I know, so many others have said it but if you’re like me you don’t believe any of them. I really just want to die. I shouldn’t though. At least that is what people say. None of them understand though, they have their friends and family all close to them. I don’t. I’m alone in this cold world, teachers say I’m brilliant, I feel like an idiot. Girls think I’m nice and funny, I think I’m a sarcastic asshole. Is it just me? I mean I should be normal, but I’m not, I like things people don’t like, I’ll hate myself if someone says something […]
I’m 17 and i’m failing lots of my classes in high school. I’m studying for hours ever night and one of my teachers claims I don’t take his class serious. Its grade 11 university math.
For a while I cut my arms and at one point the both had a combined amount of 18 cuts in them. I did this in hopes of someone noticing and talking to me because I have trouble speaking about things that are affecting me. But no one noticed my arms even though I only wear t-shirts.
Also no one loves me or cares about me. Every time I become interested in […]
I have this headache. It feels like someone used a huge hammer and hit me as hard as they can against my head. I dont feel to well. I feel like i need to vomit or something. Tears nothing but tears. Not from the pain. Not from the sufferage. Its.. i just dont know. Oh why does this headache not killing me to death. I just have the urge to stab myself repeatly with a knife. I just want to bleed out that red. I dont know when but i really want to die. I just… dont know what to do anymore. Rip out my […]
I don’t even know what i want any more…do i want to live? kill myself? cut myself? puke? die? maim? run away? get locked up? cry?
Everyone always says “oh it’ll get better” well it’s not. It’s still the same.  Every day I get up and go to a job that I used to love, and have to force myself through the day. then I go home alone, where no one calls me, no one cares, and no one would notice if i didn’t show up. no one would notice at wrok either if not for the fact that someone would have to cover for me, […]
What happen to me. Where have i gone to. Should i scream it out that i need help. Or shake and coward in fear till i kill myself. Must i hide my problems from everyone. Everyone who doesnt understand. Shaking in fear. Do i need to take a break? Do i need to go somewhere fat away from everyone here. Find somewhere to breath and be happy from my fucking life. What i think of myself: I’m a Screw up. Worthless. Loser Useless. Pathetic. Scum. Why i think these things. Why am i like this. I cant live like this i just can’t. Lets just […]
I have started thinking about drowning as a beta option.
Drowning is extremely painfull, but if you use sleeping pills, it maybe possible to lose conciseness before the struggling starts. Im having some trouble with using Paypal, but going to try to activate my Visa Electron card, so i can buy this set!
http://www.peacefulpillhandbook.com/page/Buy+Helium+Fittings
Anyway, here is an interesting website on drowning.
http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=91;t=000720;p=1
Oh boy! Now in the process of already writing my suicide letter. And people, if you wish, cry for me! But if your going to cry for me, then please pray for me also! My “loving” adoptive parents smothered my feelings and emotions so long ago, that […]
I have so many things on my mind all day and when I get to write them down I have no idea what I was supposed to say…
It seems like everything is fitting back together. I’m friends with people I never thought I’d want to talk to again. I haven’t cut myself in so long. And I don’t want to go to counselling anymore. I don’t know whether I’m just too busy to think about anything right now or whether I’m lying to myself.
I have so many things annoying me at the moment…
-I’m trying to get fit and lose weight… and it just doesn’t seem […]
take me away into the night
and leave me there.
i cant stay here and fight this battle.
theres no one by my side.
i climbed the tree to see the world.
but when i reached the top,
they shot me down.
you shot me down. every one of you.
and now I’m lying in the soil beneath alone, and cold.
if only they all knew, how much they hurt me
would they do it anyway?
if only they knew, how i cry at night,
would they say it anyway?
if only they knew how i want to leave this place.
would they stop me.
People stabbing me in the back
Waiting to see me sit on a tack
Feel like putting my head in a sack
I don’t want to hurt you nor make you cry
I don’t want anything, I only want to die
It’s happened so many times before
I’ve slammed shut every open door
Each time I find myself flat on the floor
I don’t want to hurt you nor make you cry
I don’t want anything, I only want to die
I’ve tried to change my ways
But it’s just the way I’m made
And no amount of praise
And no amount of aid
Has helped me in the past
No matter how hard I try
Why must a life […]
I’m 18 years old and have been saying I’m going to kill myself since the 6th grade. Obviously back then it wasn’t that serious, but in the last two years or so I’ve had such constant, obtrusive thoughts about hurting myself and killing myself that I can’t even live my life. I can’t stay at work without crying, I can’t be around people without feeling guilty about not being happy, I push away all the people I get close to. I’ve been in counseling for four years and I’ve been pressured to take anti-depressants for a while. I basically lost my mom to prescription drugs […]
When will these sufferings end? Religion or God should not be brought to this table. I have been in fear all my life and desperately seeking for answers to solve this matter. I have nothing but pure anger and failure. 47 years of cowardice and deceit. I have fooled myself and people pretending to be someone who I am not! I had enough, I am tired, I am weak and just want to exit. I need to muster courage to finally end my life. Please let me go.
That means “I wish I was dead”. I do wish I was dead. That’s one wish that I know will be granted sooner or later. So why am I so impatient? It’s 4:00 a.m. and I’m still on this website, feeding my obsession. I can’t believe what a hypocrite I am, fascinated with the idea of ending my life, and masking it with a religion that promises a life that will never end! Who am I fooling?
Im really lonely. Â I wish I had a girlfriend. Â That way someone would sit here and listen to me and maybe hold my hand. Â thats all I want. Â But theres nothing there, just an empty space. Â Theres always an empty space…
Can’t stop crying. Cant stop shaking. My head hurts. I can’t breath. I wanna die. I’m so alone. I just wanna be held.
I’m getting more and more depressed every day. I still don’t know what’s going on.
I think I’m scared. Scared of the future and what’s going to happen. I’ve explained this yesterday evening.. but I need to say it again, how I can’t fully understand what to do because I can’t do anything about my life until a couple months from now… I want school to happen, I want to stop being lonely and find someone again.
I was reading up on Emily Haines today, I saw a video she posted on Metric’s youtube about her 2008 trip to Buenos Aires, Argentina. She said that she had […]
I’m not sure what my old user name was, and I don’t really care anymore. Anyway, a little background just to see who cares. Granted no one will read this, let alone care.
I never knew there were sites like this , but I m glad that i found out and read few entries too. I m glad to see that I am not the only freak who thinks they hate life . I was very happy and lucky kid . but in past few years I suddenly stopped talking , lost all my friends, and went away from my family as I cant express to them and have a heart to heart conversation . I just want people to notice me and love me ..I hate that no one will care after I m dead , and […]
I posted this originally on Facebook one night, when I was randomly breaking down. Thought I’d share this with you all.
______________
Music is a powerful thing.
How something as simple as a few notes on a guitar can link together, form a song, and be so damn appealing to the human ear, in some cases, is beyond science. What’s even more insane is how some people are so damn good at creating this thing called “music”, they get hailed as gods. Saints. Whatever.
If a band can be a religion, mine is Metric.
I shouldn’t necessarily have to explain, but Metric is a band I discovered riding the bus […]
I have read a lot of posts on this site, most of them, without bwing offensive, seem to be worse off than me. It makes me feel petty and pathetic. But thats what depression does to you.
My family love me, I love them too. But both my grandmothers are deceased and my closest auntie works away. I feel lost without them. They are the only people I could talk to, about my feelings and problems.
I’ve never been in stable friendships, i figured I’m not good enough for anyone. I spent a whole school year on my own, sitting in toilets and round the […]
Yeah, in the moment that is all I want. I found this site through this frase. It’s funny that it’s so difficult to encounter anything related with suicide on the internet. I mean, I search a lot, for a long time now, and the suicide as a subject is really a taboo. Maybe, no, I know this, my opinion is different of everyone else. For me, suicide is a right to a human being, I mean, your life is miserable and you don’t want that, so what’s that you wanna kill yourself. Is your right because is your life. Disregarding all religions crap, yeah you’ll […]