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1

My Suicide Fantasy

September 12th, 2017by LordsWrath

During my 20s I used to fantasise about going in to the woods in the middle of the night. Find an empty isolated clearing in the woods, miles away from any civilisation. Dig my grave. Shoot myself in the head. Then proceed to bury my dead body in the grave. Shoveling the dirt over my dead body. Patting down the soil on top. Then I stand back, feel relieved and happy because I did it all on my own. Then I dissappear. Because I’m dead.

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1

Letters written.

September 12th, 2017by desperatelyalone98

I haven’t stopped crying in hours. I am in my late twenties with a child but  have been ill 17 years with complex PTSD. I cannot do this anymore. But yet I am terrified because I don’t want to leave my child. Equally I can’t do this.

I know I should just get on with it. I have the means. Why am I freaking out now after all the preparation? I am truly pathetic even when trying to leave.

My child is elsewhere, safe and looked after <3

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6

90 days

September 12th, 2017by John Doe

approx. 90 days (maybe sooner) im going to kill myself. hopefully, just hopefully i will finally succeed this time. sick and tired of this world. so fuckin’ done. peace

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18

I kinda need to vent

September 12th, 2017by FakeYouOut

Ok…so…I just feel like I need to vent and get my thoughts out….

 

so, first off, my mom treats me like crud. She blames me for things I didn’t do, has called me a b*tch on multiple occasions, I get in trouble for the things my littlest sister does most of the time, she’s spanked me, smacked me, and so on. And she’s fake. She fakes her personality around everyone except me, my dad, and my sisters. Also, she’s told me to never show any emotion other than happiness and to keep my opinions to myself. I’ve stopped doing both, mind you, but whenever I bring …

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1

rambling

September 12th, 2017by vee

it’s been a while since the last time i posted anything here, but right now i feel like i just need to type stuff out.

lots of things have been happening lately, the biggest thing being i moved. i was okay for a while, feeling pretty neutral, which at this point is great. but it’s only been getting worse for some reason, nothing significant has happened. i’ve been feeling very weird these past few days though, i can’t feel anything. it’s like i’m numb for some reason? yesterday i met a youtuber i really admire and i thought i’d be so happy but i didn’t feel …

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12

Can nothing good happen to me? Wtf

September 12th, 2017by Ellen87

Okay so for 2months ive been calorie counting, working out, walkin 6-8 miles a day every day, drinkin nuthin but tea and water. Went to my doctor this morning and found out i lost no weight and that i gained 30lbs in 2 months. Wtf???? Being healthy didnt do sh*t for me. So she thinks i have a thyroid problem and maybe diabetes, so she had me give a bunch a blood for all these tests to figure out whats goin on.

Its just depressing that im tryin to make myself feel better n look better and my own body fks me over. I just cannot …

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3

First Post.

September 12th, 2017by Blackholeheart

So I’ll start off,  im middle-aged,  unmarried,  decent job,  loving brothers, sisters & mother,  I’ve traveled from coast to coast across Canada and lived in the USA for 7 years,  I’ve got a nice big television,  huge stereo,  all kinds of console gaming systems,  computer,  nice apartment, comfortable bed,  good fucking friends,  I don’t have to struggle to feed myself or keep clothes on my back,  I was never abused in any way as a child,   my mental illnesses are anxiety,  society anxiety and depression,  when I was a teenager i was put in the psych ward only once for a two week stay.
Why am …

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4

What do you do?

September 12th, 2017by goodie2shoes

When the thought of dying scares you, but the thought of living scares you infinitely more?

 

What do you do?

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2

Please please please

September 12th, 2017by iwouldrathernot

You know when you wish for something really hard even though you know it is impossible?

 

Like having class cancelled the day of a  test you’re not prepared for, or your boss calling to tell you that the roads are bad so everyone gets a day off?

 

Just shit like that, you know it won’t happen but you really fucking need it to happen sometimes. And then it doesn’t happen so you have to go through with whatever thing you really didn’t want to do. That’s me with my life, I keep hoping it’s not really happening. I’m a figment of someone else’s fucked up dream and …

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1

Im back

September 12th, 2017by Sammie Motionless

Hey uh I’ve been gone for a while maybe a bit more then that and I feel super like shit I can’t seem to get better I just feel like I’m living the same boring life it’s as if there’s nothing more to do anymore that can help me what do I do

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17

Does anyone else get really ticked off about “suicide prevention” crap?

September 12th, 2017by OneShot

Especially fundraisers. What exactly are these funds going to? To put up more signs and buy more advertising for the suicide hotline which never did a damn bit of good for me or anyone I know? Here’s an idea. How about using the funds to pay off the debts that so many depressed people are sinking in? How about actually offering free mental health care? In other words, how about taking these millions of dollars and fixing the problems that are making people kill themselves, instead of funding some bloated industry that’s now profiting from our pain.

When I donate money to a cause, I make …

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8

I don’t know what to do

September 12th, 2017by asperger rebel

Hi. I’m new here. Just want to say that I fucking hate the world. I’m fucking alone, no friends, no girlfriend, nobody… and I’m 21! I’m still a virgin and have never kissed a girl. It seems I’ll be the next Elliot Rodger, but I don’t want to kill people, I don’t have the balls to do that. You see, I’m in a trouble, a big trouble. My life can’t go on. I can’t have this pathetic life. I can’t continue. I’m almost crying right now, lying on my bed in my miserable room. I think I will slit my throat, as soon as I’m ready …

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9

I’m starting to think that I may be on the Autism Spectrum.

September 11th, 2017by mindlessgamer619

So, after the umpteenth time of being yelled at about leaving my keys in the door, of being “completely unaware of my surroundings”, I’d kinda had enough.

Things of that nature have been going on for many many years now. I’m not entirely sure how to explain this, or how much I honestly want to tell, but I’ll be brief.

One of the things I can say is that it’s scary how constantly some of these things have happened to me throughout my ENTIRE life:

1. Being yelled at because I did not follow directions, and I mean, SIMPLE directions.
2. Looking confused or lost when someone tells me to …

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1

Pessimistic Rant

September 11th, 2017by theblackveal

Feeling very empty. Things never work my way, doesn’t matter if I think positively, try my best, or whatnot. If I strive to get what I want, 98% of the time I do not get it. Same with relationships. I don’t blame others for my flaws, but I just can’t figure out why I fail at so many things. I wasn’t born a pessimist, but have become one over the years. I’ve never been good enough and all I want is a break…( oddly here I was thinking of the kit-kat “give me a break” jingle)

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3

A Different Time

September 11th, 2017by Mordred

I keep thinking of all the different times in my life when I was happy. Looking back now, each moment seems so…challengingly constructed. A coincidence here, a lie there, etc. etc.. Everything just aligned, in those days. In fact, those days could almost be deemed as miraculous.

It’s strange how luck works. Even in those days, it seemed like reality was not too far away. Every constructed moment felt like a lie, felt like a dream, but somehow we wanted to believe in that dream. We tried for as long as we could to keep the dream alive, to make sure the spark didn’t go away.

When …

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4

Remember When

September 11th, 2017by Katki

You thought things couldn’t get worse?

Yeah,

…then today happened…

 

and the wheel turns, another spin, go around the corner, it begins again

 

 

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6

Balloon Time

September 11th, 2017by Resentment

Having the tank handy has given me the peace of mind to get me through the past year.
Recently decided to do more research and found out it’s “no less than 80% helium” as they’re trying to conserve.

I’m not in such agony that I will do anything. I just want the security to know I have an exit for when things get bad.
I really favored this method, but now I’m more uncertain.

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8

September 11th, 2017by StarryEyed

Want to play the f57 whale challenge, just to see if it could make me do it finally

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3

Strength, and victim.

September 11th, 2017by Urm8451n

I never thought I would get here. I mean either to the fact of “getting through horrible experiences”, and to “getting over obstacles”.

To be honest, at first it was easy for me feeling like a victim. “Winning” the lottery to go through shitty life, odds must be like a 1 to 500,000 .  But after awhile, I got over the feeling of being a victim. I started focusing on how to end the pain. I understood that I want to achieve great goals, and be able to be completely independent. And I knew 1 thing for sure – the independence will be concurred easily by …

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10

Read me

September 11th, 2017by Mireya

Dear reader,
I know this is a stupid thing to type, but I really don’t know why I am writing this in 2 am.. I just hope someone will read this ..and feel .. and understand.
I’m seriously tired of breathing this air which is taking out my oxygen and replacing it with sadness and melancholy.
It’s like I can’t talk. I can’t say what’s in my mind to someone and understand because they won’t and I feel like they will think I’m weird. I have lost all of my friends and all I have left is someone I really love,whom I can’t lose. Otherwise I’d lose myself …

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