dont know that much about anything after all i am only a teenager. but i honestly believed that this website was to vent and help you feel better. not worse. so, now. thanks to some jerk.. im crying my eyes out because for once in my life i spoke (wrote) what was on my mind and my heart and got tols “you diserve to die”.. thank you ass hole…. you just made a depressed litte girl who lost her dad and has a shitty life you diserve to die… hope ur proud of yourself..
anyone from California? If so, where in Cali? Just curious.
Ok, I am totally against ddestroying ones self but really I am destroying myself everyday..Laying in the dark high on opiates is the best you can let go of all those thoughts running threw your head you feel good for once and your carefree all the negative thoughts go away they dont matter anymore you feel more comfortable in public no anxiety it all gets blown away and if you do enough its a peacful death its like you slowly fall asleep and you feel great and your so comfortable and warm and fuzzy happy feeling and then you say to yourself i wanna live […]
I see that miror
ugly person there,
hate that person thats there,
why cant he die,
first time didnt work with 13 pills,
but promised him I wouldnt kill myself,
ill cry,
why do those emotions do this to me,
cutts well look better in the miror,
miror miror,
why dont i like you when I stare into you?
I’ve been thinking about sucide for awhile. See the point is I hate my life. I’m so alone, ugly and fat. I’m a pathetic loser. No guy would ever love me and I really don’t have friends. I started college a few month ago and that getting to me too. I honestly don’t what to do. If I kill myself I know nobody would miss me, so why don’t i do it?
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Well, probably not tonight.
Today I received a package full of death-inducing goodness in the mail. It was easy to buy, all online and inexpensive. It’s actually quite amazing that one can get such things shipped from another country to one’s door. So now I sit in my room pondering what value my life has, whether or not tomorrow might be worth waking up to.
I could wake up and struggle through another day of distant interactions, masks and acting. I could continue to watch my personality degenerate while everyone looks on, gaping slack-jawed at the freakshow. Or I could simply put on my favourite music, leave […]
I feel very depressed and lonely im anti social Because of my anxiety no ones understand Im very attractive that’s what the women say but I go from one to another because I never feel a real connection so now I do have any one to talk to because I refuse to waists my time all I want is
some one to understand I just feel like time is passing me by envy and hate keep me away im just tired life don’t suppose to be this way
Ok.. well I’m not sure why I am here. I don’t know if I just want to be around peopke who relate, or some one to point out the wonderful reasons I have to live without knowing me. Maybe I want somebody to get to know me. I’m not sure. Its been almost 3 years since my last failed attempt. My family concluded it was due to my drug addiction wich I guess is easier for them than seeing whatever this darkness is invoked my addiction. Anyways since I had my last attempt I escaped the drugs n alcohol. Got a career and married a […]
if I don’t feel the slightest bit better, it’s been nice having your presence grace my life. Gooiid-bye.
Today at lunch, one of my friends was sad.
I asked her why, but she wouldn’t respond.
I asked her friend right next to her, and she mouthed me the words, “She thinks she isn’t pretty.”
I felt my very own heart shatter, I’m not sure why.
I told her to get up and for us to go to the bathroom.
She luckily agreed, and I could tell my the look on her face that she was truly sad and she truly believed that she was ugly.
Well we went to the bathroom and there were people in there, so neither of us said anything, she just stood there in front […]
so im 19 years old and im depressed…i’ve been depressed before to the point where i did almost commit suicide but right as was about to pull the trigger and i just couldnt.I just wanted it to end, then my parents found out and i ended up going to the hospital on 2 separate occasions at the time i was cutting,burning,and choking myself  a year has past since all that and now im feeling the same way as i did before i just hate life and hate this world the only thing i can trust are my dogs,im lonely and heart broken but i belive […]
i cant find one good thing about myself – i hate this feeling
I Mean Everything is telling Me to, I Fail at Whatever I try, Each time I Manage to take a Step in the Right Direction, its 2 Step Backwards, Like God (If their is On) is Laughing at Me, People Around Me Don’t Seem to Care, they Use an Excuse Like Oh You Can’t I Need You to Do this, or Do that, for their Own Amusement/Need… I’m tired of Everything, the Only Relationship I Did Manage to Feel Loved in, I Fucked Up and She Won’t Even talk to Me (Not Going into Details, its Posted On Here). Everything I try to Live for […]
Every time I cut, I feel so much better, like I’m getting high. Whenever my parents see my scars, they look at me with disgust, and it confuses me. They wanted me to be happy, they told me that I had to be happy or else I had to go. This is me being happy, letting my emotions go. They used to say my happiness was important, but that’s all they sayed to me until I just gave up. Ever since January, I’ve been on lock down, all my family trying to save my damned soul, but I don’t want them to. I want to […]
Last night I began to throw away all of my personal belonging.  I hardly looked at them because I didn’t want to linger in any memories or meanings they might have had… and they all did. I threw away some CD’s, birthday and valentine cards. It’s strange, actually going through with what I planned out. I don’t want to leave any trace that I was ever there. I don’t want my family to go through my things and be sad. They shouldn’t. If they knew all the bad things I did, they wouldn’t cry. I’m sick of trying to redeem myself, because for me, if […]
Well… From the outside I have it all together. Good job nice home family n all. But I’m miserable. I don’t have a long list of deep. Traumatic events. I just generally have a disgust for life. I’ve made attempts. Tried a gun chickened out. Strangle by tying a rope tight around my neck. Was discovered. Od on painkillers. Slit my wrist. Went to a psych ward for that. The doc asked if I was serious about suicide. I said if I was serious I wouldn’t slit my wrist I’d cut my hands off. I was released and refered to a counseling service that was […]
I have tried to focus on the positive. Tried talking to someone. I feel like I’m just going through the motions and nothing is working anymore. I have felt suicidal for a large portion of my life. I was hospitalized in May and tried to kill myself in my hospital room. I just want to hang myself or slit my wrists. Or overdose on my meds. I feel so alone and I just can’t do this anymore. My family doesn’t understand. Nobody does.
I don’t want to tell my therapist because I don’t want to be in the hospital again. It scares my friends, but I […]
It’s been awhile since I’ve been on this site.
Man, just when you think life gets better, it doesn’t.
From what I’m told I’m moving and ironically it’s in the same place my ex lives -.- don’t remember if I’ve mentioned that already in one of my older posts but w.e
I’m 16 and I remember when I was in grade 6 I remember promising myself that I would never drink until I was 18, never smoke, do drugs or even have sex until marriage, all I have to say is Ha!
I’m currently trying to buy a pack of cigs, tried weed and used a bong, never had […]
Guys, I”m getting really worried. I’m completely alone for the next 2 weeks. I’m feeling like the one person I feel any kind of connection with is about to walk away from me. Anyone in the mmod to talk to me? If you had skype that would be great because this site doesn’t work too well for me.
hi im 16 and i tried to commit suiside last night,my brother and mother were gone to the city and i was alone in the house.
all that day in school i was feeling pretty low,im in my second last year at (high)school and i was listening to my sad music on my phone as i walked home from the bus stop.i entered my cold dark empty house with no one there accept my two dogs,i went up to my room and cried a bit in frustration at this life i didn’t seem important and totally pointless.i always keep a razor blade in a little box in my dresser,took it […]