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What now?

  July 2nd, 2009 by MrPayne

The past 18 months have been difficult. Lost allot of things, cars, house, jobs, wife miscarried etc. Then in March my wife’s email was open and saw that she was into a couple of online relations with other guys. They were pretty explicit. One was local and they had made arrangements to meet. I called her on it. At first she lied about it, then came clean. We discussed it. I forgave her but can’t get it out of my head. Our relation ship was the last failure that broke my back. Life just seems to be unbearable. I love my wife very much and was [...]
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  July 2nd, 2009 by HopelessBear

It’s not that I feel too much. . . it’s that I feel nothing.

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Better next time

  July 2nd, 2009 by breathtakingDeath

I’ve been my practically my whole life in fear and revulsion of gays. Growing up, I never knew why I  never knew why I hated them so much, especially older, white gays. Whenever they were around me, I would start sweating heavily and try to get away. If I couldn’t get away, if for example I had to attend a meeting and they were there, I would look for trouble and try to antagonise them. This is not in my nature, so I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. I knew it wasn’t some latent homosexuality in me, because what they did disgusted me and [...]
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The Phone Call That Saved My Life

  July 2nd, 2009 by gloomy357

Dena does know about all the times I've cut myself, and all the times I've tried to kill myself. She's drilled into my head that she loves me,and life is worth something. I hope all of you know you have something or someone to live for.
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Suicide young prefromers

  July 2nd, 2009 by darkgermandeath

 The very first time i had ever cut  my self on purpose was when i was 11 with a shaving razzor I saw my sister that was visiting from Tennessee kissing my nieghbor and i dont know why I felt even that young that cheating on someone was and is wrong but i remembered my brother telling me something about cutting helps some times so i grabed my dads shaving razzor and broke it apart and started cutting downward pretty deep it stang for a while and kept stinging for days but after i thought about it in some way it did help so i [...]
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  July 1st, 2009 by gimpygardner

I’ve only read a few days of posts, & I’m kinda hesitant to add mine, but here goes…I can remember when I was happy last-up until the day my mom pushed me away when I was giving her a hug, saying my sister was wondering if I was a lesbian. I might have been 8. After that I dreamed of being away-camping somewhere & I would lay in the backyard going thru catalogs for the gear I’d need.  I always used to have so much love I couldn’t contain it.  Within a couple yrs I climbed to the patio porch & threatened to jump.  I [...]
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Boredom is death

  July 1st, 2009 by susan5


I haven’t posted here before.  Actually, I feel a bit out of place among all the angst-filled teenagers and people who have real problems and shit like that.  What’s my problem?  Hard to put down in words, I guess, though I spend a lot of time trying to do it.  I’m 33, I’ve lived a comfortable, middle-class life with kind, if emotionally-distant, parents.  Did well enough at school.  Went on to university.  Expected to “achieve” something.  But, really, something was wrong from the start.  I write this, because, I don’t know, maybe there are other people in my situation out there.  But, I don’t know, I [...]
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  July 1st, 2009 by Jess66

I don’t know what to do anymore. Last night I sat there in my room in my closet with the scissors to my wrist cutting.. not very deep. and i just kept imagining me going a little bit deeper and slowly dying. I don’t WANT to do. I want to escape what I’m feeling and I can’t find a way to do that, my only outlet is death. I try so hard to be stable it’s like I’m either SUPER happy, SUPER sad, or SUPER something and all I do is get yelled at for it by my mother. I’m trying so hard I don’t [...]
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I’m Helpless At This Point

  July 1st, 2009 by CJ

I really can’t take this anymore. I’m sorry to all of you who take offense to me, since you all have real legitimate problems that I want to help you with if it weren’t for my own selfishness and self loathing got in the way. I’m sorry.

I hate my family. I always try to see the good in people rather than be a total pessimist, but I am always proved wrong. I hate how my father comes home everyday piss drunk. I hate how my little brother is treated like a king when he acts like an asshole 24/7. I hate how my older brother [...]
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even at the Top im at the bottom

  July 1st, 2009 by darkgermandeath

When i feel im doing something good with my life something happens that shoots me into the ground.Being the youngest of five most would think i would be the babyed one the spoiled little bastard that gets what ever i ask for.And where i have received the things i had wanted im told its just because im the baby one,not that i had done something good enough for a reward.Always being told that beauty is the only way you’ll make in the world is depressing when you find your self disgusting at times i will act as if im happy so i dont bring down [...]
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  July 1st, 2009 by nate

i posted here once before… but i did a really bad job of explaining… i basically told what has happened to me, but thats not really all that needs to be said….. its just frustrating when you want to die, you are hurting so much, and the people you turn to just start blaming themselves and apologizing…. its also really stressful when you have to help the two closest people in your life go through the exact same thing as you, and see them suffer like you do. i think i die a little bit inside whenever one of them begs me to let them [...]
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only the small prob.

  July 1st, 2009 by emily25

So the drugs have worn off. My stomach still gets nautiated when I move too much and I have a really bad head ache after I eat. But I am acting more like myself now. Faking smiles and laughts as usual. Well, untill everybody goes to bed anyways. Now I am back to thinking of ways to kill myself without it looking like I did it or pin anyone else on killing me. I don’t want to hurt anyone :/
I almost broke up with my boyfriend today. Ha never even texted me. I’m tired of always being the one to text first. He can [...]
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I don’t even know why i’m here…

  June 30th, 2009 by Aerowin04

I don’t feel comfortable talking about my life, even behind a veil of anonymity. Not yet any way, But after a long road i’m now living with my Girlfriend, going on 2 weeks now. We’ve been together 10 months. 10 months of only seeing each other every other weekend, so its a nice change.

I thought i got over this a while ago, after 3 attempts and a long spiral everything seemed to be looking up. i joined the Navy(  i was later separated because I “might” have ADD( their words not mine) i at least tried, which is much more than many others can say. [...]
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last papercut

  June 30th, 2009 by lastdose

Too deep to hurt,
yet too painful to ignore,
i try to forget,
but there’s blood on my floor.

screaming inside,
but mouth swollen into a smile,
i sing a song,
cause i know I’ll be here awhile.

it stings and it burns,
like fire among us,
but don’t worry at all,
i won’t make a fuss.

if you see me lie here,
just laugh and walk away,
because some things are just too fast to see,
and for a mistake you will pay.

I’m shattering inside,
a heart of broken glass,
yet with each new strike,
the pain starts to pass.

as I’ve told you before,
my mouth is [...]
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  June 30th, 2009 by lastdose

my close friend nick has recently ODed on prescription drugs. he first told me that he thought it would help his headache if he took a few extra, but that was before i found out he did it on purpose. usually nick is full of energy sure, but he also has an addiction to burning his body and also cutting gashes into his palms. as i am a cutter, yes i admit.. but it just makes me upset knowing nick ruins his beautiful body and has trouble telling me why. i completely respect this, as he doesn’t see his father, and his mother has told [...]
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  June 29th, 2009 by emily25

Thursday I ODed. It’s now Monday and I still feel like shit. My parents think it’s some kind of “bug” or something. I just let them think that. I want to tell them so maybe I can get some help… But I can’t bring myself to it. Maybe I should have gone to the hospital. I don’t know. I just still feel like shit. I don’t know much of anything these days. No, I never “had my life together” but then it didn’t matter. I was too young to be thinkng of that so it didn’t matter. I can’t wake up from this.  I haven’t [...]
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tryin to find a new way to cope….help!

  June 29th, 2009 by obiKYLEkenobi

im new to this so its probly going to be a hue rant. so much has happened and its so hard to talk about. i dont know how this is going to go but …… ill start by saying my name is kyle im 25 and live in DE. i guess the core of my issues comes from the way i was treated as a child, i came from a well to do family with two drug addicted parents. even being fucked up all the time they were loving parents who provided everything material i ever needed but the emotional support was hardly ever there. [...]
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fuck it

  June 29th, 2009 by forgetkaitlin

you cant just fucking sit around for one god dam day and just feeling sorry for your self for a little bit

no not with out someone bitching at you saying its your own fault your life is shity

and that one person who says it is some stupid ***** who could give a fuck less about me but is sapposidly

sapossed to love me idk…… honestly im so angry at the world that i dont give a fuck about anything or any

one any more. Its like i cant show emotions

so i hide them become angry but have no one to take it out on…..

I just really dont [...]
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i know i have posted this before… but i want to help you.

  June 29th, 2009 by cadys-story

i have posted this before… but i want to help.  if you are truely thinking about suicide please read this… it will only take a second and you can go on from there…

hello, i am here today to tell you about my site… you see, i grew up in a family where my mom and dad were fighting constantly, my mom cheated on my dad and that just lead to a down  fall… anyhow, when i was five, my mom left my dad and i went to live with her, i never knew my dad growing up which could have helped me as my mom [...]
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i have no idea what im supposed to put here…. if youre reading this you already know whats going on.

  June 29th, 2009 by nate

might as well share my story… this is gonna be rambling and probably not very cohesive, fyi. ive commented on a lot of other posts on this site. i go on here multiple times a day, to check and see whats new here. my goal in life is to help people. specifically, keep depressed people from killing themselves and hopefully get rid of their depression. i have dedicated my life to that goal. so far i have been very successful at keeping people from killing themselves, but not so good at ending any kind of depression… as far as i can tell i just drag [...]
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