Buried under self-inflicted fate, I spend a thousand silent nights awake/Falling into dreams of pain, waiting for the light of day, to wash away this burning sin/This torment searching for a new victim / Looking forward to the day I die, I never found a way to live/Turn back now, before it’s too late/Seething hate and leaking faith, hold me up before I break/A fragile heart and darkened mind, this is your time, this is your time/Follow the crumbs that I leave, leading to a black heaven/You know the way this story ends/Lift me up and start again/Waiting for the voice that fades, straining to […]
It’s gotten way to far now to the point where I just wanna end it.
I hate growing up!! It’s the worst thing ever!!
The people around me change and I’m left alone.
I feel alone. But I’m not. I have people around me
that love me. I cut myself cause I have no idea how to deal
with it. My friends party almost every weekend and I go with them…
It’s just I feel out of it.. I’m not as pretty as them at all
I’m not like them at all and I like that it’s just annoying and sad.
It’s makes me wanna […]
Today is my birthday. Â I hate my birthday. Â I am nothing to celebrate. Â Why would anybody be happy a freak like me is still living, maybe they’ll say it in the joys that I am one year closer to dying.
I cannot sleep at all, too much thinking, I can’t even cry myself to sleep, why is it I hurt people in the end always, why!? Why do I even deserve to live here, do I even deserve to be happy. I don’t believe I deserve to be happy. Its hard resisting this urge to just cut, my whole body aches at the thought of waking up. Why can’t I just stay sleeping, there would he no pain, no emotion, no crying. I don’t want to go to school tommorro, all I wanna do there is go to a corner and cry my eyes out, […]
Outside I smile,
Inside I die,
I can’t forgive,
I can’t forget,
The things you did,
The things you said,
Remember I said I loved you?
Remember the moments we had?
 I see the love you both had,
I see the pain I caused you,
I’m sorry for the things I said,
I’m sorry for the pain I gave,
As I sit here,
Locked inside my head,
I watch you…
And slowly…
Fade away…
I’ve been clean for over a year, but I want my oxycodone again.
When I had told my counselor that I once did oxy, he said, “You know, oxycodone is known for killing your happy sensors.” I laughed and said, “Yeah, but it’s kind of nice when it feels like you never had any happy sensors in the first place.”
I know that I shouldn’t get myself started with that, but I need a new addiction. I dunno. I keep saying that I want cigarettes, but the problem is that if you smoke, everyone knows. Nobody had any idea that I was on oxy when I did […]
I had refused to get out of my bed this moring. I just lay there doing nothing. My tv was off and everything seem…empty or quiet. Everything… was just… dark. I just cover myself and waited to die. I was so alone. All i could think about was him.. even alot of stuff from my past. Why couldnt the silent presents take me away. Why was i left alone in the dark to think about everything. Wondering why i was so hurt. I dont feel to well and its really hot. My neck really hurt so bad its really killing me. I wish i had […]
I don’t know where to go when I feel this way I lost my razor so I can’t cut.how dare they freaking ruin my summer I hate life I hate myself this eefin sucks when I thought i could be alone someone has to ruin everything just go away I never needed you why did you ever appear LEAVE don’t you have something or someplace to do or go rather then ruin every single second of what may be my last days
My brother is 18.
He tried to commit suicide twice the past two months. I am 14 years old, and the only ones to know about it are his girlfriend and myself.
He doesn’t go out.
Not even to school.
He doesn’t talk to anyone but me and his girlfriend.
I am not supposed to know this,
but his girlfriend and I are very close friends end she had to tell about it to someone.
Our parents a divorced and I live with my father in a foreign country while my brother lives with my mother in our mother country.
He tried to cut his […]
Falling from the sky
Only to be hit with reality
My wings broken and torn
My soul shredded
But atleast I have my heart
The only thing you gave me
I should just let the darkness absorb my life
And Bring me to my misery</3
I’m so depressed.
I can’t think.
I just want to cut.
And cry
Why does it feel so good?
Why can’t I stop?
It’s like an addiction.
A forcive habit.
So many scares.
It’s like I’m shredding my leg.
His initials carved into my leg.
Hate carved into my leg.
I can’t feel my leg.
So much pain.
I’ve turned numb.
Is this the end?
Someone please take.
Far away
From here.
From….
This….
When I walk away
I want you to grab my arm,
Kiss me
And say “don’t go”
Behind my smile,
My fake smile,
Is my soul,
Slowly fading away,
Withering away Into..
Nothing
When I’m with you
I’m reborn inside
That’s
When my smile becomes real
I look up at you
See you smile
I smile
A real smile
A smile that only happens
When I’m with you
Think about you
See you
Hug you
Kiss you
Love you
I want to cut so, so, so bad.
I would kill, to cut,
Dammit.
I was sitting here angry.
I decided that I was going to do it.
I got my pills out and put one to my lips.
Then I got a text message and I guess I was hoping for a reason to stay.
It wasn’t a reason to stay at all.
I cried and cried and cried.
I got my blade.
I cut, I cut, I cut, and cut til i couldnt see my leg through the blood.
I’m better now.
I’m not crying.
I’m just thinking about the reason why I started cutting.
I’m worthless.
i cant decide of whether or not to kill myself if i kill myelf family members will be hurt friends will miss me, but im tired of living through this pain. i want to let go i want to be free but still i cannot find the courage to do it, wat do i do if suicide or running away is the only way away from this place which should i choose? i need someone to guide me and help along the way, but yet ther is no one, no one who knws my pain is there anyone out ther willing to listen?
My birthday is June 11.
And the only thing I want is to be left alone, with some music and a knife.
My one and only birthday wish.
so it seems to me that i need to make a drastic change in my personality because i really do care too much about other people and their well being. i force myself it be the best person to everyone i meet and genuinely listen and care what other people have to say, but it seems even tho i strive to do this when i wanna kill myself constantly and struggle through every waking moment the ones who know nothing of that pain dont even lift a finger for me or even try to be good to me, everyone i have ever met has eventually turned out to be another […]
 Life can be ended so easly. Easier then what we have to go through in life. I don’t understand why we have to go through so much in this life…just to die. What’s waiting for us in the end? Do we get a prize? No. I know the way I’m going…and I choose the way I do it. Goodbye, now.
last week i had blood test and yesterday i already got the result…the doctor said that i have a irregular heart beating…i want to die now…so for now on i always eat a high cholesterol food so that my heart will be getting worst…i want u to give me an advice if i make my heart worst or i just only cut my wrist????
I’m never going to lift myself out of this. I just created a playlist of triggering songs on my iPod. I’m so pathetic…I need someone to save me from myself.