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0

just got to let this out hehe…

June 6th, 2009by ixidor_11

i know my issues aren’t worthy of suicide compared to others but i just got to let this out hehe… i guess this may not be really about my thoughts of suicide. though i sometimes feel like ending my own life just because of reading other people’s pain and sorrow…

grades don’t matter but why can’t my father see that. he’s always bringing me down. always telling me how brilliant he was in college. that i ought to be like him. but i’m not him and never will be. he always contradicts me on everything even when i was choosing which school to get into. i …

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1

Alone when no one trust me

June 4th, 2009by Suicidal

I thought i could trust them

Thought they were my friend.

My broken soul that trembles as i wake

My parents who left me to die alone

I may struggle but no one helps me

I fall deep under my shattered blood

trust me alone with the knives left…

Left on the counter

i walk slowly over to them

My hands shaking

I can’t do it all alone

The pain to keep my arms held up.

The pain to live alone with

No one who loves me not at all

my bitter mind shuts the harsh cold world out

The keys to my broken soul is lost

People can’t understand when i fall unto my …

my floor with no breath left

he …

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2

It’s like my life will never change!!!

June 4th, 2009by assassinX

I’ve suffered from post tramatic stress disorder for the past 13 years of my life. And only 2 of those years, I’ve acually been getting some suport through councelers and meds. I’m 19 and I live with my only friend in the world. I have no family and no other friends to support me. I’m broke, job-less and running out of time. For the past month, I have been applying and dropping off resumes everyplace close by, and still I am waiting. I owe my friend and his brother $325.00 for rent and bus pass money. If I don’t get a job soon, I’ll be …

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2

Just Dont know what to do

June 4th, 2009by Jenny

Hello

I’ve chickened out so many times but I know one day I will do it. I do feel guilty thinking of people that have died that would have given anything to live I feel so selfish. I was abused when I was younger and cant speak to anyone cause it was a family member. I think of the family and how that news would destroy their lifes so I keep it bottled up so they can live their lifes normally whats one life compared to so many. For a while I was happy but that all ended it seems my life is just meant to …

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4

only one holding up

June 4th, 2009by tess

i was bored today, so i started looking around the site again. i haven’t poked around for a while now. as i was reading people’s stories, i found myself envious of them. i think i know why. some of the people here- correction, MANY of the people here have already attempted suicide. and i am jealous. it’s not just in this online world, it’s in my reality too. it seems ok for everyone else to break down, but not me. a kid i had known for years hung himself in the week before his bar mitzvah. we saw my neighbor get carted out of her …

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2

Alone Then Dead

June 3rd, 2009by Suicidal

All alone in this place of no hope

All alone in my saddest sorrows

With no where to turn but my self

With all my fear until i fall

Fall ungreatfully into the

melted memories of him

The times he said he loved me

All just a lie, I try not to cry but the tears fall out

Alone until he finally sees me

Alone and waiting ut hes gone and i know it

The worst part is my parents hate me more and more each day.

My own hate toward myself my own regret

My tiny drops of blood

Then i died.

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3

June 3rd, 2009by pammy

I really have no excuse; I have a good job, one I worked hard to get, I have money in the bank and few debts. I am reasonably healthy, although a little overweight! I have two children, boys, one employed one in college. I even own my own home.

So let me tell you a tale of woe, and you can judge me for yourselves.

Fourteen years ago I lost my husband to a sudden, unexpected heart attack. My parents did not bother to offer support until made to by my siblings, who were great at that time.My boys were only six and two.

Then I found out …

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4

My Mistake

June 3rd, 2009by freak15

When i was 12 i lived in kaufman, the best place i have ever been to and lived. I use to get in to alot of messed up situations with my parents and my friends. I lived in a trailer in the middle of nowhere and it is’nt a pretty site there either. I used to be grounded for a long time and my best friend killed herself. I always wondered about myself, what if i wasn’t alive, what would my parents even care about me anyways. It was Janurary 2nd 2006, i was home by myself and i kept wondering if i should do …

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0

My friend that is my suicide

June 2nd, 2009by Suicidal

” I’ve often thought of suicide as my anwser. But now i regret it. I Slit my wrist way to deep all the blood rushes from my gentle body as i lay crimped up on the floor i wonder if anyone even cares. My funeral was horrible no one even bother to release a tear. not one. No one came to claim me as there’s. No boys seem to take a look when i walk by they just go on&on about the measly lives of the tiredness of the others with in the room. No counselor seems to listen when i scream at the top of …

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4

Impossible to go to sleep and wake up to another day

June 1st, 2009by Freija

I don’t want to live anymore, it’s that simple…

I am a dreamer, and throughout difficult times in my life, I always had this light pulling me toward better days.

I am now 35, depression has always been a part of my life, and I am feeling exhausted.

I lost everything, I am left with nothing.  Building my life again would take me an incredible amount of strength that I do not have at this point.

I know what is the core of my endless suffering: I simply need love.  But that cannot be done consciously, and when I have truly loved, I have always lost.  I cannot keep …

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9

hopeless

June 1st, 2009by ray

not sure why i’m writing/posting this except that i so crave someone to talk to.  this will have to do.

i just can’t see how things are going to get better.  ever.  i’ve made such a mess of things.  i feel like i am holding everyone around me back.  like i am the one stopping my kids from having access to a good life.  i am such a complete loser, unable to function most of the time.  i can’t provide for my family and we are now in dreadful poverty.  if i were to die everyone around me would be better off.  materially, there is no …

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5

looking for a way out

June 1st, 2009by everwaiting

I am a 17 year old girl and I found this website while seeking least painful methods of suicide on Google.

If I had half an ounce of courage in my veins, I would damn painlessness and go out messily: off the edge of a building of with a bullet to the temple. I am, however, extraordinarily cowardly when it comes to agony. I would be inclined towards an overdose, but I hear that’s a horrible way to go – vomitting. I would inject some air into a vein, but where would I get the syringe? And I’m no fan of needles… In short, the recurrent …

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0

cliché

June 1st, 2009by BoBo

I’m sure many posts have started the same way mine will; I’ve never written a post before in my life.  But things have escalated to the point where I have to say this somewhere…..anywhere.  And this seems as good a place as any.

I was married at 18, got pregnant on my honeymoon, so had my first child by the time I was 19.  My husband and I had known eachother since I was 13 and he was 15.  We were the best of friends until things started changing when I was 16, and we fell in love.

I honestly believed my life was set.  We had …

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4

someone please listen

May 31st, 2009by bubblecabeza

I’m a 17 (almost 18) year old girl and this is my brain’s rant session.

I’m extremely distant from reality pretty much all day, my life seems so pointless and corrupted that I create these fantasies about people, usually guys, I wish I could affect, but actually am just obsolete to.

After seeing the film Girl, Interrupted, I had a kind of wake up call that I was almost identical to Susana Kaysen who had Boderline Personality Disorder, it made me feel like I could define myself finally instead of being this pathetic outcast. I took a test for this on the internet and it confirmed that …

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2

my body is still here but my mind is gone

May 31st, 2009by miss_faerie

I am depressed.

I am an insomniac.

I have an obsessive compulsive nature.

I am paranoid.

I can’t cope.

It’s been said that admitting your faults, admitting your issues, is one step on the way to recovery. But when your 2 million steps below the surface, one step doesn’t make that much difference.

I can admit to you, to anyone, those 5 things. I feel understand how those 5 things are related to me. I could even give you examples of how they come across in my every day life.

None of this makes me feel remotely better. What used to make me feel better was alcohol and other self-destructive materials. I …

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0

Let Her Be

May 31st, 2009by JessikaBxD

Take a look around
This is our reality
This is the way we all are bound
It’s the concept of conformity
Not allowed to be who we are
The worst of our beliefs by far
Taking away our individuality
Who are you to change her
Change what the world will see
Who are you to tell her
Who she’s supposed to be
Who are you to hold her
And never set her free
She’s not like everyone
She doesn’t do the same things they do
She doesn’t want to be like you
She is a different person
The sun sinks behind the horizon
Another day
Gone away
Another day pretending to be you
Why’d you change her?
Why didn’t you tell her?
You don’t know who she’s supposed to be?
Why won’t you …

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0

Irresistible

May 31st, 2009by JessikaBxD

Don’t bother trying to save me
Just let me be
I don’t need you anymore
So please shut the door
And walk away
I’ll see you again someday
I know it’s dumb
But I wanna be numb
I’m tired of hurting for you
So sick of trying, too
I’m sick of trying to hold on
When all hope is gone
I’ll let it all go tonight
I’ll give up the fight
The stains on my shirt
This addiction to hurt
I can’t take it
I’m weak and I hate it
The blade at my wrist
I just can’t resist
I’m weak and I hate it
The blade at my wrist
I just can’t resist
I just can’t resist
Drawing a shaky breath
Thoughts of death
Dragging it across my arm
Doing less good than harm
It burns as it …

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0

Broken

May 31st, 2009by JessikaBxD

Slowly one by one
All these thoughts they come
Escape is an obsession
All products depression
The world’s frozen still
Broken glass on the window sill
Let go of all you knew
They’ll all forget about you
Can’t hold it together any longer
Thought you were stronger

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2

3 Things that Helped Me, Permanently

May 31st, 2009by thinkingabout

1. If you go to a therapist, which I very, very highly recommend, be aware that you might have to go to several before you get one you feel can really help. Reserve the energy for that and know that there is a caring, competent one out there for you, despite the ones you may meet at first. It’s worth the search, the most important search you will ever make. Don’t give up just because you may first encounter therapists you ca’t relate to. They all aren’t the same. The best are educators. They will explain how people, you and others, behave the way they do, …

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no more chances

May 31st, 2009by lost hope

I have been reading some of the stories which describe such deep pain that I wish I didn’t feel.  I am tired of feeling.  I am tired of being an outcast and a victim.  My mother and my father sexually abused me as a child.  However, they always appeared as the “good” churchgoing couple for the last 30 years plus. How do some people live a life of hypocrisy and crime, get away with it and even prosper?  I didn’t remember the abuse until years later.  Although, through the years there were hints, signs and flashes until it finally came together and I

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