Two weeks ago I was going to give up, just do it, give my doubters what they wanted, thinking the world would be a better place if i just did do it, i hung about about the train platforms, covered myself in petrol with a blade in one pocket and a lighter in the other pocket, my mind said do it do it your a useless father, useless son, a waste of space and air i was crying i was at my wits end i even wanted to make innocent people to suffer, but something stopped me, something told me GIVE UP, GIVING UP only […]
I thought I had a great time on Saturday. I was out with a lot of friends, having a ton of fun. It was pretty much perfect. However, I disregarded a promise and was sorry for it earlier in the day. Later at night, the girl who I told I couldn’t hang out with said it was really important and that she wanted that day for new memories. Good memories. Now me and her were like family. I felt so bad after she told me why it was so important, and I said sorry so many countless times. […]
This whole thing is where people go when they want to die ?
It’s completly set up for us . This is like a gathering of all of us . It’s like .. We’re with eachother .
I just feel like I’m blending in .. I fit in here .
But it seems like I’m losing myself, the longer I stay on here . Alot of the reason I wish I were dead, si because LIfe is so complicated, and it’s all the same . But this site, is just like the others . It’s made to be perfect . That’s the thing … In […]
im so tired of beeing put down yeah i know im useless, stupid, annoying, and weird and a lot of other things. yeah i have an amazin boyfriend that i know loves me a lot and wouldnt ever put me down but that one person cant put up with me for me for to much longer:”( like my ex always says no guy can put up with me for long then they cant stand me just like everyone else. i swear i hate life i wish it would all just end but that would kill him and hailey shes got to have me or she […]
My boyfriend/soulmate committed suicide 4 months ago. I made him my life for the past 7 years. His depression and desperation got the best of him. As I lay here writing this I can’t help but feel his depression overcoming me, and the need to be with him. I don’t want to leave my house, I feel what is the point. I am in counselling, its not helping. I am slowly withering away. My friends have all abandoned me. I don’t want to be pityed, I am tired of people looking at me and knowing they are thinking “poor-thing.” I just lost my job (not […]
I’m natalie…if anyone has any problems and has no one to talk to…i’m here.
I need help serious help, but I’d have to talk to someone about it. And I’m not doing that, not for a long long time.
I hate everything.
Every little thing.
Everything bothers me now, and everything’s building up that one of these days I’m gonna explode. It’s not gonna be pretty. This is so unhealthy, but I can’t talk to anyone because I don’t trust anyone.
I absolutely hate going to church. Don’t get me wrong, I love God and everything. I pray many times a day, read the bible, and I’m always trying to do the right thing. But I hate going because of how I’m treated […]
A cold apparition walks through dead trees.
Seeking a prevalent comfort in the freezing breeze.
Unable to answer how he got here, question his existence.
He recognizes the dreaded solitude through silence.
As he is free from the chains that bounded him through life.
But all the while, love is all he wanted.
And now as a lonely apparition, he will never experiance it.
Life?
When I was nine, I wanted to stab myself. At the time, I didn’t know what was going on. I had no legitimate reason behind wanting to kill myself at that age. My mother, of course, signed me up for therapy not quite getting what was going on herself. I suffered from panic and anxiety attacks for a while.
Now, I’m sixteen and it has gotten worse. I hate myself. I hate how I look, talk, act, and everything about me. I can spend my days locked in my room crying, screaming, and pulling my hair out. I can spend my days laughing, smiling, and hanging out with friends. I […]
No matter what I do I feel empty inside. I don’t want to do what you tell me, I don’t want to do anything, actually. My behavior has been strange lately my emptiness is leaking out and my mask is fading. I used to be able to do this what happened to me? I have work to do so I do it. The end, there no more to me. I feel sorry for my mother the most though, she gave birth to someone without a soul, without light, I don’t know what I am or what I was. Its getting heavier everyday as more emptiness […]
Every noise he makes
every screetching noise he plays.
Louder and louder
i cover my ears.
I close my eyes tight
and think happy thoughts.
Its too loud i said.
All i want is for it to stop.
I cry every note he plays.
I want to bang my head
against the hard ground.
I want to see the blood flow out
as he plays his song.
It hurts to think
i cant even finish this poem.
It becomes more and more loud
even his song cries out for help.
We been through so much
even beaten by a clutch.
Although he plays till night
My world is crumbling down all around me. I had all these plans, but now it’s all over. Nothing is working out right, and I am done fighting if I have no reason to. I know that suicide isn’t the answer, but I just…don’t know what else to do.
I’m…done.
I’ve been thinking alot lately over random periods of weeping about assorted shit. It’s obviously gotten pretty deep or I wouldn’t have posted here.
Obviously anyone who’s been following my story would know that I get down from alot of girl trouble and lack of social skills etc. I’ve more or less narrowed down the cause to my parents for every situation. Especially my mom. They did some shit wrong a long long time ago, whether it was lack of basic education or just a lack of support I don’t know. Maybe both.
I mean I didn’t learn to ride a bike until a year ago and […]
I think about death and dying constantly. This life with all the pain and suffering  just seems to be too much for me to take. My back hurts all the time and so does my soul. I see death as a redemption.
I wish I could leave this world without hurting anyone, but I realize that´s impossible. There are people who love me and whom I love, and I know their hearts would break if I killed myself. (Still I understand that even love isn´t enough for some people to keep them hanging on.)
I guess the bonds between me and my loved ones keep me […]
hi, im new. well, here at least. not to the situation.
it started when i was a child. my mother used to have a joke that half of our family is addicted to alcohol, the other half is suicidal. well, it seems i got the best of both worlds: i started to drink at 19 and tried to overdose myself with sedative pills a few moths later. cannot went through with it back then, i throwed up most if it half hour later.
a few years passed with heavy drinking an no more attempts – good times those were. i thought im over it, it […]
Honestly as I think everythings getting better everythings alright it just crashes back down on you and there Is nothing you can do about it, I’m suicidal again and I don’t even have time to think anymore I just do what I please even if it makes things worse I don’t mean to I can’t cope through all of thus again not another time not again not with out you by my side. I don’t even know how I’m still here why Is my heart still beating when it has nothing to beat for besides  you.. If I loose you, I loose everything. I can’t […]
Do you try to make me cry?
Do you try to keep a frown on my face?
Do you try to step on my heart over and over again?
Do you try…
Do you try…..
I’m gone now
Goodbye
Girlfriend
It’s been two months or something and haven’t seen Lizzie. Well, is it time to move on, she lives 2 hours away and long distance relationship… Naw, it doesn’t feel like she’s my girlfriend anymore. Haven’t seen her. Too far away.
Video games
I’ve played from the morning to night yesterday and today, at least I wasn’t bored. But my anxiousness caused me to want to play video games all weekend. Yet, I wasted that time also. I could have done something about it. Addiction to video games maybe, but whatever I had some fun playing. Now I will stress over school
School
End […]
the definition of a friend. its been a short time since iv met you guys but you guys mean the world to me. wanna cry? take my shoulder. feeling lonely? heres my hand. times are tough. but itll get better now that we have eachother. and brondon i love your voice. liz i hope to one day hear yours. …heres something i wrote…you’re all shocked what a surprise.
what could have led to this her mother cries.
she was always so happy…well thats where your wrong.
she never had a friend
just stitches to mend
from her cuts that were so deep
the company of […]
why I want to die. I have a nice home, a loving family, go to a good school, and have good friends. what is wrong with me if I can’t appreciate these things? There are people who are much worse off than I and yet still don’t wish to kill themselves. I’m so selfish and take everything for granted. I deserve to die and definitely don’t deserve anybody’s love. I wish my family didn’t love me so I could just exit this stupid life. I’m so mad at myself for procrastinating doing my biomedical class homework. I just want to tell my group members they […]