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1

School…

February 19th, 2018by nonexistingsoul

I’m on my 3rd year in college. Only one more year left… But I’ve been not going to class for about 2 weeks. Going there feels like someone is strangling me and I feel like all of their eyes are looking at me and judging me. I feel like shit. I feel like a trash. I’m useless. Although my parents think I’m going to school, but I don’t and I only go at the place where I dreamed of living by myself. The city that is bright and beautiful at night. The city where full of artist like me are there. The city where I …

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7

Failed Last Night- it’s Tough.

February 19th, 2018by BML84

Last night I was all ready- I’ve been preparing awhile now.

I had the DDMP method minus actual morphine.
I had Valium & Chl in a bowl with baby food.
I had alcohol. Few stiff drinks I felt relaxed. I’d taken anti-emetics and even anti histamines.

I started taking- and it was impossible.

The baby food mixture was unearthly- a taste like nothing on earth. My mind and body rebelled and heaved.
The DDMP was in sweet fruit syrup- my first sip I retched and my stomach heaved, anti-emetics be damned.

I couldn’t do it- the taste was too much and my physiological reactions took twenty minutes to die …

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5

This is probably one of my last posts

February 19th, 2018by madhurgupta

Finally, it seems I am going to have some closure to this shit life. I am about to order a panacea for quick suicide, and that will be the end of Madhur Gupta.

No regrets. No should’ve/could’ve. Just death.

I’m sad. What do I say?

Did I fail at life? :'(

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2

I don’t understand myself

February 19th, 2018by Ziadus

As a kid I was always left out and lonely. It made me create a lot of imaginary friends and a strong creative mind. However it made me want attention and when I didn’t get that, it made me cry. I had so many bad things happen to me I closed myself off from the world and now I don’t know who I am. All I knew was that I was an attention seeker and horrible person because I did bad things just for attention. I hate myself so so much but I can’t figure this out because I don’t know who I am or …

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2

in regards to clipped-wings

February 19th, 2018by thetrashmen

I think about you a lot.

Are you well?

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11

Rant

February 18th, 2018by Taf Taf

I went tonight to the memorial of SS Oria.(I’ll attach photos at the end of this post,just to get an idea how the location is like)The SS Oria was (I’m copy-pasting from wikipedia) ” a Norwegian steamboat that sank on 12 February 1944, causing the death of some 4,000 Italian prisoners of war. This was one of the worst maritime disasters ever, and probably the worst loss of life caused by the sinking of a single ship in the Mediterranean Sea.”

I’ve been to this location 4-5 times.I don’t know why I go there.Maybe the loss of so many lives for no reason, draws me there.Maybe because …

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2

Revisiting old traumas

February 18th, 2018by ShortOne

i haven’t been on here for a year or so, and iv’e done so good in that amount of time i never wanted to slow down or look back at how i used to feel and cope with my depression. but i have poor stamina, and it’s caught up with me again.

 

I first visited this site in 2016 right after my parents had discovered my self harm and suicidal thoughts. At that time i was being emotionally and sexually abused by one of my closest “friends”, that had began a few years before but it peaked that year. The person who took advantage of me …

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1

Idk

February 18th, 2018by vaporwave_

I’ve read a lot of posts on here without making an account for two reasons. One is because I felt no need to, and the second is because I didn’t want others to laugh with me if they ever found out that I made an account. They would follow me around on here, reading my posts and laughing, thinking that what they do does no harm.

I don’t know where to begin.

I feel like none of my friends are reliable enough. I feel like no matter what, i’ll grow up to be a failure and live alone and not do anything. I feel like I am …

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2

Became a psychopath

February 18th, 2018by Urm8451n

I was pushed to my limits again.
This time is a combination. I had a dream in which I stabbed 4 guys over a fight, which I manipulated them to start.

When I was a young boy, my brother abused me physically. He blackmailed me to do him a lot of favors and to serve him. I wanted to kill him for few years back then. I really craved the idea.

Later when I became 16/14 my mom used to berserker on me with vocal violence. She said I was a waste of money and energy. She said she …

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0

New Favorite Song

February 18th, 2018by Todamnbad

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1

No more sorrow

February 18th, 2018by EternalED

This depression got me weak.

I see no hope.

sun is gone forever.

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16

February 18th, 2018by ratlovinggirl

There’s so much fighting and negativity on here, it makes my stomach hurt. Anyone care to leave something happy so as to drown out the garbage?

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4

none

February 18th, 2018by miszion

hey y’all. I haven’t been posting, but lurking nonetheless.

ive been trying really hard to focus on work, school, and my loved ones. As I write this I’m visiting my grandparents, who I love with my entire heart, and my bratty cousins, who I love just as much.

i fell asleep crying on their couch last night because I felt so guilty about my secret, the fact that I can barely handle getting up everyday anymore. they all know I have a past with self injury and my grandma is constantly thinking my really deep scars on my legs are new cuts almost every time she sees …

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3

alone

February 18th, 2018by iamdarling

well, the truth is, i’m all alone in this world.

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8

Letmyheartsing

February 18th, 2018by iamdarling

your post about people having no comments. ironically, i couldn’t comment on that post, for some reason.

i too read all the posts, but i don’t comment on a lot. sometimes i don’t know what to say, or maybe my ocd won’t let me. that’s why i’m constantly posting and deleting posts, because one of my weird compulsions is that if i’m typing anything formally there must be alliteration, so, if i wrote something that had two words or more beginning with the letter A, it would have alliteration and seem ‘neater’ to me. but if i had only one word beginning with the letter B, …

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13

February 18th, 2018by visual eyes

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0

Tired of my life

February 18th, 2018by Taf Taf

 

Song by David Bowie.

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3

The end is nigh

February 18th, 2018by born loser

Next week Sunday I should be ready to do the deed. I actually feel calm and excited. I am not going to my work this week. Just trying to enjoy the stuff I like do, in these final days of my mine 😛

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4

February 18th, 2018by nobodycares

dying inside…

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2

ungrateful

February 18th, 2018by ratlovinggirl

My mother decided to point out that I’m ungrateful. I’m in relatively good health except for a few pretty bad problems but they can be cured, and yet I want to die. I get pets knowing they will only live 1 or 2 years but I start to hate the entire world when they die. I get upset that I never have money or a future but I let my anxiety get to me and don’t decide to get a job. I push away everyone in my life that’s good for me and then cry about being alone.

So maybe she’s right.

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