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1

jabbering

May 22nd, 2017by hailtotheamnesiac

Here we go again. I’m left alone in my bed, with nothing but the sound of my fan and my laptop. My boyfriend went to bed, after the horrible day he had. Today was the first time I realized I’m depressed…..again. Only God knows why I was given clinical depression at the age of 15, with severe anxiety to top it off. I have no friends (besides my honey), and the only will to live I have is my religion. I’m losing that will. My religion takes about a great afterlife, and I have never wanted to go more than I do now. Since my …

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10

My Vows

May 22nd, 2017by BlueDiamond

That I will never get married

Never have sex with another fellow human being

If I’m to become homeless, that I will slit my carotid artery.

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6

Tired of Doing the Right Thing

May 22nd, 2017by BlueDiamond

I got another bill from Tuckers. How can I get medical help when I can’t afford it? I know, just stop being depress and magically suck everything up like a sponge. I just got a job, and guess what it’ll all going to go to paying bills. Most of dept is college, hell the debt on one my credit cards is college, and I’m still working shit jobs, scraping the barrel to pay bills. Over 90% percent of my debt is college. Rarely do I spend money for myself. Bad enough that I have a dad who is always bitching to me about money, but …

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2

Problems? No, just one…

May 22nd, 2017by NotHankMoody

I’m the catylst. I’m the corrosive agent seeping from the cracks in the walls. My Nihlisim is wasting their oxygen. I’m sick of thinking of reasons to die, there’s far enough. Behind the glass, I still taste the dirt under my gums. No escape for cowards.

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2

Damn

May 22nd, 2017by Mehikka

I’m so damn tired of everyone and what they tell me to do

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14

Sensation

May 22nd, 2017by Robstein

Do you sometimes feel like you’re about to die without doing anything special?

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19

I am…

May 22nd, 2017by suicideisnotachoice

just… tired. Tired of abusive family. Tired of people that pretend to understand when they clearly don’t. Tired of societal expectations. Tired of having some hope left. Tired of constant pain and torment. Tired of constant suicidal thoughts. Tired of feeling guilty. Tired of waiting for a break. Tired of waiting for someone to notice me and want to spend time with me. Tired of being the invisible one. Tired of being the one everyone looks down on, because I’m never “good enough”. Tired of being the one everyone tramples and gets left behind trying to pick myself up, and then get trampled again when …

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7

why am i still trying? i need opinions.. sorry for this

May 22nd, 2017by anne33

i keep asking for advice and i am sorry but i have no where else to go and no one else to ask. my best friend is starting to hate me because of this one situation i wont let go of. so this website is all i’ve got at the moment……

i’ve mentioned the guy who begged me for sexual photos of myself and whatnot in previous posts. but i have come to a conclusion that it could be considered harassment. every single time he talks to me, he begs for them. when i say “no” he guilts me, when i say “no” AGAIN, he gets …

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10

You, me

May 22nd, 2017by Robstein

Are you a realist or an idealist?

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9

How do I get back my will to live?

May 22nd, 2017by eternaldarkness

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9

if I had the words to tell everyone…

May 22nd, 2017by Gasping for Air

You all thought you knew me so well. None of you knew anything. Yes, you knew all of my diagnostics, and everything in the surface, but I wore so many masks. It feels weird writing to you all in third person, but soon I’ll be gone, an  unmoving figure in the snow… I lost myself in my masks, and now I don’t know who or what I am. I know the tears and pains of those many years older than me, and I refuse to live such a painful life anymore. You knew about the cutting, but you didn’t try to help. You didn’t know …

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4

// why am i here.

May 22nd, 2017by whitewater

“Nobody will love you, until you love yourself”

         That is such, such a scary thought.

If I can’t love myself, if I physically, literally can’t, then what’s my point? Companionship is at the base of a human’s needs, so what happens when we don’t have it? I know for me, it kills you the same way a lack of food will. It will be the same thoughts running through your head; you know the position you are in, but you can’t do anything. You won’t do anything. You know what will happen if you don’t, yet there

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6

high at therapy

May 22nd, 2017by Milestiba

Every night for the last week I have not been able to sleep at night. Mind racing and emotions running crazy. Each night I have been on the phone with two and three different crises lines. Just barely holding on. So yesterday I dipped in to my supply of old psych meds. Today I went to group high as hell. Therapist thought I was going through a med change. Yeah sure.

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4

Reason I Want To Die

May 22nd, 2017by ShiSui

I don’t belong anywhere, I would push away inferior friends for superior ones in the case of popularity, I’m a shitty person, I can’t feel love, joy, desire, or the will to want to get up and just do. I’m trapped in my head 24/7 thinking nonsensical things about nothing while other times my mind is blank and empty so I walk around my house aimlessly not saying a word for periods of time. I can’t connect or relate with people, psychiatrists and therapists don’t get it, they don’t see that my mind and the thinking pattern and the way I see life is so …

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0

BML84 Please Email Me.

May 22nd, 2017by Bree9

I got a notification of your post before it unfortunately got deleted. I don’t know why the admins on this site insist on censoring things that could help us. I have a question, please email bridget scorpius at g mail dot com, no spaces. Thanks!

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6

Can’t even summon the energy to get out of bed

May 22nd, 2017by Lion8309

I had decided that I would give myself a little more time to decide whether or not I could salvage the disaster that is my life.   I am very behind at work and I figured I would take the long weekend to see if I could catch up and if I couldn’t then I would execute my plan.

Instead, I spent the whole weekend in bed.  I just couldn’t move.  I Didn’t have the energy to go to the office or to carry out my plan.  (I won’t say what it is but it requires preparation).   So here I am and it is already …

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4

A Case of the Fnck Its!

May 22nd, 2017by LifeIsAnIllusion

The cost of living on Social Security Disability isn’t enough to exist on and the chronic pain and chronic illnesses that I suffer with, as well as a 2008 Near Death Car Crash has made things worse from brain trauma and severe cervical spine damage that isn’t fixable and the pain will get worse as my vertebra continue to collapse so say the surgeons.

So do you ever feel like just giving up? I’m almost there! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve not sat around whining. I do help others in 12 step recovery from Alcoholics Anonymous, Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families to Survivors of Incest and …

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16

Because

May 22nd, 2017by Robstein

I don’t wanna die because I think the afterlife will suck

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2

brain junk

May 22nd, 2017by plasticflower

words won’t come out.
talking and expressing anything seems like too much work, or like something too complicated that i can’t figure out.
and when i do try to reach out and open up to others, it always goes wrong. i try telling someone about the panic attack i had, and they assume i’m lying and then proceed to tell me i’m not trying hard enough, and that only makes everything harder for everyone. they tell me to try harder.
i thought i was trying my best. and i was. but it seems like, once again, my best wasn’t enough.
i tried to open up, and …

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2

38 days left

May 22nd, 2017by ShiSui

Slept 17 hours today. Don’t feel like facing my existence consciously. DONT FEEEL LIKE FACING ANYTHING REALLY

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