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4

To thehusk

  October 5th, 2018 by Stable as Uranium

Sufjan Stevens’ music really helps me feel better, for a time being. I know a few other people here have posted his songs before… I don’t know if it’ll help you, but your post reminded me of this song.

You know what, I killed a mouse once, after it got caught in an old mouse trap that failed to kill it. But he didn’t look all that pathetic or desperate. He looked angry and squeeked at me before I finished him off… Thinking about that little rat having the balls to hiss at me even while trapped, starved and with a broken spine lends a perspective …

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4

Time

  October 5th, 2018 by unknownsoldier

I find myself so busy I don’t have time for this site anymore… I guess that can be a good thing

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5

Is It Worth It?

  October 5th, 2018 by thehusk

Today I came across a dying rabbit while out walking. It had a deep wound at the back of it’s neck, presumably from where it had been bitten. My guess is that my approach had scared off whatever predator made the kill. It was just lying there, chest rising and falling as it breathed in and out, gazing up helplessly. I assume it was paralyzed. I’ve come across a fair number of animal corpses before, and live ones are everywhere this time of year, but I don’t think I’ve ever been that close to something that large while it was actually dying.

What struck me was …

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4

Meditation and Depression (my results)

  October 5th, 2018 by WITHINtheShadows

I use to meditate regularly but for five days I decided to meditate intensily trying to follow what I guy told in youtube he did.

He isolated himself from all and meditated 8 hours a day for 10 days. In the end he got rid of depression. My intention was that too.

For 5 days I restricted my contacts with external world in 90% but I couldnt meditate 8 hours a day because my body ached a lot when meditating in the same position. I could stand 30min each session of meditation in the beginning and one hour in …

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2

  October 5th, 2018 by Stable as Uranium

https://***.gl/images/cWNsYE

https://***.gl/images/3u3tyN

There was someone on here who posted Blue Moon by Elvis once…

It made me sad. You could tell they lost their soul mate and their life had become lame and mundane as a result. I pray for them sometimes, even though I don’t really believe in shit like that.

Looking back, I wish I could have shared the works of Virginia Woolf with them… She killed herself by drowning, making her death a badass metaphor about her love. I still wonder if they’re okay sometimes. I think they would’ve appreciated someone so relatable.

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2

What a day

  October 5th, 2018 by EmptyFuckUp

I have this friend who we go for coffee every now and then and we’re cool he tells me about his job and he works in general mental health so naturally he’s able to spot a lot about me. I was okay with that, he kinda got it without being too much for me.

Today we meet up and he’s being himself and getting me to talk even when I don’t want to and is analysising what I say but in a way that’s comforting. I don’t know it’s hard to explain we have an easy friendship he’s been through a lot too and gets why …

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1

The Standells – Paint It Black

  October 5th, 2018 by Taf Taf

 

Lyrics:

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colours anymore, I want them to turn black
I see the girls go by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes
I see a line of cars and they’re all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
It’s like a new born baby, it just happens every day
I look inside myself and see my heart turned black
I see my red door I must

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5

What do you think?

  October 5th, 2018 by animetiddygf

Hi I’m new to this site, and have found it very theraputic for the thoughts that have been reeling through my head lately, and have been no stranger throughout my life. Its oddly refreshing to know there are people out there like me, and not only that, that there are platforms in which I can speak openly without fear of once again being institutionalized with no improvement. So I just wanted to give my story and ask you guys if you think I have a good chance/quality of improving my life, or…well the opposite I guess.

First off I’m 26. A mother to one …

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1

Cheesy inspirational crap

  October 5th, 2018 by PatheticMale

So I just watched a documentary about a current poly addict. The dude seems like he has a kind soul but the horrible circumstances in his life just destroyed him like he was abused by his parents and shit… The video ended with him telling a story. I normally hate these cheesy inspirational things but this one really resonated with me I guess. It went like this: Two fathers are with their daughters in the park and one of the girls just keeps falling over and over. So one father asks: “Who is this girl that is falling constantly?” And the other one tells him: …

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2

Desperate

  October 5th, 2018 by PatheticMale

I can´t find anyone to love because I´m depressed and have low self esteem. I am depressed because I can´t find anyone. I feel like I don´t deserve it.
It´s like a closed never ending cycle. I don´t know what to do.

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2

The Sooner I Die The Better

  October 5th, 2018 by NobodyKnowsorCares

Hello people of The Suicide Project, since my last posts in Aug, not going to lie its been pretty good, moved in to college, am enjoying my course, meeting new people and a whole new town.

But this fairytale only lasted till recently. Its been a month in college. Ive made a lowkey fool of myself. Ive ruined peoples friendships. I ruined a relationship that I rushed into with someone unbelievable and now its unfixable (dont give me that petty “oh you can fix anything if you put your mind to it” bullshit). I honestly loved her, but now she would rather see me rot in …

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1

Right

  October 4th, 2018 by OnlyFurther

She was right to call me hopeless.

I am truly inadequate.

I will never lead a successful life.

Such foresight from an elementary school teacher.

Hate is all I deserve; they were right to hate me in the end.

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0

failure waste

  October 4th, 2018 by Stable as Uranium

I hate myself more than I love you. I hate myself more than I could ever love you. Which means I don’t really love you. Which makes me hate me more. I never ever believed in you. I never ever believed in me. I never believed in either of us.

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1

Weed

  October 4th, 2018 by lazyjake

Weed is the only thing that makes me feel like staying alive. The only thing that makes me feel like there is a reason to live. Its depressing and happy at the same time. Maybe when smash comes out I’ll feel a bit better. Maybe I’ll be able to play baseball next year and it’ll make me feel better. Idk. But sober me just wants to die all the God damn fucking time

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2

  October 4th, 2018 by Tellmewhy

I feel like shit

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8

Cats

  October 4th, 2018 by WITHINtheShadows

IDK what to do with myself. Really.

I’m very sorry and very alone.

I’m in deep mourning for 2 years since my first cat died and I cant get over it because the other cat died too.

My heart is broken. My soul is bitter. I’m hopeless.

My cats were all for me…my family my best friends my reason to be here.

Now I’m stuck trying to live till die. I miss that real pure love and joy only a cat can share…

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5

Pink Floyd – Echoes, Part 1 (Live at Pompeii)

  October 4th, 2018 by Taf Taf

 

Lyrics:

Overhead the albatross
Hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
The echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine
And no one called us to the land
And no one knows the wheres or whys
Something stirs and something tries
Starts to climb toward the light
Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand
The best I can
And no one calls us

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4

  October 4th, 2018 by jr.

I really wish  I could kill myself now

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1

Lousy

  October 4th, 2018 by morado123

I’m so sick and tired of my lousy self.

I’m not gallant enough to tell everyone that whatever they heard about me from my ex is false.

I just didn’t want to give my ex satisfaction that he made me mad.

Oh, this so sounds like teenage angst. Fuck.

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1

  October 4th, 2018 by skia

I HAVE SAD DAYS.

I ALSO HAVE BETTER DAYS.

SOMEHOW THESE DAYS, I CAN’T DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO ANYMORE.

I FEEL LIKE SHIT.
I DONT KNOW IF I’M ACTUALLY LIVING OR JUST WAITING FOR SOMETHING WHO KNOWS WHAT.

I WROTE THIS RANDOMLY, IMPULSIVELY. I MUST HAVE BEEN SUFFERING THESE DAYS TOO MUCH.

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