Today was pretty much happy, but for some reason I’m unable to stay that because I start thinking and it’s all negative thoughts and I wish I could make them cease but I’m just unable to so. I feel ugly even though my best friend says I’m not. I feel everyone just hates me when I know they don’t. I feel self conscious about every tiny aspect about me from my hair to the way I walk to my weight to the shape of my face. Sorry this is just random ranting, but I’ve never dated before and ive asked and been turned away, I […]
He’s gone he’s gone he’s gone
it hurts alot to know
he left and not say goodbye
i cry myself to sleep at night
i keep getting sympathy
but now its over
nothing left but memories
its so hard to feel the struggling
oh gosh im now depressed
i feel my heart fall
i feel the tears fall
i see him up above
now he’s in a better place
i hope he’s happy now
he got what he has now
i can feel the pain
as i keep thinking and thinking about you
i loved you like the best friend should
i will always be […]
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The Whisper
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Today is as dark and forboding as my mood,
segmented by each labored staccato breath,
elongated shadows caress the faceless hood
of the relentless messenger of death.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Motionless, patiently standing there,
wispering “You’ve got no place to hide”.
Waiting, waiting for me to pay my fare,
for my journey to the other side.
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A Rainy Day
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The rain falls like molten drops of lead,
an endless oppressive silence in my head,
there is nothing anyone has said,
that eases my feeling of painful dread.
– – – – – – – – – – – – –
A cold opaque grayness permeates […]
I wrote a new song last night but didn’t post it. It might be a tad confusing, I apologize if it disorients you. 😉
I wonder what it’s like not to feel this way
I wonder if it’s nice to see the sun and smile
What would it be like if I woke up to another day
And didn’t wish I wasn’t here, for a little while?
I wonder if it’s nice to worry about tomorrow’s test
To stress out with my friends and worry about my grade
What would it be like if my mind had some rest?
If I could sit and sip cold lemonade
Would I sit and smell the flowers?
Would […]
Nothing ever goes right for me and im through with being fucked over time and time again. Ive had enough.
I wrote this again at another painful time, and I thought that maybe submitting and allowing you to read some of the poetry I have written would lower some of my walls and let you guys in and see through my eyes. Enjoy.
I don’t know where to start,
I feel as if I’m falling apart.
Reality is finally kicking in,
I just don’t know where to begin.
The weight of the world on my shoulders, making me cry for air,
Not like anyone would help me, no one would dare.
If only you could see the real me,
Buried underneath all this agony.
Hidden under all this ebony,
Therein lies a tragedy.
Wishing so desperately […]
A poem I wrote, maybe a little confusing but I wrote this at a more depressing time (in my eyes). Hope someone will like this.
My heart, always bleeding and always will be broken,
Waiting for it to be awoken.
Hidden deep within me,
Far beyond entry.
You will find a key,
One that will unlock me.
It is contained in a heart shaped box,
That is covered in dangerous locks.
Only the bravest will dare, if any at all,
Which leads to my great downfall.
My stupidity will surely be the end of me,
My dreams have been taken from me.
Hiding my heart shaped box,
Covered in dangerous locks.
Hidden deep below,
Where not even the bravest would dare […]
At some points in my life I feel absolutely still, like there’s nothing but silence, it hurts more tha the worst sounds.
I’m pulling away from everything and I don’t know why. I normally hang out with my two best friends, one’s a girly girl and the other…well she classifies herself as a scene, and I’m emo. But I usually talk with them every morning but I didn’t today, and I have no idea why.
They asked later on “what’s wrong” I just said I wanted to be focused on school (if you knew me you would figure out that I detest, loath school and want nothing […]
My blood slows down.
My pulse steadies.
Clearing my head of any painful thoughts.
Slipping into the best I can be.
Lifeless.
No more
Gone.
Existence is overwhelming,
Death,
Is too inviting.
Slipping into the best I can be.
Lifeless.
Someone wrote this and I really like it.
——————–
I find people that scream “selfish” to those who consider suicide sort of…well…selfish! It seems like they’re saying “I don’t mind as long as YOU are the one that’s suffering unbearable pain for years on end with no end in sight. Buck up…it’ll get better…maybe.” The second someone actually commits suicide however and it’s them feeling any sense of pain, all of a sudden it’s a big problem. Are you saying that your feelings and emotions are more important than someone considering suicide? The huge difference is that a lot of people never get over suicide, […]
…an old country song by Don Williams
Lord, I hope this day is good,
I’m feeling empty and misunderstood.
I should be thankful Lord I know I should,
But, Lord, I hope this day is good.
Well I have not posted on here for a while as but I figure it is a good place to vent without fear of consequences, anyway I am just so tired of it all. I’m just running through the motions, yet another day, exhausted and lost. wishing it to be undone. I’m stuck in limbo, can’t go back and I can’t or don’t want or too scared to go forward…I just don’t know. all I do is think about ways to leave
I’d thought that I share some song lyrics as this song plays over and over constantly and I feel it very apt  for me, even tho it’s about something […]
I can’t do anything right.
All I want to do is die. The other day I went searching for pills or anything that would be useful to me in the future and I am too scared to admit this to anyone. I’m too scared to tell them that all I think about is death, and slitting my wrists when no one is around. Sometimes I try to remember when I got each scar. The deepest one is from the Thursday before I attempted suicide. It was the day I cut my hair, too. I went to school crying, unable to tell my friends why. What was […]
I figured I’d tell my story, given that I decided today that I want to live for a while. I almost let myself bleed to death, but I didn’t want my sister to find me in a puddle of blood in the bathroom. Anyway, I’ve only given you guys bits and pieces you’ve had to gleam from my poetry and such, and that’s not fair. You shouldn’t have to work hard to understand me. But that’s just how I am. No one really knows me, not even my closest friends. My best friend always says that: “Lisa, you’re so mysterious. It’s really cool.” Anyway, I’m […]
They say we are selfish for wanting it to end.They say we should stay alive we are too young.Do they know what I go through each day?Do they know what she does?The dark feeling begins,first the whisper of the voice, saying it’ll all be over soon.Then the screaming of the voice telling me to just do it. Then something good happens so I get an inkling of hope. Only to have snatched around by her.
she is the reason for my problems. Once again you say it is selfish for me to want it to end. It’s selfish for you to want me to stay […]
Hey,
I know you didn’t ask for one, so I don’t have a poem specifically for you. But I do think about you and hope you are okay. I hope that even though I haven’t seen any posts or replies from you, I hope you are still “lurking” and still here. Hopefully this place still holds some value and you still get some positives for your life by being here. If not, I certainly understand, but this post is in the hope that you read this and get some needed love. I cannot repay what you’ve given me, but that won’t stop me from trying.
Peace be unto […]
Please shoot me in the fucking head. I want to die. I want to die.
@BoD – you asked, so here it is…. don’t say I didn’t warn you… and everyone else!
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This is for biscut,
the one of Death,
who once said
this is my last breath.
– – – – – – – – – – – –
He thought it was time
to end it all,
it didn’t work out,
for the good of us all.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I understand,
you still feel the same,
I’m just glad
you’re still in the Game.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
The feelings you have
and the emotions that are there,
let them out here
where […]
I feel completly stupid. I just want to bash my head against the wall till my brains show. I cant beileve i actually believe that. Ugh im so fucking depress that i am ready to go kill myself. Im just want to jump in the river and hoping my death will be fast.(btw i breath differntly like everyone else. i have to take deep breaths just to get oxygen into my lungs. :/. Ugh fuck my life. My best friend in the whole world is dead. It hurts alot v- v. I miss him too much to ever let it go. Every time i […]
She’s a *****, for no reason. Â She doesn’t like me, and I’m kinda glad cause she is a slut. Â However I do hope one day I fuck her. Â I hope I grow up to be rich, then one day I’ll see her again and then she’ll approach me. Â I’ll fuck her and leave her and make her feel like shit. Â That may sound mean but I’m in a shit mood right now and could really give a fuck. Â Sorry.