I hate it because I can think. And its bad when I think. Nothing good ever comes out of that, only scars and tears and bad thoughts. I feel like everyone is forgetting me. Why can’t I be normal and loved? Why did God have to put me in this place? I hate living and I wish I was dead. Nothing good ever happens so there is no point to it then. Why hurt when freedom is just on the other side? It doesn’t cost to die. And […]
I cut myself on Christmas. I didn’t think i will do it. When I realized, i was already wipping blood away and more appeared. It wasn’t deep enough to scar. It was just amazing in a scary way to see the red blood against my skin. Strangly, afterwards, I felt cold down to my bones. Like something is trying to burst out from my body and i vomited.
So much has happened today and I’m all very sick. Cold and tired. Life has somewhat become a stand-still. Nothing too bad, nothing good. It’s frightening that I’m getting used. Being alone, being useless. I sit all day at home, watching […]
I can feel the darkness fell my heart! I can’t see the warmth of Christmas after Losing you. I have felt this feeling before! My cancer is overcoming! At times I wish it would take me so my pain well stop! The one who gives me joy love. And happiness is gone. I love you Suzanne!
I called a suicide hotline…..they hung up on me. Go figure.
Sorry but I just happened to stumble upon this site….. Hullo My name’s Aj, I’m 16, a self-injurer, and have recently been dealing with suicidal thoughts so uh here it goes:
Background: Father- beat the crap outta-you kinda dad, Mother- I love her to death but she married an ass, never been to a physc….probably should, and my family believes that suicide is a cowards way out.
I haven’t dealt with suicidal thoughts for over 2 years. By this I mean thinking about it everyday and constantly planning. For some reason the thought of me ending my […]
They say the holidays r harder then most other times… Maybe its true, but… I just feel lost all the time. I feel selfish cuz my depression is sparked from something so petty compared to others real problems. Non the less, I feel so torn up inside…
Despite wut my loved ones say, iv never done anything to make any1 proud… Getting through highschool so many years ago was the highlight of my achievements and I haven’t had the desire to progress ever since… I’m at a dead end job and will never be able […]
Hello, my name is Jessica. I’m going to tell my story like how someone writes a book, I am used to it that way.
I was born with Development Delay. From that point on, it would be guaranteed that I would be nothing but a freak, different from everyone else. I am an older girl in a younger girl’s body. Things were looking okay, besides for the fact I went to a “special” preschool. I was guaranteed I wasn’t affected mentally. Things struck me like a brick when I received my first bully, my Kindergarten teacher. Even for a development delay child, I seemed to react […]
There were a couple of people which built their own machine and ended it all. Gruesome because uasually they aren’t found for days or weeks. The head still has conscieness after being severed for a few moments maybe a minute or more. Seem like it would take some carpentry skills and some basic common sense as to how it would actually works.
As I’m sitting here, I’ve heard at least 3 different gun fights with in blocks of where I live. It every night there are gunshots just blocks away. I think did anyone get hit, or are the drug deallers just shooting randomly.
So many people posting their story.. Thought I’d post mine.
I guess all the ‘bad stuff’ really started when I was 11. Sure my dad abused us before then, but only as a dicaplin. Pulling the hair.. Slapping the face.. Kicking your ass all the way up the stairs to your room..
When I was 11, I was molested. May 6th, 2005. About 4am from my guess. It was at my best friend’s birthday party. Her dad. Needless to say I don’t really talk to her anymore. She got too messed up for obvious reasons.
It wasn’t too bad really. I just woke up with his hand on […]
I was going through tough times, I had depression, struggling with an eating disorder, and just feeling so different. I felt like no one understood and that I was  this freak. This girl that no one understood, a girl that people laughed at, a girl that people gave dirty looks to.  I fell into a deeper depression, (which i still am in now) About a month ago, it was only cutting, which seemed harmless to me. It almost felt nice, i was numb to pain now.
I stopped for about too weeks.
Then it continued this time, only more intense, more deeper and it became a daily […]
Im 20 years old and can not take life any longer. I have a severe un-interest in life.. I grow bored and am growing to feel a hate for the human race itself. I love my family and friends but I just feel I could have coped a couple of thousands of years ago. Just not in this time, with all the needless labels humanity has created for simple personality traits… for example, if your an overly ”shy” person that likes being alone and has the ability to enjoy your own company your ”labeled” as a unsociable freak that needs medication. everything is blown out of […]
Injustice, insecurity, and very many problems.
Not a clue where they came from or how I could solve them.
Nights seeming darker, feeling more sorrow.
No anticipation for the day or the sun of tomorrow.
Concrete in my veins, a wrecking ball in my head.
Years of self hatred, wishing I was dead.
Crumbling away slowly, until there was nothing more.
I swallowed back hard, and sank to the floor.
Somehow still alive, but still without life.
Just a small spark of hope things would go right.
Days grueling on, forcing myself forward.
That glimmer of hope keeping my heart between my shoulders.
But time is only temporary: three months slowly passed.
That speck of hope the last […]
I don’t even really know what to say or how to say it or what direction I am going to go with this but I want someone anyone to hear how I am feeling so their will be no questions…I am not a weak person I am very strong mentally and physically but at some point as a human being when is enough enough? Over the past couple months I have lost my job not have any contact with my daughter and on xmas eve my girlfriend of seven years broke up with me. So in a matter of months I have lost everything I […]
How many people here are gonna do ligature asphyxiation?
I’d like to talk about it with someone
mrsebastior @ gmail . com
I’m sorry for leaving you.
I just couldn’t handle this phobia.
I ain’t placing any blame.
I just wasn’t happy.
Only when i smoked weed and/or did zopiclone, played guitar and talked to george.
When i smoked weed and/or took zopiclone, playing guitar feels kinda spiritual, like i’m connecting with the drugs, guitar and music.
But when i come down from the drugs i’m just right back to square one.
Depression. Because of my phobia. And i just sit and cry, wishing i’d die
I was actually gonna go months ago, but i stayed, for you mum, and george, who’s my best friend.
The only true friend and person i ever talked to. I’m […]
Hey. How’s everybody doing? I have a question: Does anyone know how many people who have posted on this board have actually committed suicide? Just wondering…
if you were wondering about my disspearance it was because of my 10 day stay at another hopsital for cutting and sucide attempt again. I ended up cutting while i was there i trying to kill myself witch made me have to stay even longer. i am fine now and the scars are starting to heal. but its getting harder and harder to not cut. Sucide plans keep popping up in my head left and right even while im happy. I was thinking about kill myself today idk im just so sick of having to be strong for everyone else but no ones ever strong […]
Hello my friends,
I hope the Christmas day is not being too unkind.
The intention of this post is to introduce myself. I imagine I will be here for a while, and thought it polite to do so before sharing out the trite advice of which I find so often to be true. But I must first apologise; I am in a bad frame of mind tonight and realise I may sound incomprehensible.
You should know that i have decided to make a change. I have decided [selfishly] that to better help myself, I will attempt to help others. You see, I have run out of ideas and am now desperate. This is my […]
I can’t live with this phobia any longer
I told you all it’s what made me suicidal and i wanted to get it sorted out before we started with the ocd and anxiety therapy. Which we didn’t ’cause my therapists didn’t listen to me.
I ain’t placing any blame even if it sounds like it.
I’m sorry for leaving you mum, don’t think i didn’t appreciate all you did for me.
I’m sorry i never showed how much i love you and how much you meant to me.
We had our ups and downs, i still love you though, no matter what.
And dad, i don’t really know what to say, […]
Do you ever feel like you  live your entire life waiting for something?  Wait until next year, then things will get better.  Wait until I  graduate high  school, college, law school — then life will start.  Wait until  I  meet the  right guy, then I will be happy.  Wait, wait, wait.
I’ve been waiting for almost 15 years now.  I always think  the next accomplishment will be  the one to make me happy.  But the longer I live and the more I accomplish, the emptier I feel.  I graduated from high school at the top of my class.  I was a National Merit Scholar and […]