Long story short, I feel like it would be better to die then live through the pain, guilt and agony knowing that I did something to people that loved and cared about that they can’t forgive and hate me for. I was on Cymbalta, yes prescribed by a Doctor and about after 3 weeks on it I got in an argument with my GF’s Grandfather in the car, I was told to get out, later he dropped my phone off to me while I was walking back I guess, I don’t remember everything, just what I’ve been told… anyway I assaulted him through the car […]
I want to die. I do. I don’t know why, but I’m contemplating it seriously right now. I know I can’t fucking be that selfish but I don’t know what else to do. I want to do something…I want to hurt myself. I’m so lost and alone right now, someone please talk to me…It sounds dumb, but I’m so scared to die… Please help…?
Hey guys, My name is Megan , I’m 13 years old, & I’ve felt like harming myself before just like the rest of you ..I know your thinking, ‘Oh well you wouldn’t know anything about this stuff your only 13.’
Well , The truth is I do, I went through alot in my life, My dad was military & was gone all the time, & Then my mom went to Iraq for a year, & Thats when it hit me the hardest, I started dressing different, acting different, & Would make myself throw up, everyday so i’d never be in school I failed everything,& […]
I tried to kill myself on tuesday….. i must have taken 30 or so pills, but that wasn’t enough…….i didn’t really feel anything until yesterday, my stomach was killing me and i had the worst headache. I should have taken more pills, 10 more would have done it, make 15 more, but now I’m all out. How many does it take, i don’t want another failure.i just want it to be over. I Â was so close………..
I have had so many thoughts of suicide. I have cut myself and i have burned myself. I did that because it felt like i couldn’t talk to anyone because no one understood what i was going threw. I felt like that was my only way of getting my feelings and emotions out. I had so many problems at home and school and it has gotten way worse. Ever since my parents split up my family and i haven’t been the same. My mom and i constantly fight, I’m always in my room.A fight that i always have with my mom is that I’m not […]
just one more day i tell myself, then ill do it. i…….. no one cares about me, no one. i have no friends…i cut myself all the time, i have about 20 deep cuts on my legs right now. ive told ppl and they dont care, they just yell at me. i used to drink alot but i dont so much anymore but  i think im gonna start again now, i ………its an escape, i dont remember how bad things were the morning after, i feel happy and warm and fuzzy and i love it, the taste is good, it helps, stupid psychiatrist told me […]
FUCK EVERYTHING! I just trying to forget everything and live my life with no limit. This shit is so damn hard, and I just can’t stand it. But something tell me I have to live like I was dead. and by that I mean to like, i don’t know.. HAVE NO LIMIT! And just live free, live a “good” life, live life. Just try to forget the sad stuff, at least hide it, and just be a crazy ***** or something. You’ll be so much more happy about yourself 🙂 haha. (Sorry my language )
I’m new to the site but have been thinking about ending things for awhile. Â I am looking into the helium hood method but haven’t found the courage to do it. Â I have also thought about the carbon monoxide method but found out newer cars do not emit enough carbon monoxide. Â Does anyone know if a 2001 Toyota 4-runner can be modified to produce enough CM to do the job. Â It passes emissions in Georgia? Â My greatest fear is that it will be an attempt and not a suicide. Â I don’t want to do that to my family and I already have so many health issues […]
Life isn’t fair, I’m sure we have all figured that out. What I think is the most unfair part, my whole life. It’s not fair how I have so many great things in my life and all I want is to die. I just broke the record for goals in a season in Field Hockey, I have a house, food, and clothing, an entire family, and I’m healthy. (physically healthy I mean, like I don’t have any diseases) I just wish that I could give my life to someone who wants to live and can’t, like some one with cancer. That would be fair. If […]
I once had a friend who was opposed to the idea of antidepressants. I was too at the time, and I don’t like the fact that I have to take them, but I ran out of options. Anyways, she argued that our ancestors didn’t have pharmaceutical drugs, and people living in third world countries who’ve gone through much more trauma still have the will to live. Anyone have thoughts on this? Yes, depression is a mental illness, but what do you think the reason is for today’s higher rate of suicide?
Why? do people not say good-bye. Why? must they depart and leave me alone. Why? was it too late? Many people had left. My pen has vanish. My world… curupted under pressure. What else could i lose now. What else must crawl away from my presence? How i die so much each day knowing i have nothing else. What else? The one i left dont want to be with me anymore. I worry so much that each day could be our last. I want it to last forever… but forever isnt enterity. If i must… should i crawl on my broken legs before i faint.
I once read that a possible cause for suicidal thoughts, is when pain outweighs your ability to cope. Pain could be any number of things, physical, mental, I’m going to talk about loss. Suicide It isn’t weakness. I’ve coped with a lot. I’ve been molested as a five year old, beaten as an 8 year old, beaten in high school, cheated on by many girlfriends, and have always manage to fake a smile. Â But I’ve lost, something that is without a doubt more dear to me than any kind of innocence… I’ve lost my child. I’ve only loved one person truly inside and out, I […]
It fucked my brain too much.. sitting at home and at home.. The best way to get depression is stay at home.
So i took a friend and we went out to the night city. It was amazing. Finally i felt myself AGAIN ! I met new people from 6 different countries, made a little party, got beer, pizza, nicotine and didnt care about anything – just laughed.. laughed like some time ago :] From all my heart! IÂ call such out goings “soul reloading parties”..
So i talked with foreigners and they opened my eyes.. I mean, in my little crazy country we are pushed to […]
i am so sick off people telling me to keep strong and stay brave maybe i dont want to maybe i’ve had enough off being strong and fighting all the time for hings to get better for….. it all to go wrong again…
a year a go i tried to kill myself with a massive overdose and if i was found like 20 mins later i wouldnt be writteing this i still hve the scars where i had to be shocked because my heart had stopped why couldnt they just leave it that way… 🙁 i had to face my family and friends yeah but now.. […]
Just as I presumed, things can get only worse. And today, they got much much worse. I am currently failing two of my classes, my parents are screaming at me to go to school even though I dont feel well. My sister is pissed at me and threatened to kill me if I disturb her sleep. I wish she would so I wouldnt have to. Anyways, I have a big project that was due today and if I dont turn it in, ill fail the class and might get kicked out of school. I’m killing myself. Theres no question about it. While my parents and […]
I don’t have any feelings anymore, except for sadness. I forgot what happiness feels like, what love feels like, even pain. Even though I am smiling, I don’t feel anything.
I am numb.
An empty shell, lost of its emotions.
Waking up in the morning almost seams worse then dying. Knowing that i have to go out and put on a completely fake smile and act all happy for everyone. i have to walk around and pretend like i want to be here. When people look at me they wont even know my thoughts of death, they wont know about the 20 or so cuts on my leg burning with pain. All they will see is some stupid fucked up girl who’s “happy”. If only they could see inside and know how I feel maybe they would say something, but probably not because those who […]
I am just curious, how many people really here have some kind of belief in God. It seems to be something that I am reading more and more, some belief in God …. So I am just curious, if you believe, why?
Just got out of bed, it was the phone ringing that forced me to it today. A call from some volunteer organization I registered to join approximately three weeks ago. To tell me they were past their capacity and couldn’t have me. Of course. They are just flooded with people just itching to work in homeless shelters or accompany the sick and dying in hospitals. Someone do something to stem the endless horde of volunteers….please.
Oh man rejected from volunteer work. I’m really too tired to get depressed about this today. Sometimes you can only revel in the absurdity of it all.
Besides what better start […]
If Black=ugly and tall=ugly and ugly= no value or worth, then why live? I don’t understand the reason for my existence other than sole purpose to be grateful they aren’t me. I haven’t managed to kill myself because i still fear the physical pain that must happen before the end. The pain of being alive still isn’t strong enough to make me go through it.