i need help but nobody is listening..when they will listen to me? they will listen if im gone right?
another angel passed away ?? i love you..are you happy now?
Depression isn’t leaving. It always gets back. I managed to get rid of anxiety, that doesn’t matter. The world is still a dull, empty dark grey place. I know I will die without having done anything for mankind and honestly, I don’t fucking care.
Stop thinking. Come, I’ll give you a hug and we’ll sit next to the railway watching the night sky together. You don’t need to think. Just relax and watch the train pass by.
Please no more.
I have had enough. I know I am just going to wake up tomorrow again and go through this whole routine once more. What must I do to make it stop? There is nothing in me anymore. Please let me be done. I can’t take it anymore. Please.
I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression when I was 11 years old. Yes, 11. When I look back on my life, I realize that at that point, I didn’t have the same adolescent years as everyone else. I wasn’t a carefree kid anymore, I was an adult in a child’s body. When my first panic attack happened, I thought I was dying, that this was the end. In 6th grade, I lost over 20 lbs. I started at 90 lbs, and was nearly skin and bones by the time I figured out how to cope with what was happening to me. I was […]
i don’t know what to do anymore, so, i met this friend of mine last semester of my senior year. somehow we became close very close, however, she had to go forever to another country. we stayed in touch and we kept on talking every single day. she is now my best best friend, the best one i have ever had. At even sometimes thought i liked her even more but it’s not m topic. we both had our shit and every time we are there for each other she’d comfort me and calm me and id do the same for her. it’s been two […]
everything i read points to both 🙁
I miss having good people to talk to.
I’m not suicidal.
I’m still going through hard times and would be nice to make a new friend.
I miss some of the friends I’ve made here years ago. They were always the most understanding.
My mind is like a maze.
Trying to think positive, but always go to the negatives.
I need to escape this pain, this hurt, these thoughts.
I’m in class, then boom…
It hits me, all of a sudden I want to die.
At night my thoughts races, for seconds, minutes, and hours.
They don’t stop until midnight.
Six hours until you have to wake up, yet you still can’t fall asleep.
You wake up to your alarm, wondering how you even fell asleep with your mind so active at night.
You then have to go to school just to do it all over again.
When will my mind stop?
Please let me die.
Please let me die.
Please let me die.
Every single night for nearly a decade now.
I met someone recently. A wallflower.
She’s smart, and sweet, and easy to talk to. She’s shallow, materialistic, and entitled. An adult who has never faced hardship in her entire life. Through my interactions with her, I realized that many humans do not cause suffering on their own. They cause suffering because they are cowards, too scared to disobey the law, or social structure, too scared to put others before themselves. Scared for their family. Scared for themselves. Fear. It causes people to follow the corrupt, to give up on themselves. Without understanding pain, they lose the ability to empathize and become animals that live for […]
Everyone says …
”you’re not trying hard enough.”
”you want attention.”
”you want a reaction.”
”you don’t really want to die.”
But, no one knows what goes on in my mind. No one knows anything about me, they all just assume. They assume I can get better, but when you have this thing inside of you telling you that you should just die, it gets hard to even get yourself to try things to get better. I have tried many things. Went to therapy for a year and a half about, and come to find out my therapist told me she could do anything else for me. I’ve been in […]
there is great comfort in knowing that in less time than it takes to inhale a breath of polluted human air, it can all just end.
there is comfort here.
“one thousand one, one thou. . . ”
“here, there is no moon.”
It followed me everywhere.
When I woke up
When I ate
When I showered
When I studied
When I slept
A shadow replicated by me
A shadow of pain…
It followed me every single second of my life
Now it disappeared
Now everything felt like nothing
Now the shadow became a vast of nothingness. Thats exactly how I feel right now.
Im going to share a case that happened. I cant believe it really happened, I dont know how it can happen in reality. This was news, I dont know the exact details. A mother with mental health issues fed her child for 21 years with milk and biscuits and the child remained retarded with the mind and body of a seven year old. Can you believe it? How come no one noticed or intervine for all those years and let it happen?
I grew up in poverty. I was molested at the age of 8 which made me feel like all I was as a child was a target for bullies. I was invisible until someone wanted to bully me; tease me. I was raised by a single mom who neglected me (and my siblings). There were times when we didn’t even have food. I had 3 younger siblings that I was pretty much left in charge of. When my dad was in my life (he abused drugs) and at times was abusive towards us kids, including verbally. We were all in foster homes at one point […]
Too much loneliness and isolation in my life. I don’t like this place I live in, the people. I don’t know where should I go or what to do to live a better life.
How to escape when im the problem
I cant stand it. I just cannot take this life much longer. The things I am dealing with are not going to go away. It will be with me for life. I cant imagine 40+ more years of this. Its not possible to erase the past. Its too late. Why cant I leave. I need this life to end.
bad news: got fired from work today
good news: have everything I need to end this nightmare