Can’t stop crying. Cant stop shaking. My head hurts. I can’t breath. I wanna die. I’m so alone. I just wanna be held.
I’m getting more and more depressed every day. I still don’t know what’s going on.
I think I’m scared. Scared of the future and what’s going to happen. I’ve explained this yesterday evening.. but I need to say it again, how I can’t fully understand what to do because I can’t do anything about my life until a couple months from now… I want school to happen, I want to stop being lonely and find someone again.
I was reading up on Emily Haines today, I saw a video she posted on Metric’s youtube about her 2008 trip to Buenos Aires, Argentina. She said that she had […]
I’m not sure what my old user name was, and I don’t really care anymore. Anyway, a little background just to see who cares. Granted no one will read this, let alone care.
I never knew there were sites like this , but I m glad that i found out and read few entries too. I m glad to see that I am not the only freak who thinks they hate life . I was very happy and lucky kid . but in past few years I suddenly stopped talking , lost all my friends, and went away from my family as I cant express to them and have a heart to heart conversation . I just want people to notice me and love me ..I hate that no one will care after I m dead , and […]
I posted this originally on Facebook one night, when I was randomly breaking down. Thought I’d share this with you all.
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Music is a powerful thing.
How something as simple as a few notes on a guitar can link together, form a song, and be so damn appealing to the human ear, in some cases, is beyond science. What’s even more insane is how some people are so damn good at creating this thing called “music”, they get hailed as gods. Saints. Whatever.
If a band can be a religion, mine is Metric.
I shouldn’t necessarily have to explain, but Metric is a band I discovered riding the bus […]
I have read a lot of posts on this site, most of them, without bwing offensive, seem to be worse off than me. It makes me feel petty and pathetic. But thats what depression does to you.
My family love me, I love them too. But both my grandmothers are deceased and my closest auntie works away. I feel lost without them. They are the only people I could talk to, about my feelings and problems.
I’ve never been in stable friendships, i figured I’m not good enough for anyone. I spent a whole school year on my own, sitting in toilets and round the […]
Yeah, in the moment that is all I want. I found this site through this frase. It’s funny that it’s so difficult to encounter anything related with suicide on the internet. I mean, I search a lot, for a long time now, and the suicide as a subject is really a taboo. Maybe, no, I know this, my opinion is different of everyone else. For me, suicide is a right to a human being, I mean, your life is miserable and you don’t want that, so what’s that you wanna kill yourself. Is your right because is your life. Disregarding all religions crap, yeah you’ll […]
I slide the cold steel blade across my wrist with every intention of not making the same mistakes again. The feeling is not at all what I had expected; not much of a pain but more of a stinging. The warm liquid seeping down my arm, across my hand, and pooling over my chest; it feels so real, I know I won’t waste any more time on this level of my existence. I try to take the blade into my other hand, struggling to cut my other wrist without success. I put the blade to my mouth and take it with my teeth. The taste […]
Loneliness has enveloped me, trapped me in a cage of living hell, and wrapped my soul with misery.
I can’t really feel the tears running down my face anymore, I look in the mirror and wonder how long it was while I was crying.
I like the feel of the burning flames on my skin, slowly taking away my tears from this mental disease.
The beautiful glowing light shining next to my arm, making bright red stains for however long.
My body and mind is rotting away in this dark and endless emptiness.
I think I’m starting to enjoy being in this much agony and sorrow, even though I’m not […]
I can not post my true feelings here.
I don’t like being alone/single. That was the one thing I had to keep me from doing this stuff to myself. I never had friends. Not ones here.. I had a boyfriend. That is what kept me from feeling so alone. Now I don’t have anything. I’m alone. It’s pathetic and you all are going to post and say I shouldn’t let anyone have that much control. But this is who I am. I thrive on being with people. You may also post that I should go out and name a few types of places. […]
I remember sitting in Health class two years ago – year eight – and getting taught about depression and suicide. My thoughts at that time were something along the lines of “take it all in, you never know when you might need to save a friend,” and I kept the sheets that we were given. I found them the other day. I never ever thought that I would have to look for the signs in myself.
I just think it’s weird how the future is actually so unpredictable. I never thought this would happen to me. I honestly thought I would always be that girl that […]
If these hands
are able to write words
on this simply piece of paper,
it should be able
to end my life easily.
If a murder can kill
with the hands that was created
then maybe my useless hands
can pop pills in my mouth
having my legs drag me
down the hall and into the bathroom.
If my hands can turn things
it should be able
to turn the water on.
I want to be able
to hold a bottle of pain killers
without shaking it out my hand.
Climbing in with no ounce of regret
everything thrown off my shoulders
as my bottle […]
i sit here contemplating about you. I wonder how perfect you are and my young obsession with you, almost 2 years back. I think about any chinks in your perfect complexion, but yet I still don’t see any. I watch your pictures I saved on my iPhone, from your Facebook. And can’t view yours after you blocked me and privates your profile after I mistakenly deleted you out of my misery filled stupor. All of this, stupidity, because you rejected me. I didn’t even know what I would say or how I would do it, especially when I can’t say it to your face. I’m […]
Hiding behind your fake smile
Because apparently, there’s more to gain
I’m in my room right now, about to try and sleep. I can’t. I don’t know. I’m confused about so many things at the same time right now.
Summer should be a reason to celebrate for most kids, I don’t know what I’m doing here right now. Summer kind of sucks for me because I can’t do much; most of my friends are another town away, and meeting up with them randomly is virtually impossible because I need my parents to give me a ride. The days seem to get longer and longer like it’s winter or some bullshit. I have this crazy feeling in me […]
Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
and drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren’t lawful
Nooses give
Gas smell awful;
You might as well live.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
found that on youtube thought i would share it.
I hate  my family, SO BAD. I want to leave this house, even though im young im 13 yrs old my birthday is right around the corner. Its on July16! If you guys havent heard, im thinking about killing myself  just so I can have people to remember since I was born in July16 then I should die on  July16. Stupid as it sounds but I want it to happend that day! Yesturday my mom was invited to a Friends party, so my mom took me and my two brothers with her. Long story short, my brother Emilio is so ignorant and he has hatred […]
When I see a knife, I think of stabbing it into my chest, piercing my heart. Or cutting my neck with it. When I see a tall building, I envision myself jumping from the top of it. When I see a bottle of pills, I want to swallow them all at once. I would either overdose, or choke on them. Whenever I come across a body of water, I visualize myself drowning in it, my body sinking to the bottom. Perhaps never to be seen again. When I see a gun, I imagine putting it to my head, slowly pulling the trigger. When I […]
Since I was in high school I was in depressive states. I use to cut myself just to watch myself bleed. When I felt depressed I liked to feel the pain. I stopped once I began to see RD.
He was my HS teacher. Three months before my graduation we got involved sexually in school. It continued for now three years.
I would flirt with him before anything occurred by asking him if he missed me. He would say always you know that. Until one day he asked me what’s going to happen when you graduate? Are we going to grow apart? I was surprised and I […]