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4

Rejecting Reality

  April 8th, 2019 by thehusk

I spend so much time wondering whether I should be ending it. No matter how many times I resolve to keep going until something changes, I keep on reverting back to asking myself why.

I think it’s that I don’t know how to accept and live with the reality I’ve created for myself. I don’t know how to be this person. There’s no real meaning to it for me. I’ve made any kind of connection with anyone impossible for myself. I’ve robbed myself of stakes. Nothing matters. Nothing is worth suffering for. Nothing makes it worth enduring the little things that torment me daily.

But what’s the [...]
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5

Humiliating

  April 8th, 2019 by Daisy_rosieismyrealname

I don’t know what I expected but I feel let down and alone. Life has went on and I’m expected to aswell, no medication, psychiatrist or anyone to turn too. I was given an appointment with adult mental health for two weeks time thinking I would get properly screened, but instead I’ve been given an appointment for a community nurse that I saw briefly when I was 14. No doubt because it’s thought she will know me better. Except, she caused crazy distress with my Foster parents, stayed up in my room for 4 hour sessions until I was exhausted and then eventually it was [...]
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3

Dark dark dark

  April 8th, 2019 by dancingwithdeath

I’m in a very dark place rn, my heart is racing nonstop, my anxiety is through the roof, I can’t stop but think of offing myself. Anyone in such a dark place rn? 🙁


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11

Is procreation a moral obligation?

  April 8th, 2019 by Yoges

It might not seem relevant on this forum, but I got to the question upon thinking all night about my death. I need to know opinions of wannabedeads like me.

What do you think? I guess it is.


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2

unconscionable existence

  April 7th, 2019 by ebullientballoon

Hey, hey look its me.  I’m still here.  Wow.  Where to begin?

I was going to kill myself in december.  but the more i read about the method i had chosen, i decided i couldnt do it.  that manner, the only feasible manner i could and can currently find, is alas, unconscionable.  But so is my existence.

I wonder if i could crowd source those i have alienated over the course of my life for the money to buy some better means of suicide? Because that’s what I’ve been up to.  Alienating everyone.  Getting sexually assaulted by one of my girlfriends, twice, breaking up with both of [...]
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1

For a Moment

  April 7th, 2019 by GoodnightSweetGirl

I woke up this morning and for a moment…I wasn’t me.

Gone were the aches and pains that have become my constant companions
Gone were the darkened eyes and swollen lids from another restless night
Gone were the fine lines that paint the backs of my hands and make them look like paper
Gone were the plump fingers and the brittle nails that, thankfully, still dance gracefully across the keyboard.
Gone were the carnivorous grey hairs that devoured the brown they once mingled with so innocently
Gone were the early morning fatigue brought on by the sleep-induced exhaustion
Gone were the overwhelming need for solitude and [...]
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2

Nothing helps…

  April 7th, 2019 by SuicideOverAgony

Sometimes I can’t find words to explain myself…
All these thoughts telling me to kill myself…
I don’t even know how to feel myself…
I don’t want to admit it but I need some help…
Therapy isn’t working I need self help…


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2

question on situational depression

  April 7th, 2019 by a falling star

my psychiatrist has diagnosed me with adjustment disorder. i wanted to ask if someone else that is also diagnosed with it can tell me their personal experience. i have some doubt regarding the diagnosis.


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3

.

  April 7th, 2019 by Nothingsasitseems

My life is never ending. At the end of every day I don’t bring myself to do it. What I’d give to have someone elses life, to be anyone but me


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4

15 – The Other Side

  April 7th, 2019 by soapandwasser

I want to die. There, I said it. Am I gonna do anything about it? Nope. I want to die. But I’m not going to attempt again so I’m back and forth with wanting to live and wanting to just give up. Not that I could care.

I’ve did some terrible things during the months that I were gone from this site, that if I think about them; I’ll start self-harming again so I’m trying not to think about any.

I’m sad. And I want to just give up being alive. Oh well.

I got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. And to be honest, having [...]
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3

Getting It All Out There

  April 7th, 2019 by Mars_42

I think I was 6 or 7 the first time I considered suicide. I really didn’t want to go to swim class–such a stupid, stupid reason to want to die. Nevertheless, I locked myself in my room and considered how to kill myself. I decided on a knife. I wanted to slice myself open. The knives were in the kitchen, though. I put on my swim suite and went to class. But from that day on, death was in the back of my mind. By the age of 10, I was mentally rehearsing my suicide note nightly and crying myself to sleep. My room was [...]
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1

It should be me.

  April 7th, 2019 by hellblau

8 years and you’re still inside my head
Inside my heart
I can’t burn you away
I can’t see another’s eye
Without seeing yours
I can’t kiss another lips
Without feeling yours
I can’t say I love you
Without thinking of you
And the big problem here
Is that you don’t even know
You’ll never know
You’ve moved on
You’re in love with someone else
And I’ll never be her


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0

Mattress

  April 7th, 2019 by Paowermoves

The last time I slept on my mattress, I was depressed. Diagnosed with dysthymia. My therapist suggests it started at the age of 15. 15! Most days for the last few months of 2018, I found it difficult to peel myself out of bed for hours. To shower. Run a comb through my hair. I could not feel.

The most common misconception of depression is that you’re just sad. I could not feel happy or sad. Mad or excited. I wasn’t able to feel. Just a numbing pain. I could not pinpoint how I got to that point. Finally, I was at the brink of ending [...]
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0

New Career Path?

  April 6th, 2019 by rivets

I think this guy has struck gold.


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8

A.Y.

  April 6th, 2019 by darkwillow

How will we ever get out of this labyrinth of suffering?


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1

  April 6th, 2019 by freeroma


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3

Did someone say love songs?…

  April 6th, 2019 by SuicideOverAgony

Music is my everything and I can go a day without it. I have no one so music is my love, my friend, my everything. Sometimes it doesn’t satisfy me but at least it keeps me company. I just hate that like every song is always about love. I just don’t relate to it because I never had love. So I try to at least go with the flow and ignore the words but sometimes I cant. It hurts because I’m missing out on life especially at 17. I’m still a virgin and it sucks. Sometimes I get pissed off because it’s hard to find a song not about love or sex like damn.


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11

Highschool trauma lead me to the sex industry

  April 6th, 2019 by itzkourt

I graduated highschool last year as Class 2018. I came in to highschool freshman year knowing these would be the worst years of my life, as I would be bullied and humiliated causing of any of my new doors to shut on me before I knew they existed. I was right and attempted suicide a month after turning 15. I came back from several rehab centers with new skills and coping mechanisms. I felt really lively but it was knocked down when my past followed me and I was bullied harder than ever before. Nobody knew that on Youtube before I turned the age of [...]
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0

  April 6th, 2019 by born.loser

Tying up loose ends


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2

1

  April 6th, 2019 by lovewhateverr

5 April 2019 11:23pm-12:01am

I just don’t know anymore. I’m not sure of anything in my life and I can’t trust anyone around me. I still can’t believe that you’re gone, I see you every single day and I don’t know whether that’s worse than not seeing you at all. I’m trying so damn hard to make it every day, and without you, I’m so lost all the time. It’s so awkward to hang out with our friends because they’re still friends with both of us. I know that I can’t keep lingering on this, its been 3 months, but did 2 years really mean nothing?

You knew [...]
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