My girlfriend’s parents are f**ked in the head and i’m tired of it.  Her moms a manipulative controlling b***h, her dad goes bar hopping trying to get some random a** one night stand, plays BS games with everybody, and doesn’t tell anybody about what is going on. Ex.: there was supposed to be a cookout before my GF left to go to mexico with her mom and a few other family members…. So for the past 2-3 weeks i  wanted to kick her dads teeth in and rip her mom a new one(yes i know this wont solve anything but i will feel so much better if i […]
I’m worthless
I’m back.
Not like anyone cared.
You should. I’m ugly and fat, I’m selfish, I’m just a horrible person. I’m not sure why some people don’t agree with me. The only reason I’m still alive is because of my brother and sister. I shouldn’t be alive. I don’t deserve life. All I deserve is a long painful death.
Make sure you have read My Story.. Before reading this.
Back when she still talked to me, but after we stopped being “brother & sister”, I went into a desperate attempt to get her to be my sister again. She told me no. So I asked her why and she said that it was too stressful that I hurt her too much. So the reason that she did everything else was becuz of what I did to her. I harassed her with questions, stressed her out, and worst of all, I hurt her. I never meant to do any of that to her. I deserve everything […]
I’m not suicidal. I don’t want to die. Not yet. Not until I’ve done something good in this world and made my own mark. Not until I’ve had children and raised them to be far happier than I am. Only when I’m old do I want to die.
But I want to disappear. I want to cease to exist. Vanish. Or rather, I want for all my problems to vanish. I want to hide away in this room the rest of the day and forever onwards, shirking responsibility. I don’t want to help with my sister-in-law’s wedding today. I don’t want to see all the wedding […]
I was hoping you could send me some private email to JonesHenry@hotmail.fi
I have repetitively tried to kill myself in the past 3 or 4 years. My Doctor and counselor hospitalized me the day my dad committed suicide because they said i had an 80% chance of doing it myself. I was VERY close with my father.. i was only 12 when he did it. My mother was cheating on him and after 3 months of knowing of who it was and several more details about the affair, he hung himself. That morning my family lied to me and said they found him laying in the garage then told me i was heading to the mental hospital. […]
I’ve never tried to kill myself. I’ve contemplated it for years though.. for 5 long years and, I think I’m ready. There’s nothing really left for me here.
The one person I thought I could trust informed me a while back that he’s been using me for sex and finally found a girlfriend. Lovely. What upsets me most about it is that I told him a few years back that I was sexually abused from the time I was 5 til about 10. He acted like he cared, even told me that he loved me. Until him, I thought that no one could ever love me […]
For a while now I’ve been considering deleting this account.For me I don’t see what this site has done. If anything my depression is worse. Maybe it’s just me. I’m not sure.
In all of my posts I feel…uncollected? Like it’s all bundled together and just doesn’t make sense anymore. But when I write it, it makes perfect sense to me. Is it because my thoughts are that way? Am I crazy? I don’t know. Nothing seems to make much sense anymore.
Everything in my eyes seems to be a blur. And everyone’s just walking by, enjoying things. Things I don’t see, don’t have, don’t feel. I’ve […]
Is being kind such a bad thing?
Kind and caring; two traits I’ve been deemed with ever since birthed into this strange, cruel world.
It seems like a blessing, whatever that means, but feels ultimately.. like a curse.
When one lives for others they find no room for themselves; they’re squeezed out of their own personal schedules and discarded as if meaningless.
When someone feels this way.. how can they ever turn back?
I’m already gone from my mind; am I truly missing?
Or am I still somewhere in the vastness of my own memories..?
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Waiting […]
I lie a lot, more than I should, and I feel terrible about it. I hurt my only friend, and I just don’t know what to do to control my big mouth. Teenagers…adults have every right to sigh about us.
I try so hard. But every time I attempt to get up, I fall back down. I feel like the devil keeps pushing me down, then trampling all over me. you know how hard it is to try getting up when someone is standing on top of you?
all I can think about is how desolate and pessimistic I am. all I can talk about is how I want to die. I can’t breathe anymore. I get panic attacks. several times a day. I need my knife. I need to cut.
As much as it’s getting better, I still hate my life..
I mean I try so hard to think of reasons to live, but it’s always "hope for a good life ahead of me," or "hope that things will get better." Now I have reasons to live. I have no idea what’ll happen when school comes around though.
I have a friend I talk to on the internet and she is the greatest person in the world. We’ll probably never meet but I’m so lucky to have her as a friend.
I’m slowly gaining control of my eating because I know that even though it fills my emptiness […]
I just want a reason, a reason to wake up a reason to bother in life. I cant remember a time in the last ten years that i was truly happy. i dont wanna go through life just surviving cos at the moment that s all it seems.  i constantly feel that i am in a downward spiral that has no end and i am sick of waiting for things to get better cos they never seem to however much i try. so whats the point. i know what i wanna do but can i really do it without thinking about how it will affect the people […]
It’s really bad to say, but I’m starting to wish someone would murder me or something, because suicide seems so hard, but I really don’t want to be alive…
For example, someone could stab me, but my survival instinct would stop me doing the same to myself. Â Someone could shoot me, but I don’t know how I’d get hold of a gun in this country.
I don’t really know what to do, I just want to die. Â A failed suicide attempt would be awful – being left a vegetable with no way out is my worst nightmare.
Don’t really know what to say except that life seems futile and impossible to cope with. No energy, no hope, no joy. I just want to sleep forever & never feel pain again.
I feel like a fail at everything. Like I’m never good enough. I try and try, but it just never works out for me. I just can’t take living anymore. I have no future. So it’s not worth living anymore. I feel so alone. I’ve cried so much I have no more tears left in me to cry.
I’ve been trying so hard to forget him. But it’s not working. In everything I do, he’s always there in the back of my mind. I know now how I’m going to die- a broken heart. It doesn’t just hurt emotionally any more, it’s physical now. I can feel every beat hurting and the pain intensifying.
I don’t know what to do, because getting over him isn’t going to happen. But I hope he feels like a terrible person for what he’s done…