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1

I can’t stop hurting and my fear of dying is dissapearing.

  February 3rd, 2019 by Empty.Heart

I have been thinking about dying for some time. The thought of which use to make me panic. Now, when I think of death and disappearing, it is harder for me to be afraid. I want to be able to think about my future and be happy and excited. I know that (from my two previous therapists (four years at first one and one year at second)) I can control my thoughts, but lately it has been me thinking about dying. Consciously or subconsciously, I am not sure. I am sure however, that I don’t want to grow up. I had always felt that I …

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4

Everything is boring

  February 3rd, 2019 by princessmousy<:3)~

I have no interest in anything anymore. It’s all boring. The only thing I like is swimming, and I’m sure I’ll get bored of that soon. I’m going nowhere. Sorry for complaining…

My life will never have meaning.

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7

False friends and no friends at all

  February 3rd, 2019 by WITHINtheShadows

IDK if I wanna try to make new friends now that they are showing up again since I got into some new courses.

Last 2 years I made some new friends and all of them did sth realy bad to me. In fact, all my life my friends did sth to harm and cheat me. I never had true friends for a long time. It doesnt last. After the funny times they always harm me and try to take some advantage, financial, sexual, intelectual or emotionally or other and they start liying a lot.

I’m a very intelligent and good person and people read this as a …

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19

homocideproject

  February 3rd, 2019 by NotAnEdgyName

Hi

I realise its fucked but I think about killing other people as much as I think about killing myself
I cant really talk about those feelings on this forum, does anybody have a forum where I can vent or deal with my shit?

It sucks that feeling suicidal is more acceptable than feeling homocidal but I get it.

Feels bad man

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3

Free

  February 3rd, 2019 by OnlyFurther

It feels good to be away from that accursed place.

Now, I don’t think about them every day, those monsters under the guise of teachers.

I still feel the pain from it, but at least now my head is mostly clear.

Somehow, I’ve gotten in a relationship.

My only hope now is that I may get my dream job while also staying with him.

I haven’t thought about having both as a possibility in many years.

Getting the degree I need will be much easier without the stress of reliving childhood trauma daily.

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17

(My)Dreams are unrealistic

  February 3rd, 2019 by PatheticMale

I have this unrealistic childhood dream which I should have given up years ago but for some reason I cant. Its probably (definitely) just an addiction at this point. It is time to become an adult and give up on childhood fantasies but I just keep prolonging it on and on and on… I cant accept the fact that I failed and move on… but soon there will be no room to procrastinate… The responsible adult life always seemed so unappealing to me but I need to get used to it soon or I am not going to survive… But that means radically completely changing the …

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2

A single moment knows no limits

  February 3rd, 2019 by WickedApparition

Once upon a time…
I had lived experiences.
I had a story in which I wanted to tell.
I had a message that I wished to share.
I had created a posting about that experience here, on this very site, some time ago.

… then, one day… 
I had chosen to remove myself (via the form of time/energy) and my postings from this service.
I had stated In my ‘final’ message post (which still lives somewhere within the dust-laden stacks of this site): “I came to share a story and ended up staying a few days longer than expected. I am proud to have encountered each and every person that I’ve spoken

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1

Nobody loves me

  February 3rd, 2019 by DeadbyDawn

Not one single person.

What’s the point in life now?

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6

The Suicide by Edna St. Vincent Millay

  February 3rd, 2019 by FairFairAndCold

I was reading some poems by Edna St. Vincent Millay And found one called “The Suicide”. It opens with the lines at the bottom of this post. I connected with the idea of cursing life and giving it up, but I was unnerved by the direction she took it. It ends with her in heaven, in eternal rest, but jealous of the other dead people and angels who get to serve her god. When she asks for a task, the God tells her no because her life was her task and she gave that up. Does the idea of life as an act of devotion …

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7

I don’t know what I’m doing with my life

  February 3rd, 2019 by fififulfil

The thing is, I don’t want to kill myself, I’m not suicidal but I don’t want to be alive.

Does that even make any sense?

I don’t want to kill myself but I don’t want to live my life anymore.

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2

Done

  February 2nd, 2019 by unknownsoldier

I’ve fought enough battles to know this is not one I can win. I’m tired of being strong and putting on a show of being fucking ok.

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2

hi

  February 2nd, 2019 by darkclxuds

i’m new here and i just wanted to let everyone who sees this to know no matter what you can talk to me

(actually maybe if you’re any age up to 20 because i could probably help and relate to you more) but even if you’re not i’ll still try to help.

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7

Trust, that tricky thing

  February 2nd, 2019 by velveteennightingale

Do you ever not know who is trustworthy and then you think, “Am I even trustworthy?”  I just don’t know who to believe anymore, and I don’t know who is a “good” or trustworthy person.

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20

Rejection

  February 2nd, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

So here I am again. Same old lame things. Depression, anxiety. But this week I’ve had a very special guest in my life: rejection.

It’s not that we hadn’t met before. Oh no, we’ve always been pretty close. But this week we really connected.

Being the weirdo doesn’t really get along with depression and anxiety. Specially when you’re the only girl at work who wasn’t invited to the farewell party. Feeling 15? Well I am 25 and this is still hitting hard.

Friend stood me up and made it pretty clear that she doesn’t really care about me.

Crush has been making my life even more miserable for the …

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5

Loooool

  February 2nd, 2019 by princessmousy<:3)~

Not suicide related

I was making a post on my laptop and my video card overheated. Stupid driver. Now if only this thing co-operates and…
Will do anything to save it!!!
I will try an older driver. See how it goes.

Wait what I’m in safe mode and its showing these weird green lines???
GRRRRR.

I think its f**ked…
Lame!

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13

Counting Down

  February 2nd, 2019 by Hope Dream Love

We had talked before on one of my previous posts not long ago. If you could please get back to me i have a few questions concerning the topic we discussed. Thank you.

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9

Does anyone believe in reincarnation…

  February 2nd, 2019 by psgalaxy

…and think to themselves that if you end up committing suicide and then being born as one of the poor animals that are being abused and tortured half of their lives then brutally killed, you’re actually ending up worse off than if you continued living? I can’t get this out of my head… I wish there was a guarantee that we don’t come back to this messed up world.

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0

shit i wrote when i was high a couple months ago

  February 2nd, 2019 by NotAnEdgyName

wrote this rap/poem but dont remember doing it
thought i would share

hey family its me, um. mum and dad remember im your son
constant obsessions with weapons, oh looky there another gun
oh look at me im happy, im having fun, uh
im sorry for lying im tired and dissapointed
the world i see around me is colorless and disjointed
like someone shat on a round plate, rubbed it in my face and said
this is your fate. I not gonna swallow that rubbish. Imma walk at my own pace

look, heres the deal my heads gone wild and fuckin overheating
i feel nothing like a damn cold my body aint …

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3

One week of Kratom

  February 2nd, 2019 by Counting Down

So in another post a wonderful person suggested this herb. Although Im having a real ***** of a time trying to see a counselor just to get a basic script for antidepressants  (3-4 month wait!) This has really been working for me.

Every morning I take 12, 500 mg capsules with a glass of OJ and a cup of coffee. Within about 5-10 minutes, my mood is lifted, back pain disappears, and I feel pretty damn good. It lasts about 4-5 hours.

I have noticed side effects, I get twichy, light headed, and seem to have slightly too much energy.  I also often feel itchy which I …

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2

Lost

  February 2nd, 2019 by normajeanmortenson

I feel lost. I feel empty. I feel alone in a room full of people.

My boyfriend died. He lived 7519km away from me. We hadn’t seen in each other in 5 months. There was a crash. He flew through the windshield and died instantly. I woke up that morning with pain in my chest. I knew something was wrong. I tried to call him but his phone was off. Finally, I learned the truth. My angel, the love of my life, my soul mate was gone. If only he had waited two more weeks and we would have been together. I was surprising him with …

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