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2

Same shit, same roller-coaster

  December 5th, 2018 by Lostlullaby

It’s been 4 years that I wasn’t in a mental institution, I m not hospitalized yet but I know where it is going. I ve been through this it wasn’t the same doctors or nurses or whatever but they are kind of all the same really. No doubt their intentions are good but they see depressed people in only one way on a fucking scale described by the DSM. Don’t get me wrong I wanna get better. Today I woke up suicidal, then ultra motivated, then euphoric, then suicidal again, then paranoid then cynical. And that’s just my average day. I know I’m clinically depressed …

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2

  December 5th, 2018 by ravingbean

Why am I afraid to die?  The end is probably beautiful. Even more so if you embrace it. But still, I fear the unknown and I choose to be miserable.

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1

empty

  December 5th, 2018 by ShermanDog

I think I’m going to die soon. I don’t care about anything anymore. Not even my relationship or closest friends seem to have the impact it used to. I still love them but i think it would be better if i were gone.

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6

Hopeless

  December 4th, 2018 by Black Holez

I feel so hopeless and in despair all the time. Whenever I see people being with friends or in a group, I then have thoughts of self-pity and feeling of emptiness knowing I could never have those friends back, especially now they are attacking me and being against me. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone and lonely. What’s the point? The social isolation is killing me.

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0

Committing and Some Tone to Find

  December 4th, 2018 by Cause of Death: Suicide

I am at the stage where after years & years & years of preparation I am ready to commit.. now it just feels like I don’t want to rush it.. like maybe there’s something I will enjoy so much that can lead me out of the world on a beautiful page or maybe an intellectual page..

I try to structure my life around this last day, yet I am always bending to someone else’s sadistic desires with goals of what exactly? To leave me miserable?

I guess this is strange for me because I feel so unhappy.. I should be “in a fuzz” about it. I’ve always …

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2

Fuck You Insomnia 

  December 4th, 2018 by Nike66

I have had horrible crippling insomnia for almost a year now to the point where i couldn’t function in life go to school work or do day to day activates. Then i was prescribed benzos thay worked for a bit but now after 3 moths of heavy benzo use i am addicted and have an insane tolorence i am trying to taper off but the withdrawal is hell dizziness, anxiety, sweating, muscle spasms, heart palpitations and worst of all seizures. i feel like an idiot i feel like i am going insane.

hope everyone else is having a good day or night but if your on …

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5

Good Bye.

  December 4th, 2018 by AKidWithAName

I have no excuse to stay alive anymore.  I’ve lost the one person who meant something to me.  I don’t have anyone else to fall back on.  It’s my own fault for allowing myself to believe that I would actually get better.  I can’t feel anything anymore.  Everything is more fucked than usual.  There’s no reason for me to put off doing it anymore.  I think this might be a good bye.  I wish the best for everyone.

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0

Life goes on

  December 4th, 2018 by Clayton Michaels

I have less than two month to move out.  Evicted.  I have a crazy neighbor that’s been bullying me for years, I finally went off the deep end.  I’m lucky I haven’t been arrested, but I’m definitely kicked out of the building.

Got news today that my grandmother on father’s side passed away.  I was never that close to my father’s side of the family. or my father, but we’ve been trying to reconnect.  I remember she used to give me christmas ornaments every year when I was a kid.  They were pretty cool.

My emotions are scattered.  One minute I feel up to the challenge, the …

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3

dont know why

  December 4th, 2018 by jr.

i really dont know why little things to stress me out. im going to be dead in about a month from now but i still allow things to get to me for the strangest reasons. i should really learn now to let go and be free in these last days i have 😛

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6

  December 4th, 2018 by HauntedDoritos

I remember a month ago I said that I haven’t felt that bad in quite a while.

Now it’s only worse.

It’s strange how time passes by and you don’t even notice you’re not really okay…

 

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3

I’m here, if you need someone.

  December 4th, 2018 by kbking6

I joined this form years ago now.

I made many friends, some that are still here and other unfortunately who I have lost touch with.

I came a long way in life, if not for this place where I felt people understood me and people I could relate to, I’m not sure where I would be .

If anyone is looking for someone to vent to, or someone just to try and understand how they feel, or just lonely and need a chat and someone to listen –  Please Remember you are never alone and things do/will change.

If anyone needs a friend, please message me or email me …

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1

PTSD or Bad dreams? Going in circles…

  December 4th, 2018 by WaterWorks

I’m having flashbacks in my dreams again. I’m living the dark days of my childhood again. I’m wondering if I’ve really forgiven them again. I’m thinking about dying again. I’m hating the stupid fire alarm going off every 3 mins again. I’m posting on suicideproject again. I’m planning on running away again. I’m a 20 year old mess again. I’m praying again. I’m hating stupid people who keep telling me to fit into their schedule again. I’m thinking “I’m 20 I don’t have to put up with this crap” again. I’m thinking about my sisters again. I’m thinking about dying…. again.

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1

Lie

  December 4th, 2018 by Lie

Sometimes I just wonder how my life would have been if I would have been the love of his life… Still der would be empty night with him sitting so close to me and yet I am so lonely.

He needs space in the morning, in the evening and at night. Looks like he need me less and more space. He says it’s a good relationship but I wonder coz it’s not that good for me. I was look ing out for conversations and the cuddling but this is something which I see that life has to offer.

May be i am person with a lot of …

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1

What’s the point

  December 4th, 2018 by Dkell92

I’m so lonely. There’s no chance of me being happy so why should I force myself to live? I think it’d be better to just end it

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2

..

  December 4th, 2018 by awave

all i know is pain, no matter how hard I try i will never be able to accomplish anything due to my limitations.

i’m different; it’s what sets me apart from everyone else; is this not reason enough to want to be alone?

 

 

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6

No Reasons

  December 3rd, 2018 by Teresa's Child

This is a pretty old, standard gripe that most people on this site have, but I have it too so I’ll post about it anyway. My list of reasons to live is small at best, perhaps even nonexistent.

I have no aim, no prospects, no hopes, no dreams, no desires. I’m a misanthrope, worthless, stupid, weak, and an overall waste of space.

Everything has passed me by, and I am left behind without a place in the world. Nothing interests me. I have no motivation. Every morning, I pray to die.

I cannot connect to my surroundings, everyone and everything seems like an illusion. People’s concerns, people’s life …

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3

Perfection, my fatal flaw

  December 3rd, 2018 by heartlessviking

This article came up while I was at work today:

https://www.thisisinsider.com/perfectionism-definition-depression-anxiety-mental-health-2018-11?utm_source=quora&utm_medium=referral

To say I reacted poorly is an understatement. I’m still mad about it. It would appear that striving for perfection is generational, and I’m not the only one who is actively fighting mental illness because of it. What does anyone expect? My parents and their fucking generation destroyed all that was good and sustaining in our economy. They traded in pensions for 401ks, healthcare for higher salaries and let the wealthy enjoy limitless growth while the rest of us get peanuts.

What are we supposed to do? There are many who just want to fucking say “That’s …

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2

I gave up on life and survived

  December 3rd, 2018 by Keikos Daughter

It is difficult to share my battle so I am sharing my testimony or should I say a piece of my testimony that I had posted on a blog. I know some will read and judge me, I will have to live with that. I am sharing to help the one who is at the end of their rope and all hope is lost. I pray that if you are the one this helps you.

Testimony / I gave up on life and survived

This is one of the most difficult thing I have to share with the world. I am not seeking your pity

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6

I’m ruined

  December 3rd, 2018 by ebullientballoon

I’m useless, I’ve been spoiled by material comfort.

I’m hopeless, I have been ruined by trauma.

Being raped, beaten, humiliated, kept in the closet for years of fear.  Tortured in every moment by my own thoughts; my brain is against me.  I’m tired of living in it.

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13

  December 3rd, 2018 by Hope Dream Love

When i first started thinking about suicide i told myself id never go on prescriptions. Id never “fake happy” yet here i am at a crossroad. I take one path go on the drugs and maybe just maybe ill be ok. Or i can take the other. Living in hell. Slowly destroying myself with each thought until i finally say enough is enough and end it all. The answer should be obvious. I should just take the drugs and shut up but…its more difficult then that.

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