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  July 1st, 2008 by Anonymous

readthisfirst@psychcentral.com

To Whom it may concern:

Your website saved my life last night. I am a 21 year old
college student, come from a great loving, middle-class family
and have everything I could ever want. Yet there’s a part of
me that has no direction…I’m lost trying to find myself. My
grades have suffered severely and after a long talk with my
Dad about what I want to do I almost lost control. I hung up
the phone and I went blind, (not literally), but inbetween the
time I talked to my Dad and the time that I found your
website, I can not remember a thing that happened. I …

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none

  June 30th, 2008 by lya

i used to have a beautiful life with my mom. until she remarried with a jerk who always say stupid things to me. since the day she remarried happy overturned my life into hell. i struggled everyday to go on.

as i grow up, it got worst. at some point i failed in my life. i keep on losing my job and i quit my school halfway through. staying put in a job is hard cause of my emotional problems. i quit school since i fell in love with my current fiance who is another jerk. he was all sweet at first till the day …

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Stuck and Stunted

  June 30th, 2008 by IanH

I feel fairly sane, but maybe I am not able to judge that for myself. I have a good job, I have an advanced degree, I am not unattractive, and I have amazing parents and siblings. That last factor, is what makes me feel stuck. I feel like it is time for my life to be over, but my love for my family keeps me from taking my life. I am a cliche. I am in my thirties and gay and in the closet. The closet gets harder to stay in as you get older and your friends lives are moving on to wives and …

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Hanging On By A Thread…

  June 26th, 2008 by Kuya Dan

Just as the title of my post indicates … I am hanging by a thread. I’m well aware I suffer from bipolar disorder, which ranges from mild to moderate to (at times) severe. How I’ve lasted this long amazes me. I know I need help, and that help is out there … but seemingly only for those that can afford to pay for it. I’m not among those fortunate enough to be able to do so. Every single day is a struggle to survive, and taking it one day at a time is all I can do. I went to the Los Angeles County Department …

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  June 26th, 2008 by ShunBlue

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My life…ruined. Poor, pity me as my Dad says.

  June 26th, 2008 by ShunBlue

About 2 years ago, my husband and I had begun having strainful marital difficulties that are too numerous to mention. We really had a wonderfu life beforehand. I had worked my whole life, going to college (not graduating, but choosing work instead), dated, and found my soul-mate at 23. What are soulmates anyway? This is such a long, long story so I’ll try to give it a Reader’s Condensed version. I held a job as a CSR/Analyst with a Petrochemical Marketing Firm and my husband worked his way up in his Oil Company (large one) to a Geologist Tech. …

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The page was…”Helpful” but the hospitall wasnt.

  June 24th, 2008 by Massive139

I have tried to kill myself before. i was a stupid, screwed up kid. not for suicide. but for the failed attempts. if i had ended it all then and there, no one wold have gotten attached and i wouldnt have caused so much pain to those people whom love me in my life. there is another entry here that says that the person says that they are lucky to be a zero, that person indeed needs to consider, that i was nothing. and i tried to be nothing. being nothing is IMPOSSIBLE once it goes away. screwing up is not impossible but not EXISTING …

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i tried it didn’t work

  June 23rd, 2008 by jamalnasr

I was drinking with some friends major alcohol comsumption… it takes alot to overdose but i did.. My mother found me lying on the floor of my apartment bearly breathing . Went to the hospital when they checked me out they wanted to operate on me to change out my liver its almost done with . I told them no when they told of the results. I was luck to be alive. But I am in so much pain now I want to find the nearest gun blow my brains out. Unfortunity I can not leave to go any where now I’m stuck …

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What’s the point?

  June 23rd, 2008 by dbrog2

I fucked up my life. I am a big fat ZERO, I am nothing. I will jump soon. No one will know I am gone, and that makes me feel so good. I am so comfortable with this feeling. Zero begets nothing. A beautiful formula.
I love being zero. My comfort only comes when I tell myself that I am nothing. I smile because I know I am nothing, I have accepted it.
I wonder how many people that have blogged this site are no longer with us? Will it do the rest of us any good?

No.

see you all in hell.

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Looking for Home

  June 22nd, 2008 by dnsrnsn

When Ashley left me, I hit the lowest point in my life. I didn’t want to live anymore. I waited until my roommates were in bed and left my apartment. I walked in the dark with my head down and my heart beating at triple its normal rate, not caring where I went or if I came back. I didn’t know if I was depressed, angry, or just sad, but I hated everything. Mostly I hated myself.

It was cold outside, and I didn’t bring a coat, but that didn’t seem to matter. I just walked. The moon was …

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my love of life is gone

  June 22nd, 2008 by helpdave46

im a 46 yr male, have worked hard for my family for 26 yrs of marrage.At 42 I had a heart attack.ok i said ill take better care of myself.Well at 45 i had another and it scared the crap out of me.It caused me to go into depression.Now 2 months ago my wife left me a note that i found after comming home from work.It says shes tired of my attitude and wants a divorce.We have 3 children,one still is in our home,hes 18 and has some mental disabilities.Ilove my wife with all heart and soul.I have not seen her for a little …

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lonesome lingering

  June 21st, 2008 by jamalnasr

Hate, disspare, hidden traps, eyes maced, tears, mournings, nights, scars, all in witch lies , how do i share. All i live for …happiness? What am I to think? It comes with a price. You say…You would die for me..Look at our soldiers? Look at our friends..It comes with a price. I don’t know how much longer I will be here? But at least maybe theres someone out there that I can relate too, maybe 1 life, one day.. Before I do something supid…I’m tryin to talk about this…Whats crazy is I think life is ok sometimes? But when it …

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love of a lifetime loss

  June 20th, 2008 by MJ

For the past 18 years I have been depressed off and on. I am now 31. Never been married and I don’t have any children. I am actually pretty successful compared to my friends and relatives. 8 years ago, the love of my life passed away suddenly from a motorcycle accident. The pain– the pain– the pain. I hurt everyday. I don’t think that I can have a “normal” romantic relationship with anyone because I still love him. He was the love of my life. I never told him how I really felt. Nor have …

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Feeling Alone, Like A Failure And Hopeless

  June 19th, 2008 by Brandy

I’ve had feelings of suicide on and off for the past two years. I feel disconnected from my family and many so called “friends.” Right now I’m facing financial disaster. My rent isn’t paid, clients aren’t paying me on time and I feel like there is no love in my life. Last year my mother passed away suddenly. Then my brother tried to commit suicide. My Aunt died from a degenerative disease. This all happened within a few months. It’s been overwhelming. I’m an extremely talented writer and have won awards and praise for my work; …

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Why Hell Walks

  June 18th, 2008 by Under Pressure

I don’t understand the World much anymore. It’s fucked up, and everything bites. It’s like depression clings to everything. Why? I was hoping you could tell me. Even the people I care about look at me differently now. I can’t keep going… I Just want the pain to stop. No matter what I do, I always hurt people who care about me. What if I could stop that too? It would be so easy… So quick… And then all over… And yet I’m forced to keep going for some unknown reason. Why can’t I just stop? Is Satan punishing me or something? Everything is gone. …

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my hurt

  June 17th, 2008 by ma ree

i feel so empty inside. I cant believe I think of suicide. It started a few years ago. I dont want to die, i want to rid mself of my big black hole that has become my heart. i feel my life is not my own, it is not filled with continuity. there is no cohesion. i want this life to be over. to get another chance at happiness. i know there is no do-over, but i want one. i want to love and be loved back. the person i should love, i no longer do. alot of the time i hate this person. they …

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READ THIS, IF YOU CARE….

  June 17th, 2008 by Emily F

I’ve tried to commit suicide on 3 occasions, the first to was when I was 6 YEARS OLD, I tried to stab myself with a knife- my pereants were hitting each other and I was knocked down while trying to sepperate them, so I ran to my room, with a knife in my hands, thinking about pain and death and hid in my closet, the knife inched nearer and nearer to my neck, but I could not do it. I didn’t know what suicide was, all I knew was that it would all “end”.

The second time was when I WAS NINE, I was constantly bullied …

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My letter

  June 17th, 2008 by sla5af

Dear all,
When any of you has read this, I will be far gone. Most likely in downtown KL or somewhere nearby. Watching my final sunrise.

I can’t cope with the pain and the loss anymore. I don’t know how to describe how I feel. I really suck at talking, making friends, and everything. I hate being me.

I’m just tired of this life. I’m tired of having my old lives being wrenched away from me. Over and over again. Different parts of me is like scattered all over the world. I left a part of me behind every place I used to be. I’m …

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My Gift

  June 16th, 2008 by rabidrabbit

I have lived a dishonorable life. I have done dishonorable acts, and deeply hurt two different women. I have lived my life like a steamroller, destroying everything I have ever touched. I must destroy myself, for I will only continue to destroy everything in sight.

My death is my gift to all mankind.

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Tired of living

  June 16th, 2008 by johnw

I’m 22, I live with my parents, which makes me feel not very free. My father was a verbal-violent alcoholic before, thou he never hit a fly, and he still drinks which makes the ghosts on the house to reappear. So I wanna get the hell out of here, but I don’t have enough money to go by myself (I live in South America). I can’t find a way to live, I’m feeling from a homosexual to a loser and my mind is continuing killing myself with bad thoughts about me and another people. Life is shit, women are whores, my friends are great, but …

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