To share your story here, just register for free, then choose "Posts > Add New" from the menu options.
Make sure you hit the "Publish" button to publish your entry. If you already have an account here, login now.

8

My mum says I’m useless

  February 10th, 2019 by sugarcoated

I have graduated high school and I am starting university soon. And I managed to keep my job, despite being told I would be fired at the end of January.

No matter what I accomplish, education and employment, the two important things my mum has been bugging me about my whole life, I’m still useless.

I was actually happy for once since the worst year of my life last year, but every time I do something that I, myself, am proud of, like getting accepted into university, I get nothing but a “good job” then it’s back to the insults of how “useless” I am and how I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
11

Lol i’m sick…

  February 9th, 2019 by princessmousy<:3)~

Not suicide related

Why is the female form so beautiful… why do I imagine seeing women naked everyday… pools should be clothing optional here xD

Processing your request, Please wait....
10

an apology

  February 9th, 2019 by spookichick

hi!

i would like to apologize to any of you wonderful people on SP that i have offended or hurt in any way. i like to think of myself as a caring, loving,  person with good intentions, but i am fractured. that is not an excuse; simply an explanation of why i say and do the things i do. as some of you may be aware, i am fighting to stay alive every second of every day, and my mental status is fluid. i have not been suicidal for about 6 months, and it feels GREAT! my wish for you is that you find even a …

Processing your request, Please wait....

If hanging worked id do it now

  February 9th, 2019 by ivebeenhereb4

After hundreds of attempts I know it wont though. I just dont want to be here. I never have I hate the reminders of ugliness. I hate being so ugly in such a shallow world. I hate that I am so out of touch with modernity that everything fills me with such angst. I hate this entire path that has lead me to the dead end job working fat FA loser in his 30s living at home with mom. I wanted to kill myself at 12. Things have gotten so much worse in the 20ish years since then. When can I at least have a …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

I’m feeling really bad again

  February 9th, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

That’s about it.

Processing your request, Please wait....
9

Nothing happened

  February 9th, 2019 by Hoody

I remember a scene in Hannibal(TV series) where Will asked Hannibal about his childhood “What happened?” , and the answer was “I happened”. It is a very emotional and tense scene. The first time i watched i thought the answer was too arrogant, but now i understand. It’s true. Probably the best summation i can give for my life, especially after i fell mentally ill. Life before that was like a dream, a character’s life in a book i read, i can’t recall much. Not that i keep a vivid memory of all my activities since the illness, but the emotional aspect of this period(up …

Processing your request, Please wait....
6

Promise (flash fiction)

  February 9th, 2019 by Hope Dream Love

0

i want to end it all. i want to end the pain. the suffering. the torment. i want it to stop. but i promised. i promised i wouldnt let the hammer go. pull the trigger back. i promised. i just hope thats a promise im strong enough to keep.

Processing your request, Please wait....
0

Sick obsession

  February 8th, 2019 by morado123

I cut myself and I lick the blood.

It’s sick, I know.

I’m in control of myself when I do it.

It makes me alive!!

 

Processing your request, Please wait....
8

Yeah, so..

  February 8th, 2019 by princessmousy<:3)~

I found a place to rent. I feel like I’m done. Yeah I want to get a better job. I really do. I’ll never be free. Freedom is complete bs and its only reserved for a certain few, possibly. Trapped in the daily bs. Trapped in my emotions. Trapped by society. Trapped by everything. Mousy trapped forever. Gosh I wish a mouse infestation would take over all of these humans. I’m not going to last much longer emotionally. I am completely flawed. My wiring is all wrong

Soon i’ll look for a new job or to study or whatever, I don’t move into the new place …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

light and darkness

  February 8th, 2019 by somesadgirl

I keep coming back to this place of darkness. I could start getting better and start seeing all the light in life yet somehow I end up in the dark. And each time I go back it gets darker and darker. I feel like I’m so close to reaching my breaking point and it won’t be pretty. When I reach out to others about these feeling and thoughts I always get the same answer, which is “don’t dwell on it”. How can I explain that I’m trying so hard to be in a good place yet somehow I always end up in the dark. How …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

. .

  February 8th, 2019 by barryallen

Someone who I trusted with my life told me that they didn’t want to be my friend anymore because I made them sad and that I was toxic for telling them stuff when they told me that they wanted to hear them because they wanted to help me. I reached out and it put me in the worst state ever convincing me that I am the problem

Processing your request, Please wait....

Therapy isn’t going to work again.

  February 8th, 2019 by ivebeenhereb4

I can tell in my therapist eyes she’s realizing what I already knew before I walked in. That I’m beyond saving. I hear it in her voice that she doesn’t think she can help. Its still early I haven’t had the time to talk about everything. What happens when we get to the real heavy stuff? I have to escape this pain soon. I have to kill myself. There is no escaping the ever present pain.  None at all. Hopefully I can finally have a heart attack and die. Prevent the trouble involved with suiciding.

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Toxic Sludge

  February 8th, 2019 by vwbeatles

I think I’ve reached my breaking point when it comes to forming relationships with people. My head feels so heavy, like thick black concrete forming a toxic sludge. No matter how much people tell me they care about me I can’t help but not feel that care. I can’t help but feel that they like someone else better, that I’ll alway be second best. I can’t help but think I will just die alone. I knew that if I were to just die today only my family would cry. And of course, I love my family. I am grateful for them. But there is something …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

Sincerely, hiohneh

  February 8th, 2019 by hiohneh

Thank you for listening to me. Every one of you deserves happiness.

I have to find my way. I didn’t realize I was this sick. Disconnecting may be what I need. We’ll see…I like experiments.

Future hiohneh will reply on February 8th, 2020. I won’t forget.

Have a great year! May the sun shine bright!

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

trying not care

  February 8th, 2019 by jr.

im doing my best trying not to allow things get to me in these waning days i have. sometimes its really, really difficult 🙁

Processing your request, Please wait....
17

My house is a messy piece of shit, just like me.

  February 8th, 2019 by shatterediris

I need to really start fixing this problem…. I think I’ve figured out a way, I’ll I’ll just do 1-2 hours daily until it’s clean…. but only on days where I has no plans. Wait no that’s not good because I’ll use that as an excuse not to do anything. I want to die.

I’m going to start punishing myself each day that I don’t do any cleaning though, no food on those days, I’ll find a heavier punishment if that one doesn’t work.

There’s mice and they’re probably making me sick, and I’m always sick, and everything is a mess and it’s horrible

I wish I was …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

  February 8th, 2019 by visual eyes

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Please turn back time!

  February 8th, 2019 by rahulswamp

i want to suicide, totally, just burn myself, stop tending to exist in this holy world

it all started before summer vacations when i got into class 11. i stopped studying by overconfidence and started indulging to bad habits, like masturbation, porn, gaming, bunking classes, wasting months. please somebody talk with me!

then the exams came in which i failed for the first time in life.then is now, current time, i have totally ruined my career, my life and hurt my parents. my parents are poor and working hard for my education, but the final that currently going on, i have performed so bad, that i am …

Processing your request, Please wait....
7

ivebeenhereb4

  February 8th, 2019 by Hope Dream Love

i noticed that you disabled comments but i still have a comment to make and i dont know if you are going to see this but i hope you do. you said you’re ugly well i dont think you are. and before you say how would i know i dont know what you look like. i know because i dont see people for what they look like on the outside. i see them for what they are on the inside. and i know that to be on this site you have to be a kind person because no matter what thoughts go thought your mind …

Processing your request, Please wait....

No point

  February 8th, 2019 by ivebeenhereb4

There is such a little point of my life. I have literally been suicidal longer than many of you been alive. I have no place in this world and have to kill myself so bad. I dont understand social media it makes me more suicidal than I already am so I haven’t used it in years. In the time it has shaped the world around me into a place I dont recognize. I’m so alone poor and ugly and incompetent. I want to die so bad I’ve been so alone and depressed and suicidal for so long. I have to blow my brains out in …

Processing your request, Please wait....