I was reading a book for the first time in like 6 months, yet I’m in sophomore year in high school. It’s called happyface, plot is a nerdy boy and his parents leave each other and leaves everything behind and he makes new friends and is happy. I got more than halfway through and hes at his depressed point, his girlfriend cheated on him with his older bro and his bro died driving drunk and his girlfriend was in the car… She survived, but she wanted to talk to him and he says (while drunk) he hates her because he loves her so much… Makes […]
The Marine Corps guys came today, the highlight of my day. The were wearing black vests with a white line round the waist, golden buttons and blue pants, with red stripe. I like the army camouflage better, but whatever. I wanted to get a prize for the pull up test, but I don’t got the balls to do it or the strength. I decided to watch them instead, and so far only one person got a shirt (20 pull ups). I probably could do like 3, maybe 5 if a miracle happens (you get something for your keys, not ecactly a keychain). But there’s no […]
I have known for sometime meaning many a years being I am 53 That ending my own life is my option and have had a few blundered attemts. 2006 being my last real event of doing so from a suffocation chamber I made on my own but ended up strapped to a gurnie and hauled away to a hospital.
From another post a few days ago I mentioned my plans to want to get things in order in the next few months, such as getting a will to make certain my remains are to be used for organ donations & the left overs to whatever sciences want them. […]
So much pain, still. effective coping? what coping? I am existing. There is nothing wrong with my life except I can’t seem to let anyone near me. I am afraid they won’t want to be near me, so I avoid making it an option.
I guess I am currently thinking about suicide, and I think  I am  probably going to. Here are my choices of how:
Pills. OD. I have two bottles of sleeping pills next to my bed just waiting for me.
Hanging. I could easily hang myself on the tree in our backyard.
Blood loss. I could cut so much I could loss enough blood to finally get out of this.
Gun shot. My dad owns quite a few guns, I know how to use all.
I cut quite often. Never on my wrists, my family could easily find out. I have serve depression, bi polar, and major anger issues. I guess I’m on here to tell my […]
I don’t look at scars like scars.
I look at them like accessories, that I’m too afraid to show off.
Afraid of the responses I will get.
is that i make people laugh.
to help people get over there pain.
see people have a good time.
and over all have fun and be silly.
that all might end soon i am going on medication today or tomorrow i am not sure witch its for my anxiety and depression
Mother, you have your stresses
you share them with me
but my stresses stay inside
Father, you are miserable
and let anyone with ears know
my misery stays quietly in my heart
Brother, you are thoroughly disappointed
and make it well known
my disappointments silently weigh down on me
Sister, you weep out your sorrows
while I listen gently
my tears are silent and unseen
It appears that I’m alright
I’m holding it all together
well adjusted and quite content
Sometimes I try
try to open up
never really comes out
can’t tell anyone I’m dying
Mom you know I’m stressed
its okay though
you tell me the […]
hey guys hows everyone hear
Not sure what I’m doing here. Last Saturday I decided that it was time. After many years of living with the urge to take my own life and just as many years trying to find happiness, I’ve surrendered. If I haven’t managed to find a way to be happy by now, not likely that I will in the future and well…..I’m tired of it…..I actually felt serene. Yesterday I procured myself 2 g of KCN. Â Â I feel compelled to get my things in order first. Write up a will, pay bills, cancel cards and its may seem silly but clean my apartment and go through […]
Im i enjoying it (Life) No. Shit i have not been enjoy in it in year’s
So that’s that. Selfish. I konw. Why do i still fined it hard to exit cause the world not so bad. Ok i sound selfish i dont mined working hard. of anything. Just been isolated is boring lost all motivation to do any thing just get pissed. Runing out of money
soon. with in like four or five week’s. Ive got my kit all i need to exit. My life bullshit so im out of here. Took a lot of time think it
out.This the right move for me. […]
hmmm, I’m actually finding it harder and harder to remember what I’ve done during these days. I know I wake up, I know I at least eat something, today I know I went to BF’s work to recharge my computers, and use his phone for internet access, woot. I should recharge my emergency phone sometime soon. I did have “chicken in a box” when we had returned, later than expected, ate around 5ish to about 5:30ish. I also helped BF with some XSU stuffs, mostly cutting out letters from poster boards. He put on “1000 ways to die” on the comp, and we watch the […]
This is my first and possibly last post. I actually stumbled on to this site not because of suicide, but rather because I’m trying to figure out how to get rid of other self-destructive habits. I bite my nails, scratch at my body and face, and this isn’t even the full extent of it. I was suicidal for a long time for various reasons, and I’m only now coming to realize that even if I get a long pretty well in the world, I still have scars to hide. There are still things that make me cry uncontrollably, but it’s ultimately the most calming thing […]
Hi…
I’m new to this site. I guess the two main reasons that I joined are that I wanted to see what my morbidity looked like splashed across a computer screen and the other to read and share with others who obviously feel as hopeless and lost as I do.
I’m a 26 year old woman who has ‘suffered’ with borderline personality disorder, had the misfortune of  being both naturally sensitive and aggressive, been through a lot in general and dealt with rapid cycling manic depression for nearly 20 years. I don’t think I am a bad person – I am just very messed up. My heart […]
Yeah me neither. So for those of you who don’t know I play in a couple jazz bands at school, I play bass, and that is something that I love doing. I was later diagnosed with tendinitis in my wrist and fingers because of bass playing and it can be quite painful sometimes but has never really slowed me down. More recently I was diagnosed with Tinnitus, noise induced hearing loss, it’s because of our drummer who plays extremely and unessacerely loud, I stand beside him for 1-2 hours each day. We have told him to shut up numerous times and to not play when […]
Is there an admin on this site, or anyone that can be contacted to report people who abuse the posts, and what not? I mean, there are just some people that just shouldn’t be on here, and furthermore, those stupid ads… just so dumb.
Believe it or not.. Im a 12 year old girl.. Yeah. I really hate life.. So i think I should share my story with everyone..
While I was growing up, I always thought my life was perfect.. But as I got older, i started to see things a new way.. I had NEVER EVER gotten abused by my parents.. They both loved me very much.. And then came along my little brother! Anyways, as the years passed, bills were not being payed, mom started to smoke, things not being told, dad leaving, almost getting evicted from our house.. Ive always been told to look […]
Jack The Ripper is an unsolved case, along with one of the suspect Carl Feigenbaum, a merchant sailor already electrocuted in 1896 New York for his crime caught in America, the truth of the confirmed Ripper seems to be forever buried, as many unsolved cases of crime or as in life.
Only if one searches for the truth, will one find that the places he frequented as in Germany, America and London, those mutilated murdered victims happened there were all left with signatures the same with a cross sliced on the flesh as the one he mutilated in America, and that matched The Ripper Cases in […]