it hurts… it hurts alot. i can feel it cut me up like a sharp deadly knife. Im losing everything. Even when i smile it hurts alot. i think im going to cry. no lie but i dont want anyone to see. I cant trust anyone anymore. I dont even know who to go to anymore. It hurts alot. Too painful even… I guess im ready to end it. Im ready to go far away from everyone. Who cares if they miss me or not? who cares if they love me. If they care they would had help but guess what… they didnt they didnt […]
i just realised who i am, why im maybe better off alone. im the guy you flirt with, dance with, have a night of fun with…but i’m not the guy you take home to mum. maybe if i realised this earlier i wouldn’t of got so attatched.
Okay, so a bit about me. I have mental disorders, i’ve had them since i was 8. Which means wherever i go, i hear voices in my head saying ‘ugly slut’ or ‘kill yourself’ and i think it’s the people surrounding me. I had to take meds when i was 8 up until now, 15 years old because i suffered severe depression. But now, i recently dated a girl called Megan and we’d been going out for 3 weeks, knowing her for such a short amount of time and the way she’d made me feel. I’m not a happy person at all but Megan made […]
Friendship is bullshit.
When my boyfriend lies beside me in bed at night, and tells me that he was thisclose to drinking drain cleaner that day, I believe him. I believe him because I know just how dark it is in his mind. I’m not like him. I find happiness in everyday things and comfort in friends. And all he has is me, he tells me every day. He has no education, no decent career prospects. He lives in his parents basement, smoking weed, and won’t save money to get out. He tells me he wants to save for an engagement ring, but I don’t want it–I just want […]
I know my life is empty
And I hate to face this world alone
So I’m searching for an angel
Someone who can make me whole
I can not save you, I can’t even save myself
So just save yourself
I know that we’ve been damaged
Our souls have suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you
Please don’t take pity on me
My life has been a nightmare
My soul is fractured to the bone
And if I must be lonely, I think I’d rather be alone
I think I have come undone
You can not save me
IÂ can’t even save myself
I […]
So this might be my last post or it might not, either way, I will be unable to get back on the site for a while, I can’t say why or for how long or even when I leave, but please look after each other. And please look after Hailey_baby for me, I love that girl so much, and I won’t be able to talk to her while I’m gone.
Please let go of me…
I feel useless in this big world. Like an ant next to a 50 story building. My body feels so hollow. My mind is to hectic to keep up with. I thought posting on this site would help but all it did was force me to face the truth. That I truly have no place to go. I don’t belong here or anywhere. I feel like I’m intruding in a family…Â
Sometimes I’ll write things to post on here and just delete them. People don’t care what I have to say, so why should I waste their time and space? Most of the time I think […]
I think we must all remember, that god judges each soul induvidually.
The bibble never makes any mention of what happens to suiciders. There are a number of reasons for this. First of all, people usually didnt live too long anyway back in those days. Second, sighting either unconditional acceptance or judgment removes god the authority to judge each case induvidually.
God understands and feels all our pain. As he is everything, the universe itself. However suicide can sometimes be a tragicly selfish experience, if it leaves mourning family members behind.
This is always induvidual. When i almost had a suicice attempt with electrcity, i was embraces by […]
shes in love the world seems blurry she makes mistakes but shes in no hurry to grown ups cause grown ups they dont understand her. its a big big world out there but shes not scared she thinks that nobody cares about her problems and she probably right. but its alright youll be fine if you just stay with me we get one step closer but we’re still so far away. she finds hope in the strangest places reads her books and knows all the faces of everyone that ever said shes alone. she knows every word to the saddest songs and she sings along […]
I started (being forced) to live with my dad again…I’m not the same person I really am when I live with him. Everyday I wonder in my head why I’m being forced to be put into misery. Everyday when misery takes me I go off into a sleep and dream about a perfect world, a perfect life, a perfect everything.Then I wake up only to be put through the yelling, the memories, the pain again and again. I wish I could fly like I do in my dreams and for once, in reality, feel free. Misery won’t you ever leave?
im just gunna do it i swear to god if there is such a thing. iv been living the worst life u can imagine iv been collecting cans on the streets to make ends meet i live in a strorage room of a studio that took pity on me i watched both my parents die slow of cancer ech one right after the other all my friends have forgetten about me i havent had a girlfriend in years and i feel like everyday is getting worse and worse. everyone looks at me like a piece of shit i wish they cud see that i tried […]
I can’t do this, I just can’t. I’m terrified to be myself because I will only be punished for it. But by pretending to be someone else I’m punishing myself. (I’m not just talking about pretending to be happy.) This is torture. I’m already a coward as it is, I don’t need this discouraging me. But I’ve gotta try, for me. They don’t need to know anything about me..
After all, even if all of my smiles and laughs are fake it’s better to pretend I’m happy, because it’s the closest I’ve ever get to ever being happy again.
About a few months ago my mom and her boyfriend, let’s call him Mike, went out. It’s usually my mom who gets drunk but that night it was only Mike. When he got home he was being loud and cussing. It was surprizing seeing as he is a Christian and quiet. I had only stayed up, waiting for them, to make sure they were okay and if they had brought food. They didn’t so I decided to go to bed. Since we had been cleaning all that day, my bed was full of crap. I jokingly said I was going to go sleep in their […]
-homecoming
anna hopefully u read this becuase u wer the one who told me i shuld go ahead and post lyrics to songs on here so hopefully u read it and can understand
“my heart is beating from me iam standing all alone please call me only if you are coming home waste another year flies by waste a night or two you taught me how to live in the streets of shame where you’ve lost your dreams in the rain thers no signs of hope the stems and seeds of the last of the dope theres a glow of light the st. jimmy […]
Adults say high school was the time of their life and they’d do anything to get it back. But I just don’t understand. Why would they want to be in high school that is filled with bulling, harrassment, sex, friends turning on each other, popularity, etc.
When I walk into the school doors I am constantly judged and bullied for my appearance…something I can control…but is truly me. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is a saying that truly doesn’t fit with life. Sticks and stones will not always break your bones but words will forever hurt you. One […]
The cutting started two years ago when I moved. I’ve always wanted to do it, but never had the courage to do so. I did it in class and couldn’t stop untill my arm was filled with cuts and blood. No one ever looked at me, no one ever cared. I kept it hidden untill they weren’t noticable unless you looked right at my arm.
Cutting is my escape plan… It was the closest thing I have to suicide without actually dying. My suicide plan is to someday slit my wrists but I’ve been very sensitive about people touching my wrists so I still have to get the courage to […]
Everyone seems to have two lives. Whether they are both good, both bad, or opposite. But it seems like we all have two sides…
I live the double life, outside smiling and laughing, having the best time of my life. Occasionally sad due to natural things such as death and such, things people extpect me to be sad about. But inside I feel as if I’m just trapped inside my head. It’s always different there…sometimes I’m falling…sometimes I’m drowing…and other times I just sit there, watching. I watch the people around me, happy. And I always it to stay that way forever. I’ve spent all my life […]
He really is.
I’m sitting here with blood balling on my leg(cut myself the first time in a couple weeks)
Thought I was stronger than this.