I live my everyday with a six year old who tells me she hates me, that I disgust her and tells me how to run the household. Sounds pretty normal for dysfunction aside from the spitting, kicking, biting, screaming and rage she throws along with it. You think she sounds defiant well that doesn’t even skim the surface, this has been going on for years and I’m exhausted and just tapped out. I promised myself I would never scream at my child or spank her because I had that from my father growing up and it had lasting effects. Nothing works with […]
I am depressed and sad and I’ve tried everything, and I don’t think I can go on. I have tried meds, therapy, doctors, yoga, everything. i get thirty seconds of peace each morning immediately after I wake.Â Then it’s like someone turns on the radio in my head and it’s a constant rant of hopelessness and hurt.Â
One of the frustrating parts is hardly anybody knows the truth, andÂ I have nobody to talk to.Â My dad was aÂ world champion sales repÂ because heÂ was a true expert in how to make people feel goodÂ and feel comfortable.Â He was born withÂ the touch.Â I learned it from him.Â I am also an expert at […]
I’ve been trying hard to find a good reason that I should live.Â But, sadly, I couldn’t find one.Â I don’t wanna make things too complicated, after all, life is smiple.Â But, what’s a point if IÂ am not happy?Â Â I’ve been suffering from depression for more than 8 years.Â Nothing can cure me.Â I can cry several times a day, 7 days a week.Â My crying makes me so tired, but I just can’t help it.Â I’ve got no family, no friends,Â I tried to force myself to talk to others, but I hate it,Â I’m not confortable with it.Â I don’t wanna talk to anyone, and […]
To start off, i’ve had a history of mental disorders and depression issues for countless years of my life, but never thought of committing suicide. My grandmother committed suicide before i was born, and i saw how it effected my mother, and my grandfather, and never ever wanted to do that to someone else. No matter how bad it got, i stuck in there.
On December 7, 2007, My best friend committed suicide. I wasn’t aware of any deep trauma or depression in her, so of course, it came as a total shock. I can still remember where i was, what i was doing, and […]
this is to hard . why make it so difficult
razors pain you ,rivers are damp, acids stain you ,drugs cause cramps ,guns arnt lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful ,you might as well LIVE .Â Â Â Â ThatsÂ what i tell myself . the suffering makes us stronger . sometimes nothing can make it better. GOD sees whats been done to us . He saves our tears in heaven. there are things that we are not to understand . try as we might. quiet cool breeze . the sun on our skin. the glistening of the morning dew. the smile of a child. the clouds in the sky . makes the pain go drifting by .dwell […]
i donâ€™t have too much to say but iâ€™ll start off by mentioning that this post isnâ€™t at all for myself.
there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here donâ€™t really receive help.
the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God.Â so basically what iâ€™m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life and yourself better, you need Him, and you need Him more than just an hour a week.
if youâ€™d like to talk about Him or […]
Im only 16 but things are already at an extreme low. It started when my parents unexpectedly divorced when i was ten. my dad left, we had to move out because my mom couldnt afford the rent, I was inbetween my parents who would tell me each others deep dark secrets about the other parent to make me think worse of them. My dad told me my mum was a slut and that he didnt even no if i was his. I couldnt look at her the same and moved in with my dad for a year.Â My dad got depressed and got married to an […]
i’ve spent alot of years thinking about this, a couple times trying it, and now i’m ready to get serious! but i want to make sure it actually works. waking up in the hospital with all the fam damily around balling their eyes out is no longer an option. what about a syringe full of bleach? any other suggestions? what can i find around the house to inject and get this taken care of? wish i could just get ahold of some heroin. i know how to make that work………..
I don’t know why I came to this website, other than to get all of my suicidal thoughts out.Â I have struggled with depression for a while, but lately I have felt more suicidal than depressed. I’m going to the local community college in my town. I can’t put this into words right now. Every day I’m there I feel these intense feelings come over me. I feel alone. I know I am alone, even though there are plenty of people around me. The sunshine doesn’t make me happy at all. In fact, it makes me angry and upset because the heat is so unbearable. I’m […]
a serge to connect rushes through me
a time bomb with no clock showing
chains holding me down
my lips locked together
my heart trying to jump away from me too
my hand just out of reach for a loaded gun
out of reach like everything else in life
leave me with the waste
itâ€™s the wrong time to be so cruel
iâ€™ll just die here slowly
itâ€™s ok though because i canâ€™t eat anything
too weakÂ to struggling anymore
let me die hereÂ slowely like i always thought i would
leave me with more of nothing
Im crying while im writing this, i dont value my life anymore, nobody likes me i feel all alone by myself and even if i try i always fail at everything, i’ve heard that im horrible and stupid and all kinds of bad things that you can imagine, i just have one single true friend and a couple more that i just feel that i cant trust, i never had a girlfriend neither i kissed anyone, i feel like im too young for suicide but i just cant take it anymore, i feel like an empty in my heart, that theres a growing pain inside […]
I don’t really believe my story is one of suicide. It’s more a story of depression, if it’s even that. I don’t really know what I feel most of the time, and I tend to revert to sadness. Often I find myself pondering reasons I have to be sad.
I have never been beaten by my parents, never been horribly embarrased by my peers, I have friends who I hang out with consistently, I have a good job, I am a smart young man, I have tutors in life, I have good health. So really there is no reason to be sad, right?
If that is true […]
I’ve had it with life. I’ve tried and tried to make it work but time and time again, it’s failed me. It’s taken me almost 6 years to graduate college, I have A.d.d, I have a father whom is almost never around and when he is, he’s nothing more than an arrogant asshole. He thinks he can just buy my affection because he’s an executive. Well he’s wrong. My mother suffers from a severe anxiety disorder and is constantly taking it out on me and my sisters. I am broke with no job, no girlfriend. My 17yr old sister has more money than I do […]
just can’t take this pain, just want it to be over , just wish I could find the cojones to do it.Â just can’t stop crying just can’t sleep just don’t wnat to leave my house, just so filled with self loathing, just so damn pathetic
This will be my first post here. Hello.
A couple years ago I attempted to overdose on sleeping pills.Â I was on anti-depressants that I had been taking irregularly because I had just moved into a new, very tiny, apartment with my new girlfriend.Â We had been together for a little under a year.Â In addition to anti-depressants I had some perscription sleep meds, and one night after weeks and weeks of worsening depression, I decided I would take them all.
I sat on the bathroom floor for an hour, and just stared at the walls.Â After that I went outside and stared at the sky for […]
I know I’m going to end up doing it one day. I always find a reason to wait, seems the longer I wait the more crazy I become. I feel completely fucked in the head. Always having internal battles with myself. Feeling so happy and normal one day to going into a comatose state the next day. If anything I wish I could just be numb.neutral.
Anything but crazy.
I met my man bout 9 years ago in an online game,i visited him a few months after and it was love at first sight. We been happy as humanly possible for 8 years,we was 1,never fought never argued,we were so close. Till he told me on aug 6 2008 ,outta da blue, he was gonna go back to UK,alone. Everyone around us were jealous of our relationship it was that good. I begged him to why, took him some days to say anything and he just said i love you but it aint enough. Them last 10 days he was with me i could […]
I was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago. I went through the chemotherepy, and i stopped responding to treatments. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I didn’t wanna go through anything like that anymore. The doctors started me out on a new experimental medication, and i was on that for 3 months. Turns out, the medicine didnt help me at all, it actually sped up the spreading of my cancer, and now, i only have like a month left.
Everything is going downhill for me, and I have nothing to live for. I want to die so bad, I hate the pain im […]
i dont know why but i feel like my world is crashing. my days started to brighten until a few days ago for some reason. The only person that i can talk to about it is my boyfriend. whenever i have the urge i can talk to him and he’ll talk me through it and make me feel better,but now hes gonna be gone for a week because his mom isÂ going to California. I have tried taking an overdose before and it never worked,and my boyfriend helped me quit that,and is trying to help me stop cutting,but it has been a slow process. it […]