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How much of a bother…

  May 11th, 2008 by Reeshi

does someone have to be before the world would be better off with out them?

I have five friends. I love them; I would do anything I could to make them happy. I feel this isn’t enough, however. My flawed personality and value isn’t worthy of these people – and they’re aware of it. They have to be. That’s how I feel, anyways.
After all, these are all great people. My friends are kind, funny, smart…

I am insecure, with my friends – I believe that because I am so flawed, I will eventually screw everything up, they will leave and never talk to me again. When they …

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So Very Tired

  May 10th, 2008 by TiredOne

I’m not planning anything right now, just longing for rest and peace from this weary old life. I’m worn out–mentally, physically, emotionally. My brain and endocrine system are broken down, and it’s hard as hell to get any help. And it’s lonely because so few people know what it’s like to be so deeply exhausted and weary.

On my best days, I can put on a smile and can almost care about what’s going on around me. On those days, when I get out around people, I look and act pretty normal. That makes it all the harder for people to understand how little life …

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When Will I Feel Good Again? Where Did I Go Wrong?

  May 10th, 2008 by DyingInside

Basically My Life Story, Reasons For Being Suicidal.

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Hard to describe

  May 9th, 2008 by daerp

I notice that another writer is only 13. I am 60 years old (more than 4 times your age) and have been suicidal in various levels of intensity for the past 3.5 years. Lately I came finally to the realization that I am a jumper. I want to climb a 50 storey building (near our home) which is still under construction. I want to break through late night security. I want to climb all the way to the top. I can feel the air, and I can see the security lights on throughout the as yet unopened building. The smell of wet concrete. The air …

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Will it ever end?

  May 9th, 2008 by monica

I’ve been considering suicide for some time now. Three years to be exact. And the fact that I’m thirteen years old is what scares me the most. I’ve been depressed for so long and im tired of being tired! (in other words, im always about to fall asleep even if i just slept for 20 hours) I took therapy for a while, but then my family couldn’t afford it. My family doesn’t know that I still want to end my life. Basically, I feel like a loser and no one gives a damn about me. Literally, I think the world …

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When you know you are ready

  May 8th, 2008 by gemblon

When you wake up each day, and realize, you don’t want to go through the day.
When you realize, all the wonderful concepts you learned as a child, are wrong.
When you realize the world really is an ugly place, full of people getting what they can.
When you realize you had no training for picking a good mate. So you picked the prettiest.
You paid for picking the prettiest, the rest of your life.
That another man will be raising your kids.
People worship money.

Our stars are jerks. Even Barbara Walters dates married men. And brags about it. She should be shunned. Instead, they all …

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I am trying to get help, it just takes so long

  May 7th, 2008 by plantfood

The light blue on white letters make it very hard to even read the page you land on. I have a very low tolerance for frustration right now.

I have been trying to get help. Really, I have been trying so hard, trying to stay alive. Intellectually, I know my family loves me, my friends care, life can be good. But I’ve been in emotional pain so long and every where I turn there’s another road block, something else beating me down. I can’t work right now, I’m on social assistance, and I’m trying to get my meds changed so I can get my life back. …

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WHY????

  May 6th, 2008 by hippiemom004

Iwake up every morning and thank god that im alive, and today wasn’t any different. so tell me what went wrong? im 37 years old, mother of 4, i have a grandaughter that’s 2, her mother is due in june with another girl, and all i want to do is end it all. my kids are 22(with a 2 yo and another 1 on the way), 18 yo son, 17 yo daughter and a 16 yo daughter. they all hate me. i’ve been in a loveless marriage from my husband for almost 21 years now. i really didnt think that i was that bad …

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Lowest

  May 4th, 2008 by TheNextProphet?

I have OCD. I HATE IT!

Because of this I don’t “hang out” or have any real friends, so I spend most of my time by myself. I try to make friends but it is just awkward and people just accuse me of following them and tell me to go away. I’m just socially clueless. I try to fit in but then get made fun of for overdoing everything that EVERYBODY EXPECTED FROM ME IN THE FIRST PLACE! How do I please you people? I go on and on about my obsessions and other OCD-related crap. I just don’t …

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Blah blah blah

  May 4th, 2008 by Jan

Does anybody really read these things?

I feel like I’ve come to the end of my life. I’m 43. I have four kids. Every reason to stay alive.

How did I get here? They tell me it’s because of bipolar disorder. I’m sure I do have it, but that doesn’t change the way I feel today or why I don’t want to go on living.

I had a normal childhood. Maybe I didn’t get the nurturing I could have. Hell, my parents were just kids themselves. When I was 14 I wanted to die (I’m not sure exactly why), so …

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Still Can’t Believe It Ended Like This

  May 4th, 2008 by TheNextProphet?

I have written here before in an entry called Lowest.

When my school fell apart, I switched to a Christian school for sixth grade which I thought would be a great experience because I had a few friends there. I had no idea what I was in for. I had been picked on a little before for my OCD tendencies but not much afterwards, but I always knew I was different. I was tortured my first few months of sixth grade but eventually people left me alone. I managed to make myself a little less different. However, two of the tormentors …

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My Life

  May 3rd, 2008 by Grey

I recall from my younger years faking suicide. My parents would be gone from home, and when they’d return, I’d see them coming up the driveway. I’d quickly spread ketchup on myself and the kitchen floor, and lay on a knife. Now, as an adult, I realize I craved attention, to feel needed and loved, while at the same time trying to show my family what they would be missing if I wasn’t around – hoping that something like this would give them the motivation to give me what I craved.

I quit a job because I wanted more time to spend with …

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“The Sun Also Rises”

  May 2nd, 2008 by Trinity

Life hasn’t always been so depressing for me, I used to be a very outgoing, really funny child, and happy person. I had really great friends and a close family back then. People understood me, and I understood people. Things have changed though…my life has taken a turn for the worst, and I am completely out of control of it.

I really wish there was no such thing as disease and suffering. I’m sick of suffering from this horrible disease, no one understands me or what I’m going through, I just can’t take the pain anymore….

Evolution is a cruel but beautiful process which creates …

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  May 2nd, 2008 by Trinity

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Ill be you crying shoulder

  May 2nd, 2008 by wilkie

    im a kid whos gone through alot of stuff in his life and up until a couple years i was considerd normal and then all of a sudden everyone of my so called “friends” just abbandend me

    I dont know why and someplace i dont wanna know. Now i didnt know why i stared but i just started cutting and at first just to see what it was like and as time went on it became a habbit and a copping thing for me.

    And well a couple months ago i was gonna commit suicide, i had everything planned out from the time to

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why

  May 2nd, 2008 by nobodyspecial

What’s life for? Are we just walking air and food processors playing an ecological part in the world’s natural system? Are we here to make life better for other people? Are we here just to experience joy and suffering and maybe learn something?

I’ve dealt with depression my whole life. The only time it eases is when I’m in a relationship .. then I feel normal, like a worthy human being again, like a semi-attractive man again. But all my relationships invariably end with me being discarded. I don’t make it difficult for them .. I don’t stalk or harass or bother them. In fact, they …

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My story

  May 1st, 2008 by Mary

I write because I am hoping that by simply writing, this intention will fade. Thirteen years ago, my father mmitted suicide. Soon afterwards, I made my first suicidal attempt. Two other suicidal gestures followed the attempt. At that time, I was seeing a psychologist twice a week. Now, years later, I not only do not have the financial means to seek psychological help, I feel less inclined to want to seek it. I have recently relocated to a new area. I am near sixty years old. My motivation for moving was to be closer to my …

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My story

  May 1st, 2008 by Mary

I write because I am hoping that by simply writing, this intention will fade. Thirteen years ago, my father committed suicide. Soon afterwards, I made my first suicidal attempt. Two other suicidal gestures followed the attempt. At that time, I was seeing a psychologist twice a week. Now, years later, I not only do not have the financial means to seek psychological help, I feel less inclined to want to seek it. I have recently relocated to a new area. I am near sixty years old. My motivation for moving was to be closer to my …

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Suicidal Again

  May 1st, 2008 by Failure59

I’m a 50 year old man. Very high suicide group. Alcoholic. Learning disability. Frequent depression through the years, anxiety disorders and so on.Have been suicidal since sixteen. Am now jobless and deeply depressed. Am trying to think of painless, peaceful ways to suicide.

I think that I’ll try a compressed inert gas, such as compressed CO2 or ********, in my car. It won’t be messy or smelly for the landlord that way. Maybe I can make it look like an accident for my relatives. Welding accident… the valve was opened accidentally while he was transporting it…

People shouldn’t have so many children, you know. There would …

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friday its only days away but it feels like a lifetime

  April 30th, 2008 by deadfriend3

Well I suppose 2 days is a lifetime at the moment its kind of funny to hear about suicide via hanging… My advice is do research on what ur gunna attatch the rope to, I have been for the past few days and when i can go n buy my rope to make my knoose friday afternoon I will get to prove that it really is strong enough… Ya know it is great to be able to write on here where no one knows you or where you are because this way I can say whatever I want and i dont have to worry about …

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