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2

I thought I was the only one…

  October 28th, 2009 by brad90210

I am a 25 year old guy living in California. I’ve had suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember. As time goes on, the thoughts have increased in frequency. I feel like I’m trapped… Like there is no way out.
There are a lot of people in the world that would like my life… why don’t I?
I should be grateful for this life… but I’m not.
I think about buying a gun, and going somewhere far away from people and ending it. But my inner voice tells me that this isn’t the time; I still have things to do on Earth.
wtf do I have to …

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4

Help me!

  October 28th, 2009 by Daniel21

First off, i am not doin this because i want attention. I am doin this because i need help, and i dont know how to get any help other than this. I am 14 and i have been depressed since the 3rd grade, i even started havin suicidal thoughts then. Although, now things have gotten a lot worse. I have had to take time off of school because of this. 4 sum reason i cant even focus anymore there. All i can think of anymore is puttin a gun 2 my head n pullin the trigger(and yes i have put a loaded gun 2 my …

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6

Why Doesn’t Anyone Notice?

  October 28th, 2009 by tate

Why are people so oblivious? Why does no one seem to care? It’s not like I’m making it hard to read. I tell you up front. I explain in advance. I beg for help. I scream out my problems in horrid detail.

I’m depressed.
I’m angry.
I’m a cutter.
I want to die.

And still my “friends” are able to overlook it. Still my “friends” don’t see when I’m in a bad mood. They are genuinely surprised when I make excuses to leave. They are honestly astonished when I tell them …

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2

O_M_F_G!!! u wont understand!!!

  October 27th, 2009 by katherineendsitnow

why doesn’t anyone understand that I can’t just keep living in this life where i dont care or feel anything? I’m fucking numb. he abused me from ages 4 to 8 sexually. and i cant get over that. it’s not that fucking easy. i hate him.
i want to kill him.
i cant tho because i’m too fucking afraid to see him or go anywhere near him/.
that fucking ass whole stole my childhood and dragged my life along with it.
i hope that mother fucker rots in hell.
i just wish i could forget everything that’s happened and never look back. but that isn’t going to happen so …

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0

help?

  October 27th, 2009 by parker123

heey ,

i feeel empty, like theres nothing left in me… like i cant breathe i think about suicide alot! , almost twice a day i have tried to commit 5 timess.. 3 by over dose and 2 by cutting… i currently have been self harming to realese pain.. i need a way out i need someone to talk to ,

please if anyone can relate

cassiesmith7@live.ca

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1

why?

  October 27th, 2009 by helpless

Why do i feel like dying? why am i frigtened of suicide? why am i not affected when someone commits suicide? why does my mother hate me? why are people constantly abusing me? why?????????????????

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4

Flipside

  October 27th, 2009 by jf79

As i siad yesterday I keep feeling my time is near, I was right.  It is.  See ya on the flipside.

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0

My brother Shot Himself.

  October 26th, 2009 by lsmith260

On August 16, 2009, I recieved
a phone call early in the morning
that my brother shot himself.
I jumped out of the bed and went over his house. The scenero is a terrible feeling that i wish no one
will have to experience. I even had to identify his body. Since he
passed away my life have been
distorted with pain. I had also
planned to kill myself because
he was a major part of my life and now since he is gone i no longer
have a best friend or big brother.
We use to take our kids to the
circus and parks and now i am
taking …

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16

please let me help

  October 26th, 2009 by whydiebeforeyourtime@gmail.com

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.

if you’d like to talk about Him or …

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4

Life?

  October 26th, 2009 by pk23

How is it that I have parents and siblings who love me friends who care for me and good grades nothing bad yet I still want to die and I compare my life to others who have the complete opposite of mine and they want to live but they have such slim chances of that. I want to die I’m not happy ever and I feel so guilty for thinking and feeling all of this when so many people would give anything for what I have. I hate feeling this way it makes me feel worse and I don’t know what to do with my …

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1

Not quite life

  October 26th, 2009 by susan5

I think I’ve figured it out. Well, sort of. What I mean is how I can go through life with this constant desire to die, but never the will to. It’s not that I want to be dead, it’s that I want life to go away. I want to live a life that is as close to being dead as possible, while still being alive. Does that make sense? Of course not. I just hate life and the feelings that life gives me, but I still want to be around to wish it would go away. But I guess life stripped of the troubles of …

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2

Introduction

  October 26th, 2009 by jf79

Not really good at this,  never posted anything on the internet before.   Hmmmm, I am not a teenager,  desperately poor,  medically uncomfortable or in any way outside of normal.   I have a career, a beutiful daughter and a wife that wants to be with me.  There has always been something there, and i cant explain it.  It won’t go away.  It is an expression of anger, mistrust, and fuzzy grey whiteness that will not go away.  On the outside I am sociable, happy, a people person.  On the inside I hate myself for not being the real thing, and the worst part is not being …

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1

When people are really blind

  October 26th, 2009 by paradise_lost

A friend of mine told me I’m ok with all this sufferin’, as if I really mean to be like this to punish somebody or to, even worst, punish myself. Maybe once I refused to give my parents the awful pain caused by my death, but now there’s nothing… really nothing that wants me to be here.

If I’d have the opportunity to love and to be loved, I’d go through everykind of pain and sufference to scream I’m still here and I want to fight again. ‘Cause I want to live, not to survive. There are still so many things I love… the peaceful …

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0

I’m still here

  October 26th, 2009 by sennex

The only reason that I’m still alive and able to write this is because I’m not ready to inflict such upset and pain on my loved ones.
Over the years I have seen too many relatives and close friends suffer lengthy, painful and undignified deaths. Following the death of my mother several years ago I determined that it would not be like this for me and made plans for my own suicide, I have chosen the place and method, aquired the means, just the time remains to be decided. This was to be when either I was no longer able to live with dignity or any …

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0

maybe its not us

  October 26th, 2009 by stained

The 1st time I contemplated suicide was when I was 9yo ( sitting in a room with at least half a dozen rifles within reach), I am now 34. I don’t really want to die, & I figure that, deep down 99% of the rest of you don’t either. We just want life to be nicer, & not to be walked all over by the people who don’t get it & who seem to breeze through life without letting anything get to them.
My whole life Ive felt that there is something very wrong with the world, & as I get older, I think I’m figuring …

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1

Why is it so Hard?

  October 26th, 2009 by pk23

It’s hard talking to people about my feelings, people I know, and I act happy and nice in front of everyone when really I’m not. I’m fat, mean, gross, rude, repulsive, disgusting,  greasy, and people hate me because of this. My body looks gross and disgusting it makes me want to puke everytime I see it and I hate seeing all these beautiful people at school and then comparing them to me, it makes me hate myself so much more. Seeing all these skinny, pretty girls and seeing this fat, ugly thing walk by them it’s disgusting. I have no good qualities and I’m pretty much worthless to …

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0

When Will it End?

  October 26th, 2009 by pk23

My Grandma and I were really close she and my Grandpa lived in our basement and everyday I would go down and hang out with her then she had to move to a home, because of her parkingsons, and I didn’t see herr as often and it was hard seeing her there, unable to move, eat, or talk. A year later she died and it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through she was my best friend and now I will never see her again and I hurt all the time everywhere and it never stops it’s been about a year now and …

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0

  October 26th, 2009 by pk23

I cut myself all the time every where, I hate my body it’s so ugly and fat and disgusting, I want it all to stop! my family doesn’t understand and I feel lost and alone all the time I try to kill myself everyday and it never works, I don’t want to be here and I want all of this to end but I don’t have enough courage to do it myself. I abuse and torment my body and I can’t seem to stop. My body is filled with scars and I can’t hide them even if I do it doesn’t mean they’re not there …

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3

Don’t know what to do

  October 25th, 2009 by hauntingyou

I don’t know what to do anymore. Here’s why:

1: I’m a SI (self-injurer) and I just cannot seem to stop. No matter how hard I try. I have scars everywhere. I feel like a freak. I try to hide the scars, but everyone in school keeps asking me if I’m EMO. I hate it!!!

2: I have Anorexia Nevosa. I hate it!!! I just want to be beautiful. But when I look in the mirror……..all I see is this fat, ugly, horrible person. It never goes away!!! I never seem to sleep, even though I know I do. My aunt makes me eat. She’s been so …

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1

Wish I was gone.

  October 25th, 2009 by RJCM15

This all really started 9/30/09 when my boyfriend commited suicide wich makes 2people in my live dead my brother and boyfriend. I have always been depressed since my brother but after my boyfriend was gone that hit the button and i took amidate action i started cutting my self and i recently last wednesday tried to overdose on sleeping pills but i ended up in the hospitall. i have a new boyfriend and he has depression problems as i do and we both are trying to stay strong but it is hard though being at home where no one likes me and then even being outside …

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