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2

A more.. formal introduction

  May 29th, 2010 by Matt

Over the past week or so I have left a comment or two on these forums as well as a post of my own about 10 days ago. This is not my first time using this website, I have posted in the past but I have always avoided becoming an active participant in the Suicide Project community. Lately though I have been thinking a lot about the idea of suicide, and reading the posts of others on this site has given me some new perspectives and ideas to reflect upon. Ultimately, I hope to find others on this site who share my views on life, …

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4

It’s a Stupid Reason, Really

  May 28th, 2010 by Anonymously Yours

It’s such a stupid reason to become suicidal over your appearance, isn’t it?…

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2

IM HERE!!!

  May 28th, 2010 by Christina

I keep writing this over and over but yet again if anyone feels the way all you feel its def. me! if anyone knows that suicide is a blessing and would be amazing if it could just happen and w/e it would be me but the only thing i hate is to ever see anyone hurting the way i do thats why im here i wanna do it so bad but just haven’t yet but i do want to, but i believe if we all stick together we all understand each other so we can make it through this we just need to all stick …

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2

heart breaking angel

  May 28th, 2010 by j0808

I remember like it was just yesterday. We were both 15 years old, and so in love. Her birthday is only a day after mine. She was and is the most beautiful girl I had ever met. She was the only girl to make me as happy as I was, the happiest I’ve ever been. Her name is Alisha. We met through friends who we shared, when I met her I had a girlfriend at the time, but we weren’t serious, and didn’t plan on being. Alisha, from the first day I met her was the nicest, sweetest, kindest, most giggly, enchanting, beautiful, amazing, funny, …

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0

Rammstein – Spring

  May 27th, 2010 by Motogp

This song has been in my head the last few days.

Rammstein – Spring

English translation:

On a bridge, quite high
A man holds his arms open
There he stands and still hesitates
Right away the people swarm in droves
I won’t miss out on it either
I want to see it up close
I get into the first row
And scream

The man wants to climb from the bridge
The people begin to hate
They form a dense crowd
And don’t want to let him down
So he climbs back up
And the mob begins to rage
They want his innards
And scream

Jump
Redeem me
Jump
Don’t disappoint me
Jump for me
Jump into the light
Jump

Now the man begins to cry
A cloud moves in

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2

When is it acceptable?

  May 27th, 2010 by aStrangeAlien

Is there a certain point where it becomes acceptable to end one’s own life?
I’m a severe alcoholic, I recently blew about five months of sobriety by drinking again. It didn’t turn out well. I smashed my windshield and got my third owi. I’ll get up to a year in jail, fines and lose my license for that. The thing with drinking is once I start, I’m powerless to stop, and I do crazy things.
I live in Wisconsin, somehow I ended up in California. I’m not sure why I even came out here, but I’m too broke to get …

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14

i hate my life so, so much

  May 27th, 2010 by C1223

I’m in the process of taking painkillers that I’m chasing with vodka/rum. I’ve wanted to do this for as long as I can remember. I’ve wanted to die for so long. I waited and prayed for God to kill me but he never did so now I’m going to do it my way now.

Its funny. My life could be a lot worse. I made the cheerleading squad at the college I’m transferring to. Something I wanted really bad and worked really really hard for. I got a good internship for this summer that not only will pay well but will look good on my resume …

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6

I cant die.

  May 26th, 2010 by Beawr

For well over a year i’ve been trying to kill myself. and ive concluded i either suck horribly at suicide, or im not spossed to die.

It started when my baby died. I got one of my friends pregnant, and she knew i wanted a kid really badly, and she lied to me about even being pregnant, and got an abortion on top of it all… she didnt even have the guts to tell me.. her best friend told me and gave me proof…

Then i gave up everything for someone.. spent seven months with a girl, and was 200% dedicated, i gave up more …

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2

Fallen

  May 26th, 2010 by steven

i’ve never been so angry… i was the one bringing her down.. until i started to really care. i wanted things to work like she wanted them. i realized that i really love her. and then this fucking bullshit happen.. we fought. we broke up. i was sad that she was gone, but still she was scared of me. then i find out she fucked him.. and it devastates me.. i’ve never been so messed up in the mind. idk what to think. my heart is gone, my feelings with it. only two stay behind. to make things worse.. anger consumes me. i get so fucking mad …

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6

silent cries.

  May 26th, 2010 by sbm

I can’t remember the las time I hadn’t cried myself to sleep. I feel pain, a painful deep stab in my heart. I don’t understand why. I wish we had suicide help lines here. I even tried calling one of the help lines at the US, but they hung up when I said I wasn’t from there. I really don’t know what to do. The only thing stopping me from doing anything is my family. My family is very important to me, I love them very much. They haven’t done anything to deserve the pain that would result from me killing myself. I’m a disappointment …

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2

Age-Old Question

  May 26th, 2010 by Lanfear

Why would God allow people to suffer so much without any glimmer of hope? It seems cruel.

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4

i dont want to think this way

  May 26th, 2010 by Lanfear

what is wrong with me??

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8

Making it stop

  May 26th, 2010 by JustThoughts

I’d like to make it all stop, even though i know its not the right thing. I wouldn’t have to guts to do it, i wouldn’t be that stupid becuase i know it’s not the right thing for me. There is so much more out there. But i dont feel like going on with what i’m doing in my life. I at some point want to die, and want to disappear. I don’t give a shit about many of the people who seems to care for me, and i’m so tired of it all. I wanna go, but i dont want the action to take …

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2

I hung myself in November of 2008

  May 26th, 2010 by chrstn

At the age of 19, in November of 2008, I hung myself and lived.  There are wooden dowels caddy-cornered in my room.  I tied a towel around one and put my head through until I passed out.  When I woke up, my head was still hung in such a way that I shouldn’t have.

I was involuntarily baker-acted.  For about a year I was on Lexapro.  Now, I’m on a drug called Pristiq.  I take vitamin B12 on top of that.

Still, I am seeing a psychiatrist.  It doesn’t help.  I have nightmares every single night and no one really cares about them, but to me they feel …

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3

I Hate Feeling Human

  May 26th, 2010 by rhage

My life hasn’t ever been easy, but nor has anyones really. When I was really young, my drug addicted mother attempted to sell me for heroine. My Great Grandmother found me and then took to raising me untill she died when I was eleven. She was the closest thing to a mother I’ve ever had and at the time I took to self destructive behavour. I moved in with my father, who I never really had a connection with and didn’t trust. It just got worse. He also used to abuse me, and that didn’t help my own mental health at all.

Eventually, he stopped when …

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4

No sleep for me

  May 26th, 2010 by 77evergone77

  

Most 13 and 14 year olds would be asleep by now, or at least sneaking around having fun. But not me. I’m awake, and dancing with the devil.
I know staying up all night gain won’t make the bags under my eyes any better than dreaming. Trying is pointless anyway, it will always end the same.
My dreams are never actual dreams, only inescapable nightmares. Just another form of torture God decided that I deserved. The big problem with the dreams, is that they are actually my worst memories made even more gory and traumatizing by my overactive imgination. These dreams are the elite of frightening so …

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22

New boyfriend

  May 25th, 2010 by EmoChick

So i got a new boyfriend and i love him alot. I kissed him good luck as he got ready for his band preformance im just scared that the girl i got in a fight will ruin it because i wont be her friend anymore. Since i blocked her from everything. But she was littarly killing me with every punch i took every time i got beat up and everything she said just got me closer to the feeling of death i just want to be happy to make a recovery from my depression i just dont think this girl is gonna let me do …

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9

I Want To Remember

  May 25th, 2010 by Violet Blake

I never thought I would want to remember this year.

So many bad things have happened to me this year that I just don’t want too ever look back on; my suicide attempt, my lack of firends, my parents divorce, my dog dying, people at school treating me like a complete freak, and now my best friend Drake is graduating and leaving me in the dust that still remains in high school.

But you know what, I want to remember, because of him.

Drake and I haven’t been friends for very long, but it feels like I’ve known him forever. We have done everything together this school year, …

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1

I Am Stretched On Your Grave

  May 25th, 2010 by Anna

A recent post has been made concerning the song ‘Gloomy Sunday’; a song originally by a Hungarian composer which has been covered many times by various artists and has been linked to numerous suicides.

I realise completely that my last few posts have been largely music-related; whether they be comments or posts themselves, and I fear this shall be no different. But recently the desire to die has subsided somewhat, and has been replaced by simple contemplation of death. My scheduled death date still exists within the pages of my diary, but I currently feel little desire to commit suicide at this very moment in time; …

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3

Pathetic. But why can’t I forget him?

  May 25th, 2010 by Dolli Darko

The moment I met you,

it didn’t take much.

We fell in love,

now my heart you clutch.

In your beautiful hand,

on your beautiful arm.

You shied away,

I turned on my charm.

A little blue pill with molly and glass

put our relationship on turbo,

we were going fast.

I ran from home,

left all that I knew.

To be with my love.

To be with you.

I sit here alone,

wishing and wanting

you to be by my side.

This feeling is haunting

my thoughts day and night.

I lie awake hoping

the words you said were true,

we will soon be eloping.

I pray while I’m here,

your feelings don’t alter.

Last night I had a dream

of you at the alter.

Before I finish this poem,

I want you to …

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