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2

Why do I have to live like this?

  April 3rd, 2019 by wanttolivemylife

I really need to talk to someone but I have no friends. Everyone around me just wanted to use me. If I am of no use to them, I am basically garbage. This is how I feel each and everyday.

Sincerely don’t understand, I give everyone so much consideration but I can’t even get a little, why!!!!

My life is not mine, it belongs to all the people that needs me, all my time and energy are drained, why do I have to live like this!


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0

im still here

  April 3rd, 2019 by li

i’m still here 
i hate it 
i fell in love 
but she’ll never get it 
i want to die in her arms 
i hope she’ll understand it 
maybe one more day 
maybe 
i gave her my heart 
but she dont know it 
its on her table 
she’d never see it 
ive been through enought
to know i wont have it 
i guess it is time for me to sleep 
for a long time coming 
 
goodbye 
i might be back 

1

why can’t i feel love?

  April 3rd, 2019 by cryingstars

for a while now, i’ve been having difficulty feeling emotions, especially love. i know there’s something wrong with me and it’s really frustrating me. especially since i have friends and a gf that i care about so much. but i can’t really seem to actually love them. i care about them and want them to be healthy, safe, and stuff like that, but i can’t seem to feel love. i remember when i was little, i felt love and it was such a strong emotion. I don’t even remember what that emotion feels like anymore. It’s making me feel sooo guilty since i know that [...]
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3

I failed

  April 3rd, 2019 by nozmoking

Razor blade. Brand new. Fresh out of the box. I can’t remember how long it has been since I felt so mother fucking sick I wanted to do this. But I wanted to cut. And I couldn’t.

Why?

My skin is so tough and weathered I couldn’t get the blade through it. I BENT the fucking blade.

What kind of life makes you so callous and so tough you can’t even draw blood?


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3

I don’t believe in friendship

  April 3rd, 2019 by Walkingghoul1739

This summer, two friends of mine seemed to become overly skeptical of me…. They seemed to always hint and nudge that they felt that I was a “*****”. I went from enjoying spending time with each of them to only seeing them grow more and more restless and uneasy around me and seeming to insult me at any given opportunity, and often for no reason at all.

One day I got sick of it and stopped talking to each of them. I went from hanging out with these 2 kids that I had been best friends with since pre school (we are now 23) almost every [...]
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7

Thought of the Day

  April 3rd, 2019 by Daisy_rosieismyrealname

I really want to lie in the middle of the road right now.


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0

Together forever

  April 3rd, 2019 by blankbanshee

JUST BEING BITTER, TRASH TALK I NEED TO PUT OUT SOMEWHERE:

i really believed you when you said we’d be together forever. i mean why should i have any doubts. but of course that didnt last long. the girl you wanted to be your ‘wife’ the girl that was the ‘light of your life’ is now the girl you dont have time for. now im just another ex.

i should have seen it from the start, why you had so many ex’s, why you still talked to all of them like you talk to me now. i wonder who your new girl is going to be and [...]
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4

Another terrible day..

  April 3rd, 2019 by peach

So I have to write this out of my mind…today I woke up so early and even go to my classes! Well at least 3 classes..in the morning I felt less shitty than I use to be, so I was glad that I could go to my classes, but in the second one I started to feel so anxious, that I thought I would faint (luckily I didn’t). Anyway in the third class I just couldn’t bear my emotions, like I knew that if I don’t push my feelings away I will get an anxiety attack, so I tried really hard, but then I couldn’t [...]
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1

Hello

  April 3rd, 2019 by darkwillow

Hi there fellow broken humans. Would anyone like to talk? My email is devinbelver@yahoo.com if youre feeling lonely. Or devinx7 if you like kik better. Or nothing. That works too. I dont know.


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4

The unexpected happened…

  April 3rd, 2019 by rainyday

It has been a long time since my last post, I lost the access to this site and I was unable to regain access. My life has changed drastically, my husband of more than 20 years wants the divorce.

I did not work in all these years because I was sick and there was not chemist position available where I live, I was stay home mom. I am looking for a job again, I will be alone all on my own soon, it looks like mission impossible. There are not chemist positions available. Do I have to make a career change? All is money and time consuming. [...]
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2

Lifeline

  April 3rd, 2019 by Daisy_rosieismyrealname

Sorry for the spams but I feel like this site has been a lifeline the past couple of days, preventing from the overflow of emotions that eventually get me into trouble when I don’t keep my mouth shut. My liver and heart are no longer fucked so I’m heading home, told the doctors I feel fine when in fact I’ve felt like throwing up since 2am but I can throw up at home. Also told them I didn’t have an active plan, which I guess I don’t. Fantasies of jumping of bridges and in front of cars give me some relief that if I had [...]
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3

Going on four years

  April 3rd, 2019 by namelessqueer

visiting this website.  30 years of life.  22ish years of depression and anxiety.  9 years since I tried to kill myself last. 15 years since I first started trying to kill myself.  None of these numbers feel like they mean anything when I hear my inner voice(s) telling me that I should jump onto the train tracks or that I should just stay in bed forever or that nothing I do is good enough and that I’m actually an awful person that no one really loves.

I think I need to increase my meds.  I’m starting to waver and worry.  Nothing I do will make these [...]
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3

‘Do you regret it?’

  April 3rd, 2019 by Daisy_rosieismyrealname

Of course I have to reply with yes but I want to say that I don’t. Yes I failed (major screw up) but I don’t feel guilty for taking action against my own life based on my own personal feelings. If anything, being so close to death has made me more desperate for it.

If I do actually succeed one day, then ask me if I regret it.


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3

Over my head

  April 3rd, 2019 by heartlessviking

Today we were reviewing a statistics question. The content of the question doesn’t matter, but the answer does. We were talking about solutions to problems, my favorite subject. I figured out that there had to be a solution to this problem, and my professor said: “That’s math over your head. It’s over my head.” The lady has a PhD in evolutionary psychology, and probably knows more about social psychology than I’ll figure out for another decade. Yet it’s this arrogance, over my head. You joking? I’m always at the same time in over my head and underwhelmed by the challenges presented to me. That’s fricken [...]
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4

I feel bad… yet angry

  April 2nd, 2019 by ariusversea

I don’t want to bother anyone with my problem. And yet I feel as if I’ll explode. For the past week, I’ve had to watch my abuser walk down my same hallways, spend quality time with his friends in his new clothes (guess his mom spoiled him), while I with in my usual frustration, jumpy whenever I feel anyone come near me, wanting to run away and having no one that understands because I CAN’T TELL.

but what if i killed myself? what if i fell out the window? in my letter, i’d blame everyone that protected him, everyone that made me feel like i [...]
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2

What if it is all a delusion?

  April 2nd, 2019 by heartlessviking

I’m working on a project on delusions, for a class I’m taking. For this class we have to assess the delusional state of a person, explain their symptoms and the source of the disorder.

It brings me to something close to my heart but that is hard to talk about. I’ve had delusions, and hallucinations, and further they happened while I was absolutely sober. There was no warning, just bang and the reality I knew was gone and I was talking to people that didn’t exist.

It occurs to me that this may all be a delusion, every moment from 2010 to present. Supposing there was some [...]
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9

Fluoxetine

  April 2nd, 2019 by noblube

After taking Escitalopram (15) I‘m now taking Fluoxetine. Any experience with it?


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2

Thought of the Day

  April 2nd, 2019 by Daisy_rosieismyrealname

I’m left with the guilt of saving myself.


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1

Spider web

  April 2nd, 2019 by Ihatemylifelikeahater

Same old shit over and over again.
Same routine. 
Same problems.
Same feelings.

No matter how hard i try…… Nothing changes.

I ask myself everyday “can i handle more?”
“Can i endure more?”
“Can’t i live like this anymore?”
“Am i no longer gonna be healthy?”
“Am i dead inside?”
“Am i all alone?”
“Who could possibly listen to me?”
“Who can i trust?”
“Who did i screwed more ELENA OR ANA?”
“Where can i go to be free?”
“Am i ever gonna forget about committing suicide?”
“Bleach, knife, poison, blade, or hanging?”
“Do GOD exist?”
“If GOD exist…… Why he’s letting me suffer?”
“What’s [...]
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3

Dear my “best friend”.

  April 2nd, 2019 by strawberrycrown

I hope you know I’m never asking you to see me again. I’m afraid to call you now because I’m being “annoying”. I’m not going to be making any effort anymore, that’s up to you. Things have been said, hurtful things – and with no explaination. I don’t have much trust for many people anymore but I thought you were one of the good ones. I hope you know that you make me fore more ashamed and embarrassed of myself than you think of me. I want you to know that you are the reason for my pain Rn. I want you to know that I [...]
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