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1

3 years

  August 29th, 2010 by gpimpman

I met a girl around 5 years ago.  I knew from the second I met her that we would have a relationship and a child together.  I have a gift.  So I waited around for two years.  Yes I went thru several girlfriends.  And then one day out of the blue I got a phone call from a friend of hers asking me to come over and “hang out”.  We were inseperable for about 8 months.  We split up and a few months later we got back together.  This time we lasted about another 8 months.   And split up again.  This time I really thought it was …

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8

Clam Bake

  August 29th, 2010 by z

So I was thinking. All this stuff, all this toiling around, all this “making it work”. All this sexual love for Lindsay Lohan. What does it all mean? Why lust and love and hate and waste? Is there any other measure of existence other than this ejaculate? Seems silly to suggest that somehow one is responsible “to the death” for honoring the spew all over one’s hands. Yuck.

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9

I am sorry everyone.

  August 28th, 2010 by Codename Dreamer

I know I haven’t been on here in ages, and there is a very good reason for this. The Love of my life is dead. After un-bearable news, I am forced to believe that there is nothing anymore to truly live for. Yet this festering hate for all living things and happy people is not enough for me to end my life. I don’t expect it to come back on this site, a lot of you have more pressing things and more problematic issues going on in your lives, in which I understand any criticism that you wish to feed me. Long storry short though, …

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13

Cutters Lullaby

  August 28th, 2010 by rollergirl1234

Cutters Lullaby

Go to sleep and close your eyes

And dream of broken butterflies

That tore their wings against a thorn

You know the pain that they’ve endured

Silver metal shine so bright

Scarlet blood that feels so right

Dream of that blood trickling down

And wake up just before you drown

The moonlight shining off your tears

As you bleed out your worst fears

So tonight when you start to cry

Whisper the cutters lullaby:

Hushabye baby, your almost dead

You don’t have a pulse and your pillows red

Your family hates you, yout friends let you bleed

Sleep tight with a knife, cause thats all you need

Rockabye baby, broken and scarred

You didn’t know life would be this …

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2

Monica here . . one hour to go

  August 28th, 2010 by monica1

HI everyone I changed my name slightly cause I lost my passwrd for here, 

Thanks for everything you have said , which we could be friend and tonight Am dying. I am cucrently sitting in on a sofa with pilliows supoorting, my hands handcffs an my neck restrained (gently) I canot more now from the poisition In. I hav taken 7 beta blockers (recommended) and 4 sleeping pills , but I only had four)

I have music on loud and I am chair dancing so to and feelingood and on the last song i will pull the on the hood and I will say goofbye – pease …

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3

Bloody Friend

  August 28th, 2010 by rollergirl1234

      Bloody Friend

I take my handy friend

My friend to the end

I put him to my skin

And press with all my whim

Stinging needle pain sweeps

Blood flows, I start to weep

Cutc, cuts everywhere

I weep, but I’m not scared

I really want to die

This is what I do

Instead of talking to you

Cuts everywhere

Their my friends

And will be ’till the end

 

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1

Alive

  August 28th, 2010 by rollergirl1234

This is a poem about when I tried to commit suicide

Alive

I cry in my room

I’ve thought out my plan

To make it al better

I reach out my hand

 

I pop the pills

one by one

I stare at the wall

I know I’m almost done

 

I reach for my

Perfect little friend

Who’ve I ‘ve gone to

To make the pain end

 

Red lines of flesh

Cover m ashen skin

Blood drips to the floor

Releave starts to

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1

You know what’s probably our biggest problem is?

  August 28th, 2010 by niki

I think it’s because we can’t seem to find someone, a friend, a person/individual whom we can really relate, connect, and understand each other..in our real life.
To find a similar like-minded individual,
or someone who’s probably undergoing or in the same situation like us..in our real-daily life.

You know..the more I see all the thread posts here, and seeing also the comments by other people, which can actually sometimes even give so much comfort, relief, and even there’s somebody I’ve read that can keep continuing her life, because she probably got encouraged, inspired, and/or helped by the comments posts from others; the more I see & observe all …

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0

Scars

  August 28th, 2010 by rollergirl1234

This is a poem about my Self-injury. (this was when I was in remission, which I’m not anymore)

 Scars

My scars are everywhere

left and right

big and small

Their marks to show my fight

 

To show my fright

Of  S.I.

Of which

I almost died

 

They tell a story

From which I cut

it into my skin

and kept my mouth shut

 

I’d watch them bleed

let them flow

I kept it a secret

Know one would knows

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1

  August 28th, 2010 by rollergirl1234

Nothing has changed since last night. Accept the fact that I’d cut myself last night. 50 on my right arm and 20 on my left. Some of them small. Others inches long. Some deep. Others just little pink lines. Some hurt, some don’t. Although, my arms look terrible. But, not like I care or anything. I’ve been listening to music or reading all day. Which is my usual routine. I haven’t cried yet today, which is amazing, since I usually wake up crying from my nightterrors. Speaking of which, I didn’t have one last night. Weird. Since I usually have 2 or 3 a night, …

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0

High School is Gonna Save Me

  August 28th, 2010 by Violet Blake

School started back up last week.

I’m glad. I know it’s a weird thing to say, but I am extremely greatful to be back in school, even though it is High School (AKA the suckiest place on the planet).

It’s just…..the summer changes me. When Im not in school I become this matrix for self loathing where all I do is stay home and mope around the house like the miserable human being I am by that point. You see, I tell myself that I prefer being alone, that the company of other people just makes me want too go eat dirt instead, but this is very …

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1

hope

  August 28th, 2010 by bharathi

i was just trapped by someone.he got my mobile number and daily chatting and at last he proposed me…i am very stupid to accept him even without knowing him,his behavior,his background.i just believed him in such a way that i used to neglect my parents too..once he came to my house when my parents were not there..then he saw me in naked position..after that incidence..with in a few months he went out of country..one day my brother came to my house and i told him that i was loving someone and he wants to marry me after he returns to India.because of caste matter my …

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0

To my two best friends… I’m sorry

  August 28th, 2010 by trashley

I’m sorry for the times i yelled
or pushed you all away
I’m sorry for the secrets I kept
and the things I couldn’t say

I’m sorry for the lies I told
to help me hide the pain
I’m sorry that I couldn’t fix it
Or get over feeling ashamed

I’m sorry that I needed you
more than what you thought
I’m sorry I always surrendered
in the times that we fought

I’m sorry I couldn’t understand
why you  felt betrayed
I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you
what would have happened if I stayed

I’m sorry you never believed me
when I got the courage to tell you the truth
I’m sorry you walked away
when I told you about the abuse

I’m sorry for …

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0

hope

  August 28th, 2010 by bharathi

hai this is a teenage girl with no hope in life and with depression.

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3

The problem is . . being human

  August 28th, 2010 by sky

I spent the majority of my life despairing at the fact that we are all born into slavery, the knowledge of which gets you ostracized and medicated. I gave up a long time ago on trying to live apart from this system, it’s impossible. 

Now I have gotten so bad with my despair of living that I find everything about being a breathing fleshy human being, absurd and just another prison. we are slaves to this body that we carry around with us. We must keep cleaning it, styling it, feeding it, exercising it. I feel sick and annoyed now every time I shave my legs, …

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2

how to feel

  August 28th, 2010 by hattie

you know how people say you have to be alive to feel, and there fore commting suicide solves nothihng because you cant feel that relief you so desperatly desire, well i say fuck it! surely to feel nothing is better to feel like how i do every day. why is death so bad, if its less painful than life? plus, id rather be a black hole of emptyness than just feel like one. who can judge and critisize you when your dead?

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2

Attempting to numb it all

  August 28th, 2010 by imreadytogo

I was just recently raped by someone that I knew and it was all because I went on another binge. I just wanted to stay home and drink until Monday morning. Ended up making a really bad decision to attempt to make amends with someone that I had a falling out with. I bought a box of Burgundy, within a few hours it was gone. I got a drunk text from the guy and we decided that I should hang out with him and go to his house. I went down in the morning and he and I continued to drink. It got really bad …

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4

How does it stop?

  August 27th, 2010 by Katlans

How can I stop feeling so down? I feel lonely, sad, helpless, hopeless, unmotivated… With all these feelings overwhelming me, I don’t have the energy to even try to better myself. How can I get past it?

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1

Im so… useless.

  August 27th, 2010 by disconsolate

I go to school then come home, everyday. I’m just an inconvienance, a burden If you will. I dont get it, I have little to be distruaght about.
Yes my arm is riddled with scars, but Ive been doing that before that age of ten their is little meaning behind it, It just feels good.

I dont have a reason to be posting this. If you guys read my previous post, I’m just saying i’m still here I guess. I dont plan on being here longer than a couple months, I just have to make final revisions on my suicide note.

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0

  August 27th, 2010 by rollergirl1234

I haven’t been on here in a while. Nothing has really changed. Accept that I’m in remition for Bulimia. Other than that, nothing. My self-harm isn’t an severe. But I still cut myself. My best friend came down last Friday to spend the wek. When she saw my scars, she freaked. I guess she didn’t believe me when I said that there terrible. Her and I had a good time, I guess. We went to the mall to go school shopping and we went to the movies. We also went on an 8 mile walk up the Erie Canal. We saw lots of grofittie. Some …

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