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6

i just can’t do it..

  February 16th, 2009 by sas82

i cant even count the number of times ive tidied up my room and prepared to hang myself from the fan. everytime i sware that this is it.. ive gotten as far as just having to kick the stool away from me.. but i just cant do it.. i want to so badly.. i want to die.. i do.. i dont want to be me anymore.. i keep thinking of everone who’s ever taken that leap.. what their last thoughts were.. maybe next time..

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7

I, too, overthink

  February 16th, 2009 by Crazy C

I can understand the overthinking. I do not know which is worse, the depression or the mania. If I could harvest just a bit of mania to use “in case of emergency”, that would be great. I am so depressed at times I cannot leave my room. I have rationalized higher power away through my overclocked brain. I don’t need preachers to tell me “because the Bible says it’s so”. I don’t need shrinks asking me “how does that make you feel?” I feel like sh*t, get away from me. I need to be fixed, I need to feel normal.

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1

Nobody Cares

  February 16th, 2009 by Moodz

FIRST OF ALL: IMA LESBIAN. I WAS ADOPTED BEFORE MY BIRTH MOTHER GAVE BIRTH. I WAS BORN IN MEXICO & BROUGHT HERE. WHEN I REACHED MIDDLE SCHOOL MY PARENTS STARTED ABUSING ME [MORE VERBALLY & EMOTIONALLY THEN ANYTHING] & IVE BEEN STRUGGLIN WIT THE FACT THAT I WAS ‘ABANDONED’. I JUS CANT DEAL WIT ME BEING ALONE. I HAVE NO FAMILY. I AM AN ONLY CHILD. SO ITS JUST ME. & MY GF………………
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i dont know why im doing this. im such a private person. but idk no body cares anyways. fuk it. this is jus a message i jus wrote to my homegirl. jus …

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4

I cant do this anymore

  February 16th, 2009 by ill never b the same

ok, I am sick of hearing life is what you make it. Then how come whwenever I try and make it better, it just gets worse? I feel like everyday I am losing even more of my life. It’s like it’s slipping away right in front of my eyes. I dont have the strength inside of me anymore to even try and live. I lay in bed all the time just thinking to myself, maybe I should just take too many pills (in which case I have done this before on purpose. I have been hospitalized 4 times for being “suicidal”) or maybe I should …

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1

Pain, Pain and more Pain

  February 16th, 2009 by Kieylee102

You think you’ve had just about finished feeling pain. Then someone just puts you in just twice as much pain you just got out of. I was hurting and thought I was going to be okay for I couple of days then someone in my family just stabs me in the back and I’m in so much pain that I cry till I pass out for the night. Then when I wake up I start to hear things. That brings bad memories and curl I in to ball and cry more. I just want to cut myself so bad, but I can’t bring myself …

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3

walking in a daze

  February 15th, 2009 by lookingforhope

i have been feeling like i am barely keeping my head above water. i move through every day trying to convince myself i matter and that my life is worth while. it is so hard for me to get out of bed most days, and i often spend days there, i am soo tired of the struggle to stay alive. tired of having to eat, tired of just breathing to be honest.

most days i do get out of bed and try to conduct my life, it feels as if i am living a lie. just making believe that i am happy and content with life. …

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3

just another day…

  February 15th, 2009 by chill

i dont know where to start… i have been dealing with depression, stress, anxiety and occasional suicidal thoughts now for years. i never (until recently) talked to anyone about my problems, which i believe was a huge mistake. i feel that this problem i have within myself is hurting not only myself, but those around me. every day has its ups and downs, and some days are better than others… i feel empty inside, i cant carry on conversation with anybody because i feel like i dont have anything interesting to say and i find myself struggling to try and talk, so i just sit …

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2

The physical hurt

  February 15th, 2009 by AbsentFeeling

Sadness is one of the many things that is written about here, but should this cause (unintentional) physical pain? Sometimes when I do have a good moment and notice all things good, I get this heavy feeling in my chest and it sort of hurts. Its like a small bruise and it makes me feel sad and scared. Should such a thing exist? It brings me more pain then ever imagined, makes me cry at night and spoils every happy moment I’ve ever had and replaces it with sadness and fear. It makes me feel ‘heavy’ but oh so very empty and unfulfilled.

Is this …

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0

  February 14th, 2009 by AbsentFeeling

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2

I am so tired.

  February 13th, 2009 by usvi

I keep “putting one foot in front of the other”, saying the mantras, talking about it, keep on keeping on, railing against the unfairness of it all, being angry, crying, talking about it, writing, talking about how angry I am, being frustrated, talking about how frustrated I am, and being stuck in the same cycle of emotions. I can’t take any more rejection. I look at what I was a few years ago and can’t fathom how I got to this point AGAIN. Suicidal thinking (and two attempts) have been an ongoing theme in my life for a long, long time. The pain doesn’t go …

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3

Survived?

  February 12th, 2009 by Question

What happened to my life? Where am i going? Today I’ve faced so much pain during the day, and even more then my dad yelled at me at the end of the day. School is getting harder and harder. Those AP classes that I’ve Singed up for tear me apart. Asked for help from the teachers to keep up, but even so I’m not doing what I’m supposed…. that is study for the make up test. Instead I’m writing to the people who i will never see nor will ever know. I’m sharing my feelings with the internet world knowing I’m safe from being …

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1

Hating Who I am

  February 12th, 2009 by Kieylee102

Everyone I know thinks I’m a great person but if I could there would be so much that I would change. I have to work ten times harder then the normal person because I have a learning disablity. I also have a tremor which causes me to shake for no reason. There’s several more things I could list but I won’t. Yesterday was very upsetting. I have a Drama class and we were working on Friday on a fight scene with combat in it ,but my tremors started up. And I was like that for two days. So I went to my teacher yesterday to …

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2

New look

  February 12th, 2009 by Mari

So I’m trying to have a new outlook on life. After recently getting my heartbroken i’m trying to bounce back fast. I’m going to go visit a friend this weekend…I really just need to get out of my home town for a little bit. The one thing that worries me is…everytime i’m doing great something happens and i’m back into a hole. The other thing that worries me is next time i get this depressed i’m actually going to try something….the only reason I haven’t tried anything latley is because of the people in my life, but slowly ive seen them leave. and its easier …

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4

Spiralling downward. I think I’m loosing all I have left.

  February 10th, 2009 by Kuddles

“Is a hug and three short words, really too much? Or am I loosing him, all I have left? After loosing my mother, my father, and being separated from my sister am I loosing him too? I just don’t think I can take it.”

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1

Slowly Dieing inside

  February 9th, 2009 by Mari

So I found out the guy I have been with has had a girlfriend for a little over a week.
He keeps telling me he doesn’t know why he’s doing what he’s doing. That he’s sorry.
He still loves me. He never wanted to hurt me.

I just feel….sick to my stomach.
Life isn’t fun anymore.
All I want is to be happy….
thats not to much to as for is it?

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4

emotionless

  February 9th, 2009 by Alexis

“If it makes you happy then why the hell are you so sad?”
I ask myself that question everyday, I have a decent life. Nothing horrible by far, and yet I feel like I’m nothing.

I’ve spun out of control and I can’t stand myself anymore.
I have friends
I have family
I have a home, materialistic items, the world’s at my finger tips

and I don’t want it.

I’m pushing everything away, I feel I am a burden to my friends and family and I have no one to talk to.
I’ve tried to kill myself 3 times before and nothing has worked…partly because I didn’t want it too and partly because …

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1

I don’t know.

  February 9th, 2009 by sea el

I can’t take it anymore. It’s the same thing every year at this time. I don’t know why. I feel helpless, lifeless, alone, tired. It’s a terrible cycle. I feel like life is just passing me by. That I am a burden to others. I am completely alone.
I have friends, I am quite popular in town and know people everywhere I go. I have a good relationship with my father. I love my job. But it all seems so hallow. I am really empty …

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0

Here it goes again.

  February 9th, 2009 by bellodisastro

Okay.
First off,I guess I’ll just explain my backstory,so you can see how I got to this point.

I was born in Texas,in 1994.When I was six months old,I was adopted by my grandparents,because my real parents never wanted a kid.
I grew up as a normal kid,until I was almost 8.
That’s when my adoptive dad,(my grandpa),died.
At first,it didn’t really sink in.
It took almost three years for me to realize he was really dead.
That was the first time I tried to commit suicide.
It obviously didn’t work,and I’m still trying to decide if that’s a good thing.
I decided to tell my mom,and she automatically put me in therapy.To her …

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0

THE HURT IS TOO MUCH

  February 9th, 2009 by PATRICIA MARSHALL

REJECTION FROM YOUR LEGAL FAMILY IS HURTFUL. REJECTION FROM YOUR ADOPTIVE FAMILY IS EVEN WORSE. REJECTION FROM YOUR CHILDREN IS THE MOST HURTFUL THING IN THE WORLD. REJECTION FOR MONEY AND REJECTION BECAUSE OF BEING THREATENED AND BECAUSE ITS TOUGH LOVE.
TOUGH LOVE CAUSES MORE HURT AND PAIN AND I HAVE BEEN TOUGH LOVED TO DEATH. THAT MESS WENT OUT IN THE 70’S WHEN A MASS SUICIDE WAS DISCOVERED AT A TOUGH LOVE COMMUNE RAN BY SUSAN PALMONDO. SHE SELLS INSURANCE TO YOUR FAMILY. SHE CONVINCED PEOPLE THAT THEIR FAMILIES DID NOT LOVE THEM DIDN’T WANT THEM AND THIS IS WHAT SHE AND HER FAMILY …

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1

My Story

  February 9th, 2009 by Mari

So I am about to share my entire story. Something I have never been able to do. I’m hoping it will give me some relief, I guess you could say.
So I’ll start where it all began.

At the age of five I was molested by a family member. That was when all my depression started. Growing up I was a big Daddy’s Girl. So it would kill me when my parents would fight. I grow up with my mother saying horrible things about my father. In 1998, my dad had a work related accident. He fell 3 stories from a pillar. From then on until 2005 …

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