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5

I Almost Suceeded

  May 7th, 2009 by NoWayItsRick

It’s been almost three months since I almost suceeded killing myself. I had everything planned, right down to the bottom line. I had called to say goodbye to my mother and grandparents. They had no clue what was actually going on. They figured I was just saying goodnight like I do everynight. I was going to take the entire bottle of serious pain killers I had. I still had a small bit of doubt and I tried to cling to it. The pain became too real for me. And it grew steadily worse. I started cleaning my room up. Organizing everything. In my own sick …

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19

What a fucked up life I lead

  May 7th, 2009 by harmlessfun

I’m finding myself hitting the bottom again…or shall I say bottoming out. That “special” time in life where you feel like you live in the gutter and the world spits on you in contempt as it gently walks by. The world cannot hate me any more than I already hate myself. I would just take my life, but there are so many people that would be hurt that death is not an option. So here I sit in my misery. Committed to a life of solitude. Making the decision that I’ll just start taking prescription drugs to blank out …

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12

What the fuck?!

  May 6th, 2009 by Crazy C

This is the hand we’re dealt, live with it or get the fuck out of here. Survivors to the right, whiners to “get the fuck out of here!” Abandoned as a kid, mother – suicide, brother – homicide, father – sonofabitch! And to boot, I’m bipolar with no coping mechanisms whatsoever. Should I get out my terrible towel and cry a river?! It’s good to see that the females are still here to play the savior-nurturer to all the male “misunderstoods”. This isn’t a suicide blog. This is the fuckin’ lonely heart’s club.To most of you, suicide is some romantic notion. There is nothing romantic …

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10

im done

  May 6th, 2009 by Looney

well it started yesterday when i had decided to take maybe about 7 left over tylenol and some green pills, i think they were aleeve.  then i asked mom to bring me home some asprin and i took about i think 8 of those. today i went on ahead and took about 30 more asprin and later today im taking 30 more asprin.  im thinking about taking the whole bottle but ill just wait maybe until i finish writing this.  ive finaly decided to just do it instead of talking about it because in reality no one else can feel your pain or what your …

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0

Suicide Prevention Online

  May 6th, 2009 by padfoots

http://suicideprevention.findtalk.net/index.htm

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2

slowly getting closer

  May 5th, 2009 by slumber33

my lifes fucked, i went on a week end camp and i met this guy that i really liked, i’m goin out with him now but 2 days ago i told him i luved him, since then he hasnt spoke to me, its not only this thats fucking my head up but i really like this guy and i dont want to lose him, i’m cuttin agen, my legs, my arms, my belly, and each time i think should i cut deeper and deeper untill i reach something that might end it all, schools a ***** my m8’s think i’m depressing (depressed more like) and …

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6

Dating?

  May 5th, 2009 by meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Hi

I hope this isn’t in bad taste, but I’m male and 32, with a particularly caring nature, and I just find the mentally unstable so hot… Seeing as so many people seem to be lacking any love or attention in their life, I think I can provide a service, ‘therapy’ you could call it.

Any how, I am disease free and possess my own teeth, can travel.

Thanks

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3

I Have Done IT to Myself!!

  May 5th, 2009 by wornout

In my mid 40s old, have lead a charmed life at times, always looking for the thing that would make me happy. Bottomline nothing can make anyone happy it comes from within. So how do you do that when the weight of the world and the consequences of poor choices and actions culminate into one gigantic crushing smoothering ball and chain. Reality becomes blurred and all you want to do is check out. My children and the fear of death and HELL up to this point keep me from doing the worst however as they are several states away and thier Mother is awaiting me …

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2

Life When Dose It Start

  May 5th, 2009 by dwillis

Today was not a good day as a matter of fact I can’t remember when i’ve ever had a good day. I am about to share something about myself that no even my closest family members know. I have been suffering from depression, PTSD and Bi polar for 15 years. All because my stepfather physicaly,emotionaly abused me when I was a kid. I want nothing more then to  end my life because I cannot deal with the constant pain eveyday. I don’t get the support I need form my husband who is the only person I have told that matters to me. My mother knows …

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1

  May 5th, 2009 by Looney

im feeling a little better now since ive been writing day by day on my suicidal situations.  im not totaly 100 percent but depression is never easy to recover from.   sometimes i get so deep in depression that i isolate myself from everyone even my parents.  sometimes that personal space is something that i need to try and calm myself before doing bad things.  even though im out of a job and having to stay home with my mom, being broke, and facing the possibility of imprisonment, im still trying to look forward instead of harmful things like the knife on the kitchen table or …

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6

  May 5th, 2009 by Looney

the last time i wrote i was a little to harsh and i apologize for those of you out there who actually read these things.  you have to understand that im at a point in my life where i realy dont care about anything anymore.  when i write i just feel like there is someone out there listening to me and what i have to say just for the moment.  this is honestly the only thing that is keeping me from doing something stupid, but im sure almost everyone has been there.  well im 20 years old about to turn 21 in september.  i realy …

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0

Update

  May 5th, 2009 by Grey

It has been 1 year and 1 day since I first registered on this site.

My issue was, my girlfriend of 1.5 years, the longest relationship I’d ever know, left me. I had given up jobs, promising careers, and opportunities to be with her, and she tossed it, tossed me, to the wind like dust. Within 2 weeks of this breakup, I had gone to visit her to return some of her posessions she wanted. I’d discovered that she “hooked up” with a guy the night before, someone whom I thought was my friend. Her and this guy got engaged 2 weeks …

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4

pregnant through incest – how do I get over this?

  May 4th, 2009 by destroyed@13

I can’t stop thinking about hurting myself. It’s like an addiction; I just want to cut, to see the blood, to end this enormous pain.

 

My father made me pregnant at age 13. Then, he stuck a pole up me until I aborted. My mother told him I was pregnant. She knew all about it.

 

How do I go on after this? I am so ashamed. I feel like I killed that baby. It wasn’t my fault, but I feel like it was. I believed abortion was wrong. I would have had the baby rather than kill it. He killed my baby. 

 

I feel like dying.

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1

  May 4th, 2009 by Looney

when i took a whole bottle of tylenol, i thought for sure that this shitty life was over, but waking up in the hospital was not what i thought would happen.  i guess i didnt take anough, but after that experience i actually feel like i did die somehow.  it was like i was given a second chance to do something right or to do something different.  i know for a fact that i should have died, i shouldnt be writing this.  so many times after that i had tried, cutting my risk, taking more pills, shooting myself in the head, or drowning myself.  everytime …

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7

I can’t even escape myself in my dreams.

  May 4th, 2009 by YourAnonymous

I had a dream last night. I remembered it all. I haven’t remembered by dreams for about 2 years.
My dream: I was at my old grade school in the library. My age now, just there for some reason (it’s just down the street from my recent school now). I remember hiding behind the bookcase so nobody would see me. Then I was on my grandmother’s old Condo balconey. On the 19th floor. I’m afraid of heights and always felt unsafe there. Theres two beds on the small balconey, I’m laying on one by myself and the other one is occupied by two other people. One is …

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0

i want to die! – but i dont

  May 4th, 2009 by olzielawzy1996

Put yourself in my shoes and see what you would do.. in all honestly. I’ll take your opinions into account and within 20 days I’ll either be still alive or dead.

 

Ok.. My name is Ollie and the only thing good in my life is my beloved grandma. she lives out in the country with 16 dogs and kennels she has alot of land and we love each other so much. I go out once a week on a saturday when i’m not at school (i’m 13) and occasionaly dont go becuase shes showing but if its local i go with her. The bad things.. I’m …

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2

lost

  May 4th, 2009 by good at pretending

i’m 23 years old.  my birthday is on the 13th and i keep thinking……..maybe i won’t make it til then.  i’m a single mother of 2 kids.  it’s definitely hard……but looking at how perfect they are makes everything worthwhile.  i feel guilty for the way i feel.  i never feel like i’m good enough.  i hate myself so much that it’s hard for me to find the good in anyone else.  i didn’t have a really horrible childhood.  but when i was 8 my mom told me that my dad wasn’t really my dad….he was my step dad and my “real” dad lived in california.  …

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2

tired of living :(

  May 3rd, 2009 by Maximillionandjazz

I’m 23 years old, and i go to school to become an architect someday. I chose it because, well, drafting and mediocre skills in drawing are the only things that i can do naturally. Other than that i’m a total looser, like for real. When someone close to me once asked why i chose architecture i answered, but just because it was a really close person to me- my step grandfather, so it was a really honest answer, because all my life i couldn’t have anything i wanted: not a bycicle not a toy but only things that were from someone, my family is poor …

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3

Reasons.

  May 2nd, 2009 by MisterRiddler

I canceled my next appointment with my shrink. I feel as if I’ve given up on myself already. I started cutting again and it feels amazing to wake up from such blankness. That apathy, mind over matter. However, the tolerance is already building; fast this time. I’m already running the cuts under hot water for the extra wake up sensation.

What is it about our society that makes us fear and hate death so much? We are brainwashed, conditioned to value life and disapprove of death.

Maybe it’s because we are born selfish and our actions are primarily done in self interest. For example, let’s say I …

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3

How long should one agonize?

  May 1st, 2009 by z

It is rhetorical, even though I put a question mark there.  What kind of life is it agonizing for years and years about suicide?  I constantly pray for the Donnie Darko-out (spoiler-alert: the falling jet-engine through the roof while I lie in bed).  Hunter S. Thompson had some thinkings on the subject.  Best years behind…goodbye.

I am in so much emotional pain I cannot handle it anymore.  Day after day, month after month, year after year.  I am beyond saving.  I cannot save myself; therefore, no one can save me.  The torment is getting ridiculous.  So what?  I was too sensitive about everything and offed myself.  …

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