Good bye to me living the fullest of life. I cnt live like this anymore.  I dont wanttttt tooo beeeee ME
Nothing, seems to kill me
No matter how hard I try
Nothing’s closing my eyes
No matter how hard I fall, nothing can break all
I’d give you everything you need
I’d give you everything I own
I’d give in if it could be mine alone
I’d give it everything I could
To blow it to hell and gone
Someone, tried to tell me something
Don’t let the world, bring you down
Nothing can do me in, before I do myself
So, save it for the your own and the ones you can help
Blowing it to hell and gone.
will anyone listen to me? no one to talk. all these people. they don’t understand. they have no clue. someone help. i will die. under my own hands. problems. everyone has them. i will throw up again. i will harm myself. i just want to be happy.
i have came up a conclusion that i am nothing more than dirt to be thrown around. Why does everyone see me a joke, not one person tried to talk to me when i was feeling bad today and when i try to talk they fucking ignore me. And i even cried when i got home because i realize its going to get much worse after high scool. Damn if i could i would have my cut my self right in front of them, ha like they care anyways. Am i really that undesirable.
i dont know what was with today. i must of had loner written on my headd today. everyone fucking telling me you have no life your life is boring u suck and the only thing i can do is say i know and run to the bathroom before i start crying
Years down the road and I’m still unhappy. I smile a lot, that makes people smile, but it’s a front for how bad I feel inside. But who am I telling, though, probably most of you on this site do the same exact thing.
I’m just not happy.
I posted an entry on this site saying that I was going to give myself 2 weeks to see if I improved. I made an honestly great effort to improve. I even gave myself more than that 2 weeks, pretty much because my brother decided to visit and I’m not gonna do it while he’s here. I’m still unhappy. […]
feel the warmth
As it flows down my chest
The cuts in my neck throb
Now I fade
This is my dream
If not now
When
How long are you willing no give yourself to get better or to achieve what you want before you call it a day on this earth.
Like if you haven’t achieved something by a certain age etc..
I just want to feel alive.
And love myself from the in and the outside.
‘Cause every time that I start to feel whole,
I knock myself on the ground because it’s all that I’ve known
Just like the streets burn a hole through your shoe.
My soul has been worn out too,
I’m 25 and I still don’t fit in
Directionless, like a blind man painting
Mother I’m so sorry, I can’t go on like this.
The lifeboats are leaving with or without me.
What’s the point of falling in love?
If I don’t love myself.
What’s the point of being alive if all I want […]
im sitting in math class. i sit by myself. front row seat right by the window. i dont like math. or the people in it. theres a couole in the back row that are basically boning…it looks like they’re in love…lucky fucks…in the other corner theres a group. the pretty girls and the pretty guys. they are talking about sex as if it were a show. im envious of them..they like waking up in the morning. why do i have to be in math right now. i dont like math
I hate my life!!!! let the world fucking end i’d be so happy. Then I would be better off. Im tired of bulshit. Im tired of everything. I turn 18 the day the world ends. Im estatic. Cant ya tell.
I want to sleep a deep sleep and never wake up. Im so depressed and i refuse to take my medicine.
If you were rich enough to spend your life luxuriously without having to worry about making money anymore, would you still want to die?
Me – no.
i see people everyday.
people i talk to.
people that walk past me in the street,
people that never frown.
people full of confidence, always surrounded by friends.
and i always wonder, when they go home…
do the shaddows creep up on them too?
do they fall into the hole of darkness i find myself in every night?
no one would ever pick me to be here.
doing this…
i run around talking shit.
i laugh and make jokes.
im ‘the happy one’
ones of those people you never see cry
you never see get angry..
is that why this hole sucks me in so easily?
the world is funny like that.
spose nothings as it seems.
I try to think of what the significance of today was and I come up short. I can tell you what I did, when I did it and why but it’s already happened, that moment has passed. And life is just a bunch of passing moments until you come to a brick wall that you just cannot seem to pass. Whether it be chosen or not that moment comes from everyone.
I sit here and I wonder how many other people feel the same way I do, how many people have done the things I’ve done and continued. There are thousands of posts all over this […]
hi my name is marc. i have schizoaffective disorder. it hurts to think..it’s hard to talk..sometimes i feel normal but sometimes it’s difficult to function..complete deterioration and agitation and fear..anxiety..im prescribed a bunch of narcotics..they try to keep my doped up to control my thoughts..my neighbors have been recording me for a long time..they have audio recordings of my movements..i receive ssi benefits and am afraid that one day i’m guna be this dude with a unkempt beard homeless riding my bike around town picking cig butts out of ashtrays..i saw my doc yest and she said i’ll never be homeless cuz of my benefits..that […]
I’m back…I don’t really know why…I guess reading other peoples stories helps me realize I’m not the only one. I take my paxil everyday but I feel a “fake happy” if at all happy what so ever. (I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone but me). I just wish I had one person to talk to that I could connect with. No one really cares enough or takes me serious enough to be concerned. I’m just so tired of living and existing this way going thru the motions of everyday life, but feeling so dead to the world. Anyways ill quit […]
I have finally lost it. I have finally gone off the edge of everything. I dont know what happen to me anymore. Im shoving food down my throat and i know thats not good. I just wanted to eat. Eat like i never eaten before. I just want to know whats wrong. I cry today and now im gaining weight by eating. Im suck! I couldnt do one simple thing and i seem to fuck it up. No wonder i have no self-confidence. I seem to fail at what i was trying to do. Ugh im such a pig. Why couldnt i controll this? This […]
I knew it was gonna come to this. I lost it all. Well I’m gonna go quick and easy either memorial day or D-Day. I love you Kristen. I always have. I always will.
it says im logged is as broken…cause i guess thats what i am. its missing the part about being lonely, tired, fed up, beaten, bruised, it says im logged in as broken. broken bones. broken bonds. broken hearted. im like a cheap puzzle that wont stay together even with all the right pieces in all the right places…im logged in as broken and i wanna log out.
I FEEL MY LIFE IS WORTHLESS….EVER SINCE I WAS LITTLE….MY LIFE Â HAS ALWAYS BEEN FILLED WITH TONS OF MEANINGLESS EMOTION. IM JUST DONE…………FOR GOOD……….IM SORRY MOM………MY DEATH SHALL NEVER HAVE MEANING………EXCEPT FOR MY MOM WHO WILL NEVER FULLYÂ UNDERSTAND……. I COULD NOT GO ON LIVING WHILE Â HES OUT N SO HAPPY BUT YET IM STUCK WITH THE BODY HE ONCE TOUCHED…..