I DON’T KNOW WHY I EVEN TRY ASKING FOR HELP ANYMORE, NO ONE EVER ANSWERS WHEN I CALL, CLEARLY NO ONE CARES.
why should i?
I DON’T KNOW WHY I EVEN TRY ASKING FOR HELP ANYMORE, NO ONE EVER ANSWERS WHEN I CALL, CLEARLY NO ONE CARES.
why should i?
Empty. Cold. Hollow. Alone.
I walk past cracked walls
That bleed crystal tears.
Vines that twist with thorns,
Shaped by the icy winds promise,
A false comfort of numbness.
Dust and dead leaves dance in silence
Ahead as my blood pumps a rhythm hard and fast.
Silent screams echoing, reverberating past,
And a cold sweat pours down my neck.
Rusty metal arms, silhouettes, seek – surround me
I run with fervor from shadowy cages of memories past.
Footfalls echo the frenzied beating of my heart.
Walls release cruel laughter and old screams.
I crash.
The Earth shatters into glass,
Walls crumble into sand,
Spiraling into a vortex of shard and […]
I survived another day,
Empty and alone.
No one noticing anything different
As I walk through my motions.
I laugh and cry
When I’m suppose to;
Wearing my multitude of masks
Day by day smiling that smile again.
A pretty little hollow doll that seems real.
All the world is a stage and
The curtain rises with the spotlight hitting me.
I know just the right words to say
In order to survive another day on this stage.
The words required to stay sane and save face,
In a world I don’t feel like I belong.
Always playing my part well without fail.
However, when the curtain closes for […]
Feel free to IM me on aim. SynysterWays00
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Welp, I’m really pissed off -.-
Today I was suppose to hang out with my ex and his best friend (his friend and I kinda got involved after my ex broke up with me about a year and a half ago.)
This ex? Was my first. The reason why I’m pissed off? Multiple reasons.
First; as I said I was suppose to hang with my ex and his friend we’ll name them Matt (the ex) and Kyle (the friend). Matt has promised since the summer that we broke up that we could still be friends and hang out. Since the year and a half, I’ve only seen him, […]
I wish everyone would leave me alone, I need privacy. I don’t need my friends and family bugging me every 5 seconds because they think it will help. I don’t need that
Twenty twenty twenty four hours ago!
I wanna be sedated.
I’ve started working out, stopped smoking and drinking. Ive tried to stop being so nitpicky with my friends and girlfriend, and it hasnt helped my depression or anger at all. I feel like exploding half the time. Â I know that everyone has to do the same things in life. But what if im not ok with that. Â Im so tired of no one being able to even try to understand how i see life. Im just expected to live like everyone else when I AM NOT like everyone else. Â It really makes the world a dark and lonely place when you know your not alone […]
So my family went on vacation this weekend and i decided to stay behind.. My options were to go for a suicide attempt or try to make the best out of being away from my family for a change and make some fun out of it..
So i decided to make the best out of it and invite some old buddies that i knew for most of my life to stay over and have some good times n get fucked up.. Even tho i was filled with anxiety the whole time (even while having benzodiazepines in my system the whole time) i managed to enjoy myself. […]
I hate this world
I hate school(who doesnt)
I hate when people touch me(especially hugs, it makes me sick. i get somewhat close to vomiting when it happens. idk , thats just the way i am. i know, its stupid. im stupid)
I hate living
I hate this stupid worthless post
I hate every stupid worthless thing that i do
i hate my stupid worthless life
i hate everyone. everyone in the whole world(with the exception of two people)
I hate MYSELF.
-End
i didnt want to come here but it seems its the last place tht i can really just vent….i fukked up. boy, did i fukk up …. it wasnt supposed to be this way im only 17 lifes a ***** then u die i guess we’re not suppose to choose when but we can if we wanted
I will not make it to my next birthday. I have thought about it a lot, and because of my depression I will always make people miserable. I want too much in life that I know will never be real. I will always be sullen and alone. so freaking alone. the only people I could talk to, my sister and 2 other friends, just left for the week to a different city for a mission trip. I can’t stop fucking crying. or burning, but I love burning. I am truly alone. I can’t socialize because I don’t know Spanish (I’m in a foreign country), I […]
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She said she’d never leave. She said she’d love me forever. She said she’s be here no matter what. Well where are you? It’s been 6 months and I’ve been in hell all this time. I hurt day by day just at the thought of you. We we’re suppose to get married remember? Have a beautiful daughter remember? Or was it all just a pigment of my imagination? No it can’t be. Because I still have you messages in my inbox. Love is dead to me. I can’t even tell my own mother I love her because I choke at the start of the word […]
I’m so goddamn lonely, all the time, even when I see people and they try to initiate a conversation, I have nothing to say. I just turned 24, and it’s only been a reminder of how lonely my life is. I don’t feel like I can genuinely change, every time I’ve tried, I’ve bounced back into this state. I walked out of my job because I just couldn’t do anything.
Last year I tried ODing on Benadryl and Acetaminophen with a handle of wine, but I was rescued. I don’t think I’m strong enough to make an attempt again, but unless I […]
Feel free to IM me on aim at SynysterWays00. Those are zero’s, not o’s.
I know, so many others have said it but if you’re like me you don’t believe any of them. I really just want to die. I shouldn’t though. At least that is what people say. None of them understand though, they have their friends and family all close to them. I don’t. I’m alone in this cold world, teachers say I’m brilliant, I feel like an idiot. Girls think I’m nice and funny, I think I’m a sarcastic asshole. Is it just me? I mean I should be normal, but I’m not, I like things people don’t like, I’ll hate myself if someone says something […]
I’m 17 and i’m failing lots of my classes in high school. I’m studying for hours ever night and one of my teachers claims I don’t take his class serious. Its grade 11 university math.
For a while I cut my arms and at one point the both had a combined amount of 18 cuts in them. I did this in hopes of someone noticing and talking to me because I have trouble speaking about things that are affecting me. But no one noticed my arms even though I only wear t-shirts.
Also no one loves me or cares about me. Every time I become interested in […]
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