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3

Empty

September 11th, 2017by heartlessviking

This life, this world, so empty.

I used to think I was the flaw, that there is something wrong with my vision.

Yet now……. my vision is all I have. Yet my eyes lie.

I ask others what is of value, how can I fill the emptiness. They tell me about power, intelligence, wealth. Yet, I have had some measure of all these things, and the emptiness remained.

I just want to stop pretending. Stop lying that I care about petty things. I don’t care. Not that I don’t care about anything, I just don’t care about the things that I should.

I don’t care about money, I suppose either …

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6

Fake Friends

September 11th, 2017by Lostsoul_20

I hate that my “friends” are all friends with my rapist – they claim not to be but they very obviously are. Always talking to him, laughing with him, partying with him, visiting his place, cooking for him at one point fucking him. I wish they could see how deteriorating this is. Its not enough to say I should be the one to say don’t hang out with him. if some guy that you say you’re only acquaintances with rapes you’re friend you get rid of the guy. Don’t make excuses as to why you continue to get close to him and apologise and continue …

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0

September 11th, 2017by Robigson

Everything is bullshit, everything is a lie. Fuck this world

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3

September 11th, 2017by Robigson

Feeling like shit. Some people make me feel like shit
Why don’t people care about other people?
Why don’t people get along? Why don’t people understand each other? What is wrong with people?
Who am I? Who are you?
I want to die but at the same time not
Maybe I’m selfish

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7

so im still here

September 11th, 2017by duringmydarkestdays

and it fucking hurts

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1

Today

September 11th, 2017by namelessqueer

is my father’s birthday and I will not wish him a happy one because we don’t get along.

What’s most present on my mind is my relationship with my partner who is chronically late and not great about communicating about it. This past week she was late three times in a row. Only a few minutes late to the movies but then forgot I was picking her up from work and lied about what time she’d be home, she got there 1.5 hours later and then lied again on Sunday about what time she’d leave work and called me 1.5 hours after …

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8

Life is strange

September 11th, 2017by brokenandbent30

I’ve spent close to a year alone by choice. I was tired of guy’s mind games. Then an ex from a decade ago found me and he has my heart now. Then my most recent ex who I never ever thought I would hear from again, reached out last night. He was my longest relationship ever.

What is going on?! Isn’t there a saying that after you’re with someone, that’s usually when someone from your past comes back? Well both of these guys are from my past and they both know me better than anyone in different ways, but at the same time they don’t know …

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1

Afraid of the Dark

September 11th, 2017by kn

When I was young I used to be terrified of the dark

I had a good imagination, but only used it to picture the grotesque and vicious monsters that could attack me

I used to fear going to bed, because even though my parents didn’t believe me, I knew the monsters were there waiting for

I had a lamp which I left on, and when it was dark, it was my best friend.

 

While that feels like many years ago, not all that much has changed

I fear the dark, but in a different way

My mind stills conjures images of horrible monsters, but now they are different

They are the pain …

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1

Heart is breaking…

September 11th, 2017by Ellen87

Its hittin 130am and i cant sleep. A friend updated me on my ex fiance, who was my 1st love, who i had 2 children with and spent almost 7yrs of my life with him but knew him for 10yrs. She told me that hes engaged. I felt the sharpest pain in my heart. And now all these thoughts run in my head and all i can think about is jason and him giving her his heart. Meanwhile my heart crumbles and still craves for his affection to soon return.

But hes never coming back to me. I lost this battle, hes no longer within my …

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1

Dungeon

September 11th, 2017by .

I can’t stand reading most of the posts here.
Then again it’s almost been 3 years since I first started using this site. I’ve hopped on and off when it gets easier, and when I can’t ignore it.
In my opinion if you try to kill yourself multiple times and don’t succeed it’s not because of the method.
I have one attempt and only by some ridiculous chance/luck/divinity whatever is the only reason I didn’t actually die. I genuinely believe I died that day, wether it was for second or a minute or maybe I didn’t. But that feeling of when I woke up, that stale feeling …

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4

Has depression damaged your health?

September 11th, 2017by Black Holez

Has depression damaged ypur health? The reason I’m asking this is because I’ve noticed some very observal changes in my physical capabilities. Extreme depression caused me to become a recluse, so I just sulked around in bed all day and isolated myself. I’d imagine it caused a lot of physical degradation on my end.

I was physically fit before and could even managed to do back breaking labor. It only took me 4 months of depression to get tired easily and look old and ugly. I was in bed all day for 6 days a week, didn’t spend a time outside the house, didn’t take …

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2

3 attempts

September 11th, 2017by itzKobii

Ive attempted suicide 3 times all by od’ing but im here now and Im not sure what else to do in my life. I think i might try next week im not sure but I hope everyone else is having a good day.

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2

I didn’t ask to be here

September 11th, 2017by sadbutsmiles

I don’t really know where to start…I could tell my whole life story on here but that would just be a waste of time. I didn’t have the worst childhood ever, I mean it could have been a lot worse.. I did go through some things tho and I feel like they’ve caused me to be the way I am today. I hate who I am.. so passionately. I make so many mistakes all the time.. little mistakes and big mistakes. I’m also really weird and anti social and no one really likes me. Whenever I try to go out and be normal I always end …

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4

none of your business what I do…

September 10th, 2017by OldCow

Every time I read some snotty post from someone about how suicide is selfish, I just want to ask them what gives them the right to judge. Who are you to say that ending my torture and mental pain is so damned selfish?

Selfish, in my opinion, is forcing someone to live a life they don’t want just so you can feel superior and some self-serving form of faux compassion. Go pet a kitten. Hug a puppy and get over yourself. I don’t want or need your compassion, understanding, or judgements.

When will people get over this god fairy tale that “life is sacred” nonsense and realize …

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4

Rant.

September 10th, 2017by BlondeWig

I wonder when things will become easier to discuss with people. When will I be able to comfortably talk about my depression and the darkest part of my brain to another person? I recently had a huge problem that brought this problem to light, wondering how many other people. such as yourselfs, struggle with this as well. The understanding. Relatability. Willingness to listen without judgement. I’ll explain my situation to you all;

So my family and I have been on and off with our relationship, one second we get along, laugh, have a great time. Another second we are butting heads and completely at odds with …

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1

Black in Watercolors

September 10th, 2017by LittleBead

I painted this. It’s nothing original, actually a copy… A watercolor one. And, you know, when you paint using watercolors, you can’t always fix everything you screw up in your painting. If you put too much of black, it’s nearly absolutely sure that no matter how many layers of other colors you put on top of it, the black paint still will prevail, still will show through them. And if you rub the paper too much with a tissue to get rid of the redundant color, even if you use that expensive 300g+ paper as I do, the paper will …

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2

…..

September 10th, 2017by Ellen87

Alot of my friends and family dont know im schizoaffective. I stopped seeing a therapist once the court order was done and i havent taken meds in 9yrs. Ive been managing it pretty well on my own.

But some times certain symptoms kick in while im at work, or around family or esp in relationships. Alot of paranoia, and voices filling me with doubt and hatred until i bust out accusing people of doing/saying somethin they didnt do. And then they give me that look. The dreaded look that lets u know that they know somethin isnt quite right about u.

I hate that look. My exbf …

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2

I Wish Someone Loved Me

September 10th, 2017by dusk182

I don’t even know what to do anymore, why’s that? Cause I don’t even know what’s happening to me. I think of suicide at least once a day, I think the best decision would be to actually try again and succeed. The only reason why I haven’t killed myself yet is my family, I know they love me, I can’t disappoint them. I’m not sure for how long I can do that though. I should be fucking happy, I have a nice family, I have friends, I live in a nice house, but why the fuck do I wanna end it all then?

I wish someone …

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0

Momentum…

September 10th, 2017by Urm8451n

At night, I find myself preparing for a great fight for my future, right before falling a sleep.
and then…..
It’s morning, I’m fully awaken, my mind is processing everything better than what it does at night…. but.. my will to fight is nowhere near me.

Why is that?

Even more, I fully understand my goals, and why they are important, but I lack friends to tell them about it. I lack a relationship to feel wanted. I lack the family to be a part of. And worse, I lack time to have for my own dreams.

I decided to do some changes around here, and thought to share with …

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4

Life is sad

September 10th, 2017by XxemogirlxX

there’s nothing better i can’t do anymore, everything is mess… i might end this suffering soon… i don’t want to live anymore, ardent censer is getting nerfed soon and i need to find a high elo eboy if i want to success in life… this is so hard. i really hate everything…

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