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7

I think I’m gonna kill myself… what a scandal if I died

  April 18th, 2009 by Kez

I’m 23, gay male and miserable a good deal of the time. I feel like I have no right to be so unhappy when I have so much going for me, but rather than feel guilty, I feel like, it’s not fare. Why would someone, God, Fate, Karma, whatever, give me so much to enjoy and so little capacity to enjoy it. I walked home alone tonight from a big drag show where everyone was having a good time. On the way out the door, I cheerily said goodbye to five friends, two of my therapists and the boy I’m in love with, who only [...]
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3

Gone

  April 17th, 2009 by mickey-12-2015

I am only 12. at age 12 my brothers freind at age 18 tryed to rape me. His name is Bidy and right know i am scared to even have a boyfreind. many times i have held a razor blade to my wrist. two cuts and it would all be over. Their is a s on my leg that will be there for forever. The S stands for my best freind first letter in her name Sammy. oh god i love that girl she is like my sister. I have started middle school, and am in track. i cut and cut and cut but it [...]
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3

ultimate death

  April 16th, 2009 by taylor_price

i hate life..everything is going wrong. i really want to die. i have lost everyone important to me..school sucks..home life..it isn’t even home. i wish i could just slit my rises. but my girlfriend spitt in my left eye.it burned. i mad sum, bade choses.my mother calls me bad names.I hear my step dad talk about me behind my back to my own mom.My ex gurlfrend used me for sex.she told me she loved me only for my booty.she called me pathetic and that if i wanted to kill myself i should go ahead and get it over with.that she never wanted to see my jew [...]
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4

everything to nothing

  April 15th, 2009 by tess

today i was in that mood. the one thats haunted me for 5 years, the mood where jumping off a tall building feels like a good idea. i mean, i’ve been given every advantage. as far as skin color goes, i am not a minority, therefore not having to deal with racism. i do not have to deal with divorce in my family. i am not abused. my family doesn’t have to worry about money. i was born healthy, smart. a bright, successful future is all that is pictured for me. and in 16 short years, i managed to screw that up. i am too [...]
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3

back stabbers

  April 15th, 2009 by slumber33

i woke up from a dram this morning about my 2 ex best m8’s, about 50 of us were playing tag and i was it and we were on all these rocks and i went into a cave and i saw my 2 ex best m8’s cuddling together in a corner warching out for who evers it and i went over to them and i taged one of them then she taged the other then she tagged me and then me and my and my ex best friend were having a slaping fight,  we used to be really close but then she turned and stabbed [...]
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3

am i turning into what i hate

  April 14th, 2009 by slumber33

whats made me what i am are bullies i hate them they have ruined my life completely but reasently i’v bin realising that i’v bin making harsh coments about people that havent done anything to offend me and i’m scared i might be turning into the people that fucked my life up in the first place


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15

Nothing complicated here

  April 14th, 2009 by Clockwork

Since this passed January, I am 30 years old.

I have never dated, never kissed a woman, and (obviously) never had sex.

The enormity of what it would take to reverse my current mindset to help alleviate some of the above issues…is a hill I don’t try climbing any more; I’m too far behind at this point. On the good days I push my resignation to the back of my mind, and it just sits there in acceptance. On the bad days, all thoughts of “what could have been”, the sense of loss, crash home and it’s only for lack of having easy [...]
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2

i’m loosing it

  April 13th, 2009 by slumber33

i’m so scared i’ crying for no reason i cried earlier but i dont know why all that happened was my step dad said he wanted to slap me because i was talking to my mum in a way that he didnt like, i used to like him i wanted him to adopt me but he’d jut turning out to be a wanker, i keep dreaming that i’m falling from great hights and i wake up screaming i hear voices in my hed and i’v finally realised nobody exept my family waants me here and nobody in my family understand what i’m going through even [...]
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3

no friends wiv just a glimpse of hope

  April 13th, 2009 by slumber33

i dont have many friends, i have a few friends that i talk to at school but i cant really rely on them, theirs only 2 friend in my life that i can acctually talk to about things and trust they wont tell any one, but i only see one of them at school and the other 1 dont see i just talk to her on msn now and again but thats it and her life is fucked up her step dad kicked her out theirs no room at her mums so she’s staying at her sisters but her sister only lets her stay their if she luks [...]
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5

Beginning of the end or End of the beginning?

  April 13th, 2009 by mla_731

My suicidal struggle story started when I was just a kid. My mom, a single mother of two kids, and my brother, a young man ripped from his childhood by a drug addiction that started before he was 15, both struggled with mental health issues. When I was a little girl, I used to lay in bed and pray that God would let me sleep forever and never have to wake up. Even at such a young age, I knew that my journey through life would not be an easy one.

Coming into my teenage years, I was overcome with demons left from years of physical [...]
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2

whats the point?

  April 12th, 2009 by steph x

at 16 years old im suppost to be having fun going to parties and enjoying my life, right? im suppost to have encouraging friends, look up to my sister? well how come that doesnt work. im pretty experienced in my life, and iv done and been through a lot. this year has been a bit compact for me. it started with my close to 2 year relationship ending abruptly as he used me for sex and told me he loved me and would never hurt me, but 10 hours later i became the ex. i took that pretty hard. then one of my really good [...]
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5

so many secrets that are ripping me apart

  April 12th, 2009 by slumber33

i have loads of secrets like i’v bin bi since i wat 9 (i’m 12 now)
i’v smoked since i was 10
i got raped when i was 6 by my mums drug dealer (apparently she’s off drugs now but i have a feeling she’s still on weed)
my dad made my suck him off every morning untill he left for gud when i was 5


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2

no promises

  April 12th, 2009 by slumber33

im having a really hard time at school and at home at school i’m getting seriously bullied and i’v been punched twice for nothing at all and i keep getting threatened and i’m just so scared. at home i’m geting underestimated everone thinks i’m so stupid, that i’m no right in the head and to be honest right now i dont think i am. one night i sat with my legs dangling out my window thinking should i jump head first or not but then i thought of my mum and all my family and i didnt want them to go through pain of greef, [...]
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1

Upside Down Life with a Touch of Hope

  April 12th, 2009 by upsidedownlife

We always believe it we have it so bad. If we didn’t, none of us would be here writing our stories that are filled with anger and pain. I suppose I am bitter. Bitter with everyone I trusted that I know can not stand but have no escape from.

I would like to believe I am a good person who is a useful community member. As it stands I find this very hard to believe. And like everyone else …. I don’t know why. I can not understand my thought process let alone why everything is upside down and twisted around in my life.

At 11 years [...]
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2

No matter what you do

  April 10th, 2009 by Zeus

i have written this message over 30 times, deleted it and rewritten it all over again…

Perhaps this is a motherfucking therapy on its own…

Life is short, we only live once, but this life sucks. Are we gonna do something about it or let us get fucked by any ***** around?

You know what, I was so determined to kill myself… but before that i wanted to give it a go.

YES, make the most amazing robbery of the century, or simply go to South America or to one of these African villages and live with the locals there, forgotten by the fucking civilization. It is possible, some people [...]
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3

I feel lost about life

  April 10th, 2009 by lostegrstudent

I am a college student majoring in engineering who is about to graduate in May.  I have been feeling very suicidal recently because I just got rejected from two different jobs on the same day.  I have been applying to jobs since August and have been a few interviews, but then have been rejected.  I felt that these past two jobs that I interviewed for were kinda the last “straw” in terms of getting a job before graduation. I feel like a failure and I am not sure where to go from here.  I feel pressure from everyone who expects me to get a job [...]
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4

stuped teachers

  April 9th, 2009 by trying to recover

im in 9th grade and theis friday we ware having a talent show. well get this. i was just in practes and we war 1 mesure (4 beets) off and we got kiked out becaus the ***** hates me and my friend! we had woked for about 3 months on a song calld bring me to life by evenecenc. three bloody months! the ***** oferd us our $10 back….how dous that compensate for time wasted i cold have ben working on my web page or sompthing i even made a fuking efort to stop cutting my self so i woldent freek out the liddel kids [...]
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5

Losing touch and scared

  April 9th, 2009 by littlebluesuns

I think I am suicidal.  I’m not really sure, because I’m not sure of anything anymore.  I don’t want to hurt myself or be in pain or punish myself.  I just don’t want to feel like this anymore.  It is getting increasingly unbearable, and I don’t know what to do.

I was almost murdered in October by gun violence (it was a very close call), and I have since been diagnosed with depression and PTSD.  I have never been a depressed person in my life, ever.  I just read on a website I found that PTSD can cause suicidal feelings, and I do feel a tiny [...]
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2

Sick of being the fuckup

  April 9th, 2009 by sickofbeingtired

ugh, i’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I am a 21 year old male that just can’t do anything right.  In college, i just continually messup in class because I am too depressed to get up of of bed and go to class.  I just don’t want to do anything… i just want to lay in bed and just wait for everything to pass over.  Besides having a long history of depression and going to counciling, I am on probation for a DUI.  I know i fucked up and i beat myself up for knowing that i shouldn’t have done that.  the [...]
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6

idk

  April 9th, 2009 by helper

I have a big problem telling fantasy from reality. And no i don’t there are like fairy puff princesses everywhere. i just had a really horrible friend that she ended up using me, and so it was fake but all the while i thought we were truly friends. That was one of many things that has lead me into deep depression, i cut, burn, and think about killing myself… there’s a lot more to the story, but i cannot go there, because i cannot come to terms with the past… i am fifteen the only boyfriend i have ever had dumped me because it was [...]
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